Clarence

Correction: This is the actual Mexican Day of the Dead pizza. I may keep my initial Alien Intelligence pizza, whose skull and design are not human at all

Thank you. 😆 Thanks, now I can't unsee it. I'll go for more classic styles then… I need my alien intelligence pizza (I'm unable to pick one… they all look intelligent).

Alien Intelligence Pizza: take a bite of this pizza and discover what it's like to have a hyper-intelligent mind - if you dare! The pizza has a flavor that is unique to the one who tastes it and makes you experience its unique intelligence… transcending the limits of human consciousness.

The Umami Pizza Drink: a savory-sweet elixir crafted with the finest ingredients, blending rich tomato, creamy mozzarella, and subtle hints of sweetness for an unparalleled taste experience.

Sahara Pizza: scorpion meat and sandy crust

They would love it

Bonus: We Are Not Cactus Pizza

Cheesy Universe Pizza I couldn't only choose one

Intergalactic Seafood Pizza

Has it always been the case? Or was it acquired after a bit of experience with 5-MeO?

I do. I will.

That isn't true. I have many dreams in which I know I'm dreaming. Being lucid doesn't necessarily stop a nightmare. In the last lucid nightmare I had, I knew I was dreaming and I could consciously decide of my actions with the same awareness I have now, but all other characters had a will of their own and I could not decide for them. There were also events happening which were out of my control. I knew it was a night dream as I was conscious of that, but I was still strongly affected by it as a real character of the dream, just as I know now that this life is a dream, but I am still strongly affected by it. I could not just decide to wake up either. My will or state of consciousness was not strong or high enough to allow that. The same way that I can't awaken right now by my will alone. All I could do was dream until I finally woke up.

Isn't it important for men too to get in touch with their emotions, feelings and so forth? Not especially in the dating environment, but in life in general.

How was this like? Could you tell more about it? It's a very curious expression.

No, I don't. But I haven't searched for books. I listen to Matías De Stefano as an inspiration and I exchange with people around me who have that kind of gifts and can give me direct advice. I'm not very familiar. Does he also touch the topic of reincarnation? Because your question is more about that than about dreams in a sense.

@Davino I understand how that can feel. I am in a situation I really hate and still have to go through it. It's really hard. What I meant with the psilocybin trip I had is that I discovered peace in being in that situation, in doing things I didn't like or didn't want to do. I felt peace even though the situation hadn't change. Everything then was made much easier. Unfortunately it was not a miracle cure as after a week, the magic stopped (maybe my brain chemistry was better during that week and that must have helped). I couldn't reproduce that state again - also I only had one other chance to take psilocybin after that, but I still hold this memory as a reminder that the situation would be different if my state/outlook/feeling about it was different. So now I try to change my state and mindset with other methods as I think it would be of much help. I feel that having such a switch in your mind could help you too. Can't you think about some method you haven't tried that could maybe help? Also, do you even still want to work in the engineering field? If not… can't you stop the studies and start working right now in a sector that would feel better for you until you start your own business - if that's what you ultimately want?

I don't have access to my past lives either, but I think that one way to know more about them could be to meet people who have psychic abilities in this domain (such as accessing the Akashic Records, doing past life regressions or whatever works). I've been to a therapeutic healer once who told me out of the blue that I had been a monk in my (or "a", as I didn't ask) past life. The funny thing is that I had the intention to become a monastic and I had lived for 9 months in a monastery with that intention. I hadn't talked at all about that part of my life with her before she told me that. And she then said that it was not too uncommon to go back to what felt familiar (and good in the past), though it turned out it wasn't the right path for me in this life. Now I feel the need to know more about my past (past lives, but also childhood, as I have very few memories of it, and even of my ancestors, like my father or further back, as certain things are transmitted from generation to generation). I think that understanding and getting to know the past better will help me to move forwards. So my suggestion is to look for methods to do it yourself or if you can't, look for people who can help. I think that it's pretty easy to know if someone has real psychic abilities from someone who does not, so that's not really a concern - but obviously it's important to be mindful and if possible, to check with different methods and/or people. Have you ever tried one of those methods - alone or with the help of someone? It could very well be dreams from past lives but it could also be something else. It might be helpful to have other methods to verify this if you can. Though, that is just a suggestion as I am not an expert in the domain.

