kavaris

Im not even right, thats how wrong i am.... or wait... it didnt come out right.

Oh you know i followed vadanta...and hairy krishna... If you name that sht, i followed that shr.... I followed honey bear and coyote ugly. Sinbad... Name it.

Yeo ... tomorrow im def gonna unload my belief suitcase, i swear ta belief god, and to hairy krishna.

(*repeats*) yall know i dont have strong convictions around *belief* right? Like, im mot saying that "the nature of everything is belief" im just saying, practically, right now, i have no beliefs, and ive settled there (but at the expense of having to explain it -kindve thing, which is like, "why is he explaining the thing now?") Like im jus saying... if ya thought i had a belief structure in active pursuit, its not there... maybe tomorrow... (Lol, imagine XD)

Carl and Josh yall are onto somethin YEO, keep goin now, As i believe it... i believe it with EVERY FIBER (P.s. yall know i dont hav strong *belief* convictions like that by now, right?)

Ok wait. Let me try something here: Distinctions... Differences... But also like... The Thing -> Transforms into another thing... So thats three things. Like, thats what i think it was boiling down to, that you could cont. to boil down... but also, there was something else, albeit its like... junk'd or gooky'd up w/ all this sht i jus spewed.

Why does logic start to become like "blocker"? Oh .... n/m, n/m im just losin my mind... go on.. as yous werre...

@Joseph Maynor Like its a logical wall we hit, but at the same time, if you scale it, its like "Oh that makes sense" -is what im saying, lol

Frame it like this (As im still writing tryina word it) (Cont.) I guess the weird part is, we never isolated "creation" and "knowing / figuring out" and held them together, As one, As like, this fundamental thing, cause suddenly its like, 'If you fuse things together like that, you suddenly have this unusual logic ball... Now the validation / invalidation of consciousness is making alot of sense, cause its like, like... its not that it breaks logic, but it... it does? But it doesnt though.... but it does? Like, its not broken... but in a sense.... it kindve does... or in the least, it breaks the logical rules required to "think things are gonna happen logically", simultaneously being illogical in the process. Albeit, we are fusing it together, but to me, it speaks to something profound, even if its just thoughts and words, its a CRAZY ordeal, but it also makes alot of sense to me... its like "Wait... You think the words you said make sense?" Like... SOMEONE out there is prolly thinking that, once they read it.

OR it would make it already, "figured out" too!.... nd i guess thats why its crazy profound too.

Oh right. Thats profound... wait a minute ... im tryina really understand wat just happened... *figuring out the thing, is the creation...* So wait... Forget about Figuring out~As a description or as a synonym for creation, But lets take that as a serious functional piece... Like Do you see what im saying? Like, wait, to figure out IS to create, So we are living in a flawed existence, just right out the gate of tryina figure it out (if we go by just the pure logic side of things) Like, outside of that phrasing or logic, we could find away around....BUT.. But for the time being... Think about it... Thats profoundly crazy.... Like "the minute you figure it out, youre already in the creation" Or vice versa (watev) Which everyone already knew that... prolly.... But its like, "to even think into figuring it out is just more creation", which would otherwise make it another created thing, as opposed to "figured out" Does that make sense? I know it doesnt sound right, but somewhere in there theres something interesting... i feel.

I cant count the # of situations when someone was like, "Oh im actually the thing now", like... Fk... Yous surely know wat im tlkin bout. or yous mightve forgotten (n/m ignore this second post, i went too far w/ the sentiment / joke reveal)

All those things happened to me too, including 4 4, And my name online is also Mellowmarsh too (jk im fkin w ya... That drives me nuts tho, like... "oh my name is actually all the things you are now" WHILE you are in the middle of talking about it... its more than enough for a little crazy making... or wen everything goes array, while you are feeling turbulence... i just ignore it, or try to, if it happens)

Alright lets just remove everything. Okay wait... wait... im tryina find somethin i felt... Suppose this scenario... we come into life.... (its fake life, but ya know ... we dont know that) And then, suppose we are like idiot sevants like, right outta the gate just like "I know its fake, fuck it yeo. Santa claus never brought me any presents" And suppose we are like 5 months old when we say this, Like... That sounds... crazy, but humor me.. Suppose this possible thing where we already know of its fakeness, the instant its created, such that we have two things overlapping "reality, as a means of like... existing IN reality" plus "Our birth, that we see as like, a proclomation on being born into reality" Now for watever freak reason, we come into it, knowing its not real... lets suppose.. I dont quite remember what i was thinking by illustrating it (or what i felt), but it wasnt to ask "What would happen", As it was more related to something now... Like... Gah... Fk it... Maybe yous will figure it out.

