Why does it feel like god is actively micromanaging my life, like sending me the most perfect and intelligent thoughts to guide me? Making me ask certain questions?
You explained that God doesn‘t force a being to be Loving, but when a being dies (physically) the Love is forced onto it? Wouldn‘t it be more loving (from my selfish POV) to accept it‘s selfishness and not force it to die?
I imagine the seperate self reincarnating for eternity, never reaching the god head, because god doesn‘t force it to give up it‘s false Identity. Is that possible?