Martin123

Oh I don’t I just blocked him, I used him as an example of what I mean by members being abusive.

The old Max doesn’t want to let go only because you perceive him as an enemy. you have an adversarial relationship with your ego and are treating it as an enemy to deny and run away from, rather than a part of you that is begging for love and attention. Treat yourself and your ego with care, with love and with respect, embrace yourself with enthusiasm and authenticity. Be honest about how you feel, and feel deeply and feel more, and allow feeling to be your spiritual practice. If I tune into your energy, the first thing the comes up is that you need more respect for yourself, and then the question becomes ‘how am I disrespecting myself on a daily basis?’ if you lead with respect, respect for your ego, for your mind, for your emotions and experiences, all that is meant to be let go, will let go of you with a parting letter saying ‘thank you for respecting me, I now received and taught you all that I needed, and am letting go of you as a way of bringing new and positive energy into your field, creating more space for healing and expansion to dawn.’ and lastly, what you can do is to think which one of your parents taught you to disrespect yourself on a daily basis, where self dis-respect was rewarded as if it were a good thing, and doing things that were respectful of you and your own boundaries were punished as if it were something bad to shy away from. respect the ego, because the truth of who you are has infinite respect to all of creation, including and especially the ego. that is what came through for you today, may you take time to take it in and integrate it in the best possible way. all the best.

Thanks Max, yes that’s me, that was many many moons ago, I think I hid or deleted it as I didn’t like that work anymore. It would’ve looked much differently today. nevertheless lovely you found it helpful!

Yesterday @Gesundheit called my inner child work ‘middle aged lesbian projection’. that is not HELP, that’s verbal abuse. Then a mod tried to guilt trip or scold me into apologising for speaking up, as if I were to deny something that only resulted in a healthy conversation for many participants. Not help, not self, no self-help in that.

Lol I hope not then I wouldn’t be able to block you if needed haha

@Leo Gura I think this is all fine since we can use the ignore function and move on, the issue was originally raised against mods acting disrespectfully and us being unable to block em. I find some things mods here say/do rather unhealthy, if I could block them and move on and cleans myself that, I personally would be grateful, not having that option puts me into an awkward position.

So what ? Abuse that’s not perceived as abuse is still abuse. your perception of things is just your individual perspective, it doesn’t mean anything about my experience or other people’s experiences of abuse and disrespect. Examples of it are many, in this very thread. You’re suggesting that abuse is in the eyes of the perceiver, which is an excuse that decisively deserves the award ‘the enabler of the year’. congratulations, may you be awarded.

@mandyjw and then when you’re being abused others start pretending to be insightful and when you speak up you’re bombarded with bullshit like ‘oh isn’t that more about you ? Aren’t you projecting ? Isn’t it actually your fault that this person is disrespecting you ?’ .... and the gaslight train goes on. ps: to use the law of attraction to blame yourself is only a self-gaslighting mechanism, nothing more and certainly not an insight.

Yes, it seems to be a double-edged sword. The anonymity isn’t the issue, the issue is that members get away with disrespectful borderline a abusive speech without consequences.

Isn’t that actually problematic in some ways as many of us here get to hide behind the internet’s anonymity and get away with saying things we would’ve never said in real life.

But if you call green pathological doesn’t that make you automatically orange/blue/red and puts you in a position where you are to learn from the vulnerability and authenticity of green rather than pretend you’re above and beyond it ? You’re right. The strong assertion is that much of what goes on in here is toxic and unhealthy. Strong assertion made.

Hey Mandy. I’m not sure about Eckhart’s group, I’ve never been there. ive joined the ‘Sophia code official forum’ after listening to the Sophia Code audio book (which isn’t for everyone and not everyone will resonate with it), however the way I was received and the way that place is moderated is fantastic!!! only because love and emotional authenticity are an emphasis of the teachings and the overall spirit. Another place I was very pleased with (although it isn’t perfect) was a Facebook group that discussed attachment styles, which is a relationship focused issue, therefor if we are seeking more mature relationships it would be rather instinctive to ‘relate’ to others more maturely. ActualiZed.org isn’t relationship building focused though, it is often rather alienating and perpetuating patterns of disconnection and isolation. There are even people who say it alienated them from their friends, go figure... isn’t that a red flag lol. Thank you for your service and contributions, I’ve always had a very pleasant and desirable experience with you. farewell ‘MOD’ Anna !

