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Everything posted by Jordan

  1. January 5 This morning I meditated from 7am-8am. I kept getting carried away in thoughts thinking about the stock market, a video game I have been playing and whether I was sitting properly or worrying about back pain. My back started twitching when i tried sitting up straight but it was fine after a few min. I felt an emotion that felt like dread that was moderately powerful for about 1 min but it went away quickly when i got alert since I didn't want to move. I sat without moving the whole time which wasn't very hard today maybe because I was lost in thought for longer than usual. I think I had trouble focusing because I was sleepy. Unmoving count: 2
  2. On January 3rd I woke up really late because I tried to go to bed early then I woke up before midnight and couldn't sleep for several hours. I didn't get around to meditating in the morning and procrastinated until around 8pm i did my hour of meditation. At the 50 min mark i looked at the timer, removed my timer and squeezed my legs to my chest. I was getting way too hot under the covers. My room is around 21 degrees but it felt like my feet, butt and balls were way too hot like they were sitting in a hot tub for 20 min. After a few min i sat back down normally without the covers and finished the hour. I fell asleep soon after at around 9pm without brushing my teeth for some reason and woke up at 11pm feeling like my dream lasted several days. I fell asleep eventually to wake up at 2am. On January 4th, i got up at 2am since I couldn't sleep, had some coffee, watched some YouTube, then meditated from 4:30am-5:30am and fell asleep again afterwards until 9:30am. I meditated for the whole hour without moving this time. This is the first time I have done that during this challenge. I will keep a counter of how many times I can meditate for an hour+ without moving. I was feeling very good when I found out that if I lean back just a tiny bit more than usual my lower back pain goes away. I was feeling great for the first 40 min or so then I heard a train in the distance and I started to feel disappointment for some reason. There was one point where I felt uncomfortable and started tensing up so that I wouldn't move. Then I reminded myself that my emotions won't cause me to move if I pay attention so I relaxed my muscles and just focused on the sensation in my heart, kept alert and watched it fade away. Unmoving count: 1
  3. I am not sure if someone asked about this yet but I just read lesson 10 and it mentioned to say 108 repetitions of your mantra aloud and mentally chant your mantra during every free moment of your day. I must have missed where it talked about mantras. I don't have a mantra. I searched mantra in the index but didn't find where it talked about them. Where can I find more info on this?
  4. I don't understand what you mean that their are not different levels of consciousness. Maybe someone can help me understand. Aren't you generally more conscious when being mindful enjoying a walk in the park than watching tv and forgetting everything around you. Do you define consciousness differently or something? Maybe you have a much different paradigm of how reality works than me? I would consider the level of consciousness as the level of awareness of your surrounding reality which does seem to have different levels.
  5. This show, especially the original dragon ball, got me motivated to start working out when i was in high school. Maybe I will watch the episodes where Goku and Krillen are training with master Roshi delivering milk and running away from dinosaurs it again with enlightenment in mind rather than strength. Thanks for sharing
  6. Yes i have been doing it full time since January this year. I did it part time for a couple years after work and on the weekends. This year I have been making on average around $3000-3500/month in profit which is about $9000 in sales / month but I have been working less than 40 hrs/week for sure. I have had problems with laziness. I worked 2 days this year at an actual job to help my old boss last Saturday and Monday and it makes me so grateful I am not working full time at a job anymore. So much less stressful. Plus Christmas time will be awesome. I plan to work as much as possible September-December so i can take it easy next year and focus more on my girlfriend, exercising, meditating, travelling and learning more about affiliate marketing online. I would recommend everyone who doesn't really like their job to try out stuff like reselling or online affiliate marketing during their free time to see if they enjoy it and can make decent money on it. It is better for your future than just working overtime at the same job or wasting your time drinking and watching TV or whatever people do to spend their time.
