Spiritual Warrior

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #9 - Wed Apr 26 '23 - 11:45 AM * Lower self logs on * Higher self: *Looks up from what he is doing* Whats up? Lower self: I need help. I am overwhelmed. Higher self: ... Well whats going on? Lower self: I have all of these things at my dads house that I am trying to sell. Its all in the basement. But I also don't want to come over here anymore, I want to be independent. This is a high value for me. Higher self: I thought you had a storage locker? Lower self: I do, but there isn't enough room in it. Its too small. I can't move around in there and organize things. I never have any idea where anything is. Higher self: Okay.. Well you could buy a new one, a bigger one... Lower self: No, I don't want to do that. Higher self: Why don't you organize everything here. Wrap it up into boxes, Have it all labeled so that you know EXACTLY where everything is, and put it into your car. When you get to the storage locker, you are going to check out whats in the storage locker. Organize that. When you have a good grasp on whats in there and where everything is, then you can start to fill it with the new stuff that you are bringing from your dads house. Its also important to have everything in boxes. You don't want anything that is hanging around solo. Lower self: How do I organize things? Higher self: A-L books in one box. M-Z books in another box. LABEL them. DVDs in another box. CDs in another. Electronics in another. Video game consoles in another. Label everything. Organization. Purses that you are trying to sell in another. Lower self: Okay, I like it. I'd also like to get that basement looking nicer, I want to get the bed out of there and into that upstairs bedroom. Do you think that it will fit? Higher self: I don't know dude! Use a tape measure, come on, you can do that yourself. Lower self: Alright, sounds good. I'll talk to you later. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Narrator note: I realize that this is not what autolysis is supposed to look like. What this is doing is getting the gunk out of my life. I have so many belongings. It fogs up my head. I feel as though I cannot do real spiritual work until I get my life minimized. The clutter in my life is cluttering up my mind. Same with the letters that I am writing to people offline and in a previous journal entry. This is decluttering the gunk that I have been harboring with these people. These are attachments. Attachments need to go in order for me to find truth. I still want attachments in my life. For example, I want to still be attached to my friends and family, or maybe I'll reach a point where I want to cut those attachments too. But at the very least, I want to cut the attachments with the people that really don't play a big role in my life. Its ridiculous to waste so much mental energy on these people. That is what the letters are for. Keep going, you are on the right track.

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #8 - Wed Apr 26 '23 - 8:33 AM Lower self: Hey higher self, I was actually hoping to talk to God today if you don't mind. You want to go grab him for me? Tell him I'm trying to to chop it up. Higher self: Yeah.. alright. he might be busy, like on a conference call or something. Sit tight. Lower self: Tell him its important. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God: Hello there lower self. What can I do ya for? Lower self: Well God... I'm getting a little frustrated with you. I feel like you're not really giving me the guidance that I need from you. God: You need guidance, huh? What do you need it from me for? Lower self: Well, because life is very difficult, and... you created it. So you should help me out. God: Hmmmm... I created this, huh? I guess I hadn't thought of that. Lower self: Okay.... Well, anyways.. I just feel like sometimes I can feel your presence, but lately I just haven't felt anything from you. And it makes me feel all alone. As if I'm the only person on Earth. And I don't know what to do or where to go. I'm overwhelmed and stressed out with the possibilities. And I'm scared of the future, of what will come about in my life. God: It seems like you like to do a lot of blaming in your life. Lower self: Yeah... I think I do. Its kind of my thing. And I've also noticed that I really enjoy when people feel bad for me. It gives me satisfaction for some reason. But deep down I know that it doesn't really do any good. It doesn't help me go further on my path. I just feel like I really need some guidance. From a wise person. And if thats not going to be you because I just can't seem to create a real communication bridge between us, then I want a wise guru thats going to teach me how to meditate, and that I can just turn to for guidance. I need guidance. I can't do this shit alone. It's too hard. God: Why do you think its so difficult for you? Is this something that you also get satisfaction from? Maybe its that life has to be difficult for you in order for people to feel bad for you. Those two things need to go together, right? If everything is all peachy, then what would people feel bad for you for? Lower self: Wow... thats true. Okay.. Yeah I mean you got me there. Thats a good insight. Thanks. But what do I do about it? That is how I've always lived my life. God: Well... the way I see it. Change is always possible. You just have to ask for it. Lower self: Okay... I understand. Thank you. God: Help will always be given to people that ask. I hope I speak to you soon, and good luck.