I’ve gotta say there are communities that I’ve joined (as simple as Facebook groups), and the tonality of the conversations is way more kind, respectful and inclusive for everyone. It is dedicated to the well-being of one another. here the emphasis is more on whether the things someone says are ‘true’, rather than helpful, kind and inspiring unity consciousness. If we are overly focused on what’s true rather than whether the way something is conveyed is helpful and supportive to someone else, we are missing the point of what it means to communicate in a healing way with another human being. Truth is subjective, but the way we feel about the words being spoken and the feelings they inspire in our bodies are always objectively right for each of us.

Let’s not turn this into a thread against mods by the way, a lot of what mods do is amazing and they’re great people. Just putting this out there, only because they have seeming authority does not make them ‘the bad guys’ in any way shape or form.

This also rings true that if our spiritual practices don’t inspire and allow us to treat each other better and more respectfully, their effectiveness and usefulness is in question.

The double standard is that I see people getting banned for ‘trolling’ or ‘posting low quality things’, and then there are members who get away with verbal abuse on a regular basis without it being taken seriously, as if it weren’t a bannable offence. Yes you can block them, but it is unhelpful to cultivate an environment where rudeness, disrespect, and borderline abusive behaviour is tolerated. This would however have to be also seen in the context of Leo (as he admitted himself) posting in a way that’s arrogant and obnoxious (which is disrespectful to the members).

Yes this is a very important point everyone’s gotta remember. that being said there’s no excuse of abuse of power, even though locking an old thread is in my opinion hardly a pressing issue. I appreciate your words and thanks for your contributions, all the best!!

That is a great analogy. I love that haha, you couldn’t be more right!

We had a counselling exam where the 'therapist/professor' acted as a client of ours and we were to offer him counselling. He however even though in a client position took control over the conversation and didn't allow me to have my own counselling style and insisted on the session going his way, which is a boundary violation, and I complained about it as such. Sometimes if you post an issue of yours here, you get picked apart by seemingly insightful posts that are more of a mechanism of control and pressure, rather than a helpful offering. It is the advice being offered to you being more about the one offering advice, rather than about the recipient of it, as if they were 'getting off' on their role of being needed. Not all the advice here works that way, but some of it does. (PS: I used to do the same thing to others years ago, that's how I recognize how toxic it is). upper right corner, click the drop down menu, just above the 'sign out' button there's a 'ignored users' option, there you can add people to ignore to your heart's content.

Ps, has everyone forgotten about the time @cetus uttered ‘you question Leo in his absence and for that alone you are banned’, which then proceeded by a ban on @Lento ???? or did it get deleted and shrugged under the rug.

Bro I don’t think it’s not the issue we can’t ignore mode, the issue is mods who abuse their power are still mods. in other words, not many people have a good idea how to respect emotional boundaries here, including mods. Some of them tend to Be invasive which I’ve been vocal about in the past (actually just one in particular in my experience, and I am not afraid to say that that one mode (I think some of us can paint the picture) does not act in a way that is respectful of people’s boundaries). ive a counselling university background I’ve had a professor taken off a course he was teaching over a lesser complaint I filed than what goes on here on a regular basis.

@Seraphim you’re only asking that question form a space suggesting that the belief in indigo children is wrong. Star seeds, indigo children, crystal children, earth angels, old souls, are very much real and valid. It’s jus the sense of wanting to belong that dissolves because you find an inner sense of belonging, without needing to believe or stop believing anything, because belief is irrelevant.

This is highly uncalled for sir, I’ll give you a report for verbal attack, if any mod cares to have a look at it.

Not even kidding this is the song I’ve been singing since I woke up today haha how fitting!

I’ll just go and do my inner child healing session today for myself and on behalf of everyone here ?? I’ll pick up the slack.