  7. I had been working as a technologist for a mining engineering company and developed tendinitis in my wrists from being on the computer too much. 1. Use a roller massage ball to massage your neck back an chest to get rid of your tendinitis 2. Buy bitcoin when you have extra money and sell when it gets to $20000 USD. Buy stocks like Amazon, google, facebook alibaba apple 3. Quit your job in the next 3 months and start buying stuff locally and reselling it online. It is more fun and you can make more money. 4. Set up a meditation routine and spend time learning about how your emotions work.
  8. Hello, I started following the Kriya yoga book at the beginning of April and took maybe 1.5 weeks off and am now getting back into it. I usually get pain in my forehead and eyes when i focus between my eyebrows during the concentration. I do my best not to strain my eyes and keep the muscles in my head relaxed which seems to help but sometimes i still do get quite a bit of pain even doing 5 min. keeping my eyes pointed forward instead of up seems to lessen the pain too. Does anyone have any suggestions for me about this? As for any benefits, my mind does go much more quiet during concentration than when i meditate and when i decide to meditate after the kriya practice my mind is a lot more relaxed. I noticed compared to when I took a break I am a lot more aware of my thoughts and am less lazy and in a better mood. Also i just read Lesson 10 and was planning on following it today and I read Navel as Nasal the whole time and I was planning on tapping my nose instead of my navel hahaha. That would be funny if I did that for a few weeks without realizing my mistake.
  9. Hello, I am Jordan. I live in Vancouver Canada. I have watched Leo's meditation and enlightenment videos and have not done much other research on the topic. I have decided on fallowing his plan from one of his videos to meditate daily doing: 30 days of being aware of your thoughts and not try to do anything with them. 30 days of being aware of your thoughts and letting them go. 30 days of being aware of how aware you are. I plan to do this every day for 1 hour I also plan on doing self inquiry work every day for 1 hour and will write here what my current beliefs are and update with new insights. I welcome any suggestions, encouragement or info that you might find useful for me. I stated March 2, 2016 meditating everyday so today is my 4th day of meditation and self inquiry for an hour each day. Insights for Day 4 March 5, 2016: I meditated first in the morning. I started focusing more on my emotions than my thoughts although this wasn't the instructions. I tried not to move but I ended up checking the time with about 5 min left, cracking my wrists and adjusting my sitting position a few times. My awareness of my thoughts and emotions are noticeably higher than when I started. Today I felt pretty calm for the first 45 min or so then got agitated and wanted it to end feeling much better when I saw there was 5 min left. I walked around a park by my house when doing my self inquiry work. I am going to list my current believes as they come to me. This is mostly for me to be able to look back on so it might be in a jumble. My current believe is that I have no control over my thoughts , emotions or movements and what I am is an idea created by my mind that there is an entity aware of my senses, emotions and thoughts. From what I understand from my own observations, my emotions affect my thoughts and my thoughts affect my emotions and they both have their own intellect and analyse my senses and each other and produce content that I can perceive. All i can do is be aware and the mind and emotions decide in my subconscious how to move and act . The mind may be able to learn to control itself better though meditation. emotions have a bigger influence on thoughts than thoughts on emotions. If my emotions and thoughts come to the same decision on what to do, I feel more at peace and when they conflict I feel more resistance which is i think how my emotional system tries to influence my mind. Since the mind is less powerful and more adaptable I think it is super important to increase my awareness so my mind can make better decisions to create an environment where I feel motivated, at peace and content. This could be through dropping thoughts realizing they are not an accurate perception of reality and acting more though instinct while remaining aware of my thoughts and emotions so my mind can work well together. There are probably more senses than I am aware of that are inputs into mind and emotional system such as memories, beliefs, instincts and maybe things like light on my skin and magnetic fields or other things I am unaware of. I am not sure how to test this theory though. -Jordan-
  10. Day 34 April 4, 2016 Yesterday I meditated before bed after putting away my computer. I didn't move fore the whole 60 min :). I read something about posing in a power poses increasing testosterone and decreasing cortisol. Today I decided to do my first 10 min of meditation standing up head high chest spread with my arms on my hips and alternating between that and having my arms up and face tilted back like I am celebrating. I did feel good when doing that. The rest of the meditation whet ok. I felt itchy at many points in my body throughout. I decided to do a 3 day fast so right now I am 48 hours in so that might have caused me to feel itchy for some reason.
