Spiritual Warrior

Transcending the Spiral, Entry #20 ~ Stage Red & Orange integration ~ February 10th, 2026 Where am I on the spiral dynamics ladder at this stage in my life? At around this time 2 years ago, I was contemplating whether or not I was ready to take the quantum leap into tier two. I now realize that I was dead wrong. I am not ready to take the quantum leap into stage yellow and may not be for another 5 years. This whole situation is interesting because the main characteristic of stage yellow is to be aware of the spiral itself and to understand that everything underneath tier two is a necessary development of the ego, which I am in tuned with. However, the second characteristic of stage yellow is to be able to zoom out and look at things in the world as “systems” and the tendency is to have a more holistic approach in which you are attempting to elevate the entire system instead of your own agenda. This is where my current situation gets in the way of living of living in a tier two way, which would be a more selfless and impactful way of living or Being. Right now, I am living at my mother's house, making $35k a year doing something that I love. My dating life is shit, I almost never have the courage to approach women, I've only had sex with two women in my life, and probably like 20 or 30 times total. So basically, my living situation and lack of sex requires me to stay in the tier one way of thinking in which I have to learn to manipulate my environment and brain power in order to achieve the material desires that I seek. The good news is that I have lots of healthy stage blue and stage green within me. I started integrating stage blue at a young age. My ability to understand right from wrong has always been good, and to this day I have a solid morale compass. I embarked on the stage green journey 8 years ago when I went vegan and traveled around the country “searching for myself” and getting into spirituality. I have always been a very empathetic person ever since youth, which made it easy to integrate this stage into my psyche. However, to truly get what we want in this world we must conquer and manipulate and in a way deceive. A human can go about this in a stage red way, which is taking things by force and doesn't take into account the negative impact that it will have on others… or it can go about this in a stage orange way, in which the spiritual side of life has at least been ignited (albeit a tiny flame.) the stage orange person gets what he wants out of life in a win-win way, in which his efforts are for the betterment of him and the person he is interacting with. I would like to share a couple of scenarios in which a stage red individual and a stage orange individual would use to accumulate wealth and sex. This is important to put awareness on because stage green and stage blue integration is not required in order to achieve things in the world, this is what stage red and orange are used for. The blue and green stages need to be integrated in order for human beings to be more integrated with love and harmony and community, but they are not responsible for making a human “get ahead in the world.” There is something about stage red that lights a fire underneath my belly. I want to taste the delicious nectar of my opponents. This is not barbaric or non-human, I am in touch with “my inner ape” which means I am in touch with exactly where I came from. In a lot of ways, my mindset is going to be entrenched in stage red’s conquer all mindset. However, I have developed myself enough to not go overboard. But truthfully, my ego or psyche has been so far removed from this kind of behavior that it yearns for a taste of this and I have to give this to myself. But again, don't worry about going overboard, you are way to empathetic and devleoped to become a true monster in this life. The more loving way to go about getting what we want in this life is to take a more stage orange approach in which every scenario is a win win. If I have sex with you, I win and you win. If I teach you how to dance, I win and you win. If you hire me, I win and you win. If you hang out with me, I win and you win. This is my goal over the next 5 years, using the stage red and stage orange mindset and the power of Thick Face Black Heart, I am going to get laid a lot, make lots of money and allow for my ego or psyche to have everything material that it craves. By then, I should be able to dissolve the selfish desires out of my system and I can start to take a look at systems thinking in a way that I can have a much more profound impact on a large group of people.