@Joseph Maynor Maybe that is the right question, that is, "Is figuring it out at odds w/ creation at the deepest lvl" Granted, like ... i just thought of it (that phrasing) And i mighta had a better way to phrase it, but it flew outta my head at the last minute.

Is it possible to figure out? (I know that sounds incredibly shallow and as if im asking a very general question, but let me see if i can work it out) As, im tryina know... Like, i thought i should just give up... As its like, the differences themselves are like, an Erogenously expressed thing... like ... Is like, is it possible to navigate, such that its not at odds w/ creation, do ya think? Im bein genuine asking, As its like, iuno... im fking up the question i want to ask... but i might find the words for it.

*Of course from my perspective, i cant really distinguish one from the other, but everyone else is on the same wavelength, sorta kinda, you can tell, or closer to the same/similar, so yous have a means of knowing each other more intimately in a way, and how each other is feeling.

Im jumping ahead, to practical and magical, or il ligical and logical, and how it could influence communication, Cause i just see that as like, the nature of everything, in as much as we are prone to realizing, Like it is like, in the context of really, really, really trying to say something, it can hit the roof where its like "Actually this is a paradox thats trying to be non paradoxical" whoch is fine. I dont really see that direct-head-on conclusion w/ that, being a blocker on what it means to communicate, nor what Self is, like all those things can coincide, in as much as everyone has gifted each other avidya, like we are trying to figure out an experience basically... Like thats hard enough as is, so the benefit of the doubt is that, "Look im trying my best here" And im just saying that, cause others might be thinking it too (down the line... It depends right)

In the sense that theres two conscious ppl here, then "reality" and its conscious people are real, because otherwise youve just uncovered the same problem from the opposite end ~ i.e., "reality is science, etc" So youve now said that same claim, but from the opposite end, granted its inversion and not opposed/ opposite, because inversion means youve explored another angle of the pyramid. Like, in the sense that theres two 98 year olds staggering each other "You move" - "No, you move" - "No, ill move" - "I'll move" - "No i wanna move!" -Thats a reality that you fantasize about now (otherwise we become "to exist" or non existence) But that staggering of consciousness is still very much a reality. Thats the predicament to solve, not just whether people are real. They are real, as everyone is inside of the group of realness. So for you, the figment that you literally cant or shouldnt touch like a scary ghost, thats called the unreal, but its inside of realness, for you, in the sense of what it even means to be real, but the fantasy of it NOW is the dilemma, cause simply believing in * non-realness * does not make it real OR unreal, You dont have to belirve (or *un believe) in "chair" and "chairness" for it to still be there... You cant distinguish between real and unreal, inthat way. Only in self experience does that happen ~ that is, where it is going to make sense. Thats the predicament. Climbing to the top to describe the bottom means that, Now YOU would be at the top, and the things you are reaching for are now at the bottom. Like it doesnt require any one specific thing, but the fact that its all things, means its possible to imagine ANY thing, and the predicament begins there, not after making the climb, Like awareness is happening in each moment, otherwise its more of a faint lesson about what its like to make climbs. The climbing analogy is just a means of contrasting a center thats being taken for granted, and it means that individual consciousness, if thought of as consciousness that others are experiencing, is the opposite that happens from the center... the fact that theres only one consciousness is a minor communication in that sense. Differences and distinctions are making it seem like, anything thats Not of centervoid IS itself the answer!... Like, its working because of differences, not the distinctions themselves that cause there to be realizations around inverted answers. What is the pyramid itself? And why is it? Not the thing making [out there] happen. But even before the conscious reality happens, we ask, 'What is that thing? Does it happens aufto magically? Maybe, maybe not.

