Whitney Edwards

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Hello. I've something to confess. Years ago I was indoctrinated by a friend against jews. He would call them evil etc. His indoctrination continued for a significant period of time during which I began to believe what he said. Now with the Gaza conflict, my wounds from all the indoctrination have resurfaced and I have some trauma around the subject. I no longer believe whatever filth I used to and I have decided to keep an open mind. Is there a way to overcome all this bs brainwashing? Help me.

I still try to study evil as much as possible and I can say that I'm not very successful with it.

Forum crashed lol.

OK. (I thought this wasn't going to repeat)

You can have your party lol, I'm out. I'm not going to support bullies and cowards and therein lies my integrity. And my bravery lies in my integrity and decency. I'm never going to stoop low and support people who intimidate others. Have fun. In vulnerability also lies courage.

Ok Scheezop. Thanks

Why?

And mugs.

There would be a special Kool Aid called Leoke like Coke! Everyone would drink it and get enlightened instantly, everyone will start looking at their hands and imagine rats and wolves..

This is a good point. I'll remember it.

When I said sex was never free, I didn't mean in a financial way. I meant that sex needs work. To be sexually attractive to someone. To get their attention. To give them attention. To be worthy of their attention and space in their hearts. When you win someone, it's easy to get sex, whether you're man or woman, sex is the culmination of the hard work you put in. Why should it be given away to someone who has put in no effort. Then sex will have no inherent value. Sex produces intimacy for the man, also for the woman. Why should such intimacy be thrown away at random like bread crumbs. Sex is especially important to women. Sex will never exist for nothing. It's available to those who put the right effort to get it. Both men and women. This means having or creating your dream relationship, having the courage to approach, having the courage to explore romantic experiences, carefully crafting your path around your sexual needs, having the commitment needed to marry someone you like, or at least having the audacity to be with a hooker. Some people don't even want to step out of their door. Why should someone like that deserve sex? Sex is a pleasurable activity. To attain this pleasure also needs a bit of work. Whether it's money or work or anything else, everything in this world is transactional.

Plus making a woman feel like you're getting sex from her without actually doing anything in return makes women feel exploited or taken advantage of. Women rarely open their legs to men. So when they do, there's some expectations there that you gotta fulfill for them.

If your only objective with women is to get laid, then you can easily find and pay hookers and escorts. Paying them will help them earn some money too. I guess you want free sex. Lol. If you told a hooker that you won't be paying her, she will be angry. Sex is like food and entertainment. You can't get it for free. You gotta give something to get something. In this case, you gotta work hard to be a bf to a woman, wife a woman or pay a hooker for sex. You gotta do at least one of those options. Sex has never been free. You should know it.

Is it called Leoke?

@Princess Arabia maybe you can say incompatible. Wrong sounds bad. Lol.

Now I'm on hot pursuit. I'm on the trail. (not the Appalachian one).. I'm now realizing that the rabbit hole goes much deeper. This was way deeper than I thought. I realize how deeply and badly hurt I am. As I go deeper and deeper into this rabbit hole all I see are chains and chains and chains and chains. Chains linking all the pieces of the puzzle. One popular definition of gaslighting is - everything is your fault.

Remember that even what you did was for your own needs. Not for my needs. Pleasure leads to pain. To me they both are same. One important piece of information is the word conflict.

What's a wrong type of woman?

And this is the Most valuable insight on my past - If you want something truly valuable, you have to get down to the dirty, you have to do the dirty work. You can't expect a truly rewarding experience without getting your hands dirty. And that's why you never get it. Because you just don't wanna go through shit. Guess what, shit is real like Leo says.

I need a partner who is emotionally strong. Not someone who casually dumps me on the go. For me a relationship can only work if there's massive levels of trust and security and implicit trust and intimacy. Someone who has known me for a long time and is not afraid to be vulnerable with me, in turn making me feel better being vulnerable with them too.

Be on the lookout. On one hand you could be dealing with someone who is overtly hurtful. On the other, you could have someone who doesn't appear overtly disrespectful, yet you can see signs either of desperation or loneliness or negativity. Broken people. It's nice to help someone once in a while. But sometimes that neediness can turn into vampiring. Someone being excessively clingy. Developing intimacy too quickly. I forgot to talk about fake intimacy. I forgot to talk about cold shoulder treatment and the harm it causes.

Shower me with all the pleasantness and then leave me in the ditch.

You'll not even ever listen to me. Because it bruises your ego. You'll simply flip through my pain. It's not important to you. I meant nothing? I really loved you. But you could care less. You could care less about my feelings. You wanted to protect yourself from getting hurt. So. It was a zero sum game. Either you were gonna be hurt or me. And you chose me instead. To protect yourself? Does this look fair and justified to you? You hurt me. It's plain and simple. Your mental illness hurt me. It wasn't my obligation to serve you. You vampired on me for your emotional needs and left so much harm and damage in the wake? I suffered weeks and months of mental trauma, strife and frustration. Do you care to listen?

Do you realize how much harm you have caused me? I was about to suffer a heart attack during our relationship. I'm sensitive. My only closure right now is that you're schizophrenic. I feel like we met in a mental asylum. It's a shit show. Yes, I have empathy for someone who is deeply mentally ill, but your suffering is not my lot. It shouldn't be. I am not your tampon. Long ago you talked about vampires. You're a vampire yourself. Look at you. Look at what you did. You used to preach me on love and peace. Yet you were the one who dumped me and walked away. Look at who sucked the life out of me. Isn't this what vampires do? What have you achieved out of this? My destruction? Are you happy now? I tried so hard to convince you that I'm safe. And right here right now, this is my struggle. This is called the real struggle. The struggle of being in a relationship with a mentally ill person. You simply left without explanation or closure. Leaving me in a ditch to deal with the aftermath. Not a care in the world how I would cope with it. What did you think? You'll never take accountability for your part in all of this, putting all the blame squarely on me. And this is the ultimate peak of the struggle. Come out of a relationship feeling guilted and blamed, although it's no fault of mine. I am at fault for certain things I agree, but it's not entirely my own fault. No. It's not. You did things that I have to cope with now. Things that are extremely painful and hurtful to deal with.