Spiritual Warrior

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #48 On an emotional level, this has been a very interesting couple of weeks. I went to a dance competition and had a blast with my dance partner, had a blast with her again the following weekend, intuited that I would end up hurting her one day and cried, went out on a coffee date with another girl, started making friends with the guys at my gym, and did a photo shoot at work in an elf costume. And probably most importantly, I've discovered that I am currently stuck in a sad and pessimistic mindset, which is not optimal for the life that I am trying to create for myself. This is all good stuff, very eventful, but I am not sure where to go from here. I have stopped making my routines a priority as I am hitting a reset button in order to reassess. Is this just me being lazy or do I really need this break... I don't know... But I really don't know what to do. My rooms a mess, that is the first issue. I'm still in debt. I'm not living a life with an abundance of sex. I have feelings for a girl and its making my head spin as I want to pursue her but at the same time I don't. I am confused. What is it that you want in this life? Lets just focus on that. I want to be a successful dance instructor. Okay, and what does that mean to you? I want to win dance competitions at a high level. I want to be able to walk into any studio in the world and provide value to every single instructor and student there. I want to make 6 figures through just dancing. I want to make a YouTube channel in which I hit on women in cities and post about it. I want to inspire men to do this in a respectful yet flirtatious way that actually works. I want to be able to approach women and tell them that they are beautiful. I want to express my authentic attraction towards them. I want to be able to have sex with women for 30 straight minutes, circulating the delicious sexual energy throughout my body while she climaxes again and again and again. I want to be clear headed and loving in all situations. I want to have a shredded and muscular physique, one that is truly sexy, one that inspires others to work on their bodies. I want to be able to express myself authentically, not worrying about what others think about me in every situation that I go into. I want to have a cute house with a big backyard and a porch and a pool and an outdoor bar and a basement with a pool table and darts. I want to have a highly- conscious relationship that is grounded in Truth and Love and helps each other grow to our full potential. I want all of my friends and family to know that I love and care about them very much. I want to reach LOC 1,000 and help other people reach higher levels of consciousness. I want to write books about enlightenment and Truth. I want to open up a meditation center. I want to go on a 10 day meditation retreat. I want to meet and be taught by someone that is truly enlightened. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is taken from the description from a YouTube video, it is a beautiful description of what hopefulness and optimism looks like: There is a place beyond the mountains where the rivers turn to gold beneath the morning light , Eldoria, the city that never truly sleeps, but quietly breathes with the dawn. They say the air itself hums with memory there, and the wind carries the scent of roads long traveled. A lone wanderer walks toward it now, guided not by maps, but by faith — the soft kind that grows in silence. His path is rough, yet every step gleams with the promise of something waiting just beyond the horizon. This piece was born from that feeling the ache of distance and the calm that follows when you finally stop running. It is music for those who travel in spirit as much as in body, who see the world not as it is, but as it could be. Let it draw you toward quiet fields, crumbling bridges, and a sky that forgives all things. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is my routine listed below going to create the things in life that I have listed above? I would say yes, you've also got to understand that following this routine is more than just building habits, I am building self esteem. Doing this shit over and over and over and over again without wavering is building me into a strong and competent human being and man. Into a man that is able to summon the courage to talk to anybody that he wants to, to summon the courage to tackle life's greatest challenges, to tackle his insecurities, to master and regulate his emotions, to inspire others, to be a loving person, to teach all day and all night. The one thing that I would like to add and that I'm excited to add to this routine is I want to go to the gym first thing in the morning. What would that look like? 12.18.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0 Brush teeth streak: 50 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 21 Meditation streak: 0 Push ups / pull ups streak: 0 Funniness affirmations streak: 12 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 21 No ejaculation streak: 21 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 48 No smoking weed streak: 4 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back:

Habits and Disciplines Journal Entry #1 Okay, it is 10.29.25 and I have realized that I have no discipline in my life which is setting me back from accomplishing my goals. Listed below are the habits that I would like to integrate as well as the reason for doing so: 1.Read when I get home (no electronics) this is for the purpose of having better sleep. I also have a larger vision of being very well educated, which starts with reading lots of books. Just a little bit every night will go a long ways 2.No sexual stimulation from internet No sexual stimulation from the internet. I see no benefit in watching porn, I have a history of being addicted to it and have therefore had struggles having an erection with a real woman, this is a no brainer. Stop with this nonsense. 3.Workout at gym 3 days a week Workout at the gym 3 days a week. I want to get really fuckin hot, like really fuckin hot. And the best way to do this as a man is to hit the gym and do it in a strategic and intelligent way. I am going to go 3 days a week, I am going to work out my chest on Monday at 11am - 12pm, this will be barbell bench press, dumbbell incline press, and that one with the cable that stretches your chest, it is going to be 4 sets and the first set is a warm up, so 3 real sets. Next is legs, I would like to use the angled leg Press, 4 sets, then the leg extensions, 4 sets, then use a calf machine, 4 sets again, next is back and arms. I want to start doing deadlifts again, I love deadlifts, then a barbell row and then a dumbell row, I really want to get my back jacked for dance. 4 sets of each again and this will be the workout routine for 3 months. Then I will have a de load week, in which I take the whole week off from weight training and I reevaluate how far I've come. I will also need to measure how much protein and carbs and calories that I am in taking and also weight myself on a daily basis so that I can track my progress 4.No ejaculating for 3 years No ejaculating for 3 years. This has to do with my goal of having sexual abundance in my life. I want to have sex with real woman, not with my own hand. Not ejaculating also gives me more energy to shift my focus into other things in life, such as having a bigger impact on people, reading books, meditating and overall being a healthier human that people look up to. I lead with integrity. 5. Approach and hit on 10 women every week for 1 year Approach and hit on 10 women every week, which would equate to 500 women on the year. This would be a great milestone for me and it would make me very proud. This coincides with the goal of wanting to have sexual abundance in my life. I want lots of sex with lots of women. That is what I genuinely want. I don't want to fake that anymore, I want this and therefore I will have it. Thank you God for allowing me to have an abundance of sex with an abundance of women. - Half time: as you can see, we already have an interrelated system at work, the no ejaculation goal supports the hitting on 10 women every week because not ejaculating will give me more motivation and energy and time to hit on several women a week, on the flip side if I hit on 10 women every week, watching porn and ejaculating becomes a lot less appealing, both cogs in the system are supporting each other. Nice job there. - 6. Eat 150 g of protein every single day I have learned that eating a lot of protein is imperative to building lots of muscle. I want to build lots of muscle in order to become the sexiest man I can be. This is required, therefore I have to eat enough protein. 