Hi,
I'm stuck with a problem: my appearance. People often tell me my face looks very unusual (including random strangers in the subway), other people tell me i look like shit,
i have teleangiectasia on my nose (visible blood vessels), which is only one problem besides my big nose.
I'm 28 and haven't found a solution for this problem. I had hard times accepting that i'm not good looking, although i had my
fair share of relationships and sex the successes were mostly achieved due to my status and caring mentality.
I started to study late at the age of 25, so i'm graduating next year.
The other students are mostly younger than me, but also the older ones, including professors, reduce me to my appearance..
Getting a good mark: "no wonder, his looks tell he studies 24/7", getting a bad mark: "no wonder look at him, he's retarded"
If i let them talk, they walk all over me.. If i stand my ground and tear them up verbally: i'm the aggressive prole.
I don't think i'm that hideous, just not average, but maybe i'm just used to my appearance.
It is really fucked up, i'm not touched anymore by the constant bad feedback i get, i go my own way no matter what, but the problem is my future
profession will include client contact and i'm horrified by the idea that i won't get any job, just because my looks aren't enough, i fear
that i don't get a chance to prove my expertise.
My looks destroy every bit of hope and happiness in my life, the times when i forget about it for a while are the happiest,
but social interaction constantly reminds me of it and you can't escape it through isolation - because as human beings we need social situations.
I refuse being triggered by the opinion of others, but it doesn't relieve anything,
being not socially accepted just because your looks don't fit feels like being stuck in a dead-end.
What the fuck can i do about that? Save enough money for a property in the Yukon territory and isolate myself? I mean seriously,
i don't have a clue how i can arrange myself with this haunting nightmare. What would you do?