I have been thinking recently... Where are we all going? What is the point of this thing called life? We must be going somewhere... The answer to this question lies within the spiral of spiral dynamics. The goal for all of us is to climb up the spiral and fully integrate each stage on the way up. The higher you climb, the closer to God and truth that you get. I want to help my friends move up the spiral. I don't want to manipulate the people within the friend group for my selfish gains, I want to manipulate the entire system, so that they all, individually move up the spiral at their own pace. This requires me to understand where each person is at and what they need to do in order to fully integrate a stage and then transcend it. I will also need to develop myself along the spiral simultaneously so that I can better help them. This plan also requires me to start tapping into stage yellow. In order for me to change a system, I will need to understand how a system works. I am talking about a single human being as a system here, and also the friend group itself as a system, which I will have to understand more clearly in order for there to be real change. I need to first understand where each player is at on the spiral. Do they have any red? Orange? Blue? Green? Any yellow? What does each person embody? What do they enjoy doing? What are they working on or need to work on? (I am not using their real names for privacy) For reference, we are all about 27 / 28 years old right now. Listed below are the main players within the friend group. There is a hierarchy to this. I am going to put Pablo at the top. He hosts the most, is very close with all of the top players of the friend group. I would consider myself his right hand man. (its possible that I am being biased here, I will try to more consciously look at this matter) I am the best at schmoozing with everyone. I am the closest with the people at the bottom of the friend group. He is closest with the people at the top. My role is to make them feel included. His role is to plan and organize things. I trigger stage green empathy and stage orange charisma for this, he triggers stage orange planning and also has the best sense of humor, probably also a stage orange trait. Pablo - Has fully integrated red at a young age. He got into a fight in high school while standing up for what he believed was right, and has had several altercations with authority figures in which he was standing up for what he believed in. I feel safe while he is around. Has integrated blue very nicely as well, he has strong family values, strong loyalty, has self-discipline (although could maybe use a little work), he does tend to engage in "white lies" but he has improved upon this over the years. (White lies show lack of empathy and a willingness to manipulate other people) Has not fully integrated orange yet, he does have a house, a nice car, and seems to be well off. But he is still a penny pincher. This means that he is not living in abundance with his finances. Its as if he has been stagnant financially ever since he bought his house a couple of years ago. Green - Not a big hugger, eye contact is good. Has never done yoga. Does not eat healthy. Does show empathy towards others, but mainly kids, women, and the elderly. Struggles to give out love and empathy towards other men. Summary on Pablo: Seems to have nicely integrated red and blue and is done with those two. He is now stagnant at orange, needs to work that out. Honestly, I think that getting him to dive right into green would be very beneficial to him. Get him to a yoga class. That's the first step. Myself - Red- Has not fully integrated red yet. He is still small, has not worked out enough to build real muscles. Does not always say how he feels so that he will get approval from other people. Blue - Has not fully integrated blue either - Work ethic and self - discipline are not great. Is fairly loyal towards his friends and family. Orange - is not financially independent, is in credit card debt, does not have a house or even an apartment, does not have a serious girlfriend or a nice car. Green - Has integrated green nicely. Was a vegan for 2.5 years. Goes to yoga. Eats healthy food. Has done psychedelics. Gives out a fair amount of hugs. Is triggered by ugly stage red antics, such as animal abuse and racial inequality. Yellow - Has ambitions to integrate yellow's systems thinking, but I'd say does that have any integration of yellow just yet. Summary of myself: Although I have a lot of work to do on the red/blue/orange front. While I am working out those kinks, I will be able to simultaneously show my friends what stage green is all about - I want to get them to engage in these activities, such as hiking, yoga, healthy food, psychedelics, and being more loving towards others. Ant - Red - I know that in his rugby days in college and football days before that, he must have had to trigger red at times. I also know that he would have these crazy drinking and fighting competitions in college at his rugby parties. This screams red to me. I know he has also kicked people out of his parties in college, is also a big dude, definitely worked out for a while in his hay day. He shoved one of our other friends to the ground one time for "crossing a line" - It was controversial, but this shows that he is willing to trigger red and assert his dominance. (this was like 4 years ago) I think he's fully integrated red and transcended it. Blue - Has to wake up every morning at the same time. Has good loyalty and good family values. Orange - does have a house, a nice car, has fixed up the house, makes good money, shows good charisma, Green - Does have a good amount of green. Uses the word love a lot. Asks me if I need a hug sometimes. (I never do that) Is very caring and empathetic to the feelings of his friends, although I do notice that he misses the cues of his girlfriend when she is upset. Has never gone to yoga. Eats somewhat healthy. Drinks kombucha sometimes. Does still drink alcohol a lot. Summary for Ant: He seems very well integrated on all fronts. Am I missing something or is he ready to start moving over to yellow? He actually may have integrated more green than myself. I am unsure how to handle him. Paco - Definitely some red. His fighting history and interest in the UFC and the WWE is evidence of this. Does he have enough red? Yes. Does he have enough blue? No. I think he could use an increase in his self-discipline and work ethic. He is inconsistent and tends to slack off, not wake up on time. He is lazy in soccer, does not get back on defense, which is evidence towards not being a team player. Does he have enough orange? No. He is living with his parents right now and therefore not financially independent. He has orange-like traits in his money grabbing and ego-centric ways. His charisma and strategic thinking could use some work. Does not have very much green. Not that into hugging and is just very eco centered. He cares about his friends and loved ones, but doesn't care about strangers. Not very accepting of the transgender community. Still uses homophobic slurs. Summary - He is way too ego centric. He will have to integrate the more communal and loving stages of blue and green. If I can introduce him to stage green more, I think that will go a long way. Hug more, invite him to yoga, etc. Overall summary: Several other people within the friend group will need to be analyzed, but this is a good start. What can I do right now to help these folks? Get them to go to yoga with you. Or go on a hike, be more loving, flash green in front of them, get your hands on some psychedelics.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #100 I just reached the century mark for journaling, congratulations! The main thing in my life that I am working on is being able to approach women and express my attraction towards them. This has got to be my main priority. I don't want to put this off any longer. Everything I do right now needs to be geared towards accomplishing this in life. This means that I am going to prioritize this over everything else. Be very aware of your tendency to become attached to the women that you see everyday through work. This is a trap. DO NOT hang out with them outside of the studio, you will become attached and want to pursue them, and this is not the goal. I want to make a streak goal in which I compliment at least one woman on her appearance every single day. Is this possible? Yeah I think so... This is what I need to do in order to create some momentum for myself. I did this today, I was at a coffee shop and I told a woman that I "that's a nice dress" - this is honestly a really good start. The prospect of approaching a woman at a coffee shop and hitting on her feels incredibly daunting, but I can get there. Deep down, I do believe in myself, but there is so much resistance to this becoming a reality. The vision of it going well has got to propel you into action. That is the key. Your current reality is that you do not approach women and you don't have anyone to have sex with or become intimate with in your life. Your vision is to firstly have an abundance of women that you can have sex with, and out of that bunch, you will choose one of them and you will make that one your girlfriend. The reality is that I feel like a little bitch, unable to get laid, has no courage to approach women, this causes me great shame and pain and I don't want to go on living like this. I have to change this about myself. I just have to. And every approach will making you stronger and stronger and stronger. The road is long and treacherous but I am willing to go down it. 2.9.26 Morning Routine: Wake up as soon as alarm sounds: 1 Make bed: 8 Journal: 100 Brush teeth streak: 100 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 74 Meditation streak: 2 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 2 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 2 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 2 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 2 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 2 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 Belly breathing exercise: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 8 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 102 No smoking weed streak: 57