  11. Day 32 April 2, 2016 The day before yesterday I moved but yesterday I didn't. I have added a new rule that if I move my arms or legs or open my eyes I have to add time to my timer equal to half of the time I have done so far. I moved with 3 min left today so I put the timer back to 32 min giving me 30 seconds to put my phone down turn off the lights and find a comfortable position. For days 30-60 I am supposed to be aware of my thoughts let them go. I find it hard when I have a song in my head. I have found it helps when I put all my effort on focusing on my breath and my shoulders being relaxed and my posture.
  12. Day 29, March 30, 2016 Today I meditated before bed again. I was able to focus much more and was able to sit still for the whole hour. It seemed shorter than some sessions. I did drift off several times but not nearly as long as the last three sessions. I sat with my legs farther apart than usual which seemed to give me more stability. I noticed tension in my shoulders at one point and it felt like they dropped over an inch when I relaxed them.
  13. Day 28 March 29, 2016 The last few days I have had a really hard time focusing when meditating. I have been drifting off much more than usual and haven't been able to sit still. I have been meditating before bed and haven't been updating this because my computer has been put away already. I will try meditating earlier on in the day so I can update this, make sure I don't miss a day without realizing it and have more energy.
  14. Day 22 March 23, 2016 wow I didn't realized I haven't posted in so many days. I am a little surprised I haven't missed a day yet. I have still been keeping consistent an hour a day but a few days I have tried breaking it up. I set my timer for an hour then get up and take a break if i feel like it usually around 40-45 min in. I figured this might help me focus for the last bit of time when i feel tired and seem to get lost in thought more. It seems to help a bit and feels much easier. I learned to sit further back in my chair to be more comfortable. I have also started putting a pillow in my lap so they can support my arms better. I feel a little more aware than when I started. It seems like a slow but consistent process meditating every day to increase awareness. I haven't been doing my self inquiry like I planned to when I started. I am going to just stick with recording my meditation for now. I do some self inquiry when writing my journal in the morning and when i am waiting in a line or on the toilet so it isn't like I completely stopped it. My top 10 values are: honesty, drive, ease, playfulness, independence, gratefulness, acceptance, awareness, open mindedness, adventure
  15. Day 16 March 17, 2016 I meditated today and the previous days. I just didn't get around to posting about them. I tried my best to not move today except for swallowing and breathing. I did fine for the first half or so but then my butt felt like it was heating up like I was sitting on a stove and getting burnt slowly. I started sweating drops down my back and could smell my sweat. I ended up keeping my arms and legs still but I did tense up my legs at one point to take some pressure off my butt. There were a lot of images coming up in my mind. I didn't really make much sense of them and just tried to be aware that they were thoughts. It felt pretty intense it seemed much longer than 1 hour.
  16. Day 10, March 11, 2016 I went out to the club at 11:30pm without meditating yet so I meditated for 20 min on the train and 40 min when I got home at 3:30am Day 11, March 12, 2016 I meditated in the morning after getting little sleep from clubbing last night. It was really hard to focus and I kept drifting off, moving and feeling bored/frustrated.
  17. Day 9, March 10, 2016 I meditated later in the day today. I am going to do some self inquiry before bed. I had my phone charged but it kept switching between charging and coming unplugged until I eventually got annoyed and unplugged it. I noticed that I keep tension in my gut pretty much whenever i have checked for it. I realize this is unhealthy so I am working on being mindful of it and taking slow deep breaths and consciously relaxing throughout the day.
  18. I feel this way sometimes. I recommend you should try meditating and do your best to feel how you are feeling without resisting. Just notice the sensations in your body without labeling them good or bad. Sit up straight not lying down or you will fall asleep. This can help you change your emotional state and can help. Also eliminate all distractions for the next few days such as this forum, facebook, video games, porn, unhealthy food or anything else that lets you keep feeling like everything is fine and therefor you can sit around a do nothing.