Justa cont., from this wri3ting, i got an idea for yas, As more of an artistic endeavor, Although its very difficult to wrap your head around since it would be like a balancing of practical conscious consciousness, combined w/ this Drac'on of possibility and eternity / That is, in shaping "who we are" and what we are to become, Where in "aware" and "Beingness" have alot of these Leo Gura'd Steps in between to comprehend... Iuno if ya can understand by virtue of that whole synopsis, cause its like, trying to interpret the now, in simultenaety within the mode of thought thats challenging the Self... and everyone else... Like, i can only know it from this perspective right now, but others may require a different one, And in some sense, you want it to relate to others, seeing as you can kill two bird w one stone by "relating" and "challenging", Like, those two things can be fused... sometimes, Like... But let me not get off track — just to get to the bottomline here im just calling it... PRJ., "Draco"... Like a temporary placeholder title. I feel like that it is transcendent enough that it can work. Like yas have to ask yourself the "high up" questions, what is the draco of possibility, but from a perspective that is itself just "Yourself", perceiving reality, making assumptions per usual... So its judgement, but its judgement thats no different from just existing, Like... Youve never Not'judged, its just got more world;Levels and direction... inb4 you may be required to lose yourself as well, as thats like, what Self is, its like... Partitions of living spaces, in a fortress/temple of consciousness. So you ask yourself what the fkhat it is... Why is it? Things like that.

(part 2) Okay part two time... jus kidding, but i could go on, its just that i had a long day, nd im tryina make it more like a song myself, so its more rounded... Granted when i write things down, i actually just straight up borrow all of Leo Guras @LeoGura's phrasing, As its more like... verywell-pressed in the head, than anything else... i notice it as an art guy, though iuno if others can really pick up on why ... like "why its working"... And why it works the best (or so i feel). I feel like those little art details matter. Its like, brain alchemy or somethin like that.

Your right. Bliss is the transcendent part of the Love/Soul, Granted we cant get a good read on it, that all encompassing pleasure -thing, As its in motion and changing. I liken it to "memory" as well. We take for granted our experience, our ability to remember, recall and retrace those steps towards the Souldoor, changelings, but without bliss vve dont have that uptake, downtake, which depends on experiences. It depends on not having them staggered ~ Which i liken to an old man (98 years old, lets say) blocking your way, staggering you to death at every step. Iuno its confusing, cause bliss is both the normal definition of it, and also its the foundation that everything lays on... without bliss everyone would be thrown out into space like a comet hit the earth, like its the apocalypse, erasing the end, before its even begun. Without bliss, no one could exist, As bliss sets the standard for non-bliss, such that bliss can be described, for we only know what is Not-a-kind-of-bliss by our experience WITH what we think is bliss is... hence its an active defining process... creation from nothing, but we misunderstand the whole creation part. p.s. i mighta accidentally deleted something in there, as i dozed off nd was pressing things in my sleep, as i had busy day.

Write up a few paragraphs on this, starting from some sortve high-awareness-location, and near the bottom, have "Be + come", for we're the receiving we gave ourselves / to feel it is to become the maker, creating AS ourselves. And in that, then you have a more crafting of what its like, for yourselves, and w/ lots of crazy colors, plectrums of impossibility / starting from that day night, night day early beginning-of-whatever you want to say first.

I mighta told yas bout one i like recently with the Basque ppl and the two young lesbians, and theres events or occurrences of folktale'esque sht which leads to their cult grandmas getting together to pay a visit to one of the lesbians (at one point, one of them is possessed by something... long story) though the grandmas want to recruit watchamakalit into the secret cult against her will... nd that is an upsetting part of the story for the protagonist... long story short, her, and the other cult members, they are flying around n sht, some butt naked, some on brooms, etc., and towards the end the other members start to chill out, and they initiate a giant orgy w eachother again, whilst flying around as well... as they enjy flying round). The story is not about any of that, But its one of those movies that you cant give away or else you spoil the movie, But ya, theres orgies goin on, kinda like in that Al pacino keanu reeves movie, the Devils advocate, they have the painting that starts moving, And its not giving away anything to talk about the painting. Thats sortve wat im doing, im jus talking bout the paintings, which i often do to summarize a movie / anything, and that gives yas a brief idea of wat its about. Just search "Basque Folk movie, 2026".

At the moment, jus going one step at a time — regarding a scenario-of-thought where its like — "And in the end you have get rid of desire", You also have to have desires TO get rid of, God itself, is also one such desire. So theres atleast two desires, which are neither the ultimate cause or product of the ultimate final desire. Somewhere in there is the truth of your situation, but it prolly cant be communicated, if you have exp., even remotely w/ a conscious awakening in your past, then you have something that isnt complete darkness.