7. Meditate every morning for 30 minutes moving past physical attractiveness, I want to be attractive in a sense that I am magnetic as a human being, people want to be around me, and I also want to be able to stay present and within the moment both for dance and also for the people around me, such as students and friends and family and co workers. The more I meditate, the higher my consciousness grows, and the more I understand the truth of reality, the more I am able to make an impact on the world. Overall, this is mainly for better mood and mental clarity, the motivation is NOT towards enlightenment, although I predict that is what it will turn into 8. Wake up at 7:30 am every day this challenge has two benefits: 1. It is going to build self discipline and character, and 2. I have to wake up that early in order to get everything done that I want to ( I've already mapped out my schedule accordingly) 9. Brush teeth morning and night this is also building self discipline and it is also for the betterment of my hygienic and overall health and well being. I am also a dance instructor, I work very close to people, therefore it is imperative that I have fresh breath. I may even want to pick up a toothbrush and toothpaste and keep it at the dance studio. 10. Floss teeth every morning another habit for self discipline and overall wellbeing 11. Shower and groom hair every morning this is similar to the last two, it is building character to stick to a habit. The main thing that I'm trying to do with this morning routine is that there are no grey areas here - no - I wake up at 7:30 am, I brush my teeth and floss, then I take a shower, then I groom my hair and beard, then I go downstairs and meditate for 30 minutes on the floor, then I do my push ups and pull ups, which is the next thing on this list and there is no wiggle room, there is no being wishy washy, no I am doing this every fucking day, I don't care if I get kidnapped and wake up in Antarctica, no - I am going to follow the same routine no matter what. Fuck variety - life is chock full of surprises, a routine keeps you grounded and focused and stable - this is the true masculine power - to have the self discipline to stick to this routine 12. Do 3 sets of push ups and 3 sets of pull ups every morning again, this is self discipline and it will also have a cumulative effect in turning me into a sexy, attractive man. I am going to make these things happen every single day like clock work. There are no excuses. It is time to start living with integrity and purpose and direction. This is the desire that I have been suppressing and distracting my self from with spiritual pursuits. I don’t really want to be enlightened, at least not yet. I have been using enlightenment as a distraction for many years because hitting on women and developing discipline in life is scarier and more uncomfortable to me than reading spiritual books and meditating. If I do these things, I will become the quintessential model of healthy masculinity. And this is what I truly want. I want to maximize my masculine energy to its absolute full potential. Then once I hit that peak, I will move into something more selfless, such as spiritual enlightenment, or whatever else I want to pursue. I am going to need a checklist that I have to check off every single day. This needs to be made public so that I can feel the embarrassment of missing a day. I want to do this on actualized.org, my favorite forum. Thank you God for allowing me to become aware of my authentic desire of being a vessel of healthy masculinity in this world. Thank you God for allowing me to create sexual abundance in my life. Thank you God for allowing me to create a life filled with love, laughter, joy, purpose, and gratitude. Listed below is my checklist for the first two days of my challenge. 10.31.25 Morning routine goals: Brush teeth Floss Shower Groom hair Eat breakfast Meditate Work out Night time routine goals: Brush teeth Wash face No electronics before bed "Whole day" goals: No porn No ejaculation Eat 150 g of protein Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week Approach 10 women I did a good job on everything except for no electronics before bed and eating 150 g of protein. I was on my phone before going to sleep and I am going to have to figure out how to incorporate 150 g of protein into my diet. The weekly goals are going to be assessed at the end of the week on Sunday. I am going to actually keep a counter of how many girls I have approached. I would also like to create a counter so that I can keep track of how many days I consecutively stuck to my habit. The higher the number, the more fulfilled I will feel.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #47 I love journaling! I really do love it. Now, I had a rough day yesterday, it was filled with lack of motivation and pessimism and self doubt. Nowadays, these kinds of modes of thinking are pretty rare, which is positive. In response to this, I did something a little different this morning. Instead of trying to grind through what I was going through and force myself to wake up and get some shit done, I decided to give myself love instead. I allowed myself to sleep in and I tried my damnedest to love every ounce of myself this morning, despite all of my "shortcomings." This is a powerful process and its not that easy to do either. We always want ourselves to change and we think that we need to brute force our way into creating change, but the real change lies in loving ourselves and opening ourselves up to the many desires that we have, opening the door to true and lasting happiness and wellbeing. This is where I am heading as I continue to unlock the door to the Field of Love. Its funny, my dad called me this morning telling me that I should be setting up appointments with heart surgeons. He was saying that hes worried about me because I'm lifting weights and I could have a stroke. As soon as he said this, I felt annoyed. But this is just how his brain opperates, he worries about the people that he loves. But his mind is not very nice to him, coming up with these tragic stories inside of his head. For me, I am in touch with my body. I am not going to have a stroke, I am healthy because I feel healthy. Yes, I understand that I need to have another heart surgery and I appreciate the doctors letting me know that, but... I am not going to worry myself about it, I have learned enough in this lifetime to understand that the Universe has its own plan, theres no need to mentally masturbate about things. Now, with all of. this self love stuff going on inside of me, I do want to get some tangible things done right now right here before I head to dance practice at 12 o'clock. This means that I have 1 hour before I have to leave. I definitely need to shower and I also want to meditate, which means that my push ups and pull ups will have to come after work tonight. Also, what am I doing this weekend? I would honestly love to go to a coffee shop and try to summon the courage to hit on a girl or two. I am going christmas shopping with my friends at 3 o'clock on Saturday and I would also like to go to the yoga studio and take a class and also ask them if I can do their work study program. I am going to head there in the morning, but I am going to find out when my co worker will be there because she is the one that will help me get into the work study program, so either Saturday or Sunday depending on when shes working there, I just have to ask her today. Then on Sunday, I am baking Christmas cookies at my cousins house and my sister will be there! I love her. 12.17.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0 Brush teeth streak: 49 Floss streak: 11 Shower streak: 20 Meditation streak: 0 Push ups / pull ups streak: 0 Funniness affirmations streak: 11 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 2 Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 20 No ejaculation streak: 20 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 47 No smoking weed streak: 3 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back:

