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I think for most people to truly understand peace there needs to be some level of deep suffering beforehand. Would peace still be peace if there was nothing to oppose it? Of course this can be very subjective - some people suffer over money, while some have only maybe $200 in their account or perhaps nothing at all and they are some of the happiest people you can meet. Relative to the big picture, suffering has its place as it can drive people to pursue the path to enlightenment. I remember first getting into self-help because of my bad habit with alcohol which was starting to affect me mentally and it inadvertently lead me to spirituality a few years down the road.

Firstly, sorry to hear you're going through this. It's not easy when those sorts of emotions are running high, but it's always possible to return to your normal state of happiness and peace. Second, is there anything in particular you suspect might be causing these feelings to occur frequently? Is it something material you could work to change (your body/fitness, finances, security, relationships etc.)? If this is something you're feeling more existentially then I would just approach it with curiosity, but also don't take whatever you mind/ego says too seriously. Our minds can run rampant if we stay up there too long. Ironically the best cure for this is to simply sit in a quiet space and go through a meditation experience (doesn't have to be deep, 20-30 minutes is pretty good). When you merely observe what is, and accept that as whatever is the case, a sense of space from consciousness flows through you, and you will feel more at peace and happy.

I've been looking to enter a state of complete no mind like when I was a little kid - no thought, just total presence. I've been meditating consistently for 40-60 minutes. It's definitely nice although at some point throughout the day I'll have some pretty intrusive/aggressive thoughts and I'm on the border of becoming schizo again. Has anyone had a similar experience? What worked best for you?

I've recently had the notion to resume taking shrooms but only in low doses (0.4g dried is usually just enough for me). Although the last few times I've measured and been about to take them I've always had an overwhelming anxiety come over me. I've never had a bad experience before except the one time I did 2g dried. Since then I rarely ever do above 1g. Does anyone else still experience fear despite having taken them before? Would you still take a low dose in spite of being apprehensive or is it best to leave it?

As said above, go sit and rest somewhere comfortable. Sometimes entering a different room in the house can make you feel more settled as well.

Assuming you're doing cold approach correctly you're already doing all a guy can do, really. Just keep going out as often as you can to places where you can meet girls. Clubs, parties, even a shopping mall or something. Sometimes it's just your luck and when the odds are in your favor a girl can even approach without any effort on your part.

I was off this forum for a little while as I was dealing with some emotional issues I was having relating to past trauma, and I was also making attempts to find my own place again and find a job that I could stick out for as long as I could. My main issue that I deal with is I have these very intense reactions towards things my parents done to me when I was much younger and coping with the aftermath of it all. I sometimes scream and become so terrified. It hasn't happened in a long time although the last time it did my neighbor called the cops on me and I had to explain to the officers that there was nobody home except me - and that I was just an aspie losing my mind over basically nothing. I read two of Eckhart Tolle's books (The Power of Now and New Heaven, New Earth) as well as a Steve Taylor book that described cases of people having profound awakenings when they experienced trauma (I can't remember the name right now). I've discovered that 90% of the issue was that I was too entrenched in my false sense of self (ego) and that I was using time to keep the illusion of past alive. I've been able to talk myself down when I experience the onset of my panic attacks - I can stay grounded in the now instead of reenacting a 'past'. I wouldn't say I feel depressed or unhappy but I'm not particularly enthusiastic in the present either. My goal is to see if I can experience pure love and joy as often as I can without exploiting alcohol and drugs like I used to (although I still micro-dose mushrooms every 2 or 3 weeks). For anyone else on here that's experienced craziness in their life and isn't sure whether they can comeback from it and truly heal - you can. It might take a lot of time, and you might not feel any ecstatic sense of joy at first. You can learn to feel peace in the now, which might not be the happy buzz you're after, but that will come on its own and it will sweep you away.

It doesn't feel like a prison when we're newborn. To be alive itself feels amazing and everything is fresh and pristine. The key, so to speak, would be to undo the years of bad programming from our parents and peers that deepened our sense of ego and return to our blissful, natural state of existence itself.

Hi there. I'm afraid I don't know what you've been through and what's lead you to wanting this, if it's any consolation there are people you may not realize need you and would be heartbroken if you were gone (you may not have met them yet). From a practical point of view I'd highly recommend you re-consider and seek help: either from friends, family or from a professional. If you're not comfortable doing so then you should at least do things to take your mind off it and see if you can get into a state of flow where there's no mind. No mind = no problem. As Leo once said in a video, if you die, you won't go anywhere. We don't wisp away - there's only this one space where anything can happen. And it won't cure our current pain either.

I used to do web programming so the transition to a designer type who's responsible for the layout and presentation of web apps was always a decent path to fallback on. I don't know what industry you're involved in but there's usually a more management side of things as you mentioned. You could look into how to secure clients or do some networking (assuming you're with a company, you'd maybe need to persuade someone within that company to transition into that kind of role if you were hired as a developer). There's always HR which - although I hate it personally - doing HR duties in a software company with a coding background would be make it so much easier for applicants putting their resume in. You'll be able to communicate with them on the same level during interviews unlike with HR who usually don't know what their meant to be looking from a developer's point of view.

This idea (or rather this truth) startled me at first but when you pin it down to what you're experiencing anyways, not much changes. You can still enjoy the physical sensation of hugging somebody. Having a good social time with friends. Although it's imagined in the absolute sense you're not gonna be fully open minded to it while you're doing your daily activity.