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #99 Its 6:47 on Monday and I have dance practice at 10:15. This means that I have to leave here by 8:30am to get to the gym at 9:00 am. I also have to figure out what I’m eating today and what I’m cooking. I unfortunately cannot open the actualized forum page right now because it is not working. I am going to have to journal about my upcoming week without it. Thats okay… there is a lot that I need to figure out. I kind of like waking up this early (5:30 this morning) it gives me a lot of time to figure things out before I get my day started. I no longer feel like a victim in this world. I am a force that can accomplish anything that I put my mind to. I am confident and self-reliant. All of my goals will be met with enough drive and focus. Okay, so I still have to eat breakfast and figure out what I am going to eat and do for the remainder of the week. I really wish I could quiet my mind down. It is so noisy up there. Like shut the fuck up.. Let me focus on my goals. What are your goals?? World champion dancer Successful dance instructor, making 6 figures Clear headed, emotional master Not swayed by the opinions of others Gets laid A LOT Is very sexy and very attractive Is not afraid to fail Expresses himself authentically out there on the dance floor Has a YouTube channel with a million subscribers, talking and making an impact on his students Has a shredded, “God-like” physique Is enlightened, understand the truth about reality and the human condition I am starting to see the trajectory of this work: I can have all of the sex that I want, I can have all of the fame that I want, I can sculpt myself into anything that I want myself to be, I can be insanely attractive and sexy, I can be a vessel for Truth, I can be the man that women look up to and swoon over and are inspired by, I can be THAT GUY.. and this is exactly where I’m heading, just watch. Morning Routine: Wake up as soon as alarm sounds: 0 Make bed: 7 Journal: 100 Brush teeth streak: 102 Floss streak: 2 Shower streak: 73 Meditation streak: 1 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 1 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 1 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 1 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 1 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 1 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 0 Belly breathing exercise (count to 100) "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 7 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 101 No smoking weed streak: 56

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #98 What do I want for my life? I want to be able to approach any woman on this planet and authentically express my infatuation for her. This is my main goal right now. I also want to become a successful dance instructor, teaching lots of lessons on a weekly basis and being able to provide genuine value to my students. So much value that they are astounded at the value that I am providing towards them. I also want to be able to have the freedom to make my own schedule. I want to fuck lots of women. I want to handle business and be confident and take care of things and have emotional intelligence and work hard and be able to talk to people with confidence. I want to be a sexy and attractive man that gets laid A LOT. But… I am feeling some type of way right now.. but why? I feel lost. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I have no grasp on what Im doing. I feel behind. I feel like all of my students are leaving me. I have got to find a way to create balance in my life so that I don't feel overwhelmed by everything that's going on. My vision is so much bigger than any one girl. Remember that. My new goal is to wake up as soon as the alarm sounds. The time that I wake up will vary and that is okay. It is clear what I have to do. Now what will my workout consist of? 1. Leg press 2. Barbell squat 3. Dumbbell lunge 4. Lat pulldown 5. Dumbbell curls 6. DB rear lateral raise Sunday: 6:30 shower and groom 7:00 meditate 7:30 eat breakfast and journal 8:00 get ready to leave 9:00 leave for gym 9:30 work out - finish legs workout and pull exercises 10:30 head to convention center 11:00 work convention center 2:00 head to grocery store 2:30 grocery shop - guac (avocados, red onion, limes, cilantro, chips), chicken thighs, rice, asparagus or a veggie on sale, whole milk, shrimp, banza pasta, kidney beans, lentils, mixed veggies, toothpaste) 3:30 throw laundry in the washing machine - also have mom 3:30 cook meals for the next 3 days 5:00 give yourself a haircut and put laundry away 6:00 head to mikes house for the Super Bowl Morning Routine: Wake up as soon as alarm sounds: 0 Make bed: 6 Journal: 99 Brush teeth streak: 101 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 72 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 6 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 100 No smoking weed streak: 55

