Tenebroso

So you have to believe you are worthy of an attractive woman and that self image gets reflected back to you in how she responds to you? What do you mean when you say average looking guys are the target? Why would they be the target?

Very relevant to the world today. When she spoke about Marilyn Monroe, she could have been speaking about the infinite number of IG Model's and their adoring followers. Both the follower and the adored feel empty, the latter because men only see the surface and the former because the feminine becomes this unattainable object. Also when she spoke about the balance of the masculine and feminine, the male reaction to the new female independence, she could have been speaking about the Red Pill/MGTOW movements.

I think in 2024, Chico the model is considered by far the most attractive He has almost become the standard for young men to aspire to. Women, including older women seem to be looking for more feminine, pretty looking men. I am the exact same age as Chico, born the same year and I observe guys with his look always doing well with women. One thing I have noticed however is that the prettiest most feminine women are the ones more attracted to the more masculine looking men, with hard features.

Reading the sentence, I had a feeling you was talking about Hegre because it's the best example of conscious, healthy porn and I can't think of anything similar. Their videos have a completely different energy to most well known porn companies. It seems judging by your story that if you pay attention to the right details, you increase the frequency of synchronicities that are aligned with your needs and wants. I am a bit of a day dreamer, it takes a lot of effort for me to pay close attention to something and when I do it is often things that don't serve me.

I will give you a tip in terms of high consciousness porn. Hegre Art, you will thank me later. Also hardcore stuff is not low consciousness as long as everyone is consenting. Humans are horny and physical, we shouldn't deny it. I feel no shame in watching Amateur Femdom spanking lol

I have what some may say is an unhealthy obsession with attraction. I have to say this is easily one of the best, if not the best video I have seen on the subject. There seems to be a tug of war between our lower and higher selves. Her explanation makes me more sympathetic towards women. So base level of consciousness is based more on sexual tension that is produced between opposites and survival but survival looks slightly different for everyone. Many people are stuck at this level of consciousness. I can see how more dominant men fulfill a need for women at this stage of consciousness. The more we grow, the more nuanced attraction becomes. The unconscious goal of humans overall is to reach wholeness so we seek sometimes healthy but sometimes destructive relationships with the goal getting what we need to reach this sense of oneness. It's almost mathematical, x is some ever elusive wholeness and we look to combine with another person to reach x. Our idea of the divine will be reflected in what we seek in others. Ironically the more developed and whole a person is the less they need another person to complete them. Attraction becomes more complicated because you are not responding to the body but to the needs of your souls and karmic journey, maybe this explains why we see some unusual couple pairings. Trauma also plays less of a role at later stages of development, I guess because you become less identified with the body and this particular lifetime. As you increase in consciousness you might still be attracted to people at lower levels of consciousness to remain grounded. Specific types represent a specific medicine. We are either attracted to our high self/divine image or we are attracted to our wounding. If we develop but are still attracted to the same types in our previous state then we might be stuck in a Karmic Loop. Maybe this is why so many women can't shake off the attraction to the bad boy. Women were oppressed from the beginning of the industrial age to basically the 1970s and they perhaps developed a collective spiritual and psychological stockholm syndrome where they want to throw the patriarchal shackles on the surface but are deeply drawn to the the shadow of masculinity. So smart, self aware women today are confused when they meet a nice, seemingly harmless, pleasant man and they feel nothing because he does nothing to trigger her wound which needs to be healed. Interesting that she says that the collective is dealing with age 15 type attraction. Matches what I see, all the discussions about modern dating dynamics are very base level. I have to include myself, I am still internally stuck trying to heal the rejected 15 year old wound, a girl school at predicted I would always struggle with women and she was right. I also find I am nearly always attracted to very dominant, strong women and the few positive experiences with women have always been older, smarter and dominant. I find more passive, introverted women tend not to like me at all. It probably doesn't take long for them to figure out that I cannot help them integrate, if they are at the lower levels of consciousness. I love the way she explains things. Our attraction is always aligned with our specific developmental curriculum. So it is important to look beneath the surface and figure out the symbolism of what you are attracted to and why, it will tell you a lot about yourself. So they key is the search for balancing and this balance can be reached through responding to our soul/higher self/divine image, karmic cycle or trauma. Also the balance of masculine and feminine. Next time I meet a woman I am attracted to, I am going to ask myself....What does she need? What is her level of consciousness? Am I her medicine? lol......Am I her next step in consciousness? The most evolved people often don't have partners because they have become so balanced. It's a bit of a catch 22 because at lower levels of consciousness you kind have to hope that your need to integrate matches with another persons needs but at higher levels it becomes so subtle and layered that two people who could be great for each other miss each other. Like attracts like as you raise in consciousness. When we are focused on soothing our wounds we seek it's opposite. What we find highly attracted in another is either a quality we have in ourselves or a potential. That explains my attraction to the most extroverted, uninhibited, confident alpha women who happen to usually be nicer to me than other women although I have yet to actually manage to get into a relationship with one but maybe I should pursue this type more confidently and they are looking for me, just maybe. She admits it's kind of complicated, that was a lot to take in for a 34 minute video had to listen very carefully the second time. This is a bit of a mess, sorry to anyone who has to read this.

Very interesting, I am going to listen a second time before I express my opinion. You seem to be a one stop encyclopedia for all things esoteric. Thanks for sharing.

@NoSelfSelf There is a smugness to your answers on here, it's quite pathetic. People take different paths to growing, it doesn't mean you have to mock them. I am sure there are parts of your life where your are clueless and insecure.

What if you approach many women and get rejected every time? For the compound of momentum to develop somebody has to say yes at some point.