Interlude: Releasing sadness ~ 12.17.25 The song and music video perfectly depicts what I'm going through right now with the realization that I am creating my own reality of sadness and dissapointment. As you can see, I am drawing the sad balloon myself, I am creating my own reality.. I then attach the sadness to my "being" and start moving through the world.. The sadness that I am feeling is then reflected in the outside "world." But then, I get a glimpse of Infinite Love.. But I'm scared of Infinite Love because it means that I have to give up this pessimistic mindset that I have grown so fond and attached too... so I push the world away and lock myself in the comfy castle that I've constructed The solution is to summon the courage to cut ties with the sadness and make room for Infinite Love.... And I will get there, it is part of my destiny in this lifetime... What an absolutely perfect depiction of what I am going through right now. I'd like to thank the artist "Larry Pink the Human" ~ I wish you happiness and wellbeing for now and for eternity

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #46 12.16.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 6 Brush teeth streak: 48 Floss streak: 10 Shower streak: 19 Meditation streak: 12 Push ups / pull ups streak: 10 Funniness affirmations streak: 10 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 1 Brush teeth streak: 13 Wash face streak: 13 No electronics before bed streak: 0 (oops) "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 19 No ejaculation streak: 19 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 4 No alcohol streak: 46 No smoking weed streak: 2 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back:

Interlude ~ Realization: I think I'm a sad boy Holy shit, is my vibrational energy that of a sad boy that attracts negativity into his life? Looking back at all of the posts from these past two weeks, almost every one is relating to being sad about something, a yearning, missing something, lacking something... Holy shit am I creating that reality for myself? I got this idea from the book "Ask and It is Given" in which they talk about how you are creating your own reality with your vibrational energy. And I am ALWAYS sad about something. There is always something wrong and I think that I really like this headspace... For example, I love songs like this: I walk this Earth all by myself I'm doing drugs but they don't help My voice says nothing when I'm screaming out for help I stretch my hand, but my grip just gives out I used to love crying in my girlfriends' arms, it felt so liberating and I felt so loved. Now heres the question, do I want to let this persona go? Or do I want to hold onto it? This is a genuine question and I should answer it honestly... No, I don't think I want to let go of it to be honest with you. Could you let it go though? Could you let go of being sad? Also, what felt so good about crying in the arms of someone that loves you? I think that I was able to fully express myself with her. I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel okay about crying. I wanted to let go of the emotion instead of bottling it in. Thats what these cries did for me. And I think that I was lacking this from my own parents, I never felt comfortable expressing my emotions with them. I want to get to a point in which I express my emotions while dancing a solo in front of people, that will be a real testament to my growth as a human being. or this song... Okay, this beat is fire though... Cause I see a vain look in your eyes Tell me, do you see the same, same look in mine? ... You're gonna leave her You have deceived her She's just a girl Now what the fuck am I going to do about this? I won't be able to actualize all of the massive goals that I have for my life if I continue to identify with being a sad boy that is never happy and that cries a lot and that feels bad for himself... Well... Lets take this back to the Sedona Method... could you let this go? Yes of course I could let it go. I mean it is possible. Would you let it go? Yes, I would let it go so that I can open myself up to a happier mindset and a more joyful and peaceful emotional state. How am I going to hit on these girls anyways if I am a sad sack all of the time? When? When are you going to let this go? I am going to let it go right now. I am going to choose to be happy, to be content, to be joyful, to be courageous, to be fearless. Huh.... that was easy...

Interlude: If I fly too far, will I still have a place inside your heart ~ 12.16.25 This song makes me think about my ex girlfriend. She was quite literally the sweetest creature I have ever met, so loving, so nurturing, not a mean bone in her body. Do I miss her sometimes? Yes absolutely.. The issue here is that I am so stuck in this human mindset mentality, creating a story for myself as if it was a soap opera. I know deep down that this is not the best way to live, at least according to the enlightened ones of this world.. but I can't help but be pulled in by the drama of it all.. I mean what a beautiful story it would be if I dated half the girls in the city and then came back to my first real crush and married her?.. will it actually happen.. who the fuck knows... So if I fly too far Would i still have a place inside your heart? When you see what I've become Will you love me for who I am not who I was?

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #45 12.15.25 Oh man... I had one of the worst days in a while yesterday... I just felt like I was bad at everything. I felt like I sucked at dancing. I felt like I sucked at teaching. I felt like I sucked as a human being. Everything. And I could not get out of this funk. That is why I was writing about the Sedona Method yesterday because I was trying my damnedest to get out of the funk that I was in. I would like to find a better way to shift my emotional state when in funks like this, I've never been very good at that. Its as if as soon as I'm feeling down, my M.O. is to just wallow in it and feel bad for myself. I HAVE to work on this if I am going to live a happy life. I've actually had several of these kinds of days over the past couple of weeks, not totally sure whats going on with me... Luckily, I have a very strong support system at work. One of my co workers is really nice to me when I am feeling low, she asks me whats wrong and gives me hugs. My boss is also really nice and encouraging towards me. I wish I didn't need this kind of attention though, I want to be the man that can handle his emotion state on his own, but I truly am grateful for their support. I've also come a long way, a year or two ago, I would have A LOT of days like this, they were not uncommon, nowadays, they are pretty rare. The funny thing was that the day actually started off quite nicely, I did my morning routine, went to the gym to do my push ups and pull ups, chatted with a few of the guys in the locker room and sauna (I'm trying to do this more), and then I went to dance practice with my dance partner. Now she was VERY out of it. She has highs and lows like crazy. She was super insecure. At first it didn't effect me at all, I was in a good mood, joking around despite her insecure emotional state. But then something shifted in me when we moved onto the rhythm dances. I stopped smiling, I stopped joking around, you know what it was... I literally did one move wrong, I can't remember if she said anything about it or not... but yeah thats what happened, I was doing great, then I did ONE FUCKING MOVE WRONG and I shut down. I stopped talking, I felt very hungry, all I wanted to do was leave. Thats insane bro... you allowed one incorrect dance move to shift your entire emotional state for the rest of the day... I mean what the fuck dude... I thought you were better than that... I guess not... but thats okay. The cool thing about this journal is I am able to shine awareness on situations like this, I wouldn't have figured that out if I didn't journal about it. After the dance practice, I felt the shift in my emotional state and I went to the bookstore to journal about The Sedona Method. I really want to start applying this, I just don't really understand it, it seems so simple but it really hasn't worked for me yet, like how do I just let the feeling just be. Its as if I am just so used to repressing my feelings in order to avoid the pain of them. I am going to contemplate this more. When I got back to the studio, I was in an emotional state that I would call "I don't give a fuck about anything." Then I looked at my lesson count, which is a meesly 7 lessons for the week, that is the lowest my lessons have been since February! That is fuckin' terrible! And boom, emotional state just took another hit. Now I'm in an emotional state of "Everything is pointless, why even bother trying." Then we had dance practice and I felt like I was so fuckin' bad at the moves. I look over at the other lead dancer and of course he is breezing through the fuckin' routine. Boom, my ego takes yet another hit, now the emotional state is "Everything is pointless, and by the way you fuckin' suck!" After this, my emotional state is absolutely fucked and everyone knows it. I am completely in my head and I have no motivation to do anything. Again, the support system at the studio is VERY supportive and everything was fine. I made it through till the end of the day, but I failed to improve my emotional state. I am going to work on this. Love you. Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 5 Brush teeth streak: 47 Floss streak: 9 Shower streak: 18 Meditation streak: 11 Push ups / pull ups streak: 9 Funniness affirmations streak: 9 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Brush teeth streak: 12 Wash face streak: 12 No electronics before bed streak: 6 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 18 No ejaculation streak: 18 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 3 No alcohol streak: 45 No smoking weed streak: 1 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: Chest: Back:

Interlude: The Sedona Method What is the Sedona Method? The Sedona Method is an emotional mastery technique in which the person identifies the emotion and then releases it. It doesn't matter if the emotion is positive or negative, it is always beneficial to release. Now... How can I apply this technique while I am in the crossfires of some of these nasty emotions, such as frustration or anger or sadness? Here is a video to help: Notes: The first step to letting go is choosing to let it go Then ask yourself the question, "Could you let it go?" The next questions is "Would you let it go?" or "Would I rather hold on to this feeling or would I rather be free of it?" The last question is "When?" which is an invitation to decide to do it now Right here, right now you can be free of whatever it is that you are holding on to Try your best to be in touch with your Heart instead of your head When you answer these questions, it doesn't matter what your answer is, yes or no are both acceptable answers Think of an issue in your life or about the planet that you would like to change And in this moment, could you simply welcome how you feel, could you just let it be Now, as best you can, could you let it go? Yes or no... Would you let it go? Yes or no... When? And then repeat the process again with either the same issue or a different one. "Could you let it go? Would you? When?" People have released lifelong fears from their psyches through this work Remember, feelings are just feelings, they are not facts and they are not you, and you can let them go

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #44 I dont know what I want anymore ~ 12.14.25 I don't know what I want anymore. Everything seems fuckin' pointless. I mean its not but at the same time it is. But remember, I have come a very long way, even over just this past month. My physique is solid, I competed in a dance competition, I am attracting women into my life, I'm talking to strangers more often, and my mood and happiness have noticeably improved. The main thing that I think is making my head spin right now is my intimate relationship situation.... This seems to always be the case... I am ruled by women... oh boy... I hope I transcend this one day. Here is the issue... Right now, I am talking to two different women. The first woman is a girl that came up to me in the gym, we went out on a nice coffee date a couple of days ago, which lasted an hour. It went really well, she is so sweet and I want to take her out salsa dancing. The second woman is my competitive dance partner. We hungout the following night, we went out to a salsa club and danced all night with other people. Afterwards, we hung out for three more hours, running around the parking lot and sitting in her car, rough housing and snuggling. I haven't kissed either of them yet but something is definitely brewing. Am I being a coward for not kissing her.... I don't like to think like that... just be nice to yourself... And I like for intimacy to feel organic and a kiss in the moment didn't feel organic...The cool thing with this girl is that I am able to be completely myself around her and I enjoy her company so damn much. We laughed with each other for 3 straight hours. I think about her a lot and I think that we can continue to have a really great competitive dancing and intimate connection with each other. The problem here is that I had a massive goal of hitting on women in cities and recording it with Meta Glasses and posting it on YouTube in order to inspire and teach young men how to hit on girls in a fun, flirty, confident, and respectful way. Now, I must remember that this goal is going to take a while to truly manifest. I have to first summon the courage to hit on these women, then I have to actually get good at hitting on them, then I have to start recording the encounters and then post it on YouTube, and then market the videos so that a lot of young men get to see it. I know that if I do this right, people will watch. There is a massive need for highly conscious pick up artists. I don't want to let go of this dream, but.... at the same time, I want a strong intimate connection with this girl very badly. I want her to feel loved by a truly masculine man. Do I just go for it, or should I stop hanging out with her so that I can make this hitting on women thing take off... This is the thing though, I have A LOT of goals that I am working on: I want financial abundance, I want to have whole body orgasms while having sex, I want to win dance competitions, I want to inspire people with my physique, my work ethic, and my dance ability. In a lot of ways, my connection and relationship with her can help with all of these things 1. she would be helping me acquire more career capital in the dance business because we are practicing a lot together 2. If we get physically intimate, I can practice circulating my sexual energy while having sex with her and having full body orgasms ( this would be great actually because I really haven't had that much sex in my life up to this point and I have always had the most sex when I am with one person and I want practice) 3. A physical intimate connection will heighten our chemistry on the dance floor which will win us dance competitions 4. Having a relationship with her would push me to continue to work on my physique in order to turn her on, to develop a solid work ethic for her, and it will push me to be the best dancer I can be, 5. It would be incredibly fun, we have an absolute blast together, she is hilarious and I am able to be my authentically goofy self while around her, this will heighten my overall mood and well being which will trickle into my career work, personal work, and relationships with social group and family. 