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #97 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 5 Make bed: 5 Journal: 98 Brush teeth streak: 100 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 71 Meditation streak: 5 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 5 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 5 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 5 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 5 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 5 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 5 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 99 No smoking weed streak: 54

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #96 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 4 Make bed: 4 Journal: 97 Brush teeth streak: 99 Floss streak: 4 Shower streak: 70 Meditation streak: 4 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 4 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 4 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 4 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 4 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 4 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 5 Wash face streak: 5 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 4 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 4 No alcohol streak: 98 No smoking weed streak: 53

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #95 Things are going to change for me, drastically. I say this because I am attracting an optimistic and / or hopeful mindset into my life. I am starting to curve into everything that I am afraid of. I am no longer afraid to embarrass myself or to mess things up. I drive into whats uncomfortable. I take a delight in it. I want to know the Truth in every situation, even if it hurts, especially if it hurts actually. The idea is not to avoid hard times, it is to be able to take on hard times with an inner strength. This is the best route to take because I have VERY big goals. I want to own a dance studio, I want to have a house, I want to be a world champion dancer, I want to fuck LOTS of women, I want a God-like physique... This is the vision I have for my life. If I am going to actualize all of these things into my life, I have to become emotionally sound and disciplined and mature so that I can handle the trials and tribulations that come with manifesting this into my life. Lets take emotional mastery as an example. The root solution to dealing with emotions is to experience them fully instead of avoiding them. This is very obvious to me now, so take every action possible to you to do things that are emotionally challenging, especially when dealing with people. You know what else I have noticed? When certain people are around, I act differently. I can see and feel it, I don't act authentically anymore, it is unfortunate, it gets me out of the flow. But thats okay... this is just the reality of the situation that you are currently in. Okay, so I am sitting at a coffee shop. There are a few things that I would like to work on and I also really want to go to the gym because I only did the first set of my routine. What does your work schedule look like today? I am going to leave at 3 o'clock today to finish my workout. I could also use some more food because I couldn't drink a protein shake this morning because I didn't bring home my protein container. I could also use a meditation session but idk when or where to do this at. Okay, so I am going to leave here in 5 minutes to finish my workout. Then I am going to grab a protein shake at Cubmerland Farms so that I can substitute my protein shake that I missed this morning. Then. I will come back to work. I ahve to start teaching at 5:30 and I am going straight through until 9:15. I have the two group classes (6:15 and 7:00) and then P*******, J********, and I am forgetting who else. This means that I have to summarize one of my students critique sheets. I will do this first thing. I want to have a better understanding of my student body and what I need to do throughout the week in order to set myself up for success. I want to grow here rapidly. Truly. I don't know whats gotten into me lately but I am very focused and ambitious, its great, its awesome. And it stems from having a very large vision for my life. I am able to look at things going on around me with dispassion and detachment so that I can accomplish my goals independent of the opinions of others and how it will affect others. This is Thick Face, Black Heart. So when I start my day I am going to type up the summary so that I can present it to here on her lesson. I am going to teach all day and I would like to develop a better system of "things to do" while I am working. There are so many things that I am working on and I feel like I dont have a good handle on it. Tomorrow, I have a coaching at 11 am, which means I have to get out the door at 10:30 am. I also don't have food made for myself tonight, which is not ideal. Should I do this tomorrow morning or tonight? To not wake up my mom I probably should do it tomorrow, but that means that I have to eat something else tonight when I get home because I have nothing prepared, which I am okay with, my mom made some meatloaf and something else I think, why dont I just eat that so that I don't wake her up. I feel like there are other things I need to do but I m not sure what yet. I also need a new smooth ballroom shirt. I want to figure that out soon... and a vest too! After work, I am going to that swing dance place and then I am heading home... wait a minute, I have to work out tomorrow as well. When am I going to do that? IDK I will figure that out later. And then on Saturday, I am going to be heading to NYC to hit on women! I am very excited to jump into this deep cold pool. Okay... I have to go work out. Thursday: 7:30 shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 Cook meals for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 10:30 Leave for gym 11:00 Work out 12:00 Dance practice 2:00 Dance practice 4-10pm Work 10pm Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 3 Make bed: 3 Journal: 96 Brush teeth streak: 98 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 69 Meditation streak: 3 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 3 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 3 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 3 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 3 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 3 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 4 Wash face streak: 4 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 3 No alcohol streak: 97 No smoking weed streak: 52