I've only done 1g doses but I did 2g dried which is considered to be the norm. Although for me personally it was pretty creepy and I was also physically ill with a headache and bad nausea. A friend told me she done 5g dry once and it didn't turn out well. She had to take benzos just to calm down because of how freaked out she was. Not to say there's somebody out there who maybe had the time of their lives on 5g. But if you ask me it takes an extraordinary individual to come out of that kind of trip unscathed.

Have you heard of our lord and savior Baldurs Gate 3

I always felt skeptical about whether or not I truly needed to seek professional help. I'd always have an excuse that was either I'm not THAT bad or I just don't have the money. The truth is that I consider myself to be a pretty low conscious person. Every day I have the same traumatic scenarios from childhood playing out in my mind and it leads me to having violent outburts where I scream and sometimes do something physical (punching and breaking my bathroom mirror, throwing objects, throwing punches as if the person who hurt me is standing in front of me etc.) Most recently I punched myself and left a pretty nasty bruise on my lip. I'd call that self harm and that's definitely a valid excuse to chase up a professional. A lot of the videos from Actualized have helped shift my mind about things in a super helpful way and I'm grateful for them (letting go, forgiveness, survival, awareness etc, taking mushrooms in small doses made me feel briefly happier as well). I just think there comes a time when if its not enough and problems like this persist, sometimes getting input from a professional is needed. Especially if its the only thing that I haven't tried yet. I've honestly been waking up scared to leave bed to face the day because of how frequent and aggressive these panic attacks are. It's become my default state of being. I'd rather not live life at all if its gonna be this way. I want to heal and I have a strong drive to do whatever it takes so I don't care about spending a few hundred if it means I can get to experience being seen by someone who's qualified. Even if it turns out not to be what I expected, at least I can have a direct experience of it. My main goal in life at this point is that I just want to be seen as a nice, well-rounded guy by my friends. There's no way I'm letting my experience with my shitty parents get me so down to the point where I start to infect others with my anger.

Thanks for the positive messages everyone! Minor update since I had my initial session. I was told the first session would mainly be for the counselor to get an idea of who I was and what was bothering me so. We spoke for an hour and there wasn't much to take away since they were mostly just asking me a series of questions on where I'm at. I got a random message from them afterwards requesting payment for this initial session. This confused me and it's left me miffed to be honest because in our first email exchange I specially asked them if there was anything I should expect in terms of payment/time and so on. They only told me what date and time we could speak for an initial first session. Had they said from the onset that they would charge I would've been okay with this but I'm annoyed they didn't tell me upfront and I'm now on the fence about continuing forward. I don't feel inclined to pay what they're asking when they didn't really give me any advice.

If you play your cards right you could live until you're 80 or even 90. There's plenty of time to still turn things around in your favour. In terms of being financially independent/having your own business, it might be harder as you get older, but it's still possible if you're of sound mind. It's not an even playing field. Some people live off their parents until they've laid the foundations for their own enterprise. Just focus on what's best for you going forward. Keep your head on you and don't compare yourself to the success of others.

You can always nab the Adobe suite on a free trial to start. Afterwards Shotcut is a free video editing program that doesn't have strings attached to use.

@TheCloud If it turns out not to be effective then at least I can say I gave it a shot. I feel like I'll also be able to fallback on self improvement a lot easier since I'll know for certain that it's the best thing I can do to better myself.

You define what success is on your own terms, but even then, late 20's is still pretty young. You get people in their mid 30s who only just started going to college and stuff. I wouldn't compare yourself to other people and beat yourself up. Things tend to fall into place with virtually no effort when everything aligns itself.

As someone who's personally skeptic of conventional treatment due to bad experiences, I read a book on CBT and it does have some value. CBT can touch on mindfulness which was one of my first openers to spirituality. If it works for you then by all means incorporate it into your day to day life. The only thing I didn't like was that CBT kept me inside my mind, attempting to solve problems on the same level of the mind. I had to go meta a bit to realize that sometimes the brain will 'solve' a 'problem' and it can be a bottomless pit. Psychology seems to have this pitfall where some people continuously race around in the mind and forget that there's a lot of cases where stepping out the mind and simply just being and give massive feelings of bliss and relief.

I'm not a professional but when I had back pain from a pretty big sedentary lifestyle I started standing nearby the window while I drank my coffee in the morning instead of sitting down at my PC, seemed to really help.

Different substances effect different people in their own, unique way. It's worth giving it a few tries in low doses. If it's really not doing it for you then at least you can say you gave it a chance.

When you realize you are God, you know there's a distant separation between the real you and your ego. It's only the false/lesser-self who projects and creates bias, which can cause mental problems.

Keep large gatherings to a minimum and just accept that other people might not be on the same level of you in terms of personal development.

I'm actually fucking sick of this. Done everything I know in the book so far. Meditation, learning forgiveness, mindfulness practices, letting go. I have constant flashes in my day to day about shit with my mother and violent arguments that transpired. It doesn't matter whether I'm in good spirits or having a really depressive episode - it always happens. I've watched almost every actualized video related to this predicament. I can understand things like letting go and that the past is a concept on an intellectual level. But I don't feel it. I can't FEEL. All I feel is VIOLENCE and SHIT day after day. If I'm truly this far gone then what else can be done? Are some people just lost causes? At this point in time I feel I can either check myself into the emergency room for the fucking fifth time for having a manic episode like this. Or if suicide isn't part of the equation I can just self-medicate on alcohol/drugs and become a zombie again. What am I doing wrong here? I keep telling myself just to stop thinking about it all. When that doesn't work I tell myself to let it in/just allow it. Neither seems to work. My default state is a fucked up loser who just physical juts and reacts as if the fights are happening for real over and over again.