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #7 - Tue Apr 25 '23 - 12:06 PM Lower self: Good afternoon. Higher self: Good afternoon. What would you like to talk about today? Lower self: I am Ben. Higher self: Nope, thats a label. Lower self: I have a family. Higher self: Nope, thats a picture in your head. Lower self: My parents gave birth to me. Higher self: Nope, thats a story that you made up in your head. Lower self: But... These things are true, I mean they happened, some things did happen. 9/11 happened. The earth is a floating ball of mass in the solar system. Higher self: Nope, these are stories in your head. Lower self: Hmmm... okay. Then what is true? Everything that I am seeing and hearing in this very moment. That is what is true. Higher self: Is it? Lower self: I am what I see, hear, smell, taste, I am my senses. I am whatever is in my field of awareness. Higher self: Now we're getting somewhere.. Lower self: I am not a real entity, I am whatever I am experiencing, I am whatever I am perceiving. Higher self:Does that mean that you are the thoughts that are coming into your head right now? Lower self: I thought that I was not? I am this present moment. Thats it. Thats all there really is. From my vantage point. Higher self: And who's vantage point is that? Lower self: Ben's. I mean I can only experience what he is experiencing. I cannot experience what my friends and family experience. Im not seeing what Joe is seeing right now. Thats not my reality. Higher self: But I thought that the only thing that is true is the present moment. But now you are saying that there needs to be a person in order for the present moment, present awareness to be true. That means the present moment needs to be perceived by someone or something in order for it to be true. Surely the present moment would still exist even if there was no physical entity to experience it. Lower self: Yeah... thats true. But how could I possibly go beyond the physical body, it is all that I have ever used to experience life. *Lower self takes a moment to think this through* Higher self: What is a thought? Lower self: From my vantage point. A thought is a voice that is inside of my head. Actually its not necessarily in my head. It doesn't really seem to be coming from anywhere. It feels like its coming from my head though. And it just keeps talking and talking and talking. Its even capable of creating pictures. Visuals. Thats pretty amazing. Higher self: Is a thought true? Lower self: Oh god no. Its almost never true. My head is filled with stupid ideas and beliefs, worry thoughts about something I said 10 years back, silly visions of what my future could look like. Its actually quite annoying. I wish that I could shut it off. Higher self: Can you shut it off? Lower self: Yeah probably. With years of meditation. Higher self: What if I told you that you could shut it off right now? Lower self: Okay, how? Higher self: Just try it. Lower self: Okay... fine. *Straightens up in his seat* Higher self: Just focus on your breathing. *3 minutes go by* Lower self: I tried to focus on my breathing, but thoughts started to roll in. Many of them were survival based. For example, I started to think that I need to sell more things on eBay, in order to make money. I thought of the fact that USPS hasn't given me my refund yet. I thought about taking a sip out of my milk next to me. These thoughts are constantly rolling in. They are necessary, or at least I feel like they are necessary because if I never thought anything in my entire life, I would just sit here and die. I need to think in order to live. I need to think in order to think about any potential dangers that will come about in my life. I need to think in order to make informed decisions about things. This is all good. Good for my survival. And I do want to survive. I'm not ready just yet to move onto the other side. I'm scared. And theres much that I would like to experience here on Earth first. Higher self: So thoughts are not truth? But the present moment is? Lower self: I don't know... sure?... I guess not because the present moment is filled with thoughts. But I do think that there is something good to come out of quieting the mind down. I don't know if it will lead to truth-realization, but I intuit that it will lead to something good. Higher self: Fair enough. Lower self: Alright, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later.