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #94 Wednesday: 7:00 Shower and groom 7:30 Meditate 8:00 Journal and eat breakfast 8:30 Pack everything 9:00 head to dance training 10a-12p - dance training ($20) 12-10pm Work 10 Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 circulate sexual energy Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 2 Make bed: 2 Journal: 95 Brush teeth streak: 97 Floss streak: 2 Shower streak: 68 Meditation streak: 2 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 2 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 2 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 2 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 2 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 2 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 3 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 2 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 2 No alcohol streak: 96 No smoking weed streak: 51

Interlude: Personal Journal Things to do after work: - nail down those moves: foxtrot explosion, tango abanico, and tango vienesse cross and memorize the routine - finish workout -Get gas - shovel driveway so that there is room for both cars -bring home water bottle Things to do (at some point): -get headlight fixed -sit down and figure out finances -figure out charger set up Insight: Honestly, spending those 45 minutes scrolling on Instagram absolutely fucked me. It pushed everything back this is why having discipline over your habits is so important because you have such a large vision now. I want to do REALLY WELL at this competition in New Orleans l. REALLY WELL. I am going to work my ass off to learn these steps and have proper form.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #93 A couple of things I'd like to run by you. Firstly, nice job with the workout yesterday. I made a list of everything that I want to do this week and it has done wonders. I have everything that I want to do this week planned out to a tee. I am excited to see where this goes. The road to become an attractive man is a treacherous, tumultuous path. Things don't get easier, but your ability to handle life's challenges greatly increases. I met a girl while I was on break at work yesterday. She couldn't find the coffee shop so I walked her over there, we chatted a bit. At the end of the conversation, I wish I told her that she was cute and asked her for her number.. too bad.. I will have many more opportunities though. You have to realize that every approach that you make is going to make these girls days, its not just about you. Tuesday: 7:30 Shower and Groom 8:00 consultation call 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Meditate 9:30 unsure 10:30 head to dance 11:00 Dance practice 12:30 Head to gym 1:00 Work out 2:00 Dance practice 4-10 pm: Work 10 Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Practice circulating sexual energy Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 1 Make bed: 1 Journal: 94 Brush teeth streak: 96 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 67 Meditation streak: 1 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 1 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 1 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 1 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 1 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 1 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 1 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 95 No smoking weed streak: 50

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #92 Okay so I have created a meal plan as well as a schedule for the ENTIRE week. I am very excited to implement this. I am also going to go out to the city this upcoming weekend to hit on girls. This is my main priority. I HAVE to change myself into a man that gets laid often. This is non-negotiable. It is 7 am right now and I have to leave here by 7 am. I still have to finish my breakfast, shower and groom and also cook my food for the week. Hopefully I get everything done. Monday: 7:00: Shower and groom 7:30 Meditation 8:00 Journal and eat breakfast (protein shake) 8:30 Pack everything up 9:00 Head to the gym 9:30 Work out 10:30 am dance practice 1-10pm: work 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 0 Make bed: 0 Journal: 93 Brush teeth streak: 95 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 66 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 0 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 94 No smoking weed streak: 49