6 She also loves making videos, I would like to start making some videos with her and posting them on YouTube so that I can get practice in video editing and being on camera, 7. Above all else, I want her to love herself, she is insecure with her body, the way she looks, and she struggles with self-love. I am going guide her down this path as I have gone down it and made it out the other end. I can truly, confidently say that I do love myself and it has taken me a very long time to get here. I will help her on her self love journey. And there you have it, all signs are pointing towards pursuing this woman in an intimate relationship right now.... but I can't put all of my chips in one basket, especially since we haven't had sex yet... so I feel as though I actually have to pursue the other girl that I am not into as much because I know that it will make me "non-needy" with both of them. I am non- needy with the coffee date girl because I don't care if it doesn't work out. I am "non-needy" with the dancing girl because I am already pursuing someone else. This might seem wrong to do to somebody, and maybe it is... But I know how to play the game and get what I want.. sue me.... I will do my best to not hurt either girl. I want to make them both feel loved and cared for for as long we are together. I will do my best to treat you both with love and respect as I play this game of chess with you both. I am sorry in advance if I hurt you. Lets address a few more things in terms of this situation before I log off: Firstly, I am truly happy with my decision and thinking process going on here, I am getting what I want which is this awesome girl and I am actually not sacrificing any of my goals either. Again, she is going to help me in a lot of ways achieve what I want, and I get to provide value to her by being an awesomely masculine and loving presence in her life. Now, yes I am putting off the cold approaching, but heres the thing, I am not ready for it. I mean, I don't have money and I am struggling to summon up the courage to even try... sure I could keep grinding for the next year in terms of courage and keep going to the city over and over again, but it would take too long right now and again I have other goals, which could be further supported by just having a girlfriend. With that being said, I am GOING TO come back to this hitting on women YouTube channel one day... because well... I just absolutely have to... which means that I unfortunately have to eventually let this dancing girl go... And this breaks my heart, it does... Which is why I was so torn up about it a few days ago (see the Interlude from 12.11.25) But thats the thing... relationships end and thats just the way it goes... nothing is permanent... I am therefore going to remove the cold approach counter from the bottom of the tracker. I have enough things to work on here anyways, progress in life occurs with baby steps, it has to be that way, otherwise we would freak out because there is too much change. The last thing to address is that I want to become highly conscious so that I can have the biggest impact that I possibly can on the human race. That is what makes me tick, impact, I want impact, I want to make a profound impact on LOTS of people. This is what grounds me and makes me non-needy. My deepest goals are way above one girl way way wayyyyyy above. That is what you want. I want to reach LOC 1,000 and I will... I want to understand the Truth of reality, I want to understand what it takes to get there... I want to understand what death is... I want to understand and feel the "no-thought" state, I want to abide in the "Field of Love." And then I will help my students reach the states of consciousness that I have reached... Maybe this will manifest itself into me writing a bunch of books.... or starting a meditation center... or both... we will see... I have many years left in this life to make all of my dreams and desires come true. 12.14.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 4 Brush teeth streak: 46 Floss streak: 8 Shower streak: 17 Meditation streak: 10 Push ups / pull ups streak: 8 Funniness affirmations streak: 8 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 8 Brush teeth streak: 11 Wash face streak: 11 No electronics before bed streak: 5 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 17 No ejaculation streak: 17 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 2 No alcohol streak: 44 No smoking weed streak: 0 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: done Back: done

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #43 12.13.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 3 Brush teeth streak: 45 Floss streak: 7 Shower streak: 16 Meditation streak: 9 Push ups / pull ups streak: 7 Funniness affirmations streak: 7 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 7 Brush teeth streak: 10 Wash face streak: 10 No electronics before bed streak: 4 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 16 No ejaculation streak: 16 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 43 No smoking weed streak: 9 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #42 One thing that I have been noticing as a sign of growth within myself is that I genuinely try to be a loving person in all situations. Of course, I am not perfect, I do get triggered, especially when I feel like someone is treating me unfairly. But in general I try my damnedest to love the person across from me, no matter who it is. 12.12.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 2 Brush teeth streak: 44 Floss streak: 6 Shower streak: 15 Meditation streak: 8 Push ups / pull ups streak: 6 Funniness affirmations streak: 6 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 6 Brush teeth streak: 9 Wash face streak: 9 No electronics before bed streak: 3 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 15 No ejaculation streak: 15 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 (130g - just missed it) No alcohol streak: 42 No smoking weed streak: 8 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #41 Being a human is a very intimate thing. We develop connections and attachments with each other. These connections come and go. They are always there in an Absolute sense as we are all One, but as a finite being, things die, relationships die, connections die. And we have to experience this loss. This is a hard pill to swallow. I don't want to lose these things. It makes me so sad. Part of me wants to not be attached to anything so that I don't feel the hurt of losing it. But I know thats no way to live. In that way, I would be living out of fear and not out of love. Here are some examples of songs that so beautifully illustrate this Truth of life as a human being: And I thank God every day for the girl he sent my way But I know the things he gives me he can take away And I hold you every night and thats a feeling I want to get used to But theres no man as terrified as the man who stand to lose you Oh, I hope I don't lose you Please stay, I want you, I need you, oh, God Don't take these beautiful things that I've got The artist here has an intuitive sense that things do pass, nothing is permanent and he is pleading with God to allow for things to stay the same. He is "terrified" of losing what he has. But the reality is that everything passes, nothing is permanent. Consciousness is always changing, it is never constant. Here is another example: They say you don't look, they say you don't look Cause it'll drive you mad, and if it drives you mad Drives you mad, it'll proably pass And if it drives you made, and if it drives you mad It'll probably pass Same thing, the artist understands that if something in life drives you crazy with love, then it will pass, one way or another. This doesn't just mean that the relationship will definitely end because relationships can last an entire lifetime, but the current relationship, how the two act around each other and what they do with each other, the dynamic of the relationship, that will end... because things are forever changing, they are never constant. Another Truth about reality is when one thing ends, another thing begins, just like the seasons. Every year, we have spring, winter, summer, fall. Now, if you could control all the seasons, would you keep one season constant throughout the year or would you allow it to die so that another can be born? Here is a song that illustrates this: If you can control all the seasons Would you recycle them list re-runs Or leave 'em freedom? What are your reasons? Spring, winter, summer, fall It would be very beneficial for me to go through Leo's video on Understanding Impermanence so that I can get a better grasp on what I am dealing with here. Again, my goal in this life is to surrender myself to Truth. And wherever that takes me is where I am headed. 12.11.