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@Leo Gura Alright... I'm getting a clearer picture. This is the first forum I've tried so I'll get the hang of it

@Gesundheit2 well thats what my status is labeled... I'm new to the Forum, not to the work ?

@Leo Gura I am trying... but I have to admit your videos are rare and valuable. I've been recommending them for years. I guess I did expect something similar for the forum. Not convinced to recommend it yet. But its just my first impression... I need some time. Like I said earlier there are Actualizers out there, thanks to you! Don't give up on us... it seems like I can feel the frustration and I hope it doesn't go too far

@aurum Hello there! And thank you... I may be a newbie to this Forum, but I'm not a newbie to Actualized.org. I agree with you... in fact I know this has been a gem for my work. Leo has helped me be clear with my intentions. I knew I could Awaken and I've been doing solid conscious personal work for five years to achieve it. Leo was someone who was further along then myself which was helpful, but even in my mind I had a joking competitiveness towards him on my journey. He knows a lot, but so do I, and so do others. That's what I was hoping to find... elevated conversations. Nice to meet you.

@Yimpa Hey there! We realize language is very symbolic and limited, but when we're typing words to convey as sense of communication...I guess there's an assumption of intelligence that's going to interpret fairly close to the message being said. Let's see if we try to bring ourselves to a human speaking with another human for the moment... is that ok with you? I understand to assume makes an ass out of you and me... so I can start clarification and maybe you can clarify your definition afterwards. Real work has actually changed for me quite recently. First, my personal real work was to experience Awakening or Enlightenment... I thought it might take almost my entire lifetime to achieve that. I was wrong... it took me five years of dedicated focused work. Technically I've always been doing the work but I wasn't conscious of it, but once I was... it didn't take me long. After my Awakening I've been taking a long time to be comfortable with my transformation. Now I see the real work for me is to help the collective to Awaken and also to follow what guidance I've been receiving with my new sensitivites to continue to create and master this experience I'm involved in. How about you? Real life... when I'm talking casually with other humas, I refer to this shared experience that we seem to feel is the physical waking world. I was open to see where I ended up during and after my Awakening, and I returned back here in real life. For some reason I share this real life with others and I'm going to continue my real work in this real life. If you enjoy the work... it nevers stops. How about you?

@Gesundheit2 Thanks for your advice... I've been doing the work with Actualized for six years now. I've been quite serious with it. I was curious to see who would be in this forum and what people are focused on. I thought maybe this would be a distraction before so I hadn't logged in here earlier. I have some spare time so I'm giving it a chance. Was surprised to read some of the interactions... didn't know if a change would be good or not