Interlude: Weight training regimen Workout 1: Push (Monday) Barbell Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Incline Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Dumbbell Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Triceps Pushdown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 2: Pull (Tuesday) Barbell Deadlift 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps One-Arm Dumbbell Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Alternating DB Curl 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 3: Upper (Thursday) Seated Dumbbell Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Seated Cable Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Close-Grip Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Rear Lateral Raise 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 4: Legs (Friday) Barbell Squat 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Leg Curl 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Leg Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Lunge 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #91 Several streaks have gone by the way side. I really want to become more organized in my life. The funny thing is that my weeks usually go really well because I just love my job so much. However, my weekends are kind of shit because I don't hang out with my friends that often, I don't usually wake up at the right time and start my day, everything is a mess on the weekend. What happened Friday night into Saturday? So I had a good day at work, I was productive and confident. Then, I went to a place to dance, I had never been there. I had fun dancing but I did not have much energy. This job takes a toll on the body sometimes. After I got out, I grabbed a pint of ice cream and a bag of chips, with full knowledge that I wanted to go to NYC and hit on women the following day, but I wanted to indulge and I couldn't control myself. I get home and I watched something on my computer as I down the ice cream and then passed out. I didn't was my face or brush my teeth.. The next morning, I wake up and I work hard on the Thick Face Black Heart summary, here it is: I continued to work on chapter 2 throughout the middle of the day, so I am being productive. Throughout the day, I probably took 2-3 naps, and I also masturbated without ejaculation. I think I sabotaged my plans of going to NYC because I was scared. There is no reason why I couldn't have done it. So I sabotaged that and the sabotage continued through the rest of the weekend. I have been a lazy sack the whole weekend. I tend to not hold myself to any standard on the weekends, I completely let go. Now, I don't want you to beat yourself up too much. Just get out of this hole and build yourself back up. Overall, you are doing great things. What are some highlights from the week: I uploaded chapter 1 of Thick Face Black Heart book summary I built 5 lessons out of thin air I had a couple of really good introductory lessons I opened up about being upset with my dance partner for breaking it off I talked to a traveling consultant coach for 45 minutes she is very attractive - (she also kept getting really close to me throughout the day, not sure if this is in my head or if it was legitimate) - again super attractive, I love experiences of talking to attractive women because I really want to get used to that so that I'm more comfortable Had a breakthrough with one of my students - we started dancing "close contact" for all of our smooth dances - she is stretching her feet and we started to use more emotion Okay, great, again really positive things throughout the week and then the weekend hits and things just hit the fan... although I did put in several hours into my YouTube channel, which is great. I am proud of myself, truly, but there are always things to work on. What do I want to do today: Take a shower Buy some toothpaste Brush teeth / floss Start to figure out what to do this week What does this upcoming week look like? Monday: 7:00: Shower and groom 7:30 Meditation 8:00 Journal and eat breakfast (protein shake) 8:30 Pack everything up 9:00 Head to the gym 9:30 Work out 10:30 am dance practice 1-10pm: work 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Tuesday: 7:00 Shower and Groom 7:30 meditation 8:00 consultation call 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything up 9:30 Head to the gym 10:00 Workout 11:00 Here I am going to head to the library and see if there is anything that I need to take care of 2:00 Dance practice 4-10 pm: Work 10 Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Practice circulating sexual energy Wednesday: 7:30 Shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 head to dance training 10a-12p - dance training ($20) 12-10pm Work 10 Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 circulate sexual energy Thursday: 7:30 shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 Cook meals for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 10:30 Leave for gym 11:00 Work out 12:00 Dance practice 2:00 Dance practice 4-10pm Work 10pm Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Friday: 7:30 Shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 Head to the gym 10:00 Work out 11:00 Dance training 1-10pm Work 10pm Head home 10:30 brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Saturday: 7:30 Shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 Leave for New Haven 10:30 Head to Grand Central 12:30 Arrive at NYC 12:30-4:00 Make my way towards the dance studio, hitting on women on my way over there (20 minute walk) 4:00-5:30pm WCS Jack and Jill Prep - ($45) 5:30-8p - hit on women on my way over to the next dance studio (9 min walk) 8:00p - 12am Social dancing ($20) 12 am Head back to Grand Central 1:00 am Grand central train 3:00 am Get back to CT 4:00 am Get back home Sunday: 9:30am Shower and Groom 10:00 Meditate 10:30 Eat breakfast and Journal 11:00 Get things ready 11:30 Do laundry, grocery shop, cook meals for the week, give yourself a haircut, make something for the Super Bowl 3:30 head to the library to work on some things and get ready for next week 5:00 Leave for for the Super Bowl 6:00 pm Enjoy the Super Bowl! 11:00 pm get home, wash face and brush teeth Lets also take a quick look at what it is I am trying to accomplish in my life: I want an abundance of sex with an abundance of women I want a highly conscious and highly developed intimate relationship (at the end of the pick up journey) Open up a meditation center I want to be incredible at having sex, being able to have multiple full body orgasms and lasting for hours Become a world champion dancer Make $100,000 a year Lots of entries Lots of lessons Start a YouTube channel Approach 1,000 women Make a vast impact on humanity through my work Youtube channel Performing powerful solos Have a God-like shredded physique Exemplify authentic, healthy masculinity Write books on spirituality and enlightenment Buy a house for entertaining Reach a level of consciousness of 1,000 Okay, now how am I going to set my life up so that I am working towards my goals every single day? Wake up at 7:30am - dude just do it. Wake up and get in the fuckin' shower Workout 4 days a week ~ Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I just have to do this - and I need an hour at the gym, no less than that Start meal planning - I want to have the necessary amount of macros in order to gain muscle - I am going to be more strategic about this and track everything Meditate daily Approach at least 10 women every weekend - you need to be meeting new attractive women on a weekly basis Work hard when you are in the studio and take multiple coachings a week On Sundays, always give yourself a haircut, meal prep for the week and Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 0 Make bed: 0 Journal: 92 Brush teeth streak: 94 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 65 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 0 No ejaculation streak: 0 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 93 No smoking weed streak: 48