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #6 - Mon Apr 24 '23 - 8:15 AM Lower self: Hi.. I actually wish that I didn't post that entry yesterday. I wanted this to be enjoyable to read, and no one wants to hear some kid complain about all of the stupid things that hurt him in high school. It also just felt weird sharing such personal things online. I'm not sure if I liked it or want to do it again. Higher self: Well.. thats fine. Remember, you can always hide the post if you really don't want it up here. Also, keep in mind that someone may benefit from seeing what it looks like for an ego to be completely unhinged. Lower self: Yeah thats true, it is very interesting to see the vulgarities and hatred that my ego is capable of. I always show off this nice guy facade, but deep down I am hurt and want to lash out and say fuck you to everyone. It is very interesting. I guess I am fake in a way. I also would like to say that I still think that writing these letters is important and beneficial, I just don't want to do it publicly. An offline journal would suffice for that. Higher self: Fair enough. Now lets get back to this truth-realization work. What do you think is true? Lower self: Since we're on the topic of ego, lets talk about that for a moment. My ego. Ben's ego. Higher self: What is an ego? Lower self: An ego is a collection of thoughts and beliefs that I have made up about myself. It is who I am. It is the voice inside of my brain. So it is the thoughts in my head. It is me, everything I believe about MYself. Me. Me. Me. That is ego. The ego is capable and is run by dualistic thinking, that thing over there is good, this thing over here is bad. The ego is emotionally driven, always chasing good emotions, and running away from bad emotions. The ego is grounded in separateness. I am separate from the universe, therefore I need to protect myself from all of the things that could hurt me outside of myself. The ego is terrified of dying. TERRIFIED. It doesn't want to die, and it is aware of when I am trying to kill off aspects of it. It is going to fight me tooth and nail to try to stay alive. Because everything wants to survive. That is how the universe has been set up. It is fear-based. Everything in the universe is fear-based because it is afraid of dying. Everything. Even an aspect of myself, like I am trying to give up porn. This is killing that aspect of myself, the porn watching aspect. And my ego doesn't want to give that up. It is comfortable being the porn-watcher. It makes it so that I don't have to hit on pretty girls. That would be scary because I could get rejected and that wouldn't be a good look for my ego. Maybe because I have a view of myself as being 'too cool' for girls and dating. I don't want to give that up either. It makes up who I am. This is why change is so difficult. Jesus this is depressing. This means that ANY change that I go through is going to be extremely painful. Because any change is a killing off of a part of myself so that there is room for another part of myself to blossom. For example, if I want to get a girlfriend, then I am going to have to kill off the single me that is independent and gets to do and go wherever he wants. This will be painful. It will be painful to give this thing up. It is all that I am used to, and I am comfortable playing that role. It has gotten me to survive so far, why would I want to change it. But I do want to change. I want to become enlightened. I want to get a girlfriend. I want to be a millionaire. We want to change. We really do. Higher self: You want change, huh? Lower self: Yes, I do. Higher self: How hard are you willing to work for it? How much pain are you willing to endure? Lower self: I don't know... If I am being totally honest, I don't like pain. I like staying in my comfort zone. Even this enlightenment stuff. Now that I think about it, if pain comes with change, and its like a 1 to 1 trade-off, then I don't think I'm enduring enough pain for me to be making real headway. I'm always reading books on enlightenment and yeah I'm sure its useful, but that is so easy to just sit on your ass and read. Its like I am using it as a distraction from really doing the work. And with real work, comes real pain. Damn... that is depressing, I thought I was making progress! Higher self: Well... I'm sure you are. But its up to you how quickly you want to progress. Ideally, you want to find the sweet spot, in which you are enduring just enough pain so that you are growing as a human being, but not too much so that you won't to go home and cry in the corner in a fetal position. Always push on that fear envelope, just a little bit, just a little bit.... Until the envelope bursts open. Lower self: What happens when the envolope bursts open? Higher self: You are going to have to find that out for yourself. Lower self: I knew you were going to say that. Higher self: Of course you did, I am you! Lower self: Well.. you're arrogant. Higher self: And you're a scared little bitch. Lower self: Lol. Yeah you got me there. Well then.. Today I am going to do some difficult things. And don't try and stop me. Higher self: You do you man, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