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 1 Brush teeth streak: 43 Floss streak: 5 Shower streak: 14 Meditation streak: 7 Push ups / pull ups streak: 5 Funniness affirmations streak: 5 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 5 Brush teeth streak: 8 Wash face streak: 8 No electronics before bed streak: 2 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 14 No ejaculation streak: 14 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 41 No smoking weed streak: 7 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Interlude: Profound Experience: Intuiting the Future I have been going through something rather profound recently. I have come to the realization that I am going to become intimate with my dance partner. However, I know that it will not last forever. It has to end. But at the same time, it has to begin. I just know it. This isn't mental masturbation, I am tapping into something outside of myself. This is a very profound experience. I felt the exact same way about my ex girlfriend. About 5 months into it maybe even 3 months into it, I knew that it was going to end. I KNEW that I would outgrow her. And then eventually, it happened. I intuited this. These are not thoughts. This is a gut feeling. I had a dance practice with her this morning and I was feeling some sort of negative emotions but I couldn't pinpoint what it was, it felt like a feeling of lack, a yearning, a desire that was not being met. I couldn't focus while being taught. At first, I thought that I was just anxious that I was bad at dancing and not able to do the patterns that were being asked of me. Afterwards, she took me to get a bagel to make me feel better. I left to go to work at my studio in a funky mindset but still not sure why, again I thought I was just down because of how the coaching went. When I get to my studio, we do some dance training and have a meeting and I don't feel any better. I tell my boss that I had a rough morning and ask her if I can head to the gym so that I can clear my mind. She agrees and I drive away from the studio. I play a couple of songs that speak to me in the moment, “Feel it in the Air” and “Fall for You.” It then dawns on me why I am in such a funk. I come to the realization that I am going to become romantic with my dance partner but I know for a fact that it is going to have to end. It will not last forever. I'm not just thinking this, I am intuiting it. I know this without a doubt in my mind. There is no way out of it. This absolutely breaks my heart because I AM GOING TO hurt her. Remember, this is not mental masturbation, this is intuition, this is Truth, which is hard to explain without experiencing it. I drove around crying for about 10 minutes. The cool thing about this is that I am not crying out of self pity anymore. I am crying for others. This is a massive paradigm shift that should not be overlooked.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #40 I seem to have gotten back on the right track in terms of the habits. I have also had some successes in terms of women. I have a date set up for tomorrow with that girl that came up to me at the gym. There also seems to be a budding romance with my dance partner; two nights ago, we stayed at her studio until 2 am, rough housing with each other and making Tik Tok vidoes. I actually really like her. The problem with this is that I had a big goal of hitting on 1,000 women and having sex with 50. If I have a romantic relationship with her, this would have to be put on hold as I DO NOT want to do that to her. Sometimes goals come and go. One thing that I would like to do with her is start a YouTube channel in which we vlog about life as a ballroom dancer. 12.10.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0 Brush teeth streak: 42 Floss streak: 4 Shower streak: 13 Meditation streak: 6 Push ups / pull ups streak: 4 Funniness affirmations streak: 4 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 4 Brush teeth streak: 7 Wash face streak: 7 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 13 No ejaculation streak: 13 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 40 No smoking weed streak: 6 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/24 Legs: Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #39 12.9.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 4 Brush teeth streak: 41 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 12 Meditation streak: 5 Push ups / pull ups streak: 3 Funniness affirmations streak: 3 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 3 Brush teeth streak: 6 Wash face streak: 6 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 12 No ejaculation streak: 12 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 39 No smoking weed streak: 5 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/24 Legs: Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #38 12.8.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 3 Brush teeth streak: 40 Floss streak: 2 Shower streak: 11 Meditation streak: 4 Push ups / pull ups streak: 2 Funniness affirmations streak: 2 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 2 Brush teeth streak: 5 Wash face streak: 5 No electronics before bed streak: 2 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 11 No ejaculation streak: 11 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 2 No alcohol streak: 38 No smoking weed streak: 4 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/24 Legs: Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #37 12.7.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 2 Brush teeth streak: 39 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 10 Meditation streak: 3 Push ups / pull ups streak: 1 Funniness affirmations streak: 1 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 1 Brush teeth streak: 4 Wash face streak: 4 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 10 No ejaculation streak: 10 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 37 No smoking weed streak: 3 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/24 Legs: Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #36 12.6.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0 Brush teeth streak: 37 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 8 Meditation streak: 1 Push ups / pull ups streak: 1 Funniness affirmations streak: 3 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 1 Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 2 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 8 No ejaculation streak: 8 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 35 No smoking weed streak: 1 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 Legs: Done Chest: Back: Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Interlude: I am Grateful post: December 6th, 2025 I'd like to take a moment to post about this beautiful moment that I'm having right now. I am at the airport heading to Washington DC for a dance competition. I am hanging out with a beautiful young woman that I will be competing with and with whom I've been practicing with for the past year; honing my skills, developing career capital, developing chemistry and a connection. Three years ago on this date, I was traveling back home for Christmas from a cross country road trip that I had just went on. At that time, I was lost, I had no direction, no girlfriend, and still hadn't had sex. Two years ago on this date, I had just gotten this dancing job, and I was working as a host at a restaurant. I had been "heart broken" three times because I liked 3 different girls, and it didn't work out with any of them. This was tough for me, but at the same time I was finally putting myself out there. One year ago on this date, I had just broken up with my girlfriend, we dated for 8 months. This was the first relationship that I had taken seriously and it is also the first time I had sex. I was finally able to get in touch with my sexual energy while with another human being and allow myself to be vulnerable with her. Ultimately, I ended things because I realized that I wanted to take this dancing job more seriously and I wanted to have sex with more people. Since then, I have become successful as a dance instructor with about 15 students, I am surviving off of income from just dancing, I've had sex with a second person, and I have started to make some MASSIVE goals for myself that I am very confident that I will actualize in my life. By this time next year, I will have won a dance competition, I started a YouTube channel, and I have $10,000 in my bank account, and have gained 10 pounds of muscle.