kavaris

Tripping is so weird that, its hard to even know what tripping is—during, and after, it has happened... cause its like, effecting reality as you know it. it should be just brain stuff except its more like touching the kitchen counter, telekinetically or watever, such that you can feel the surface of it from a distance... inb4 the crisscross of sensations, and that is all to say that, its hard to know like, what that even is, as its transcendent of what we even understand, or that i feel we understand.

id dare consider awakening and enlightenment as slightly highlighting differents kinds of experiences, though, from within the same source, just from two different lineages towards the same spot or path. It might be enough for now, to say that enlightenment sounds more light, and bright in ways. An awakening sounds more akin to something *sudden* (both a kind of transcendence at some lv) though i cant help feel like enlightenment has something of a long term thing goin' on, and feels less like "short term, final resolves" (the source that awaits us) where awakening feels like it could be encapsulating turn-arounds, and resolutions... Like, that part of ourselves that connects to the more confusing, foggy areas—not to dissuade from what enlightenment might mean or could mean in the realm of our selves; And for all anyone else thinks, they just mean the same thing, or atleast point to a common path from two different lineages of the same source—>experience—>destination (an implicit `source` that is moving through that sequence, as us, awaiting us) type've thing.

@The Crocodile I oooooh n/m ... i left something out that was most important to understanding it... the fact that i became scared at the exact same time, really lends itself to what mightve been happening... as a really large part of the story... like, i was following an emotional trail or something, as opposed to a visual or logical... So,.. yeah i guess its an emotion trail that we are hunting... but im very often not in an heroic state, im like, dying... scared and dying all the friggin time.

@The Crocodile The Words To Describe Caution: Its kindve long and hard to follow. I just realized something. Ill just add it into our conversation here, but when Tom Campbell said "Intuition side, versus...", That is, he had invoked this idea of there being "something that you want to be in the foreground of..." (those are my words, but thats my take on it) and that has some merit to it, but the words intellect, and intuition arent really finite enough, and the emphasis on each made it feel he wanted to really capture it all between ONLY two sides, which may not have been the case, we'll never know (it just made it seem like there existed two sides, without any other sides in competition together),... lol if we ignore that all those things arent accurate, we can say theres something that he was trying to say that he didnt find the right words for... And to no fault of his own since the words arent really easy to come up with on the spot, but i was in a dream a few hours ago, and i wouldve called it "an intuitive sequence", if not for the fact that it has moments where im easily scared, or easily disappointed... or like, shrinking into this vulnerability state... Anyway, i just thought id throw that in there as i am increasingly interested in the states that exist inbetween sleeping and waking, as.... you might know what im talking about when i describe the following: When, the last image you might see in your dream, happens to be the same object (or similar in shape and color) to the one your eyes are looking at when awakened—the object in your immediate awareness?... Ive had this many times, and this time i experienced the object as a black cat (on my chair, it was just a black shirt) suffice to say that, this black cat wasnt in my dream for the first half (majority) of it... instead, it just coincidentally happened to be the very last image, aligned, almost like, breaking time? does that make sense?... Almost like, how weve all probably had the thought about how the last image we see in death could be the first image of new life, except this was like the friggin wyrd of web fabric, wata coincidence, since i had experienced this cat (and came awake) and realized it was my shirt, as if i had navigated, either through time, or through my room. Iuno, i hope that made sense, as theres alot of moving parts there i was tryina capture. point being, i dont understand what you can call something that is "partly coincidence" or destiny, partly breaking time or breaking my understanding of what im doing when im not awake, atleast... we could just call that all intuition, alas theres some layers in there, that which we dont have the words to describe.