@UpperMaster Hi - thanks for starting this thread. It is a great book, I've read it once. To me, yeah the "edge" is a comfort zone thing or maybe even a fear thing. We should always be trying to peel back the edge of this fear envelope just a little bit... just a little bit... This is how you grow as a man.. But you don't want to rip the envelope open.. this could cause you to fall flat on your face and then hide in the corner of your room for a while. You don't want that. Peel the envelope back slowly. Always at your edge, pushing yourself, just a little bit.. each and every day.. each and every moment. You could also relate it to having sex too... As a man you want to get to just the edge of ejaculation.. then breathe the sexual energy away from the genitals, or pull out if you have to... then get back to your edge and do the same thing again. If you do this 10, 12 times, the orgasm will be that much better. Cheers.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #4 - Sat Apr 22 '23 - 8:52 AM Lower self: Hello.. How are you today? Higher self: Good.. How are you? Lower self: I'm doing alright.. Higher self: What are you thinking thats true today? Lower self: I think that emotions are true. Emotions are sensations that course through my own body. And each emotion has a distinct flavor to it. For example, when I am angry, my breathing gets shallow and I can feel tightness in my chest. When I am feeling content, I feel very light but almost heavy at the same time, in which I don't feel like getting up or moving a muscle. When I am feeling eager or 'icy' I have thoughts racing through my head of me doing cool things. Each emotion is a distinct thing. Higher self: Okay.. I don't recall ever establishing that this body that you are referring to is your own. Lower self: This body is my own. I control it. I experience the emotions that course through this body, Ben's body. Higher self: Okay.. You experience the emotions that course through that body.. Lower self: Yeah 'I' do. I experience the anger, I experience the pain, I experience the contentment, I experience the embarrassment. Higher self: You do you say.. and what is you? Lower self: I... I am... the body? The mind? Nothingness? Higher self: Nothingness? Where did you get that one from? Lower self: I heard it from somewhere. Higher self: What do you think it means? What would be the direct experience of nothingness? Lower self: A direct experience of nothingness.. I would bet that the thoughts in my head would need to cease, then I could experience nothingness. Higher self: Meditation would help with this. Lower self: I agree. Lower self: Ooooooh.. I've got a good one.. I exist. Higher self: You exist, huh? What is existence? Lower self: Existence.. damn that is a hard one. Higher self: Thats what she said Lower self: *Smiles reluctantly* Dude.. You're supposed to be the mature one. Higher self: I couldn't help myself. *Straightens up* Please continue. Lower self: Existence is... I don't know... Its just when something is there, it is just there.. If it wasn't there then it would not exist, and it would just be empty air. Although empty air still needs to exist. Everything exists.. Everything is existence. Higher self: Is anything not existence? Lower self: Well, anything that is not existence does not exist and therefore I would have no awareness of it, so no I can't name anything that doesn't exist because if I possibly could name it, then that means that it would exist. Higher self: Very good. Lower self: Yeah, thanks.. But I feel like I didn't get anywhere. Higher self: When something dies, does it no longer exist? Lower self: Yeah, I think so. I mean the body remains on the earth, but the consciousness part of the body no longer exists, but then again I am just assuming this because I've never died. But what I do know is that when my Grandma died a few months ago, I can no longer go visit her and talk to her. This body that I would call Grandma is now not responsive, therefore I guess it doesn't exist, or again to put it more accurately since the body is still there, the consciousness of the body ceases to exist upon death.. Yeah thats what I'm going to go with. Higher self: Okay.. The consciousness of a body ceases to exist upon death.. Lower self: Yeah.. *Looks at higher self for validation* Higher self: And what is consciousness? Can you explain this to me? Lower self: Ughhhhh... I was hoping that you wouldn't ask me that. I just heard Leo saying that everything is consciousness, I've also heard of Jed McKenna's theory of everything which is what he calls 'C-Rex' which means consciousness is king, or.. Higher self: Yes... But you need to come up with your own defini... Lower self: I know, I know... Just give me a second. *Long pause* Lower self: I think that consciousness is... well... I don't know.. Can we start off with a definition from Wikipedia or something? Higher self: *Smiles* Sure, one sec... Okay, this is from the Google dictionary: "Consciousness is the state of being awake and aware of one's surroundings." Lower self: Okay, well this definition contradicts what Jed and Leo are saying.. It says that only sentient beings are conscious. For example, a rock is not awake and aware of its own surroundings. Higher self: How do you know that a rock is not aware of its own surroundings? Lower self: Because... Because of science! We know that rocks are not conscious, same with grass and dirt and my Knicks hat... Not conscious! Higher self: Isn't it true that, according to science, the stalks of a plant will grow towards the sun's rays because it will help it photosynthesize and survive? Lower self: Well yeah, but those are plants, plants are living things, they just don't have a brain or lungs or a heart.. So yeah I guess plants are conscious, even according to the Google dic. But a rock cannot possibly be aware of its own surroundings.. Its just a stupid rock. Higher self: Woah.. That rock could be someone's daughter.. Lower self: No it couldn't! They don't reproduce! Higher self: Don't they? Where did they come from? Lower self: Rocks? I don't fucking know! Higher self: Well then try to come up with an answer... What... did they just appear out of thin air? Lower self: Sure.. Yeah lets just go with that so that I can get on with my day... Higher self: *Looks at lower self sternly* You know you're not done yet. Lower self: *Sighs* Rocks... Where did they come from... Well according to science... Higher self: Yeah lets start with that.. because science has all the answers.. Lower self: Okay, you know what? I do have a theory for who the father of rocks are, and it is God. God essentially created rocks, as well as all of the other things on this Earth and in this solar system, and in the entire universe. He created everything, thats what I believe. He created existence! Higher self: You don't think there was existence before God? Lower self: How could there be? God created the world, or the universe, so if he created the universe, then it did not exist before him. Higher self: Yes, but who created God... God does exist, doesn't he? Lower self: Yeah he does... Um.... Well ... Can't he just be, like, all encompassing... Higher self: All encompassing? I'm not sure what that means. Lower self: Yeah me neither... Well maybe this time thing that we think of as true, in which the universe must have began with a big bang.. Maybe the idea of time isn't real and there isn't this linear path in which we need to trace the origins of the universe back to anything. It would be as though time is just an infinite and endless loop. There is no start to it and no end. We humans have come up with this start-and-end-cycle theory because we die.. We as human beings are born and then we die. But maybe the universe doesn't play by those rules. And if the universe is infinite, then there would be no start or end, it just goes on forever and ever. Higher self: Hmmm... Thats an interesting theory that you've got there. Lower self: Yeah.. and it makes way more sense than that big bang bullshit. Look at that, I've outsmarted the scientists. And also... You know how the symbol for infinity is a sideways "8" ... its an infinite, closed loop, there is no start or end to it. Higher self: Alright, I think thats enough for today. Lower self: Yeah.. I'll see you tomorrow!