@Davino I have a similar struggle… it's really hard to build interest and work ethics for the most human aspects of life when consciousness work is so fascinating. I haven't found a solution for this yet either. But what I think would be of much help for me would be to go from a state of survival and dissonance to a state of flow and alignment with aspects of myself I'm not enough in touch with (like higher self, intuition, expansion… in the daily human life). That's currently what I am working on. I would also place my focus first on passion and joy - doing and going for things that I like and that I think would bring me joy, rather than on work and things that I don't really want to do but feel like I should be doing. So my focus is on finding interests again in human aspects of life, even if those are not bringing me money, for example. I think that those two aspects could improve daily human life a lot and they do not exclude going for peak experiences. There is not really a choice in the end but to find a way to combine the two in the best way we can. And the alignment and joy could help a lot to think and feel better about living as a human. So maybe focusing only on the work you should be doing to improve the human aspects of life is not inspiring enough. You might need a different approach or way of living life that doesn't exactly include that right now but which could still make you grow and lead you towards a beautiful and rewarding life (and out of this painful in-between in which you feel stuck). From reading you, I don't think you could completely put aside spirituality for some years to build an infrastructure, but reducing the time you spend into spirituality for a while to create a new balance of the two could be a possibility. What do you think about that? Could it help you change things around in your mind? Would thinking about doing it that way crush your soul all as much? I still have a lot of reflexions to do on that topic as well because it is a serious concern. It's quite a relief to know that others are struggling with that too. I agree with @LambdaDelta. Have you tried that already? I had amazing results once with psilocybin so I believe it can be very beneficial.

Yes, indeed. I hadn't thought about it that way. That's helpful, thank you. The pursuit of truth is my highest priority (but currently next to healing myself and improving my psychology). That's a good point… I really wish I had some psychic abilities from birth, but I don't. For example, I've been following the work of Matías De Stefano recently and I've been fascinated by his sharings. He remembers hundreds of his past lives and much more, and a lot of what he shares makes sense to me in a similar way that what you share as always made sense to me. Though, his whole talk and energy is very different. However I still feel that something about being interested in that is not quite right, but I can't put my finger on what that is exactly. Maybe, but not sure, that feeling could come from the fact that I deeply know that I need to explore consciousness through psychedelics much more to verify and expand my understanding of reality in a very direct way. But I can't do that now because of my life settings. So what feels wrong could be that I feel that I should be doing psychedelics first, despite the fact that what he shares and remembers is mindblowing and fascinating. Have you ever listened to Matías De Stefano? I've watched several videos of him and just stumbled upon this one. I'm amazed again at the wisdom and intelligence he delivers and, right in this one, I discovered how close his understanding of God Consciousness is from your teachings, despite the method being so different as he remembers being it.

Thanks. I sometimes have a hard time to know where exactly I stand on that because I am interested in aspects of spirituality and understanding of reality which are not discussed here (such as looking into past lives cases and desiring to remember mine). That is just one example. I don't think I get locked into New Age paradigms though as I have a pretty deep understanding of reality compared to most people, but as my understanding of what is considered New Age and what is not is not precise, it is somehow hard to know what terms can be used (in regard of the work of Actualized.org) for those other interests in spirituality I have. My intuition tells me it is not New Age in the way I think and learn about those things, but there is still some confusion in my mind about the exact words and expressions. I don't want to be wrong about that, especially because I created a belief from following this work that New Age is bad and something to be ashamed of, but the irony is that I don't exactly know what New Age really is (or really is not). Though I somehow intuit that too…

Could you give an exemple of a New Age type of paradigm? I am not certain to know what those are and what precisely is meant by New Age. For exemple, would believing in past lives and reincarnation - or at least, in the possibility of it here (as there are verified cases of people remembering their past lives) be considered a New Age type of paradigm?