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #90 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 0 Make bed: 11 Journal: 91 Brush teeth streak: 93 Floss streak: 4 Shower streak: 64 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 4 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 4 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 4 No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 92 No smoking weed streak: 47

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #89 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 3 Make bed: 10 Journal: 90 Brush teeth streak: 92 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 63 Meditation streak: 4 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 4 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 4 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 3 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 3 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 3 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 3 No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 91 No smoking weed streak: 46

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #88 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 2 Make bed: 9 Journal: 89 Brush teeth streak: 91 Floss streak: 2 Shower streak: 62 Meditation streak: 3 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 3 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 3 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 2 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 2 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 2 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 4 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 2 No ejaculation streak: 2 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 90 No smoking weed streak: 45

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #87 Okay, now this morning, I woke up at 7:00 am, but I stayed in bed until about 7:45 am. Its now 8 am, I am journaling right now and drinking my coffee. I wanted to get to the gym so that I could get a leg workout in, but I don't know if that is possible anymore. One thing that I'm realizing is that it really doesn't mater what order I do my morning routine in. I have had a healthy paradigm shift in regards to this, as I have realized that the intention of a morning routine like this is for an overarching goal, which is just to get things out of the way that set me up for success so that I can get on with the day afterwards and enjoy more success. It doesn't matter if I journal first or second or third, if it gets my ass out of bed on time, then that is what I should do. In the creative process, sometimes things change and you have to be able to adapt to that. When I try to get myself out of bed in the morning, the thought of showering is not enticing at all, so I procrastinate. However, the thought of drinking a hot coffee and journaling is VERY enticing so just lean into that, no harm there. Next thing on the agenda, I have realized that I really am hurt by this dance partnership break up and I should really talk to this girl about it. This is what a real man, or a real Thick Face Black Heart practitioner would do, of course ideally I am able to handle situations like these with dispassion and detachment, in which I am able to detach from the emotions that I am feeling in favor of a more wholistic, warrior-like mindset, but this is just where I'm at. On another positive note, I have about $1300 coming into my bank account tomorrow from this dance event over the weekend. I had owed my mom $320 and my dad $585 so I will be able to pay them COMPLETELY back. This is going to feel AWESOME to get this off of my shoulders. I also only have until mid March to pay back my debt relief program, that will also feel awesome. I feel like I'm finally starting to take back control of my financial life. Some things that I would like to save for: I need to start saving money in my bank account in case my car craps out on me, this is essential, I have no idea how long this thing is going to last, it is a 2001 Toyota Avalon with about 205,000 miles on it. The next thing is my heart surgery, I will have to pay at least $3,000 for it. There are the most important things but there are more things that I would like as well, lets make a list and order them by priority: New smooth shirt and smooth vest: $300 Heart Surgery: $3,000 New car: $5,000 Shrooms: $200 Upgrading teeth: $3,000 Dating coaching: $2,500 Tattoos: $500 Buying a condo / house: $10,000 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 1 Make bed: 8 Journal: 88 Brush teeth streak: 90 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 61 Meditation streak: 2 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 2 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 2 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 1 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 1 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 1 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 3 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 1 No ejaculation streak: 1 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 89 No smoking weed streak: 44

Interlude: Things to do today ~ 1.27.26 Okay, so right now I feel fuzzy. I don't know what to do. I know I've got to meditate and get my visualizations in, but I also have no clean underwear. I have to do some laundry. This ideally should have been done on Sunday night so that I felt ready for the week to begin. This is what I am missing in my schedule, a Sunday night in which I make sure that I have everything set up for the week. Okay, so I will work on this next weekend, but for now I have to start playing catch up. What is it that I should be doing on Sunday nights anyways? I want to give myself a haircut, clean and organize my room, do laundry, cook food for myself for Monday through Thursday. Anyways, I now have to play catch up. So I have to do my laundry, give myself a haircut, cook food, meditate, organize my room, and then head to the gym and then to work. I wanted to get to work early so that I could start calling people to get them in this week, we will see how that goes. My lesson count is low this week, but hey I have to get things ready and in order, theres no way around it. Okay, ready set go,...