@The Crocodileiuno if you'd consider this a supernatural, but when ive takin lsd w/ friends i always go on about this circular pattern that i always see, its like a circular relationship, or an orbit between three or four bodys, and its always spinning—in that orbitalish way, and when i tell people about it while in the midst of it, they wouldnt see it (though ive never prodded and pushed them on the issue) Online i think some people have suggested theyve seen more similar experiences, however they say that its strange that i keep seeing the same exact thing. i call it a cascade, but i guess its also just like, the three + bodies in rotation or relation, such that they appear to spin around one another. its also echoed in everything, as its happening, in terms of that juggling, take-turns behavior, but afterwards i dont see it, and then im not fixated on anything. it doesnt sound terribly spectacular, but its what i could point to—or describe as the least-psychic magick—of all the psychic experiences (i think im often doing whats mostly psychic/intellect magick—which opens-up too wide a realm of magic-options) — and, it could also be a mathy-feeling magick im tlkin bout.. i think there is a math/geometric magick. Mathamagica, maybe? magic mushroom magick. i wrote it down before but i cant find it. They do start magic circles off w/ geometry in mind, though it couldve just evolved as a way to make something coherent, symmetrical, etc (probably wouldnt have made sense if someone drew a very sloppy/jagged trapezoid or rhombus XD)

The Thomena Phenomena @Jannes yeah, this is sorta the role i took w/ my mom, who desperately needed to enter into the spiritual side of things, from the mystical , and the only clear direction that was tangentially related to her new found drug use and throwing everything away was to investigate paranormal/necromancy. And it worked, only enough so, that later on, when things normalized, it gave her that reference point—to question the mysterious. p.s. it did take all the years later

@Juan lol you know whats funny, a few m/o ago i was looking at "plants that make music", which is effectively the same idea as getting an electrical signal from them, except its looking at the actual pitch (and modulation) of said signal.. i dont remember if it was like a variable tone or what, as i wasnt fully invested in it... it may have just been feeding a signal into an effects box, alas i cant remember.

@Carl-Richard@LoneWonderer And, to be fair, i prefer the mystical version that has a more lyrical-ness to the language hes using (if we are even going to call it that lol) which gives the people atleast some rhythmic undertones... wherein, if there was then ever a time where it wasnt about *whats being said*, but rather, how to shift into a trance-like state due to his words, that would then be an opportunity. but then, anyone that puts us to sleep is then a prophetic visionary.

Fascination Alot of people say theyve seen the universe or like the amazon forest from the sky or from the top down, or they became one with it. i cant say ive ever seen anything like that, but i did see a white light... thats kindve like a bright star or planet right?.... i also seen blackness, but that was just the contrast of the light—how it encapsulated the room and created an octave split between the room i was in (dark) and the light i was seeing, beyonder. I would direct you towards like, looking at it from the opposite scale now, as you experienced it as the eyes of the universe, on a grand scale... Now shrink yourself down to a smallness, BUT!... That doesnt mean to shrink down to NOTHING! Thats the part where your gonna get tripped up on though, its like... Shrink yourself, and keep going, and going, and going... What do you see? I'll tell you, it should look/ feel like you are Not one with the universe, but now a separate individual of some kind. Kindve hard to explain, as i dont just mean you are your own separate self again.. I guess i mean, consider the room you are in (set & setting) and then focus on that room with such fire and passion that you "take it with you" into a dream. When you do that, you will have broken reality... because, well, think about it... What happens when you bring reality into a dream directly?... Can you even rationalize that in your head?... You have to experience it, otherwise it sounds like im saying - you just look around the room, blinking, or something, lol. and obviously thats not what i mean.

Furthermore, I wanted to learn about my time here on earth... - Good news for you then, this time here on Earth is part of a time-trilogy w/ neverending magnitude and beyond. So youve witnessed that part about now Youre experience is only limited by your ability to imagine it, and the sooner you come to realize it on your own, the better, as its, well one of- if not- the hightest summit.. but theres a plethora of summits, its a mountain range really. Home Home, Home on the range... of mountains... Where the deer and the antelope play.. etceteras...

@The Crocodile Its very delicate, reality, you know. One wrong turn, one wrong twist... its like... "Crash"... pieces of me, falling. Okay ill shut up now.

@The Crocodile i appreciate that you responded. lets leave the floor open to others now as we have been hogging it up together.

@The Crocodile As long as some part of you is still invested in consciousness and meditation after this then thats all that mattered. The other stuff i said will make more sense later on, obviously now, it just seems like two ppl who arent on the same page at all.

