Jordan

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Posts posted by Jordan

  1. Posted

    January 15, 2019

    I did my hour of meditation today. I sat cross legged instead of the half lotus that I usually do. My Achilles Tendon got sore because it what what i was resting my leg on it. My knee felt much better though. I started meditating at around 4pm. I got texted during my meditation and moved a couple times to check it.

    January 16, 2019

    I meditated 4-5pm again. I got phoned 40 minutes in and finished the rest after. I sat cross legged with my right shin resting on my left food instead of the Achilles Tendon like yesterday and it was much more comfortable. I felt like I could sit like that for much longer than in the half lotus. I had some dreams last night but they seemed normal and not vivid like the dreams I has when I first started meditating. I will try to get up early to meditate when I can turn my phone off and concentrate on meditating.

    I forgot to mention last week I learned the Wim Hof "ice man" breathing method where you breath in deep quickly and let the breath go without forcing it 30-40 times then hold your breath with the air let out of your lungs for as long as you can then breath in and hold for 15 seconds and do 3-4 round of that. I learned that if a breath out by relaxing my diaphragm it is much easier to relax my body during meditation. 

    I don't think I mentioned I do cold showers every morning after my normal warm shower for 1-2 min. Doing the breathing method before makes it painless I think because you are a bit lightheaded and more numb from hyperventilating. I have cold hands and have not found that the breathing method has helped warm them yet though I only tried it a couple times. I might start trying doing the breathing in the morning before I get out of bed.

  2. Posted

    January 8 - January 14

    I meditated an hour every day at all different times of day. 3 days I sat unmoving. I went for a trip with some friends for the weekend. I managed to sneak some meditation in when people weren't doing much. I have been sleeping better but staying up late on the trip. My dreams have not been as vivid as before. My back doesn't hurt as much as it did in the beginning. My right knee has been sore after sitting for a while in the half lotus. I might try adjusting my leg position tomorrow.

    Unmoving Count: 6

  3. Posted

    January 7, 2019

    I finally slept through the night 11pm-7am. I had more vivid dreams one of an ocean of lava that I had to cross because there was a steep rock face behind me but my boat was destroyed by the lava. The tide eventually went out and i could pass. Another I was walking along a dirt road and heard a group of people coming up behind me so I hid behind some bushes and waited for them to pass. Another time 2 tigers that broke out of a cage and attacked someone but a 3rd tiger jumped out and stopped them then they all transformed into people.

    I meditated 8am-9am. I opened my eyes once for a second because I remembered that I forgot to go to the bank and I needed to pay someone this morning. Other than that i just sat there. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. My mind was pretty busy. It was very similar to yesterday.

     

     

  4. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    January 6, 2019

    I have been having trouble sleeping since starting meditating. Usually I can sleep 9 hours without trouble if i don't set my alarm. Tonight i slept from 12:00am to 3:30am I eventually got up at around 5am, showered and meditated from around 6am-7am then fell asleep after until around 10. I also have been having very vivid dreams.

    Some dreams I had in the last week were:

    -I was Floky from the show Vikings. I wandered through the dessert for several days. I was so hungry and thirsty until I found a small village. The village was pissed off that I showed up because they didn't normally let in outsiders but eventually decided to let me stay and have a little food and water but I had to take 3 puffs of this long rolled joint which put me into a trance. After i felt my mind and body relax and the guy that passed me the joint smiled and say I might need to sit down for a while. I just sat there crossed legged without any thoughts, mind just grey until i woke up. 

    -In one I was in a school and having to hide from terrorists. I went through the vents to different rooms. 

    -One was about my brother telling me a story about how his friend threw a birthday party for him that was going to cost $1 million dollars but then he got stopped by a rival gang of my brother's friend and they had to shoot at them and run away through people's back yards over fences and stuff.

    Today I meditated from 6am-7am, I didn't move the whole time which was really hard today. Now I understand why it can be called strong determination sitting when sitting for an hour+. I had to stay very determined not to get up. I felt loneliness which was not completely unbearable but it felt pretty bad and lasted probably 20-30 min. Also my butt where i am sitting on the cushion on one spot felt very hot and irritated like the skin was being stretched a lot from sitting on it. I had trouble right from the beginning focusing on relaxing or specific parts of my body but feeling everything at once seemed easier today and my thoughts were not as active as yesterday when I tried that.

    Unmoving count: 3

     

     

  5. Posted

    January 5

    This morning I meditated from 7am-8am. I kept getting carried away in thoughts thinking about the stock market, a video game I have been playing and whether I was sitting properly or worrying about back pain. My back started twitching when i tried sitting up straight but it was fine after a few min. I felt an emotion that felt like dread that was moderately powerful for about 1 min but it went away quickly when i got alert since I didn't want to move. I sat without moving the whole time which wasn't very hard today maybe because I was lost in thought for longer than usual. I think I had trouble focusing because I was sleepy.

