manuel bon

I am grateful for: Having the possibility to study abroad Having a loving family The technology that helps me to navigate around the world The lovely grandparents I have My grandparents being still alive

🟠 Emotions I'm feeling a little bit nervous. Tomorrow I'm going back to the Netherlands, probably this is what is making me feel kinda anxious. It's probably difficult to leave my family, even though sometimes I feel it's a tough environment, and I don't want to accept the fact that it's still difficult to go away. But I'll get used to it again, and I'll go back to Italy in a bit more than a month. In this case I don't know what to do. I am feeling these emotions which I fully recognize that come from an overthinking mind, and when I put myself in the present moment I feel that it's not right. I know it's still the mind reminding me that I should think, but to another extent I don't want that like this I avoid or hide those emotions from myself (and therefore accumulate more unprocessed emotions). The truth is that I don't know how to fully experience the emotions (so then I can let them go) without thinking, but simply by feeling. Cause on the moment I try to do that I just can't, not because it's difficult, but because the emotion kind of fades away. Idk it's just weird. When I will be alone in the Netherlands I will work on that properly!

@Davino I imagine that money is part of safety needs right?

Whatever you feel is totally fine man! You have needs for the mind and also for the body. Let yourself feel everything and most importantly you have to burn through your karma, exhaust what you need to exhaust. Don't repress anything.

Weird that he didn't reply to you with some other videos hahah He might be copy-pasting the post and ask chatgpt to give some yt videos or other sources to help

🟤 Video about brain trauma Great quote from the woman: "Live life deeply, enjoy the things that you have and don't be jealous of what you don't have." She's a really interesting and smart journalist, I would say a mixture of stage blue, orange and green of SD.

I am grateful for: Going back to the Netherlands tomorrow The improvements my dad did this summer My family coming to my final bachelor's exam back in June (we had great moments) Not having serious health issues

⚫ Gratefulness Journal Here's where I started my gratefulness journal, if you want to check it out.

🔴 Finally meeting my girlfriend Tomorrow I have a flight to Brussels Charleroi at 10am. I am going back to the Netherlands, and finally I will se my girlfriend again. I've been staying in Italy since June, so for almost 4 months, and during this period we met 2 times. Once she came to Italy, an the other time I went to Spain where she lives. We shared great moments, and I am grateful that I will see her again tomorrow. I am subrenting my room until next Friday, so I will stay at her's until then, and I'm so happy we can share these days together. I can't wait to be again in her arms, and have her between mine, and cuddle all night.

🟢 GATEWAY EXPERIMENT - Advanced Focus 10 22/09/2024 17:50 DAY 7 Today I did again the third tape. If was great until a certain moment I fell asleep. I made sure I would not fully lie, but that I would be kind of sitting comfortably, but I did sleep. I was listening intensely so I would not lose anything the guy was talking about, but then I woke up before the end, and I didn't realize I slept until I understood that it was the end. My body was comfortable and I didn't have any pain or discomfort, no saliva or other things that would disturb me. But yeah I slept, so this session doesn't count. I will redo it today or tomorrow.

Too many guys take "no fap" too seriously.

🟢 GATEWAY EXPERIMENT - Advanced Focus 10 21/09/2024 23:50 DAY 6 part 2 I just ended the third tape. This was somehow more intense, but still, I know I can get greater levels of relaxation. I felt again that tension behind my knees, so that was not nice. Tomorrow I will re-do it at least twice!

From the existential level, no. From the mind level, yes. From the mind level yes you do experience differently than me. I try not to believe to things.

ahahahah hilarious

🟣 Online Course: Beginning of a Journey I am not sure what I want to do with my life. But what I know for sure is that I want to help people somehow, and meditation has helped me a lot in the most difficult moments; so one idea would be teaching and guiding meditation and breathworks. I am 23, and still a student (just started a Master in the Conservatory - classical guitar), so I want to start with some basic groundwork. The plan is to share free videos, exercises, and info on Instagram and YouTube about those topics. I will already create videos for an online course that I will publish on my website, and all of this will also be part of my master's project, if possible. I watched a great video about how to make an online course, I found it really valuable.

🟢 GATEWAY EXPERIMENT - Introduction to Focus 10 21/09/2024 17:11 DAY 6 Yesterday I skipped the practice. I was emotionally and physically tired, I was really not in the mood. I had time to do it, but I preferred taking a nap instead. Today though I didn't skip the practice. I re-did the second tape of the first Wave, and it was great. It was for sure the best experience I've had with this tape. I kept my mind super focused on the sounds and voice of the audio, and even though sometimes I lost focus, I almost immediately put my attention back to the audio. The experience was great, I clearly felt what the audio said that I would feel: my mind sharp and awake, and my body relaxed and asleep. I Imagine this state can go even deeper since there are three or four more tapes for this specific state, called Focus 10. I am confident and happy to say that tomorrow (or even today) I will continue with the third track!

