manuel bon

I'm grateful for: Going into nature and drawing Feeling supported by Sara Practicing, even if it was not the best Not smoking, drinking, or taking drugs

⚫ Simple Journaling Lately, I've been feeling better. Honestly, I don't know what my body and mind really need, but I'm trying to be open and not stay home and do the same things. I still feel that life is difficult, and I need to learn how to navigate through all the challenges and feelings I have. I probably already said it in the past, but I was a weed smoker, I used to do it really a lot. in the last 2 or even 3 years, I did it regularly, on a weekly basis, and usually in the months of May, April, and June I would smoke every day. Really disgusting. But I get it, I was hurting, and that was a good way to numb myself and not think. I really like weed, the effect it gives, and the act of smoking, but I hate the fact that I get addicted so easily. I would love to be able to do it once every 2 months, same as psychedelics, just to have a good, profound, and insightful experience. But for my mind weed is a light drug, that yes can be spiritual, but also a great way to stop feeling. That's why I don't smoke anymore. I feel strong. I don't want to do it again. And I am proud of myself because I live in the Netherlands, where you can smell weed literally everywhere, and on top of that my flatmate smokes every day. I am grateful I say no every time I have the opportunity to smoke. It was easy to not smoke from June, because I was in Italy with my family, but once coming back here the real challenge started, and I'm doing good, I think. I say "I think", because a couple of times I drank beers, once I even did ketamine. I haven't drunk beer since December 2021, and in the summer I stopped the sobriety. But it's fine. I am aware of all this, and I decided not to drink either. Alcohol is not the same as weed, because I like it less, that's why it's not gonna be so difficult. Today though, I went to the park with my housemates to draw, and actually before leaving we were considering taking an HHC gummy I've been keeping here for some time; then we said to take mushrooms. After not taking anything, while going to the park we passed by my gf house, and I remembered that I left ketamine in her room, so I thought to go inside and take it. Now, thinking about this makes me feel kinda disgusted, or just sad about these thoughts. Eventually I didn't take any drugs, and I'm proud of that. I came back home and I'm journaling. I also talked about all this with Sara, my girlfriend, and that helped me. With her, I always feel loved, accepted, supported, and she is always here if I need it. She is a great person.

In 2 years he's probably gonna be like Biden. Just an old man with dementia who doesn't know what he's saying

Okay but still I don't understand why you say she's shallow And hollow Not judging just asking

Why you think she's like this?

Even if these issues were solved, there would still be a big gap to reach enlightenment. And I don't think trump is the one who will solve these things

I thought JR was not his supporter, why would he invite Trump

I'm grateful for: Sara and I have great talks and openness Being able to study in the morning before work

🟣⚫ YouTube & Guitar Practice I'm really happy about the fact that I am starting to practice more and better. I am getting back on track and playing good; I'm trying to be relaxed and focused. I'm also happy and grateful for the YouTube results. I got 59 subscribers in 26 days, I think that's a good outcome!

I'm grateful for: Having some fun at work Working to make money Seeing Sara Being a little bit productive before work Not forgetting about posting in YT

I'm grateful for: Having nice day Being productive Doing different things with Sara Doing the laundry Dad getting better

🟣⚫ Guitar Practice I'm happy I'm being productive again. Today I had a good guitar practiced, I did almost two hours. I will now have lunch, and later I will go with Sara somewhere to study, I will continue with the craniosacral theory for the course in November.

Wow

🟡 Investment overview The company I invested in is doing well, waiting for the phase 3 of the trials to have some good results. Looking good!

🟣 YT channel In 23 days I got 51 subscribers on YouTube. Feeling motivated and happy!

🔴 Family Update We changed neurologist for my dad. The one before scammed us: he advised us to bring him to a "great" centre where he will get better for sure. He stayed there 3 weeks before summer, and when he came back home he was worse that ever. Later on we discovered that the neurologist was the head of the centre looking for more patients to get funds from the government. What a bastard. This new neurologist sound really good, and gave my dad a new medicine. Well, it looks like it's helping him a lot. Dad has the ability to talk (so unlike people with ictus who have to learn to talk again), but he can't take out the words of his mouth. He can't express himself. Now though with this new medicine, he is starting to talk more and be more energetic. Let's hope for the best!

⚫ General things Some days I feel it's difficult to keep myself being aware of the things I previously said; But it's great that I manage to keep doing it every day. In the evening before sleep I rethink of the day and write down whatever I didn't already, trying to remember what happened and how I felt during the day. I won't stop doing this! It can help me be more conscious, and really become the watcher.

🟢 Meditation It's been pretty difficult to maintain a meditation practice. I love meditation, but lately I feel lazy. That's why I'm trying to do 5 to 10 minutes even guided meditations. I want to slowly build it up and make each session longer, and start again to go to meditation circles every Wednesday and Monday. It will take time, but I'm aware that's this is part of the journey.

I'm grateful for: Having nice moments with Sara Studying for craniosacral AI technology that helps me to study better and faster

When you awaken you don't believe in religions. From Wikipedia: TempleOS (formerly J Operating System, LoseThos, and SparrowOS) is a biblical-themed lightweight operating system (OS) designed to be the Third Temple prophesied in the Bible. It was created by American programmer Terry A. Davis, who developed it alone over the course of a decade after a series of manic episodes that he later described as a revelation from God. Doesn't sound like god realization to me

@Someone here i get everything that you say, and honestly I never had any realization of my true self. I've had crazy states of consciousness that go beyond the body, but no awakening or some experience like that. But accepting the concept of infinity makes me think that our true self is way more than the body, but infinity comprehends also the body... If that makes sense I agree with you when you say that having a body is a pain in the ass, but even if I am more than my body, that's where I reside right now and i don't want to think of it as a disgusting thing, that's still me after all, it's still part of the huge spectrum of infinity Imo it depends on the ego how it wants to see it or use it Thank you for sharing your insights! And I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable replying like this on your journal. I feel I have a lot to learn and you give interesting ideas, that's why I comment

Same for me. I love coffee with milk and some sweetener if the type of coffee I get is too strong

That's because Italians like big portions hehe

Yes it is a limitation, but its functions and itself are great the way they are. The body is such a complex machine, and personally I wouldn't call it disgusting.

Sorry man I don't want to look like I go against you and everything you say😅😂 but honestly I appreciate you sharing your thoughts I disagree when you say that our body is gross... I think that's just the ego talking