You can keep going im still here. Go on about the intellect one now then... You had said something about intellect not applying to every sensation and fair enough. What were we talkin bout again?

@The Crocodile What is painful? Focusing on one thing?

@The Crocodile it does, because im tellin you im not responding unless.

@The Crocodile Now see, your changin the subject on me here. Im only responding on the stipulation we stay on one road. p.s. if you wanna switch to intellect, then thats a new road now that we'd have to stay on.

@The Crocodile What are the effective effects of effective meditation? Does it mean there cant be any reason to meditate besides quieting the mind? is that what you are implying? because you have me very confused. p.s. you dont have to be lazy, im only asking on the stipulation thatll youll go one item at a time.

@The Crocodile Ill just go ahead and address the one on meditation.. ~ i didnt say anything about the effectiveness of meditation? The intuitive side isnt even a thing. Raw meditation doesnt clear the mind. Intellect is about as synonymous as it gets with consciousness. etc. where in there did it say meditation"wasnt" effective? Plz dont confuse me.

@The Crocodile backup there, and go one at a time, plz : / .. too much at once.

It doesnt even make half-sense "Its quantum physics, and entangled bits of information. Its a probability... from what?"—unexplainable bits of information from an unexplainable source of consciousness? People who do not know any better have to agree once youve created a generality out of everything, without acknowledging or providing the freedom to allow unique perspectives and other generalities to challenge said perspectives, due to lack of trying, or trying only enough for it to be as simple and elegant as can be beared. What is even the point in meditating then, if what everyone would presumably be meditating on is confined to Tom World, where everything has been put into this already-solved black box, it doesnt even make half-sense. The intuitive side isnt even a thing... Raw meditation doesnt clear the mind. The closest you can get is by fixating the mind on a new construction that gives you the lasting impression that—you had simplified forefrontal thoughts in a twisted way where they are being sent into a subconscious realm, temporarily, like repeating a song in your head wherein it feels like those immediate thoughts exist automatically (like automatic breathing) because they know the lyrics... Once your mind is on to the fact that its been running automatic, it immediately generates new forefrontal thoughts, like... Intellect is about as synonymous as it gets with consciousness. Youd need to be clever to get anywhere with meditating anyway.

Tom i thought about this phrase of tom's that mentions how, consciousness/awareness leads to lowering of entropy (if yous dont know what that is you can look it up no problem) but it generally would mean that, randomness (entropy) would shift towards a balanced state as awareness/consciousness comes into play... that is, its like, something thats less random that invokes signs of clarity, alignment, etc. except... ... that is a conflation between two things: awareness and entropy, that arent really consequences of each other... that is to say, becoming/having more awareness doesnt lead to less entropy, in the same way having less entropy wouldnt make you more aware. Instead, it would be more accurate to describe awareness as a delicate balance of multiple things, multiple thoughts, feelings, and ideas that are simmering together, and having somewhere in that recipe the necessary experiences that are prominent enough that they lend theirselves towards those advanced insights, or progressive sorts of thoughts that are, really kindve chaotic in nature, at first, but really they have a higher alignment with a system thats more chaotic as opposed to less... if you have less entropy, then you are less attuned to this reality because this reality implies a complex system. It doesnt mean that you cant find balance and alignment, it just means those two ideas of awareness and entropy arent like ingredients, like, "first i add sauce A, and afterwards it tastes like flavor B"... Obviously its a bit more complicated.

Strength v Weakness I dont often reach/sail through the right part of the seas or mountain that oversees all aspects of myself and what they might be best known as; And theres a range of peculiar—often wordless verbs happening in my head, which all adds to my own inability to say "i am ----" in so far as i just would say it as "i am". But i am observing more of a spectrum, more of a pandoras box. I dont know if you are into mysticism, but i think thats how you might connect the word 'sage' in a way that isnt like, a limiter, but a continuation in the realms of mysticism, does that make sense? iuno, to me thats how we balance the mystical/spiritual side of ourselves, the universe within ourselves and in further understanding the human condition. That is, its through a cascade of events, and a... iuno i wanna call it a 'strength' to continuously identify and manage said reality—though im not sure thats the right words im tryina say... makes me think of a 'weakness' vs. 'strength' type of thing, and im not sure about having to conjure them in this context. I guess its something for everyone to contemplate. p.s. im tryina title things more so its understood/read as a kind of insight, as opposed to a comment thats read as like some stab or like, jagged thing.