  19. Day 8, March 9, 2016 I just finished my meditation. I had a big misunderstanding with my girlfriend and we are going to meet up for lunch tomorrow to talk about it. This is where my mind was the whole meditation. What basically happened is she asked me for a large sum of money over text to help pay off a debt of hers she needed to pay off by the end of the month and I didn't like how she asked this over text and not in person so I could better understand the situation and come to a solution that hopefully doesn't include me handing over a bunch of money. She took this as meaning I didn't trust that she would pay me back. When I look at how I feel I realized I literally feel like I would die of be an unforgivable person if I ran out of money and her asking for so much would put me at risk of this. It seems silly thinking about it logically but I still have that fear. I cried more than I ever have at one time during this meditation. I started to think how much pain she must have been in when she came to the conclusion that I didn't trust her even though she trusted me so much and she couldn't count on me like she thought. So I learned about my unhealthy belief that I will die or at least be an unforgivable person if I run out of money. This is probably is part of the reason I carry a lot of stress and negative judgments of myself and others and have emotional triggers when it comes to spending money. I am going to work on this and find a way to prove to myself that running out of money is something I can handle without being a bad person or it killing me and that maybe it is not necessarily a bad thing.
  20. Day 7 March 8, 2016 I just finished my meditation for today. I was able to stay almost completely still for the whole hour. One of my eyes flickered open for a split second and I started to lean to the right once but then stopped myself. I didn't swallow or check my timer or crack my wrists like I have done previously. I discovered that the reason I couldn't help but move before was because I was feeling an emotion and I wanted to distract myself from it by moving and finding something else to put my attention on. Today I focused very intensely on how I was feeling and didn't move because I realized it was in my best interest not to distract my focus. Also maybe 6 times i felt like I was being jolted awake after starting to drift into thought. This might be because I didn't get as much sleep last night as I usually do.
  21. Day 6, March 7, 2016 I meditated today after taking a shower and drinking some water. My mind was thinking about what reality really is and how far off memory is from actually observing it. I noticed that when I put my focus on my thoughts looking for what their content is and not accepting it as the truth my thoughts stop mid thought. After 40 min I got restless and looked at the timer. it took about 10 min to calm down again. I think my mind's ability to focus on being aware gets depleted and it is easier to get lost in thought which is why I get so restless at around the 40-45 min mark. It could also be because I know I should be pretty close to finishing. Some insights from my self inquiry yesterday were that my memories are really far off from reality but I still believe emotionally they are true especially when I am not aware I am lost in thought. When I realize that my thoughts are not the same they lose a lot of their emotional influence. For example I looked at my fridge, looking away while still having the memory of the fridge in my mind feeling I know exactly where it is in space and what it looks like then look at the fridge realizing there are many details of it that were not part of my memory of it. Also i traced back some of my insecurities such as fear of talking to strangers and not working hard when getting work done to a belief that I am not good enough. I believe that this belief is not benefiting me as much as it limits me so I will find ways to prove to myself that I really am good enough such as finding examples of how I am and reframing the examples I have supporting it.
  22. I just finished my meditation for today. I left my phone on because I was expecting someone to come over and do some work for me and didn't want to just not respond to him for an hour. The first 25 min went well then i got some texts. I went back to meditating and the frequency of thoughts increased but it wasn't too bad. I came up with some insights. I heard Leo speak about controlling the interpretation of a situation to be able to control your emotions. When my butt started to hurt from sitting for a long time I remembered that suffering = pain * resistance. At first I tried to just accept the pain but it didn't do much. Then what I did was think about how low the pain is compared to some pain I have had before and in comparison it feels pretty good. That made me feel much better. I think this is why some people put a lot of importance on being grateful because interpretations of good and bad are just relative to what you are comparing something to. If I start to feel like I don't want to work today I will think to myself how much i enjoy working compared to being laughed at for being lazy. I will see if this helps my motivation.