@Vrubel I see your profile picture... are you an artist by chance? Is that you're personal work? When you say obsessed with art... I can relate, but there's so much the mind can assume from that. I'm trying to clarify if you happen to be an artist, because I am as well. I use deep creativity in the zone connections to help self-process and can apply my process into other areas of my life. Can you relate to what I'm saying? I apologize... I'm new to this forum and to forums in general, so I'm trying it out. I'm hoping it's ok for me to just spill out my feelings; maybe it can help. I try to find everything as a form of growth. So, I can try to give you an example that's more general and then personal to try to give you an idea of what I'm trying to say. I'll start with drawing and painting. I love drawing because of all the detail I get absorbed in and painting because I just allowed myself to not think as much and free flow more. Through my progression of making art has gone through a lot and still transforming. I love that this love of the process will never end. When I was young and developing my skills... I really just loved learning and I found it easier for me then others say in educational settings to increase my skills technically. I thought maybe to be an artist. I assumed I had to make artwork that others would enjoy if I was going to be able to make any money from that. A long story shorter I found that so miserable. In my mind I felt like I was selling out. It was hard for me to connect with the artwork because it truly wasn't me that I was expressing. It was me using my skills to create something but using others' opinions to direct my attention. I decided that creating my own artwork I'm actually interested in was far more satisfying for me. Because it was so personal, I never really wanted anyone to see these pieces because it makes me vulnerable. Since I still wanted art to be a part of my life, I decided to become an art teacher instead. Fortunately for me at that time one position was instructing painting classes for 2 or 3 hours depending on whether the students were children or adults. The other position was elementary after school art programs where we focused on a growth mindset and exploration. Because I was the teacher and loved learning... I gained so much value from these positions. The first position I finally was able to create artwork quicker. I wasn't allowed to create my unusual artwork which at first, I didn't like. But because I was required to make simple paintings, I was able to really complete a large body of work. Before this I took forever to complete a piece because I was striving for perfection. The second position with the kiddos was amazing for me. I'm a bit of a wild child myself. I didn't setup the space where they are sitting in one spot the entire time... I'd have them move to different spots interacting with each other instead of separated from each other. They wanted to be good artists and they assumed that they needed to follow my instructions and try to get as close as possible to what I was doing. For the most part I'm giving direction, but when people made mistakes... that's where the real work and real creative opportunities are. At first, I had students crying at this point of mistakes. They couldn't see how their work was going to be anything like mine. I'd explain that this is the perfect opportunity for you to make it more your own. Let's come up with different options you can do at this time. If they didn't have any ideas, we'd open it to the class, and everyone had ideas. They would ultimately have to choose the new direction they wanted their work to go. By the end of the semester the children would still try to follow along with me, but when they made "mistakes" there was a sense of excitement instead of crisis. Now there's a lot of information I gave... Let's get a little deeper now and see how this can be applied to ourselves and maybe it can be applicable to you and your dating life (which is where we want some guidance, right?) We can find that we can think about the big picture and at the details at the same time. Finding a balance is the work. I found areas in art where I found myself more consumed by the details (drawing) and other areas where I felt more relaxed and freer (painting). My suggestion is when you are approaching women for the first approach you want to draw on experiences where you are more relaxed and freer. In the big picture, approaching this woman is not going to be a life-or-death situation. Go into it with curiosity... you don't know whether you two will click or not. Try to detach from the outcome. I know it's challenging, but we'll touch on more details further along with examples. Because you are using environments that you're actually interested in... check your feelings before you approach. Are you relaxed? If not take the time to observe the environment... the artwork or the garden... connect yourself before approaching. You've got locations where people aren't usually rushed. People usually take their time in museums and parks so don't worry about missing your chance with that particular chick. Honestly, it's better to let them leave then it is to approach when your energy isn't relaxed. We can sense these subtle energies of emotions, well at least I can. I can tell whether someone's tensed or relaxed. If you're relaxed, you'll be more likely not to act too quickly or desperately. When it comes to the conversation you choose, maybe you can start by a bigger picture question and then if there is reciprocation switch to more details. When it came to creating artwork, I found that I wasn't happy trying to figure out what other people will like. I find it more fulfilling to create what speaks to me. This is crucial for relationships. I'm going to assume you enjoy Leo's work because you see the value of working on your own personal development. We are the piece of art, and we are the artist. Essentially, we are working on ourselves so we can be more authentic. Authenticity is attractive. Possibly you may be thinking what does this woman think is attractive in a man? I hope to cut this thinking shorter for you. Develop yourself to stop thinking about what does someone else think (at least