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #86 Yesterday I had a good day. We were snowed in so I spent the day shoveling, reading books, napping, and creating videos for my Youtube channel. Nowadays, I am always doing productive things when I have free time because I have such a strong and overarching vision for my life. This is vastly different from how I used to live 3+ years ago. A masculine energy has awoken within me in which I am embodying a man with a Thick Face and a Black Heart, in other words I do not care what others think about me and I will do whatever it takes to meet my goals. This will carry me into this weekend in which I am going to head to New York City and approach women. I feel a new surge of energy when I tell you this, I am going to make this happen no matter what. I am now willing to fail, I do not care about how a single approach goes, I do not care what these women think about me, I only care about THE RESULT. Thats all I fuckin' care about. And in order to get the result, which is actually just the girl of my dreams, I have to approach AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. I have grown frustrated with my inability to wake up at the time that I have set for myself. Its not that hard to get your ass up when the alarm goes off and it will do wonders for the goals that you are set to reach because you will have the necessary time that it takes to actualize them. Think about it, you waste an entire hour when you are supposed to wake up, scrolling on your phone. That is an entire hour that you could spend organizing your life, or working out, or journaling, or working on your YouTube project. Get your ass up. Last night, I did watch porn and masturbate and ejaculated. The ejaculation was an unintentional "retrograde ejaculation" in which the semen dispersed into my bladder. I could tell because no semen came out of the head of the penis, but I completely lost my erection. This is a big wake up call as I have no idea anymore how to actually have full body orgasms. This needs work. I am excited to start treating the women that I know at work differently. I recently became aware that I act a certain way around them in hopes that I will get into their pants one day. This is neediness behavior. I am COMPLETELY shifting this mindset. I do not care what they think about me. AT ALL. I do not pursue women at work. I do just fine pursuing them elsewhere. The road to becoming a masculine man is a tumultuous and difficult path and I am finally ready to take the first step. Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 0 Make bed: 7 Journal: 87 Brush teeth streak: 89 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 60 Meditation streak: 1 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 1 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 1 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 2 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 0 No ejaculation streak: 0 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 88 No smoking weed streak: 43

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #85 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 3 Make bed: 6 Journal: 86 Brush teeth streak: 88 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 59 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 8 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 15 No ejaculation streak: 15 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 87 No smoking weed streak: 42

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #84 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 2 Make bed: 5 Journal: 85 Brush teeth streak: 87 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 58 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 7 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 14 No ejaculation streak: 14 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 86 No smoking weed streak: 41

Interlude: Personal Journal ~ 1.25.26 I am a professional ballroom dancer and dance instructor. I have started to gain success in this business in which I compete in competitions, people know who I am, my students are winning awards. I am one of the “hot” dance instructors. Anyways, this is all great and a necessary step in the natural development of the ego. However, I am firstly way too much in my own head, unable to stop or even slow down thoughts most of the time. The times when I do this the best is when I am dancing actually. Now, although I have become an “attractive man” on paper, muscular physique, charismatic, talks well, good hygiene and grooming habits, I do not have an abundance of women and sex in my life despite being around so many of them in the ballroom world. Why is this? Because I do not approach women. EVER. I just don't. I have failed again and again and again to approach a single girl when out and about in public. Now all of this is going to change, I know it. But it is going to take courage on your part. It is going to take getting out of your comfort zone, it is going to take doing things that make you uncomfortable and that you don't want to do. Now, are you ready to take this heros journey on? Or are you going to push it off another month, another year, another two??? What would your life look like if you went all year not pursuing your true authentic desires. Or better yet, what would your life look like if you did pursue your true authentic desires for the next year? I would have a shredded physique. I would have an abundance of women in my life. I would have an abundance of sex in my life. I wouldn't simp over ANYBODY. Women and men would respect me fully. I would have emotional intelligence to handle any and every situation. My behaviors around women would be non needy but attractive, honest, and direct. How am I going to get there? I am in a great mindset right now. I am in a super masculine aura that tells people “I mean business.” I don't give a fuck about how people view me. I don't give a fuck if I walk by somebody and don't say hello. I don't give a fuck if you reject me. I don't give a fuck about what your opinions are about me. I am going to get mine. This is the energy that I am going to carry with me through the year of 2026. Also, steer into what's uncomfortable in EVERY situation that you undertake. Start telling women that you find them beautiful. Go to NYC every weekend and hit on every girl that you see. Perform and compete in every single competition that you possibly can. Work hard for your students, develop them to their fullest. And above all else, love yourself, put yourself first, you deserve the fuckin’ world. And don't let any girl’s rejection of your authentic self tell you otherwise. It is time to turn the boy into the fuckin man. Let's fuckin’ go.

Ive never tried this but it sounds very useful. Can you give me an example of the "shadow work" questions that you used?

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #83 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 1 Make bed: 4 Journal: 84 Brush teeth streak: 86 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 57 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 6 Wash face streak: 6 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 13 No ejaculation streak: 13 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 85 No smoking weed streak: 40 On another note, I fuckin love this video. I will no longer be a nice guy, no longer be a push over, I am a fuckin' man, I have a thick face and a black heart and I accomplish every single goal that I set out for myself. No matter fuckin' what. I am going to dive into the belly of the beast if it fuckin' kills me because I will not live like this anymore while I have so much potential. I am going to look at the eye of the storm and walk straight into it.