    Unmoving count: 2

     

  6. Posted

    On January 3rd I woke up really late because I tried to go to bed early then I woke up before midnight and couldn't sleep for several hours. I didn't get around to meditating in the morning and procrastinated until around 8pm i did my hour of meditation.

    At the 50 min mark i looked at the timer, removed my timer and squeezed my legs to my chest. I was getting way too hot under the covers. My room is around 21 degrees but it felt like my feet, butt and balls were way too hot like they were sitting in a hot tub for 20 min. After a few min i sat back down normally without the covers and finished the hour.

    I fell asleep soon after at around 9pm without brushing my teeth for some reason and woke up at 11pm feeling like my dream lasted several days. I fell asleep eventually to wake up at 2am.

    On January 4th, i got up at 2am since I couldn't sleep, had some coffee, watched some YouTube, then meditated from 4:30am-5:30am and fell asleep again afterwards until 9:30am.

    I meditated for the whole hour without moving this time. This is the first time I have done that during this challenge. I will keep a counter of how many times I can meditate for an hour+ without moving. I was feeling very good when I found out that if I lean back just a tiny bit more than usual my lower back pain goes away. I was feeling great for the first 40 min or so then I heard a train in the distance and I started to feel disappointment for some reason. There was one point where I felt uncomfortable and started tensing up so that I wouldn't move. Then I reminded myself that my emotions won't cause me to move if I pay attention so I relaxed my muscles and just focused on the sensation in my heart, kept alert and watched it fade away. 

    Unmoving count: 1

  7. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    This year I plan to meditate every day for 1 hour. I have been meditating off and on for around 5 years but have never done it consistently for more than about a month. I will update the journal at least once a week and probably more when starting out. I want to write this journal to help me stay on track. 

    Today is January 2, 2019. Yesterday and today I sat for 1 hour in the morning from around 7am-8am.

    The method I used was:

    1. I sit on a meditation cushion that is on top of a pillow that is on my bed, I sit cross legged in a way that I try to keep my legs from falling asleep. I put covers and a pillow on my lap so i can rest my arms. 

    2. For the first 5-10 min I take a deep breaths focusing on relaxing my jaw as a breath out, then I add in relaxing my shoulders, arms hands stomach legs and feet. I do my best to sit up straight without bending to one side.

    3. When I am ready to move on I feel into my heart and stomach to see if I am feeling any emotions there and just watch what sensations come up. When i notice I am distracted by thinking I think to myself "thoughts are imagination, this is real" referring to the sensations that I am feeling in that moment and go back to feeling slowly through my body and focusing on any sensations that stand out. Sometimes I will switch to focusing on sounds or temperatures, pressures, pains , my heartbeat, my breath, my current body position or everything at once. 

    Usually after 30-45 min I feel very uncomfortable and sometimes have to stand up or lie down in bed but I quickly sit back up and begin again. As I continue meditating consistently for a month or so I expect to be able to sit through the full hour the majority of the time even if it is unpleasant at the 45 min mark.

    I am looking forward to having this become a habit for me. The benefits I have found in the past doing meditation include:

    -becoming less stressed

    -feeling more positive emotions 

    -enjoying everything I do more such as going for a walk, driving my car, working and spending time with my girlfriend.

    I hope to continue this list as I continue meditating consistently.

     

    -Jordan-

     

  9. Posted

    I don't understand what you mean that their are not different levels of consciousness. Maybe someone can help me understand. Aren't you generally more conscious when being mindful enjoying a walk in the park than watching tv and forgetting everything around you. Do you define consciousness differently or something? Maybe you have a much different paradigm of how reality works than me?

    I would consider the level of consciousness as the level of awareness of your surrounding reality which does seem to have different levels. 

  11. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    5 hours ago, Shroomdoctor said:

    Did you successfully do that? :)

    Yes i have been doing it full time since January this year. I did it part time for a couple years after work and on the weekends. This year I have been making on average around $3000-3500/month in profit which is about $9000 in sales / month but I have been working less than 40 hrs/week for sure. I have had problems with laziness. I worked 2 days this year at an actual job to help my old boss last Saturday and Monday and it makes me so grateful I am not working full time at a job anymore. So much less stressful. Plus Christmas time will be awesome. I plan to work as much as possible September-December so i can take it easy next year and focus more on my girlfriend, exercising, meditating, travelling and learning more about affiliate marketing online. 