I agree that women don't necessarily have it easier, it's just different problems. I guess the core issue for men is overcoming the hurdle of being invisible, just being seen is an achievement for the average man but for most women that is trivial. I guess women are looking for deep compatibility, the needle in the haystack that inspires her and makes her feel alive. So it feels like for most you have to focus on quantity and just shoot your shot until a woman takes a chance on you while, women are focused on quality, filtering for the best guy they can get. Most men don't seem to have whatever sparks that deep attraction in women, so I assume that must feel very disappointing. One thing I hear often is women wishing they were lesbian, being attracted to men seems to be burden while I have read of men who wish they could turn off their sex drive since it's so difficult to be a guy gets his needs met, I have had those feeling myself.

Of course, I don't deny. A good example if you follow Tik Tok is The West Elm Caleb situation. A guy in New York who went viral for sleeping with multiple women and leading them on, all these girls thought they were the only one until they started sharing notes and realized they were all sleeping with the same man. So all these women were having sex with one guy and many of the guys who they ignored were sleeping with nobody.

One man might be involved with many women on and off. So it follows, if every woman is having sex it doesn't mean every man is.

My experience in starting conversations with women is either a blank gaze that says stop talking to me or just overt disgust that I had the audacity to start a conversation. I am not sure proximity is as important as it used to be in 2024, it seems social media is more important. A girl I grew up with and is part of my social circle is currently dating a well known rapper. She is not an instagram model, posting revealing pictures or anything yet a rapper DM'ed her and she has spent the last year travelling the world with this rapper who has spoken in interviews about sleeping with thousands of women and having orgies. How am I meant to compete with that? When the women my age, in my proximity can just be plucked from obscurity at any time by the most high status men. It seems if you are not very attractive being incredibly famous is the only way to not be invisible.

@Chadders Your point is simple but perceptive. I think you are correct, there is seemingly a self-esteem crisis and that 'third' approach to attraction has become very important. I am imagine people with strong self image, little to no trauma, stable attachment find each other and pair off quietly.

What makes respect mature and disrespect immature? Explain it like I am 5, I am not seeing the connection.

The message on social media seems to be not to approach, it seems women want to be left alone unless you can read her mind and know the exact day, time and moment she is receptive to meeting anyone. I think women today actually initiate contact with the most popular men through social media. Male content creators and athletes have spoken about becoming well known and women just offering themselves to them in very direct way. It seems high status undercuts the assumed more patient, dynamic nature of female attraction. While a woman might not consciously want to be a side-piece or a harem member, she still might be drawn to a certain guy who other women are competing for. She might feel she is settling for the guy she does end up with, one thing I see increasingly expressed is the desire to be single instead of settling, if they can't get the exact dream guy they want. So if you are not one of the guys, either you are hoping to be given a chance by someone who feels she is settling for you or the women in your league would rather stay alone than give you a chance.

Would you tell your son to wait, while women go through their trial and error phase with bad boys? I don't see how this is an inspiring or encouraging message to young men. On social media women who have moved past this phase and are beginning to date men who are emotionally available, kind and stable express frustration at not feeling the spark of attraction with these men. Is being warm-hearted, stable, trustworthy really actually attractive in itself or are these just qualities women wished the men they are already attracted to have. I don't think the problems of modern dating is a shortage of men with these qualities.

It seems in an unrestricted society, this is the way it is.

I like this. I am a Londoner too, I know how intimidating the women can be here. I need to be braver and take bold steps. Thanks for this inspiration.

While there are things to admire in aBill Gates and Obama respectively I wouldn't want their relationships. From everything I have seen, they seem to be more relationships of convenience. Basically, from everything I am observing and reading about the dynamic between men and women, it seems better to be the immoral fuckboy who a woman knows is not good for her but she can't can't get enough of because he meets her needs. Being the guy that a woman has to train herself to like after she is done with bad boys does not sound appealing to me, it just makes me want to embody the bad boy. I grew up in a tough city but went to very good schools. I am acquainted with drug dealers, gangsters but also people professionals (doctors, teachers, lawyers etc) and it is striking to me that the more destructive a person is the less issues they have attracting women of any class.

Considering what you have written here, are attractive men likely to be chameleons able to shape shift into whatever the woman who crosses their path needs in the moment or are they more likely to have a more static identity and sense of self?

The 50/50 ration of men and women does not mean attraction will be equally distributed. Clearly some men die alone never touching a woman, while others sleep with thousands of women. Everywhere I have been in life; school, jobs, different mixed social circles etc there isn't a woman for every man. Some men seem to have way more broad appeal, some men have a niche people and some seemingly none. It seems you find the idea that women heavily favour certain men threatening to the idea of female individuality but I think two things can be true at once. Each individual woman has her own type and that can shift depending on where she is in her life but this does not contradict the fact that some men seemingly having something whether it is looks, status, charm that supersedes the mysterious, abstract nature of female attraction and allows to experience a level of sexual/romantic abundance many men can't fathom.

My concern is that it sounds like women have to make themselves attracted to one group of men, while they can't help but fall for the more destructive men. On social media women speak of knowing it will end badly with the fuckboy but they can't help being attracted, while struggling to have that primal attraction for the guys who seem more compatible on paper. This does not seem encouraging.

It is true you just find it uncomfortable. Serial Killers, Murderers, Abusers, Drug Dealers and worse have wives, girlfriends and admirers. Just because you don't like it does not make it true. You have no serious retort to this.

I think dating apps are the scapegoat. The guys who have no problem attracting women in real life are the same guys getting all the attention online. Dating apps just unmask the primal firmware behind human mating dynamics. The most physically attractive people get all the attention, status and wealth matter but all the the more subtle qualities that people think they are attracted to; kindness, emotional intelligence, patience.....don't matter if you can't past the hurdle of attraction in the first place.