at the beginning). I'd suggest focusing more on what makes you, You. Do you feel authentic? Do you feel comfortable in who you are? If you want quality women, then you should assume they want quality men. A quality man isn't putting on layers of facade they think others will like more. You want to attract women who are attracted to you. Now I'm going to assume you are trying out new techniques because you are developing yourself into a more authentic version... which is great! Maybe see this as a process though... this is a long-term journey. If you feel like your self-esteem needs a lot of work... you'll be attracting women who will actually confirm that to you. They be more likely to be critical to confirm to your insecurities. If you're at the point that you don't care you just want a woman... then hopefully you can keep this in mind. You can learn a lot from this relationship, but it may hinder your growth potential. But it might be exactly what you need to continue your understanding. This is a good opportunity to compare this to when I was instructing simple paintings. It was beneficial to me when I wasn't striving for perfection. I had a lot of results by repetitively painting simple paintings. Through repetition and with less emotional attachment I was gaining a lot of experience. You can apply this to relationships as well. If you're still dead set at attracting women at the stage you're at... ask yourself honestly where are you? If you have a growing self-esteem then maybe you're not really looking for long-term relationships with women. Not all women are looking for that either. If you're just wanting to gain experience with women on a sexual basis, fine, then you can communicate that to the woman. I've been through many stages in my sexual development. I've had one-night stands... I had friends with benefits... I used to be involved with polyamorous relationships too. I lived through these experiences to understand what I was actually looking for in sex and relationships with men. Hell, I was in a thirteen-year relationship when I was young. I didn't realize that the dysfunctional state I was at wasn't going to create a healthy relationship I desired. I wasn't healthy. I chose celibacy because I want to develop myself so thoroughly that I'm going to attract and be attracted to men who saw this valuable as well. The healthier you are the more you will be pickier with your relationships. Because I've been single, I've found purpose in my life. I know who I'm developing into and open to know more of me. Before I wanted to forget my passions and just figure out how to be with my partner... I was very needy and inauthentic. You are in a process... you will be, and be ok with that... eventually you'll get extremes amount of joy knowing there's not a destination and only opportunities to gain. Where are you in your self-development? That can help you understand how to possibly approach your relationships with women at your current state. This leads into the after-school program focused on "growth mindset". You are going to be making "mistakes". These kids in a couple of months went from crisis mode and crying to learning to get curious and even excited for potential in themselves when they made mistakes. We can do this too... everywhere. For some reason we are God who enjoys the games that comes with learning and creating. At first, we won't enjoy them, but the more we put ourselves in these situations the easier it gets which actually leads to joy. This is where I cannot really do the work for you... I can be another student giving you suggestions... You have to make the choice and see if it works for you or not. It's good to see you're putting yourself out there... just keep doing what you're doing... gaining experience and making adjustments as you learn. I'm going to conclude with your only opener... "I like your style". Does that work for you? I could see that working for some... I'm not sure. In general try to maybe think about questions to ask as well instead of comments. Of course having a combination of both is ideal, but if you are asking a question then you're allowing her to talk more and gives you more clues on what to continue the conversation with. Keep in mind that if you're the only one asking the questions then maybe question if she is even interested in you? You're looking for equally reciprocated relationships. You are interesting so make sure she knows that. If she doesn't' care to know who you are, then it's ok to move on. Back to "I like your style"... that's a good statement and I think women would like that compliment, but... you could wait to say that once you are in the conversation. I'm not saying I know what everyone likes, but I can give you my opinion on what I would like. If you start by using that line, then automatically I know you are talking about my physical appearance. If I'm looking for physical connection, then I might continue to see where it goes. If I'm looking for deeper connection, then I might say thank you, smile, but then walk away. If you start practicing on starting the conversation differently to test out if there's an opportunity to carry on a conversation with the woman.... then you say I like your style... it will be perceived differently. Again, how I could respond. Ok... I'm comfortable with this guy, and he seems to be able to keep a conversation with me which is a plus. And he said he likes my style... hmmm? I am wondering if he's talking about my looks or my personality... let's see what he says. I'd ask you in return, what about my style do you like? You could respond with a comment that says you like both my personality and my looks. For me that's a better way for you to tell me you're physically attracted because you took the time to at least get a feel for who I am first. In fact, I'd probably go onto to tell you how much I like to design and sew my clothes. If I'm wearing a piece, I've done then I'll let you know... and so the conversation continues. Do you see the difference? If you are an artist, then maybe you can think of it this way. Do you like people just giving you a compliment about your work? Or do you prefer people who are more curious about your process of making your work? I hope this helps