@Breakingthewall Awesome, thats what i like to hear... Extract those terms, like you said: "reality is the whole package"... What is a package, or what motion do you think of when you think of opening a package, what sentiment does the act of receiving it represent or how does it make you feel—what does it look like?... Shape, color, pattern, etc... "Open our heart to everything...", what lies at the center of the heart, and... which direction leads you further towards it—or rather, by what ways can we deduce or determine the dragline/or direction to go, either literally, figuratively—as a past, present or future memory/experience? "... integrate it"... Now likewise, what is integration, and what are the general sentiments that you think of when you think of integration. Is it "two things merging"? What does it mean to merge? Is it "two things separating", and becoming "distinct"? Is it something else? What does it mean to become a distinction—And, for that matter, how can we integrate or interpret *distinction* in a new way, from a place that leads to ( ... ... and now im invoking the next term you had so eloquent used... ... ) "... and place ourself on a higher level...", what do you think of when you think of reaching the next—higher, more aligned, more stable area or *place* in life? What is the universe and the human condition predicated on, and what does it mean? Is this higher level a place, is it a thought or a feeling? What direction should we face, in order to start going in the right direction? What is this *other* that we face, and when we face it does it have a *beingness*, that which we anticipate, in the initial action (the direction of) seeing/visualizing other, and everafter?

I heard a really nice definition for mysticism the other day— that is, its just > "acting on the impulse to love the divine"... that is— what it is presumably doing is "pointing to the mystery itself.." (neither on the side of Theism or Atheism—neither for or against a first cause, creativity activity of divine nature) rather its "emersing the mind in the love of the mystery around that".... Thats a great way to put it right? Anyway, i had a couple different topics on my mind that i wanted to share, and that is like, this sortve backup/alternative lifestyle, and what we are suppose to do if we are still alive, still preferring things well into an awkward point For, our life is suppose to be the hardest thing we'll ever have to go through—but then, all that, and we end up at the EOL, End of life experience, where we have to wane in to the ocean ... iuno its just bizarre. And it takes too long, like, for instance if we are gonna like, wait, and wait, trying to die during old age, it takes a year to fully be dead dead, as thats what ive witnessed from a second hand perspective... and its horrible cause your bowels arent strong enough, etc, etc... thats the very last days. So let us make that sequence not exist. What is happening, that the mind is like, lagging behind while the body is exiting?what is it we need to do to just... get it off, like a bandaid... "get off".. let me say "no" to everything, everyone... Let me die now, "do you want to die?" someone asks. "No." i say, as it dont make sense from an outside perspective, but, that "no" is in response to a higher order of stories happening, that which doesnt run w/ waking or dreaming, but a middle-of-the-sandwich area... And in doing so (assuming youve now really embraced it from head to toe..) You will dream within the right context. That is, you are saying "No"... "No" to everyone, and then the "dream" (which is its own entity, sortve separated and blind to the unity you share to it) has no choice but to recreate on the bounds of like, "no, just.. get it off", which that sentiment is like, only harmonious if you are fully embracing it, and sharing it with your dream; And kinda feels angelic to be in harmony, no discord, just you know... "Whatever happens, happens..." an angelic, special song of the heart sequence or something... like a ride... a secret death ride, one that brings everything close to a peaceful inbetween state, as its really difficult to get pulled apart entirely. Its unclear what being pulled apart even is, and how it works...Perhaps... we had no preference you know, as theres nothing to really prefer at some point, presuming everything feels alright. The term "Alright" must itself be like, a VERY agile and expandable sentiment... its like, "alright"... And then, "Wooosh"!... Mystery. Well... anyway..., we shall see t'what should happen.