🟢 Spirituality in my life In general, I feel I am more conscious than other people. But it's also true that I fall into deep unconsciousness many times, and that happens especially when I am around unconscious people. It happens that I am never with more conscious people; unfortunately, I didn't meet this kind of people, not many of them. And if they are conscious, they are not my friends. I cannot see them on a weekly or monthly basis, and they are adults. I need people who can be my friends, and help me and teach me how to grow, to deepen my consciousness, overcome my mind, and be selfless. But it's difficult. I moved to the Netherlands and I met people that are more open-minded than in Italy. But still I cannot find people who are into spirituality or who are conscious, or if they are, they are on a "lower level" than me. I always feel like I need to teach how to be more conscious. And if I don't teach it, I fall into unconsciousness. It's pretty tough. Just to be clear, I don't want to look like I put myself on a pedestal or that I'm better, or above others.

🔴 Family Fight Yesterday was my 23rd birthday and my mom organized a gathering with my family. My grandparents came, cousins, aunt and her boyfriend whom I will call C. Everything was nice until we started talking about immigration and politics in general. The problem started with my grandpa and C. My grandpa is traumatized from WW2, and you can't have a different opinion about some things that he's really attached to or convinced about. C. had different ideas and he was really trying to get a reaction from him, so they all started screaming like mad people. I'm a certain moment I decided to stand up and telling everyone to get the fuck out of the house. My mom wasn't happy about it, cause it's not polite, but the truth is that what is REALLY not polite, is them, who got invited, my mom prepared and cooked for 2 days in a row, and then had the courage to scream in our house. And they are aware of the fact that our lives are really difficult after the accident, and we don't need madness, it's already difficult enough like this. I don't feel guilty of telling them to leave; eventually after some drama they didn't leave, but I told them that it's super unpolite to act like that, when they know that we suffer enough, and we don't need more of this bullshit!! Today I feel a bit nervous, my mind keeps talking and thinking about it, I will try to relax and let it go. I just hope that C. doesn't keep with this story.

🔴 Family Situation - Update: In the last week, the situation with my dad is going pretty well. Some months ago he started a particular therapy with a Chinese doctor, and we see that it helps a lot. After some time he told us that he should take two kinds of Chinese medicines: both are a mix of roots, herbs, etc., and said that they will make miracles. One kind is for the low chi, energy, he has, and the other one is for the arms, legs, and brain. Unfortunately, he said that they are pretty expensive, and the only way to buy them is from him. We did some research and, indeed, these plants can't be found in Europe (or at least we didn't find it online or in Chinese shops). Eventually, we did some calculations, and we understood that the therapies + the plants would be more than 1100€ per month, which is crazy. Apart from this expense, we have to pay so much more for dad's medicines, physiotherapy, speech doctor, psychologist, and more (my parents have some money saved, but their income is really low, just enough to cover these expenses and food). It is obvious that it was really too much, and we started thinking that he was probably scamming us. Well, my brother has a Chinese classmate, and a month ago she was in China, so we asked her to check in the pharmacies for those plants. So yes, the Chinese doctor was scamming us. He wanted 600€ per month, while the classmate bought 600€ worth of plants which will last for a YEAR. Apart from this scam, the doctor was right. Already after two weeks of taking these medicines, my dad is better. He is more mentally present, and slowly starting to walk. Let's see the progress he makes in a year! For next summer I hope that my dad walks fully alone, and starts to talk, at least a bit.

🔴 Family: general situation For those who don't know about me yet, here is a brief explanation of what is my family situation. In July 2022, my dad and brother had an accident with the motorcycle: a deer jumped right in front of them, and after hitting it they hit a tree. My brother had many surgeries, and now he is fine, but my dad is still recovering. He has a bad brain injury, and we are all working to make him better, trying to bring him back to normality.

❤️

Imo nothing is manly, that's just a label we created in and for our society

@OBEler how is a drug manly?

🔴 People in my life I'm so grateful for all the people present in my life. I am so grateful for the decision I made years ago to spend time only with quality people. Deep people. I don't have mamy friends, or people around me, but all of them love me, and are real. I don't need to party, I don't need more irrelevant things in my life. I am satisfied with a great deep conversation with my girlfriend or friend on a random Thursday night.

⚫ Just a thought I love life. Problems come just from the mind. How nice would it be if we all could overcome the mind. And just live and love life.