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #3 - Fri Apr 21 '23 - 8:56 AM Lower self: Hey.. Higher self: Hello.. What would you like to talk about today? Lower self: Nothing. I don't know if I am even doing this right. Higher self: Who cares... You should just trust that something good will come out of all of this. I mean think about it, you've never in your life truly questioned what is true about reality. Just the other day, you were sitting in your car and you started thinking about what colors are, like what are they truly, metaphysically. Sure, you didn't come up with an answer, but you questioned it honestly, with integrity. That is admirable. Also, if you want to get some help, just read the enlightenment trilogy again, there should be examples or guidance from Jed on how to do this work. Remember, he said that it takes roughly 2 years to get something out of this work, and you are on day 3... Lower self: *Smiles sheepishly* Ok.. fine, lets get into it. Higher self: Let me read you a passage from Jed McKenna's book on spiritual autolysis: "Emmerson said no man thoroughly knows the truth until he has contended against it. Having the answer isn't enough, you have to do the math. Arthur tells me he wants a technique, rather he wants the technique. I really only have one technique, and everybody that comes to the house soon learns what it is from other students, but oddly nobody seems to practice it until they receive it from me. I've laid it out many times and tried to put it in the public domain for the use of anyone who wants it, but it has remained strangely proprietary, as if the only way it can work is if it comes directly from me. There's really not much to it, but I guess there's not much to closing your eyes and repeating a mantra or counting your breaths either. "Okay Arthur," I begin. "The technique is called spiritual autolysis. Autolysis means self-digestion, and spiritual means.. hell, I don't really know. Lets say it means that level of self which encompasses the mental, physical, and emotional aspects. Put the two words together and you have a process through which you feed yourself, one piece at a time into the purifying, digestive fires." "May I ask a question?" Arthur asks. "Yes Arthur." "You make spiritual autolysis sound rather unpleasant." "Yes Arthur, its an unpleasant process." "Oh.. I see. Thank you." "You're welcome. The process of spiritual autolysis is basically like a zen koan on steroids. All you really have to do is write the truth." "Write the truth?" "Sounds simple, doesn't it? Yes thats all there is to it. Just write down what you know is true or what you think is true, and keep writing until you've come up with something that is true." "There are 360 degrees in a circle," says Arthur. "Sure," I agree. "Start with something as seemingly indisputable as that, and then start examining the foundation upon which that statement is built and just keep following it down until you've reached bedrock, something solid. True." "There aren't 360 degrees in a circle?" He asks. "The question presupposes that there's a circle." "There's not a circle?" "Maybe. I don't know, is there?" "Well, if I draw a circle.." "I? When did you confirm the existence of an I? Draw? Have you already raced past the part where you confirmed that you are a separate physical being in a physical universe with the ability to perceive, to draw. Have you already confirmed duality as truth." Arthur is thoughtful and silent for several moments. "I guess thats what you mean by following it down. This is very confusing. I don't even know where to start." "It doesn't matter where you start. You could start by using Ramana Maharshi's query "Who am I" or "What is me?" and then just work at it. Just try to say something true and keep at it until you do. Write and rewrite. Make it cleaner and cut out the excess and ego and follow it wherever it leads until you're done." Lower self: Okay, thank you for that. I would like to start with the query who am I. I believe that I am a human being named Ben, and I am also the universe, because the universe encapsulates everything, so I am all things and also this physical body at the same time. Higher self: So... You are that piece of floss that you just used and threw into the garbage? Lower self: Well... theoretically, yes I am that piece of floss. Higher self: Theoretically? What does that mean? Lower self: Theoretically.. You know, its a theory, isn't that what we are doing here? Higher self: I don't know, is that what we are doing here? Lower self: No... Maybe? I don't know. I feel like I should be coming up with theories, but a theory means that it might not be true. A theory is really just a guess or an estimation. Like the big bang theory. This is nothing but a theory, i.e. not a inherent, no questions asked truth. Higher self: Yes.. Exactly. Lower self: Okay, well how do I get past the theory and get to the truth? Higher self: I don't know.. You tell me. Lower self: Well I can at the very least come to the conclusion that if something is a theory, such as my last statement of "I am the universe," Then it cannot possibly be true. If all theories have a chance of not being true, then all theories cannot be truth. Truth with a capital T is something that is absolutely true. And no theory is absolutely true. So how am I going to get at something that is true? Beyond a doubt. Higher self: That is what this work is about. Lower self: Well I don't know where to go from there. All I am doing is theorizing. And you haven't given me anything else to work with. Higher self: *Smiles* Just write something that is true... Its a very simple process. Lower self: Okay... fine. My name is Ben. Higher self: Nope, thats a label. Lower self: There is a vehicle that has four wheels just outside of my apartment. It drives me places.. Or I drive it places and then I try to make money at said places or try to have fun with my friends or engage in obligations that I don't want to fucking do. Higher self: This vehicle is your vehicle? You own it? Lower self: Yes I fucking do. I own it. Ben. Its mine. Higher self: What is a vehicle? Lower self: A vehicle needs to have wheels on it, and it needs to be able to have an engine and drive to other places. Higher self: Is there a difference between who you are and what the vehicle is? Didn't you say earlier that you are the universe? And