Leo, could you share with us what made you come back? Especially from a stage where you were out of purpose and not knowing whether you would come back, to recovering a sense of purpose again. Was this particularly difficult and did you have to put a lot of conscious effort into getting your life purpose back, or did it come back naturally after resting and going through the suffering and the new understandings you had to go through? I kind of wonder to what degree one can force themselves to recover when being in such deep states of suffering and out of touch with all meaning. As a side note: I can't wait for the video in which you will blackpill us (I already am pretty badly) and the one in which you will talk about how to develop hope and optimism in the face of all of that. I've been blackpilled very early in my life, as I could deeply feel the suffering of others at school and of the world at a very young age (6-10 years old), and then as a teenager (13-14 years old) as I started to look closely into the suffering inflected to animals (I spent hours watching the worst kinds of suffering inflicted to them, especially in slaughterhouses and factory farming, as I thought that "not turning a blind eye" was the right thing to do). As if that wasn't enough, I then turned my focus on the suffering inflicted to humans, and in particular, to scenes of tortures, litteraly (for example, people chopped into pieces alive, people face skinned alive, parents hanging themselves in front of their children, people forced to be eaten alive by dogs, etc). I thought it was necessary to be able to face the devilry humans were capable to commit in order to better understand the harshness of reality, and at the same time, I felt that it was well deserved for humans to suffer that much too, as many were so heartless towards animals - or just, so heartless. All this completely structured my psyche in a way in which I now deeply despise humanity. I hate the world, I hate this planet. But more so, I completely stopped caring about the planet, about humans and their so limited level of consciousness and intelligence. I have deep pain and aversions within me I can't find how to revert. I feel like no "beautiful thing" in the world can compensate for the suffering that takes place all around us and for the lack of consciousness within humans. I turned my mind inside out so deeply that I wonder whether I will ever recover. But at the same time, I still am capable of loving, and in particular, of feeling metaphysical love. But I really struggle about living in this world and about caring for the material and human domains of life (having a career, sex, status, success… none of this makes sense to me nor interests me). The only real interests I have are to reach the highest states of consciousness, to really deeply understand Consciousness, and to understand why I even exist here as this particular limited self on this particular planet - if that can even be answered. Also, I deeply desire to understand the functionning of my own mind - why I am the way I am, precisely, and how I can transcend the suffering that comes with the special wiring of my mind. The sad thing is that, even though I can feel an extremely high interest for spirituality and God Consciousness, it doesn't connect with me on an emotionnal level. I can't feel that passion I know I really have deep down, because I suffer and because I've suffered so much. And this absence of positive feedback/feelings makes me feel a lot of despair and it burdens me deeply, because I wonder how and why to fight for a life I somewhat know I could desire, if I can't feel nor imagine any joy or fulfilment coming from actualizing it. Thus, this question I have about how and why you got back in touch with your life purpose and what it entailed. Even though we have a very different life journey and psyche, it could be insightful in some way, whatever the answer is.

For me, plugging comes up extremely fast, within 2 minutes. I barely have time to find a comfortable position before the trip starts and I breakthrough in a matter of seconds. Smoking might be more tricky because you have to get the technique right for it to work. So it might actually take more time and be more stressful if you're not familiar with smoking. My first trial did not get me to trip. I followed the technique I've found on the forum, but lacking the experience, I've failed. There was more things to think about and so the whole process took longer. I was concerned about not burning the substance, but to heat it enough, and then to get as much smoke in as possible while I didn't know when exactly it was time to start smoking. In the end, I just got the taste of 5-MeO-DMT in my mouth. So as for now, I find plugging far more straighforward and it leaves my mind more at peace for the trip. It's not recommended either to start with too high of a dose because you don't know your sensitivity to the substance yet (it might still be too little, but it could also be too much). You don't know what a "good high dose" for you is at this point and you don't know what you can handle. So it could be a very difficult experience if you don't get the dose in what would be a manageable range for you, and if your mindset is not good (if you might want to strongly resist the trip or if you have a strong fear of having a panick attack), it could also negatively affect the trip. So be careful.

@bambi Yes, I know.

Vegans are not vegan for ethic or moral reasons. They are vegan - and advocate for veganism - for and foremost because of their own selfishness. A lot of them are vegan because they can't stand seeing the suffering of animals, so they want to reduce the amount of animal suffering in order to suffer less themselves. If they didn't have that sensitivity in themselves in the first place, they wouldn't care as much as they do. So I think that "ethics" and "moral" come second in most people's process to become vegan and advocate for veganism. Those are the arguments they put forth in order to attempt converting people to their cause. But what came first was their own sensitivity to animal suffering - and so their own suffering in regard to it. In a sense, they got "trapped" in making the connection between the food they eat and the animals that suffer for it… and so they want the rest of the world to make that connection in order to reduce their suffering alongside with the suffering of animals. They are pretty biased because they are sensitive to that particular form of suffering the most while there are all kinds of suffering around for which they do not advocate as much for or at all for. Many vegans have their mind focused on that one thing only and they feel like they have to fight for it. But their attitude is far often too radical and enforcing. They're missing a larger perspective of what they are doing and they don't have the ability to really see from the perspective of the non-vegans. That doesn't help their talk because enforcing their view onto others doesn't work. In the end, people won't become vegan for moral reasons, they will become vegan if they resonate with veganism (with this particular "moral issue") at a much deeper level that. Plus, veganism for the entire world will likely never be possible, and it would likely never be a fully viable option (one simple reason being that many people actually need animal products to be healthy, another reason being that the cereal or fruit industry also kills millions of insects and animals for their production). Obviously, lots of progress can be made for the animals and the planet… but the fully vegan approach likely isn't the best option anyway.