    I would recommend everyone who doesn't really like their job to try out stuff like reselling or online affiliate marketing during their free time to see if they enjoy it and can make decent money on it. It is better for your future than just working overtime at the same job or wasting your time drinking and watching TV or whatever people do to spend their time. 

  12. Posted

    I had been working as a technologist for a mining engineering company and developed tendinitis in my wrists from being on the computer too much.

    1. Use a roller massage ball to massage your neck back an chest to get rid of your tendinitis

    2. Buy bitcoin when you have extra money and sell when it gets to $20000 USD. Buy stocks like Amazon, google, facebook alibaba apple

    3. Quit your job in the next 3 months and start buying stuff locally and reselling it online. It is more fun and you can make more money.

    4. Set up a meditation routine and spend time learning about how your emotions work.

  13. Posted

    Hello, I started following the Kriya yoga book at the beginning of April and took maybe 1.5 weeks off and am now getting back into it.

    I usually get pain in my forehead and eyes when i focus between my eyebrows during the concentration. I do my best not to strain my eyes and keep the muscles in my head relaxed which seems to help but sometimes i still do get quite a bit of pain even doing 5 min. keeping my eyes pointed forward instead of up seems to lessen the pain too.

    Does anyone have any suggestions for me about this? 

    As for any benefits, my mind does go much more quiet during concentration than when i meditate and when i decide to meditate after the kriya practice my mind is a lot more relaxed. I noticed compared to when I took a break I am a lot more aware of my thoughts and am less lazy and in a better mood.

    Also i just read Lesson 10 and was planning on following it today and I read Navel as Nasal the whole time and I was planning on tapping my nose instead of my navel hahaha. That would be funny if I did that for a few weeks without realizing my mistake.

     

  14. Posted

    Day 34 April 4, 2016

    Yesterday I meditated before bed after putting away my computer. I didn't move fore the whole 60 min :). 

    I read something about posing in a power poses increasing testosterone and decreasing cortisol. Today I decided to do my first 10 min of meditation standing up head high chest spread with my arms on my hips and alternating between that and having my arms up and face tilted back like I am celebrating. I did feel good when doing that. The rest of the meditation whet ok. I felt itchy at many points in my body throughout. I decided to do a 3 day fast so right now I am 48 hours in so that might have caused me to feel itchy for some reason. 

  15. Posted

    Day 32 April 2, 2016

    The day before yesterday I moved but yesterday I didn't. I have added a new rule that if I move my arms or legs or open my eyes I have to add time to my timer equal to half of the time I have done so far. I moved with 3 min left today so I put the timer back to 32 min giving me 30 seconds to put my phone down turn off the lights and find a comfortable position.

    For days 30-60 I am supposed to be aware of my thoughts let them go. I find it hard when I have a song in my head. I have found it helps when I put all my effort on focusing on my breath and my shoulders being relaxed and my posture.

  16. Posted

    Day 29, March 30, 2016

    Today I meditated before bed again. I was able to focus much more and was able to sit still for the whole hour.  It seemed shorter than some sessions. I did drift off several times but not nearly as long as the last three sessions. I sat with my legs farther apart than usual which seemed to give me more stability. I noticed tension in my shoulders at one point and it felt like they dropped over an inch when I relaxed them. 

  17. Posted

    Day 28 March 29, 2016

    The last few days I have had a really hard time focusing when meditating. I have been drifting off much more than usual and haven't been able to sit still. I have been meditating before bed and haven't been updating this because my computer has been put away already. I will try meditating earlier on in the day so I can update this, make sure I don't miss a day without realizing it and have more energy.

  18. Posted

    Day 22 March 23, 2016

    wow I didn't realized I haven't posted in so many days. I am a little surprised I haven't missed a day yet. I have still been keeping consistent an hour a day but a few days I have tried breaking it up. I set my timer for an hour then get up and take a break if i feel like it usually around 40-45 min in. I figured this might help me focus for the last bit of time when i feel tired and seem to get lost in thought more. It seems to help a bit and feels much easier. I learned to sit further back in my chair to be more comfortable. I have also started putting a pillow in my lap so they can support my arms better. I feel a little more aware than when I started. It seems like a slow but consistent process meditating every day to increase awareness.

    I haven't been doing my self inquiry like I planned to when I started. I am going to just stick with recording my meditation for now. I do some self inquiry when writing my journal in the morning and when i am waiting in a line or on the toilet so it isn't like I completely stopped it.