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #36 Its difficult to be proud of what I have done with my habit tracker over the past week. I have seen my motivation completely waver at a time where I need it the most. I am going to a dance competition today actually and I am going into it in a playful mood, but I want to be disciplined. How am I going to win a dance competition or have sex with 50 women or run a dance studio or have $100,000 in my bank account if I can't even wake up at the same time for 30 days straight, or meditate every day for 30 days straight. The thing is is that I am really trying. I mean, I'm holding myself accountable and thats all I can really do. I am doing THE BEST that I can with the skills that I have actualized thus far in my life. And I will figure all of this out and become a world champion dancer that can seduce women with ease, one that is extremely loving and affectionate but can also handle business with assertiveness and right action. I am the man that gets shit done. I get shit done. As a reminder, I am going to list out all of my massive goals again. I should probably make a habit of doing this on a daily basis: Start a Youtube Channel and get 1 million subscribers Post video about body transformation Post a day in the life vlog, talking about my morning routine Post vlogs of dance partner and I traveling and dancing Post vlogs of me hitting on women Post analysis videos of me hitting on women Donate $100,000 to charity Pay off debts by March 2026 Save $10,000 by the end of 2026 Save $30,000 by the end of 2027 Save $50,000 by the end of 2028 Become a world champion ballroom dancer Enter Washington DC Dance O Rama in 2025 Enter Seattle Dance O Rama in 2026 Eneter Texas Dance O Rama in 2026 Win at Rhythm in Boston Dance O Rama 2026 Enter in the "Rising Stars" category at TOC September 2026 Enter in the "Open" category at Washington DC Dance O Rama in 2026 Have a nice home with a pool and outdoor bar Pay off debts by March 2026 Have $10,000 in savings account by the end of 2026 Have $30,000 in savings account by end of 2027 Have $50,000 in savings account by end of 2028 Give your mom and dad money that they can buy a bigger house with. I want the world for them and I am going to make their old age as painless and enjoyable as I possibly can. Have $50,000 in savings account by end of 2028 Have $200,000 in savings account by end of 2030 Have $1,000,000 in Savings account by end of 2032 Have sex with over 50 women ( I like this right here, the end result is having sex. That is the genuine reason that I am approaching all of these women. This will also help with Approach and hit on 1 women this week Approach and hit on 10 women by by the end of the month Approach and hit on 100 women by the end of March 2026 Approach and hit on 1,000 women by the end of 2026 Weigh 160 pounds with six pack abs within 2 years Gain 10 pounds of muscle in 2026 Gain 10 pounds of muscle in 2027 Last for an hour while being inside someoneHave a full body orgasm Practice stimulating yourself with out porn Practice raising the energy up your spine Play around with the raising of energy during meditation sessions Abide in the “Field of Love” for a year straight Finish reading “Field of Love” Try to drop the “I-thought” back down to the Heart as much as possible Last 5 minutes in the “Field of Love” Last an hour in the “Field of Love” Last a day in the “Field of Love” Last a week in the “Field of Love” Last a month in the “Field of Love” Reach LOC 1,000 Finish reading the book 1,000 Reach LOC 500 by March 2026 Reach LOC 600 by the end of 2026 Reach LOC 700 by March 2027 Reach LOC 800 by the end of 2027 Reach LOC 900 by March 2028 Reach LOC 1,000 by the end of 2028 Own an Arthur Murray dance studio Be a Front Department manager by January 2028 Run an Arthur Murray dance studio by January 2029 Own my own Arthur Murray dance studio by January 2030 12.5.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0 Brush teeth streak: 36 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 7 Meditation streak: 0 Push ups / pull ups streak: 0 Funniness affirmations streak: 2 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 7 No ejaculation streak: 7 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 34 No smoking weed streak: 0 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 Legs: Done Chest: Back: Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0 This song really touches my heart. Most people probably relate this song to finding a person that is their soul mate, but to me, it reminds me of finding dance as my life purpose: "We were never strangers, you were out there all along" "When I'm around you, I come alive. I want to give you all I've got" "Promise that you'll hold me close, don't let me go" "Take my heart, don't break it" "You and I stargazing. Its a twilights zone"

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #35 Before I address the habit tracker, I would like to point out a few noticeable improvements in my life over the past month, since I've started this journey. My emotional state is SIGNIFICANTLY better. I am accessing moods that are joyful and peaceful and filled with love that I have not accessed before. I would contribute this to the growing accountability through this journal and reading books such as The Field of Love and What am I? Meditation I have managed to become significantly less needy with women. As soon as I set the goal to have sex with 50 women and approach 1,000, all of a sudden, the need for the women that are already in my life to desire me almost completely disintegrated... Because my vision is much, much, much higher than any one girl. That has been the key for me. And non-neediness is VERY attractive and good for your mental health, nice job. As you can see, my tracker has taken a hit recently and I am not prioritizing hitting these habits. And you know what, I think it's precisely because I'm doing so much better and seeing progress that I stop feeling inspired to keep the habits going... Even though the habits are exactly what has allowed me to embrace this attractive non neediness and to access super joyous and peaceful moods. DO NOT allow yourself to coast, you are far from done. Let's get a move on and keep pushing towards your goals. 12.4.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0 Brush teeth streak: 35 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 6 Meditation streak: 0 Push ups / pull ups streak: 0 Funniness affirmations streak: 1 ,Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 6 No ejaculation streak: 6 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 33 No smoking weed streak: 0 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 Legs: Done Chest: Back: Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #34 What a weird day yesterday. I woke up on time, did all of my morning routine except push ups and pull ups and then went to dance training. Training went fine, then I went to the gym to get my push ups and pull ups in, that went well, I got a nice video of myself posing in the mirror, which will go in my body transformation YouTube video. I then went back to work and I taught a really good lesson for one of my students. It feels so good when I teach well. Then I taught with a co worker of mine, we are doing a Christmas themed solo and I started to feel a little bit off on that lesson. Then, my mood started to go downhill, it felt like I didn't care about anything and my body kept becoming tense, I could not relax into the mind and body and I didn't have the drive to interact with anybody except my work bestie. I tried to release this emotion but I couldn't. I started to feel doubt in myself, "how can I accomplish all of these goals if my mood is like this..." "Why are my lessons so low this week, Im never going to become successful here," so many gunky and gross thoughts running through my head... I had one last lesson with a long time student in which I shared a plan for her so that we can get her ready for an upcoming dance event in January. I also shared a plan to get her to go to what's called a "dance o rama" on which she is competing at the highest level, this will be in May of this upcoming year in Texas. This is the direction that I want to take my career, I want serious students that want to be competitive ballroom dancers. This will make me good money and also push them to grow to the absolute highest peak of their potential. I want to compliment this woman more, she needs encouragement, let's light up her world every chance you get. Look at the positives when you are dancing with her, not the negatives. To add another layer to this weird day, my dance partner texted me and asked me to call her at around 4:30 "when I get a chance." She's never said that before, I call her later but she doesn't pick up. Then she texts me and says that she's "at urgent care." I try calling her again but she doesn't pick up. She's been having pain in her gums, I think that they're inflamed, but I can't really get details out of her, she doesn't want to talk