the vehicle is in the universe, correct? So that means that you are the vehicle? Lower self: Yeah... Theoretically. But the issue is that I have no direct experience of being the vehicle, but I do have a direct experience of being in this body, of perceiving things from these eyeballs, from this point of view. I am looking at a computer screen right now, typing. I am choosing to type. I am moving my hands. I just scratched my face because it was itchy. *Pause* Lower self: What I really don't understand is that everything is a label. God is a label. Infinity is a label. Enlightenment is a label. Spirituality is a label. Death is a label. All of these high, lofty ideals, they are all labels, and all labels are just fiction, correct? So how can I trust anything? Higher self: Are all labels fiction? Lower self: I don't know... I guess maybe not. I mean the label itself is a fiction. And that is what I am using to label things such as God and enlightenment. I am labeling these things with a word. A word from the human language. It is necessary in order to communicate it and talk about it, but maybe the truth lies beyond the label itself. You cannot explain these things. Anytime you label something, or use words to describe it - that is not what it truly is - you are just piling more labels on top of it. So how do I get to the actual thing? Lets use death as an example. We have a theory of what death is. It is when the soul leaves the body, or when life ends, but until you experience death - you have no idea what it is. Higher self: So is that where truth lies - in direct experience? Lower self: Yeah... I think so. But how do I get there.. how do I get to the direct experience, and also... isn't direct experience just a label? Higher self: Yes, it is just a label.. But as you pointed out, there is something beyond the labels.. Or at least you believe there's something beyond the labels. And that thing that is beyond the labels, we are going to have to label that "direct experience" because as you said before, although there is no inherent truth to labels, we need them in order for the two of us to communicate. Lower self: Okay. Higher self: And in regards to the question: How do I get to the direct experience.. That is something that you are going to have to figure out on your own. Lower self: I understand. I am going to take a shower and start my day. I'll speak with you later.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #2 - Thu Apr 20 '23 - 7:49 AM Lower self: Hi, I have a good one for you. God is real. Higher self: How do you know that is true? Lower self: Well... I don't. I have no direct experience of God being real, but its just something that I believe, and I feel like I can talk to him sometimes, like he is this wise old man that gives me advice when I am struggling. Higher self: If you have no direct experience of what God is, then you do not know if its true that God is real. Lower self: Yeah... thats fair. I don't know whether or not God is real. Higher self: What else you got? Lower self: The ocean is blue. Higher self: What is the color blue? Lower self: The color blue... well, when I look at something with my eyeballs... Higher self: Who's eyeballs are they? Lower self: Mine. Higher self: And what is you? Lower self: I am a human body. I am Ben. Higher self: Is that true? Do you have a direct experience of being a human body? Lower self: Nope. I do not. You've got me there. Okay, I don't know what I am. What if I just say that I am the universe. That seems to make sense. I feel like I've heard that one before. Higher self: Okay... You are the universe. How do you know that this is true? Lower self: I know that I am the universe is true because there is only one thing and it is the universe. Higher self: Why does there only have to be one thing? Lower self: Because all of these finite things that we have on planet earth and all of the other planets, and all of the other solar systems and galaxies and whatever else is out there needs to be labeled as something, correct? Just like we are labeling what each species is, we must label what encapsulates this entire thing here. All of it... and its called the universe. Higher self: Okay, and why do you believe that you are the universe? Lower self: Because I am part of it. If the universe encapsulates everything and I am part of that thing, then that is what I am. How can you argue with that? Higher self: I can't. Lower self: Wow... and this is what a holon is. I am a holon because Ben is within the universe, therefore he IS the universe, he is part of it and the whole, at the same time. Thats confusing. Higher self: Yes it is. Very paradoxical. Lower self: Did I just say something that is true? Higher self: I think you did yes. You are the universe. This makes sense and I cannot argue with it. But you are still missing the being aspect. I believe that you will need a mystical experience in order to fully understand this. Or maybe not. I don't know. But yes you are the universe. But we need to cut into this theory of yours even further. I've never been great with paradoxes. They confuse the fuck out of me and I don't understand them. Lower self: Same here. Higher self: You are part of the universe and also a finite being, correct? Lower self: Yes.. Higher self: But didn't we say that you have no real experience of being Ben, of being a human. That a human is just a label, and Ben is also just a label. What about the universe, isn't this also just a label? Lower self: Okay, well first off, yes the universe is just a label. But how else can we communicate, we need to label things with words. So I guess this contradicts what I was saying yesterday. These labels are necessary. They shouldn't be thrown out so blatantly. And also I only experience what Ben experiences. I do not experience what its like to be Johnny, or Bobby, or Paul. And that is true. I have my own experiences. I am writing this post right now. I only know what it is like to live in this body. *Starts getting agitated.* My brain hurts. Higher self: Okay, lets come back to this later. In the mean time, you seem to be on the brink of an insight into holons. You should try reading more of Alexander Marchand's The Universe is a Dream, where he talks about this, and maybe a Leo video on Holons while you are driving around today. Lower self: Sounds good, thanks. I'll see you next time.