    My top 10 values are: honesty, drive, ease, playfulness, independence, gratefulness, acceptance, awareness, open mindedness, adventure

  19. Posted

    Day 16 March 17, 2016

    I meditated today and the previous days. I just didn't get around to posting about them. I tried my best to not move today except for swallowing and breathing. I did fine for the first half or so but then my butt felt like it was heating up like I was sitting on a stove and getting burnt slowly. I started sweating drops down my back and could smell my sweat. I ended up keeping my arms and legs still but I did tense up my legs at one point to take some pressure off my butt. There were a lot of images coming up in my mind. I didn't really make much sense of them and just tried to be aware that they were thoughts. It felt pretty intense it seemed much longer than 1 hour.

  20. Posted

    Day 10, March 11, 2016

    I went out to the club at 11:30pm without meditating yet so I meditated for 20 min on the train and 40 min when I got home at 3:30am

    Day 11, March 12, 2016

    I meditated in the morning after getting little sleep from clubbing last night. It was really hard to focus and I kept drifting off, moving and feeling bored/frustrated. 

  21. Posted

    Day 9, March 10, 2016

    I meditated later in the day today. I am going to do some self inquiry before bed. I had my phone charged but it kept switching between charging and coming unplugged until I eventually got annoyed and unplugged it. I noticed that I keep tension in my gut pretty much whenever i have checked for it. I realize this is unhealthy so I am working on being mindful of it and taking slow deep breaths and consciously relaxing throughout the day.

     

     

  22. Posted

    I feel this way sometimes. I recommend you should try meditating and do your best to feel how you are feeling without resisting. Just notice the sensations in your body without labeling them good or bad. Sit up straight not lying down or you will fall asleep. This can help you change your emotional state and can help.

    Also eliminate all distractions for the next few days such as this forum, facebook, video games, porn, unhealthy food or anything else that lets you keep feeling like everything is fine and therefor you can sit around a do nothing. 

     

  23. Posted

    Day 8, March 9, 2016

    I just finished my meditation. I had a big misunderstanding with my girlfriend and we are going to meet up for lunch tomorrow to talk about it. This is where my mind was the whole meditation. What basically happened is she asked me for a large sum of money over text to help pay off a debt of hers she needed to pay off by the end of the month and I didn't like how she asked this over text and not in person so I could better understand the situation and come to a solution that hopefully doesn't include me handing over a bunch of money. She took this as meaning I didn't trust that she would pay me back. When I look at how I feel I realized I literally feel like I would die of be an unforgivable person if I ran out of money and her asking for so much would put me at risk of this. It seems silly thinking about it logically but I still have that fear. 

    I cried more than I ever have at one time during this meditation. I started to think how much pain she must have been in when she came to the conclusion that I didn't trust her even though she trusted me so much and she couldn't count on me like she thought. 

    So I learned about my unhealthy belief that I will die or at least be an unforgivable person if I run out of money. This is probably is part of the reason I carry a lot of stress and negative judgments of myself and others and have emotional triggers when it comes to spending money. I am going to work on this and find a way to prove to myself that running out of money is something I can handle without being a bad person or it killing me and that maybe it is not necessarily a bad thing.

     

  24. Posted

    Day 7 March 8, 2016

    I just finished my meditation for today. I was able to stay almost completely still for the whole hour. One of my eyes flickered open for a split second and I started to lean to the right once but then stopped myself. I didn't swallow or check my timer or crack my wrists like I have done previously. I discovered that the reason I couldn't help but move before was because I was feeling an emotion and I wanted to distract myself from it by moving and finding something else to put my attention on. Today I focused very intensely on how I was feeling and didn't move because I realized it was in my best interest not to distract my focus. Also maybe 6 times i felt like I was being jolted awake after starting to drift into thought. This might be because I didn't get as much sleep last night as I usually do.  

  25. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    Day 6, March 7, 2016

    I meditated today after taking a shower and drinking some water. My mind was thinking about what reality really is and how far off memory is from actually observing it. I noticed that when I put my focus on my thoughts looking for what their content is and not accepting it as the truth my thoughts stop mid thought. After 40 min I got restless and looked at the timer. it took about 10 min to calm down again. I think my mind's ability to focus on being aware gets depleted and it is easier to get lost in thought which is why I get so restless at around the 40-45 min mark. It could also be because I know I should be pretty close to finishing.  

    Some insights from my self inquiry yesterday were that my memories are really far off from reality but I still believe emotionally they are true especially when I am not aware I am lost in thought. When I realize that my thoughts are not the same they lose a lot of their emotional influence. For example I looked at my fridge, looking away while still having the memory of the fridge in my mind feeling I know exactly where it is in space and what it looks like then look at the fridge realizing there are many details of it that were not part of my memory of it. Also i traced back some of my insecurities such as fear of talking to strangers and not working hard when getting work done to a belief that I am not good enough. I believe that this belief is not benefiting me as much as it limits me so I will find ways to prove to myself that I really am good enough such as finding examples of how I am and reframing the examples I have supporting it.