Spiritual Warrior

I would like to share with you guys a trap that I fell into in my life; getting into spirituality too early. When I was 23 years old, I graduated college and had an existential crisis. I didn't know who I was outside of my college self and didn't know what to do with my life. I started to dabble in the self help field, watching lots of Leo's videos and reading some self help books. I also got a job at a Telecommunications company (which my mom basically handed to me I might add) and I started working long, stressful hours. The first couple of years flew by. When I was 25, I decided to quit and spend all of my money on traveling and self help books, I coasted by for a couple of years, living off of COVID unemployment money, money that I had saved up, and some odd jobs. This is when I started to get into spirituality. I read all of Jed Mckenna's books, The Book of Not Knowing, Conversations with God and I listened to every one of Leo's videos on Spiritual Enlightenment. I was blown away by the material and am still fascinated as to what this state of consciousness is and how I can get there. This seems like a nice trajectory that I've taken, but there are a couple of major problems with it. I know now that I was using spirituality as a distraction from the authentic desires that I held for creating a successful dating life and also finding my life purpose. These spiritual pursuits were not an authentic desire of mine, they were merely being used to avoid the emotional labor that it would take to tackle my dating needs and to find my life purpose. Sure, I now have a nice baseline understanding of what enlightenment is and what techniques can be used to get there, but now at 28 I am basically starting from ground zero in the dating world and I have found my life purpose, but am at ground zero in terms of building this life purpose into a successful career that can earn a sustainable income. As an adult, the evolution of a man's desires should go more or less like this: 1. Get success in the dating world 2. Find your life purpose and create success within it 3. Pursue spirituality / enlightenment Can you pursue all three at once? Yeah sure, probably.. just be careful that you are not half assing the pursuit of them. If you are going to pursue something, then fully lean into it. That is why it is more ideal to pursue one fully and then move onto the next. Unenlightened people can be described as living in the dream state, enlightened people have exited the dream state and couldn't go back in if they tried. Yes, I admit it, I am dreaming, but I am enjoying every delicious, juicy, painful, anxious moment within this dream... and until it is an authentic desire of mine to leave this dream state, I will not pursue it... and neither should you. I hope someone gets something out of this and best of luck to you all.

Jeez.. you are very rude. You should think about how you converse with people. I'm not going to interact with you anymore.

It's about being fun loving, having a sense of humor and being goofy. This is what gets you laid. You clearly have not developed these traits yet. And counter intuitively, you will become a happier person once you embody this. Its mentally exhausting having to take life so seriously all of the time.

Try to respectfully lead her into having sex with you This will be fun for both of you and you will gain a direct experience of what it takes to lead which will help you grow.

Surrendering to God A: Why should someone surrender to God? Why not fight with God? Why not argue with him and berate him and throw stones at him? B: Would he do that to you? A: No B: You also have no choice in the matter, you have to surrender to him, he is all powerful, the creator of all of existence, what else is there to do but surrender. A: Surrender? What does that even mean? B: You surrender to the experience, surrender to the path, stop fighting it, it's already been laid out for you. A: Okay... Then why don't I have a routine and why does my head jumble around and why do I never know what the right thing to do is? You do know the right thing. How do I know that I know the right thing? Because there is no wrong thing. What would make something wrong? It's wrong if it doesn't benefit me, if it was a mistake, if I hurt somebody or ruined a relationship. And what makes these instances wrong? They are not truly wrong per se but they hurt me.. and I always know that I could have handled the situation in the "right" way, which is the opposite of the "wrong" way. Sure.. but how could you possibly learn how to do something in the "right" way without learning from its opposite, the "wrong" way. Yeah.. I guess you're right. We need both, and you can't have one without the other. Does that make them not opposites? Because if two things are dependent on each other, then how could they be opposites, they are one and the same. They must be. Can they be both? Yeah.. I guess they can, I mean they are right now. Can they be opposites and dependent on each other? Yeah I guess. You guess or you know? I don't think I know anything anymore I say again, can they be opposites while simultaneously being dependent on each other? Lets back up for a second.. what is the definition of an opposite? Two opposites are two opposing forces that balance each other out. What if there's only one opposite? Not possible. You cant have one opposite, there needs to be a second thing in order for the balance to be needed.

However she wants to feel..

Love this.. allow the woman to blossom into a beautiful flower, vibrant and free flowing

How is Leo staying afloat financially while not releasing any YouTube content?