"One love, one heart, let's get together and feel alright." Song embodies love, compassion, equality, togetherness, peace, harmony, warmth

The concept of this video is stage green. The men decide as a collective who is the best match for the girl. This makes the vibe between the guys much more communal and loving rather than competitive. "Let the thoughts go, talk about it." A nice stage green quote from the girl at 7:13.

I started drinking organic wine from dryfarmwines.com a couple of years ago. All of their wines are tested for purity and have super low sugar content and no additives, it's just grapes. I feel like I can really taste the earth when drinking these wines. The buzz that I get is a much more clear headed buzz and I would need to down an entire bottle in order to get hungover. And even then, the hangover is much more tolerable, you just feel a bit off balanced, but there is no existential dread or nausea. Id suggest trying to not drink alcohol at all for optimal health. But this can be difficult for us depending on the friends that we hang out with and the situations we put ourselves in. (My friends still like to binge drink, which pressures me into drinking.) I can attest that organic wines are the healthiest form of drinking that I have found in my direct experience. It's actually quite disgusting what they put in these conventional popular wines such as Barefoot, Franzia, etc. This one time I drank a couple of glasses of my organic wine. I had a nice buzz, super clear headed, I was able to be well spoken and coherent and a little more rambunctious than usual. Then I let my friend give me some of the wine in his fridge. It literally tasted like I was drinking juice, I immediately got a headache, and my head became super foggy. All it took was a couple of sips. So yeah I'd say organic wine is much better for you. Cheers.

@Kelley White @jjer94 thank you both for your contributions in this thread. I feel that I learned some about what it takes to do serious Spiritual Autolysis work. I will use some of your insights as guidance in my journey. Cheers.