@Devin I want to promote healthier and happier humans. I tend to be that comfortable woman.

@Devin Well you're definitely helping me convey why I'm trying to recommend dancing. Absolutely, it's an extremely condusive environment even for guys who might be shy and afraid of rejection. These are the guys I'm hoping to encourage. Speed dating can be a good way of putting it as well. Hardly anyone is going to be upset or taking it personally when they switch around. I don't know if its just me, but I enjoyed when others were attracted to my partner too. It felt satisfying to know that... but I got to take them home. I feel the classes are the safe start. Its beneficial to be able to pickup the subtlties of women expressing reciprical attraction. There's differences in smiles, looks, and touches. Helps men understand when a girl is just being nice or she's wanting more. Also helps them understand what their body language is communicating as well. But the classes can get you in the comfort zone fairly quickly. There's a different dynamic when they actually go out to clubs.

@NoSelfSelf Yes I agree that some masculine men won't accept friendzone, especially if their primary purpose with a feminine is only sexual in nature. In fact with your comments, I'd assume you don't have any reservations with your confidence in finding females. Most of my friends are males and I could probably agree that they are more of a combination of masculine and feminine, as am I. I don't have any issue embracing my masculine side and telling a man I'm not interested when I know their only focus is sex. We've found more to talk about other than sex... especially with me I love to talk to them about self-mastery, awakening, and what purpose they want to create in their lives. Lol... that's majority of what I like to talk about. Some people just crave attention and communication from someone else. Most are the nice guy types which I love, but I also see why they have issues finding feminine interactions that result in the lack of sex or deep connections. They are not realizing the attractiveness for strong masculine energy... the ones I'm trying to assist usually need to gain more confidence and leadership to develop their masculinity with their presence. Again, most are nice guys and even want to put the feminine on a pedestal which definitely repels in sexual attraction. We try to create balance within ourselves, so we don't have to put anyone or ourselves on a pedestal. And partner dancing can help build qualities they are lacking in a more subtle way where they don't have to be everything, they think they're not all at once. They can ease into it if that's their temperament. And yes, there is plenty of opportunities for game. Many people are successful, and I was myself. But obviously it's not the only way... as you say women are everywhere. But if someone's interested in maturing feminine... we'd like the masculines to see us for many qualities not exclusively sexually but inclusively. @Leo Gura Yeah I agree with your direct approaches. And your suggestions would get results quicker than my own recommendation. That's why I was personally drawn to your teachings. I'm just giving the socially awkward guy options if they're intimidated in the balls to the walls approach. Yes dance classes will lack in their experience with women directly. That's just to help a bit of confidence and orient them into a new system before getting them out into the dance venues where they can really apply themselves. @Devin Exactly... in fact thank you, I forgot to mention that the ratio is in favor of the masculine. Females end up learning both lead and follow because we lack males to dance with. Did you gain enough experience where you ask women to dance wherever you are? @Vrubel If you're looking for a less direct form of game, have you considered partner dancing? It could be something to try out. I can feel masculines who are uncomfortable in just being in feminine energies. You can work this idea of being awkward out of your system when you're literally sharing close personal space. Women who want to dance with men allow you in their space. You can be awkward at first, so can we... but we're taking a chance together to see where it goes. This is the work and to be consciously aware of. It's not like women don't find friendliness attractive, but extreme friendliness? I might need a little more to know what you're saying but I might understand. It's ok for someone to have boundaries. Friendly and respectful in a conversation= good. Creating best friend material, the first time we talk= no good. That leads to the concern about seeming pushy or needy to have a conversation. For me neediness is the most unappealing and frequent quality I run into. First, I had to realize that needy quality was in myself which seems like you do as well. Mine seemed to be geared towards a lack mentality and desire for attention. You're looking for the highest quality chicks at museums and gardens... nice! Do you have your own personal interests in these areas? If you do, then you can create conversation fairly easy. I'm not certain what type of museums, but as an example an art museum... you see her lingering on a specific painting... tell her you noticed she seemed to be attracted to this specific piece... you're curious why? Take a moment to hear what she says, but you can also observe the same piece and feel out what that piece does for you. If you conversation seems to flow then continue, but if not... she's not the only quality chick there. Even if you end the conversation with a simple interesting and literally walk away... and leave it as that; is great. If she was really engaged in the conversation, then you'll get her thinking... was I interesting? was the comments I said interesting? The more she can think about you after you leave the better. You can also really work on trying to find moments of direct eye contact. That's really crucial. Not only in their personal space, but when there's distance between you too. I can't help to bring it back to dance, but when it comes to a tango malonga... that's how you connect with a partner to ask to dance. If your eyes meet and you continue to be able to look at each other in interest, then you walk towards each other to meet on the dance floor. When it comes to the gardens, allowing people to enjoy the environment by themselves is the assumption I would take. I wouldn't assume they go to the gardens to find conversation with strangers, so if you feel like the conversation isn't going anywhere... it's ok walk away and use the natural environment to calm and relax you... it doesn't have to be a failure; they may not need human interaction in nature. Now if I as a woman find myself having a fun conversation with a man while I'm in the gardens it would be an added bonus, but it would be a pleasant surprise not an expectation. I'm not sure if you like dogs or not, but visiting parks where people like to walk their dogs could be another chance where women have an open expectation to have men approach. I guess when I'm suggestion dance... you gain qualities that you can ultimate use elsewhere.