I’d like to vent to you guys about my experience at a salsa club last night. I got out at work at 10 pm and headed to the salsa dancing venue for 10:30 with one of my buddies. Right when I walked in, we met up with some work friends that I don’t really know that well. One of the girls immediately asked me to dance merengue with her, we had danced before in our dance instructor training so we have a little bit of rapport. I enjoyed dancing with her, she is very good and knows how to move her hips. Next, I ask this older latina woman to dance with me, my first cold approach. She enjoyed it. I was not attracted to her though. Then I shift my attention to the front of the venue, there's a lot of energy coming from over there. I try to bounce around a little bit and get into the music. Eventually, another work friend girl asks me how long I’ve been working there and then asks me to dance with her. Those three dances were fun but I am limited in my merengue moves, I’d like to learn more. Now I’m starting to feel myself a little bit. A salsa song comes on and I do my second cold approach, I ask this young Jamaican woman thats a little bit taller than me to dance the salsa. She immediately takes my hand. We dance for several minutes, I felt like it went really well, she was smiling and we were starting to develop some chemistry. Towards the end of our dance I was starting to get turned on, but I didn’t really know what to do about it, not sure if she picked up on this, but she ended the dance shortly after that. She gave me a hug and her name and walked away. Next, I ask a short older woman to dance with me. She said she didn't know how and I told her I would teach her. This didn’t last long, she just wasn’t feeling it. I walk around the venue for a little bit, trying to make eye contact with someone but to no avail. When I come back, I find the taller Jamaican woman and the short older woman both dancing with other guys, like really close, intimately…. And damn…. This hurt… What on earth are these guys doing that I am not? Is it their sexual prowess? Is it their confidence? This is where my confidence starts to deteriorate and it must have shown in my next two approaches. I decide to continue trudging along. I walk up to another girl, tap her on the shoulder and ask her if she wants to dance with me, she says something like “Yeah, I guess.” I say “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it's okay.” And then she turns her back to me and dances with her friends. Damn, another one. I meet back up with my buddy, and he points out a couple of cute girls on the dance floor he wants us to approach. He asks me which one I want and I choose the more attractive one (props to me for that). We walk up to them and ask them to dance, the girl I was dancing with was a 9 or a 10, very attractive. We were dancing merengue and she had a drink in her hand which made it difficult to do many moves. After only a couple of minutes, she lets go of my hand and signals to her friend to come over to her. I can tell that this means she is not feeling the interaction and wants to get out. I back away and continue dancing facing her, I probably should have just walked away and saved some dignity. Eventually, she said that her feet were hurting and she needs a break. I knew it was coming. My confidence is now completely shot and I decide that I should leave, theres no way that I can confidently approach anyone else tonight. I left at 11:30 so I only stayed for an hour. Next steps: I am feeling a bit frustrated right now so I'd like to take some time this weekend and decompress. I have a bowling date lined up tomorrow night and I have another girl's number that I'm trying to set up a date with so lets continue working on that. I'd really just like to hang out with my buddies this weekend though and watch some football. Takeways: These other guys that swept these women off of their feet have something that I don't have, we want to figure out what this is. I also want to figure out how to bounce back when my confidence is shot. I did like and appreciate how polite the women were that rejected me, of course it always hurts, but it felt like each one of them took my feelings into consideration. Thank you for reading my vent. If you have any advice or questions, let me know. We all deserve love.

You have a recurring thought, could be anything You don't want this thought to continue running through your head You start repeating a phrase to yourself that is the opposite of that thought When thoughts are repeated to yourself, they are being inserted into your brain like a filing cabinet Eventually, some of the papers from the filing cabinet will start to float up to the surface When this happens, your mind starts to envision a life in which this thought became a reality You start to take action because how can you resist this tasty and delicious vision

The things that women want out of a man is a hint to a man as to where he needs to go next. You don't want the action to be taken in order to please the woman or to gain her acceptance, it is being done by you, for you, not her. Allow her to guide you... Surrender yourself to the feminine and you will find your authentic masculinity

Things don't just happen for you, you still have to put in the work, but positive affirmations are the catalyst to more positive visions, which will motivate you to get out there and make them come true

You're welcome and we appreciate you as well

Hmmm.. interesting.. It takes a lot of prep... And I'll admit that I am learning how to dance in order to get laid. I am premeditatively doing something in order to get laid on a larger time scale.. And I don't view that as creepy... I wonder why that is..

It's a swear word in your head, you don't know the meaning behind the word in someone else's head

I don't like the premeditation. That's what feels creepy to me. To me, it's got to be authentic and natural and organic for it to go smoothly. That's the only time an interaction with a female goes well for me.

Love this. We men overanalyze everything, especially women and interactions with women because we crave their approval and attention and affection

Thank you, I agree

He lives it by being in touch with his sexuality He understands what it means to be turned on He understands how to communicate his sexual desire for a woman (and not just in a verbal way, but non verbal as well, he knows how to use his body) He understands how to talk to women in a way that makes them feel comfortable He is always receptive to the "yield" and "stop" signs the girl gives him and responds accordingly He leads her in a direction but with conscious awareness of her safety and needs

What is a man that embodies non- creepiness? What are his qualities? What are his values? How does he live his life?

I had a breakthrough last night. When I was driving home from the salsa club, at one point, a thought popped into my head, "I was being a bitch." I was immediately triggered and felt emotional. I said out loud "stop talking to yourself like that," and not in a scolding way, but in a loving and compassionate way, as if I care about this character that I am, as if I actually want to love him, as if I want what's best for him, I want him to have love and be loved "I was being a bitch" has been a constant thought running through my head for years. A vision comes along with it of me failing to do something or being fearful. At the time, I didn't know that it was even possible to recondition my thoughts into ones that are more uplifting and empowering.

Self Love Entry #1 All of this pick up stuff and dating aspirations has gotten me to go down the path of self love. This is a necessary path if I am going to be able to express myself fully and authentically around women and be the best version of myself for them. Right now, I am not taking a hiatus from dating. According to the book The War of Art, you should not take breaks from things. Yes I do need to decompress and shift my mindset, but a break is not what's needed, it more of like a pendulum swinging back towards the other side. I opened myself up towards love, but I opened up too much. I was too invested and head over heels in love with people that I couldn't see straight. I was unhinged, doing wild things, seeking approval and validation constantly. After some mistakes with women, I have realized that I want to swing the pendulum back the other way and not care at all about people's perceptions of me and to be completely non needy from approval of others, especially women. This is what brings me down the path of self love. In order to not need anything from other people, to be completely independent of their approval or of their love for me, I will need to be able to give myself the love.

We're playing in the game now No longer sitting on the bench No one wants to ride the bench We'd rather fall deeper in love with life

Lmao you don't like to sugar coat things, huh?? I do appreciate the bluntness though. And you're right, girls just want to have fun, and I'm too worried about making sure she approves of me that I don't allow myself to just enjoy the experience. I'm needy for her approval, I know this. This hurts to hear.. but with truth comes pain.

@Parallax Mind will you be participating as well?