@hyruga thanks for replying. Overwhelment occurs in my life when I have too much going on and don't know what to do or how to handle all of the stresses going on in my life. Feeling powerless is one of my least favorite feelings in life. I'd compare it to feeling suffocated, as if somebody has a leash around my neck or the feeling of somebody sitting on my head or chest and therefore being unable to move. I feel like a total victim in these situations. I like to move up to 15. Blame, 17. Anger or 19. Hatred / Rage in these situations. I think overwhelment is a more enjoyable emotion because at least you are doing things with your life. When I am feeling powerless I'm usually not doing anything with my life, I'm just depressed.

Hi all, I really like the emotional scale from the book Ask and it is Given. I've started to create Spotify playlists that I feel coincide with each emotion. This has been a lot of fun and also useful because it helps me to better understand the emotion, and a technique that I like to use is if I am lets say at stage 9. Frustration, I play a song that is in 7. Contentment. This makes me feel better because I am moving up the emotional scale. Ultimately I want to get to #1 in which I feel joy or love or empowerment but hey life is difficult and maybe I have to settle for contentment that day. Anyways I was wondering if any of you are interested in creating a mega thread with me similar to the Spiral Dynamics Mega-Thread in which we come up with examples of each emotion on the emotional scale. For example, Bob Marley has a lot of very happy, joyous songs, which belong in the joy/ love category. Or if there is someone that is excuding passion in a speech, that example should go in the passion section. I think that this has the potential to really get people to understand their emotions better. I'm looking forward to hearing what you all think. Listed below is the emotional scale: Joy/Knowledge/Love/Freedom/Empowerment/Appreciation Passion Eagerness Positive Expectations/Beliefs Optimism Hopefulness Contentment Boredom Pessimism Frustration/Irritation/Impatience Overwhelment Disappointment Doubt Worry Blame Discouragement Anger Revenge Hatred/Rage Jealousy Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

Leo does a great job of explaining why it is so important for all men collectively to get good at attracting women. This is a good example of stage yellow because Leo is looking at the problems with these guys from a zoomed out scope and is giving advice in order to help humanity at large. He hopes that this advice will help all men get laid more and as a result cause less suicides, less shootings, and ultimately happier more fulfilled men. "Helping these guys meet these needs is imperative for the health of society." This is a great stage yellow quote from Leo.

@mmKay Fair enough

Bernie Sanders really epitomizes stage green in politics. This is where we are headed collectively in America as I feel that we are starting to see the limitations of stage orange in our country. I'd like to think that American style yoga is becoming more popular, as well as eating healthier, and showing more emotion and being more empathetic towards others. This is exciting for me because this is my favorite stage right now. I love the communal and loving aspect of this stage. And I've honestly yet to see the limitations of it which I feel is a telltale sign that I am not ready to move onto stage yellow just yet. I want to fully integrate green first, and also fully integrate some of the lower stages that I've been neglecting.

Burning Man highlights! Id love to go this year. It looks super cool and it will help me better understand and embody stage green.

Shout out to @Bernardo Carleial for posting this beautiful scene in the stage red thread. But as the moderator pointed out, this is more of a stage beige act than stage red. Although the human is displaying signs of being a warrior, being tough, and conquering one's enemy, he is not doing it to inflate his own ego. He is doing it in order to survive, plain and simple. The human even shows empathy for the mammoth at the end of the brutal mauling. He did what he did because he had to, not because he was power hungry. And that is the difference between beige and red.

@mmKay I think that these cats are in stage Beige instead of stage red. Stage Beige's main goal is to survive and reproduce. The cats in this video see other cats as encroaching on their territory, i.e. encroaching on their ability to survive and reproduce. Stage red is more power hungry and has more of an ego that I don't think that cats have the ability to embody just yet.

I watched season 1 of You on Netflix recently, and Joe is a classic example of a negative version of stage red. He is manipulative, controlling, and puts his own desires above everyone else's (with the exception of his relationship with a 10 year old kid Paco, who it seems Joe has genuine compassion towards.) In regards to his relationship with Beck, he steals her phone and stalks her, kills her current boyfriend, and also kills her best friend. He does all of these things "for her own good". What he fails to realize is that he is not doing these things for her, he is doing these things for himself. This is a very twisted form of love that he has established for Beck. And to top it all off, he kills Beck off as well because she finds out all of the things that he's done. I would have continued watching this show if Joe had some more complexity to him, but I don't think Joe is going anywhere on the spiral.

A charismatic stage red character