about it. For the past week, when I meet her for dance practice, her head is always down at first, being super quiet and tells me that she's not doing well. She's also always super insecure about how she looks, always looking at herself in the mirror even though she genuinely looks beautiful every day that I see her, no matter what her state is. Anyways, once she starts dancing, she is fine, she is laughing and I can't tell that she's in pain anymore. I know for a fact that I brighten her day up, which is a pretty cool feeling. Anyways, I texted her this morning to ask how she is feeling, she hasn't responded yet. We have a dance competition in Washington DC this weekend so I do feel for her and I genuinely care about her well being but this is not a good time for all of these ailments, and the things is I don't even understand what she's going through because she doesn't open up about it. She's clearly in pain and not in a good head space... Should we just not go to DC... I don't know maybe. I just have to talk to her. I also do have to think about the possibility that she may have feelings for me, which is stirring up emotions that she is unable to handle and these bottled up emotions are transforming into physical pain and self sabotage. I have feelings for her as well by the way, how could I not, she is amazing and beautiful and funnynand sexy ... but I also have a massive goal of hitting on thousands of women and having sex with over 50 so developing intimacy with her right now doesn't really matter to me, but at the same time I do genuinely love and care about her as a person. If I ended up marrying her in the end, that would be a very cool ending to my love story, but I can't be anyone's boyfriend until at least the end of next year, as I am very excited to finally fulfill on this "hoe phase" of my life. It's just strange that these ailments are all coming right before a big competition and I just wish I understood it better. I hope she's doing okay. Anyways, towards the end of the day, my mood is completely shifted, I have very low energy and no level of authentic expression, I felt like a half dead person. This continued into after work where we all had a drink for our co workers birthday ( my drink was non alcoholic of course.) I couldn't wait to leave as I felt so in authentic and unsatisfied. I finally get to go home, I smoke a joint on the way home, which I am trying to stop doing. I laid in bed high as fuck, my mind is racing with thoughts, which I felt like I had very little control over. I finally go to bed and I wake up the next morning at 7:30, I snooze my alarm and end up waking up at 9 am and that brings us to right now, 10:16 am on 12.4.25. I want to take this morning to figure out my routines and disciplines and goals for TOMORROW and the future. I am not going to be able to save today until I can get a handle on everything moving forward as this whole thing is a long term process. I also have dance practice at 12 with my dance partner, although she is not answering me so maybe it will be canceled, (that would be great honestly, I want to figure some things out.) Okay, so there are a few things that are going on. The first is that I have a good handle on my long term goals, which is awesome! This really helps on two accounts, it gives me a direction for my life, which makes petty annoyances obsolete because all of this work is being done for a higher vision, I don't care so much about what someone thinks about me or some crappy emotional state.. so that is awesome.. however, what comes with these massive goals is self doubt, as fear arrives through my thoughts with tenacity. It is difficult to shift the mind set when the mind has so much fear and doubt in itself. This is difficult, I'd love to find an exercise to shift that narrative in my mind in the moment that it's happening. I have a lot more that I'd like to journal about but I do have to get going as I guess my dance partner is doing okay and we are going to practice. The goal for today is to set myself up to achieve my goals in the FUTURE. Don't worry so much about the goals that you have for today, this is a long term project, just do your best. 12.3.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 13 Brush teeth streak: 34 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 5 Meditation streak: 4 Push ups / pull ups streak: 3 Funniness affirmations streak: 0 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Brush teeth streak: 4 Wash face streak: 4 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 5 No ejaculation streak: 5 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 6 No alcohol streak: 32 No smoking weed streak: 0 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 Legs: Done Chest: Back: Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #33 I have a new rule for myself which is to not use my phone while I am doing my morning routine. No phone whatsoever, even through meditation, I am at a point in my awareness of time that I can just sit there for roughly 20-30 minutes, and I have enough flexibility in my schedule to accommodate if I go over the time. The reason that I am going no phone is because I tend to scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll while I am supposed to be "eating frogs" every morning. "Eating frogs" is a term used in a book by Brian Tracy called "Eat that Frog" in which he states that you should eat your biggest and ugliest frogs first, which just means whatever is most important for you and would cause you the biggest consequences if you don't finish them ... That is why I start my day off with meditation and a work out and showering and funniness affirmations, I am getting these things out of the way right off the bat. I actually want to add some sort of phone restriction for myself that I track, I'm just not sure what that should be just yet. I also have a plan to stop smoking weed, but I have one joint left in my possession. We are going out after work for one my colleagues birthdays. I am going to ask my buddy if he wants to smoke the joint with me. These joint sessions are always great bonding experiences for our friendship so I am going to do that as my last day and then I will stop smoking, which is what I truly want. The last thing I want to talk about is my girl plans. I am texting this one girl, I am going to try to go out salsa dancing with her on Thursday night. Then I will ask her to get coffee or tea with me on Saturday morning, whether she comes out on Thursday or not. Then, I will hit on somebody while at the airport on Saturday. My dance partner and I are going to be competing in Washington D.C. that day, I am so excited! Heres a reminder of your goals for this month: Goals for the month of December: Cold approach 10 women by December 31st 2025 Meditate 30 days straight Wake up at 7:30 am 30 days straight Work out (push ups and pull ups) 30 days straight 20 lessons / week Read 3 books (Field of Love (pg. 56/200), Eat that Frog! (halfway through), 1,000 (pg. 130/700) 12.2.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 12 Brush teeth streak: 33 Floss streak: 2 Shower streak: 4 Meditation streak: 3 Push ups / pull ups streak: 2 Funniness affirmations streak: 4 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 4 Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 3 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 4 No ejaculation streak: 4 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 5 No alcohol streak: 31 No smoking weed streak: 0 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 Legs: Done Chest: Back Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #32 12.1.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 11 Brush teeth streak: 32 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 3 Meditation streak: 2 Push ups / pull ups streak: 1 Funniness affirmations streak: 3 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 3 Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 3 No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 4 No alcohol streak: 30 No smoking weed streak: 0 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 ( I missed my back exercise again this week, thats 2 weeks in a row 2/3 though) Legs: Done Chest: Back Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0 Note: I did not cold approach anyone yet, but a girl actually hit on me at the gym. I got her number and I've been texting her. This is a nice start to this journey.