@BartekD I can relate to your statement. Ayahuasca was the source I used to Awaken as well. I was drawn to work in the jungle with shamans and found surprisingly enough that I have gift or talents in shamanism too. I've been training for five years, but in a mixed non-traditional/ traditional way. I was doing my first shamanic dieta training for three months when I experienced it (November 2021- January 2022). I traveled around Peru for another five months afterwards on a high. This had been the longest time I spent in Peru and also the most ceremonies. I had 20 ceremonies in 8 months. But I finally realized how much I was craving sanctuary. There was a tremendous profound shift I experienced, and I needed time and personal space to understand and live with this new awareness. Did you go through the phase of your awakening where everything was foreign or new to you? When I opened up my eyes, I saw my hands and looked at my body as if it was the first time I ever saw this thing. I had no words labeling anything. I started looking around and seeing shapes, but I wasn't registering what it was that I was experiencing. It was so fresh and so powerful. After a time, everything started coming back. I remember looking at my shaman and he was smiling and shaking his head... he said man, you learn fast. A few weeks earlier he tried to get me to transition. But when he was helping me, I was interpreting as my physical death, and I resisted. I was conflicted because ceremony was beautiful, but my mind was like... wait am I supposed to die now? Lol.. I was depressed and upset the next day. I had a week to process before going back into ceremony so by the time I returned I knew most of me was wanting to see what that death really was. At the end of a ceremony, it just finally came to me on what I needed to do. It was like flipping a switch. It was only after the Second Awakening that I remembered Leo giving hints. The reason I mention this is because most likely you are going to come off the high. You've been doing the work obviously to reach this state of consciousness, so you probably already know. But give yourself plenty of alone time as much as you need. I found myself very sensitive and I've been in hermit/ hibernation mode for six months now. Two months solid of hardly leaving the house to really ground my experience. I also wanted to respond because you asked a question about further developing abilities... The short answer is yes, abilities can be further developed. Have you experienced Ayahuasca with shamans? A little more of my experiences towards abilities or gifts was my first glimpse of this focused practice towards Awakening. I was drawn to an Ayahuasca retreat with 11 strangers from all over the world which had 5 ceremonies in 7 days. My entire life flipped upside right and there's no looking back. I've recontextualized many of my ceremonies since but in the moment, I had no clue how to explain it. The first ceremony I was receiving visions of 8 of these strangers and they were talking to me, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I also had a deep connection to the two shamans as if they were family and I could trust them. By the second ceremony I could actually feel, hear and understand the shamans who were Shipibo as they sang in their own tongue. By the end of that ceremony, I was sitting next to the female shaman singing her Icaros in her language creating harmonies with her. I heard their language only the night before. During the session I was feeling everybody's energy and I was sending out my energy to the shamans and the guests specifically who came to me on the first night in visions. As the ceremonies continued my energy was boundless and all I desired was to share it with everyone. Even by the fifth ceremony I finally felt when the energies were settled enough to close out the session. It was kind of funny because I immediately popped up and was waiting for the shamans to signal to the lead facilitator to light the candle and announce the completion. I noticed the shaman waiving, but I could hear the facilitator snoring, so I signaled to the assistant facilitator. She came to me, and I told her ceremony is over and she said wait until they give the signal. I said the shaman is giving the signal, but he's asleep over there so he doesn't know. She said just wait until it's over... we'll let you know when it's time. She returned to her mat and then the shaman had to get up and make his way to wake up the facilitator to finalize the ceremony. I can't explain it, but I realized after these first five ceremonies that this most definitely was a calling... I would have never imagined having any shamanic tendencies until I was there. To fast forward I've been developing these skills now at 48 ceremonies of Ayahuasca (several DMT and Bufo ceremonies) but really for me it's been mostly surrendering understanding how I have these abilities. I just become a vessel and it naturally comes out as if I've been doing this forever. Maybe because I'm feminine I chose to surrender to receive. Only during my last four sessions have I been getting messages to start placing my intention into Ayahuasca before I drink. I'm getting to the point where shamans are allowing me to lead a few ceremonies. There are many abilities and talents out there, and some can be shared. Some seem to be common to most shamans. But as you already know you can focus your creativity where you wish to focus. It really doesn't matter if you use shamans or not... it's just easier to learn from others who've been developing their abilities more in those areas and more importantly who are more accepting. Being able to work on something without the collective trying to create doubt in yourself is valuable. But most of my learning still comes from myself using Aya. I know I won't need it forever; I'll develop until I don't need it. The abilities are pretty awesome to develop, but I'm getting other messages that excite me! It's like I'm getting personal missions to push and challenge myself in ways that really motivates me and explore this reality. My confidence continues to grow, but man has it been stretched to almost snapping at times even after the Awakening. I feel I could've grounded myself more before continuing. That's what I'm doing now. Your infinite mindset is crucial... what do you think is possible? As we already know... what better to do with your time? If you don't want to do it anymore, then switch it up. This reality is absolutely phenomenal, and I hope you're just as excited to see how far your potential extends in this body state.