manuel bon

True, it just is whatever it is without purpose or intention. But finding or creating a purpose can help many people to navigate through the difficulties of life.

I don't get crazy palpitations, but I see my hands become shaky, which is not good for me, I am a guitar player and I need steady hands. Of course I don't drink coffee when I need to practice. Interesting, thank you for sharing! I didn't know all this

I'm not an expert, but don't all decaf coffees go through a strong chemical process? I read about it and from then I never drank decaf again; but probably it's not like this with all the coffees I guess... I imagine we have also genetically modified coffee plants without caffeine. to be honest I don't know.

yeah also cause most of them don't taste good, so I wouldn't even drink it only for the taste.

⚫ About Today: I went to sleep at 3 am last night; I didn't plan it, it just happened cause I was hanging out with some friends, and then I kept talking to my roommate and his gf. It was a nice evening, and I am happy we hung out; I'm also glad that I don't feel exhausted, but I will probably get tired in the afternoon while working. I will not have enough time to do the Gateway Experiment, but I already meditated today, which I am really happy about, I recorded a guided meditation for tomorrow, for YT, and my gf and I made a couple of WhatsApp groups for the two of us. each one is for different things: Interesting things (whatever ideas we have about literally anything) Micro-Fears Daily Journal (from Leo's video on what is fear) Daily Gratefulness Journal I feel like we are pushing each other to do good, to do better, and to take care of ourselves. I'm happy about it. Later I will also do some stretching/yoga.

I'm grateful for: not feeling too tired having time to do some things before work having a nice evening yesterday

It's okay don't worry, thank you for the message

Well first of all coffe increases blood pressure, it doesn't reduce it. Second of all it might be insignificant to you, that doesn't mean that it is for everyone. Also, that can be a small good things that along other good habits contributes to a healthy bodymind. If it's not extremely significant, it doesn't mean that it can't give benefits, or that I can't have "concerns" and ask about it on a forum.

I'm grateful for: Being consistent with YT having practiced already 1.5h today doing the meditation today having a great girlfriend

🟠⚫ How am I doing? About the last days. I am feeling better. I started practicing again, meditating, doing the Gateway experiment, and doing more activities in general. I'm happy about all of this. I'm taking small steps, and trying not to force too much. Today I did force myself, since I will work from 14, I need to get some things done before that, so I wanted to be productive. Actually I just noticed that I was planning all of my things as if I had to work at 13 instead of 14, which is kinda funny, but I'm glad that now I have more time and I don't need to stress too much. I will now study for the craniosacral course, and then record some guided meditations to upload on YT.

🟢 GATEWAY EXPERIMENT - Wave 1, Release & Recharge 18/10/2024 11:30 DAY 27 I did only half of the audio. I don't feel bad about it because I don't want to punish myself for not wanting to do the whole thing, but I want to feel good because I simply did it, even if not fully. I worked on releasing my sadness.

I'm grateful for: Having such a great day yesterday Starting taking photos with camera Not being so cold

Idk where does this come from? Wtf is this comment anyway

🟢 GATEWAY EXPERIMENT - Wave 1, Advanced Focus 10 17/10/2024 11:30 DAY 26 Today I didn't go as deep, probably because this exercise is pretty basic, slow, and I am already used to do all the things the audio says, without it's guide. But still I'm glad that I am keeping the practice up, and I want to keep doing like this. Tomorrow and in the next days I will do from the 4th track on which are deeper.

I'm grateful for: Having practiced guitar Doing a great activity with my gf Buying cute plants

🟠My ideas based on Chat GPT: I will live by the day, and see how is it going; about today: I will start by practicing at least 30 minutes of guitar at a time. It can be less, but still, I need to be as focused as I can. The goal is to practice at least 1.5 hours today, and with time slowly build it up, and be able to play a new piece in 2 weeks, for the next class. 30 minutes of craniosacral study Gateway experience for relaxation between the studies only 10 minutes of guided meditation is fine! in the afternoon I go with my gf to a painting/poetry place for students

🟠🟤 Chat GPT Responds to My Previous Post: It sounds like you're navigating a difficult space emotionally, physically, and mentally. You're aware of the things that need your attention—like studying, the Gateway Experience, craniosacral course preparation—but you're feeling disconnected from the energy or motivation to actually engage with them. I hear the frustration and the sense of emptiness you're experiencing, and it must be challenging to feel like you’re not able to connect to sadness or other emotions that might bring relief. It’s also common to feel out of sync when we’re not living in a way that aligns with what makes us feel good, like your preference for waking up early and feeling productive. It’s okay to take things one step at a time. It sounds like there's a desire to "snap out of it," but your body and mind might just need some gentle understanding right now. Since you have been taking breaks from studying, maybe the next step could be creating small, easy-to-manage routines that allow you to slowly re-engage with things you care about, without pressure. This could include: - Starting small with the Gateway Experience, perhaps just 5-10 minutes of meditation or Focus 10 exercises. - Dedicating short bursts of time to studying, so it doesn’t feel overwhelming. - Continuing to eat as healthily as you can manage, while allowing some flexibility with social eating. - Creating small moments of joy or relaxation throughout the day, whether it's listening to music, taking a walk, or doing a simple task that brings calm. It might help to give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, even if it's numbness or confusion. Your emotional landscape might shift as you begin to gently re-immerse yourself in these practices that usually help you. How do you feel about starting small like this? It might also be helpful to talk to someone who can hold space for these feelings, whether it's a friend, a counselor, or even writing more openly. You don’t have to have all the answers or solutions right away.

🟠⚫ Emotional State from these days So... Lately, I haven't been feeling great. I am, to some extent, taking time for myself. But... Also... Well, honestly, right now, I don't feel rested. Like... I don't feel like I took time really for myself. I took time from... From studying. Studying both for school, for the conservatory, and for the craniosacral course. Which... It's not the best because I should be studying and I have the course in a couple of weeks. I am not going to stress about it too much. I will still start doing all these things that I need to do also because, I mean, I have to go to classes and I need to be prepared and I need to be on time with assignments and these kinds of things. But still, I don't feel great about all this. Yesterday though, I went out and I had fun and it was nice. But now that I woke up, I felt, I realized that I don't like going to sleep so late and it was not extremely late. It was like probably around 1 am. But still, I am not happy about it. I don't feel good going to sleep so late and waking up so dizzy. I prefer waking up earlier and being productive. I mean, I am not like procrastinating right now but I am still... It's tough. It's tough how I feel. It's tough with my family situation. And it's difficult emotionally because I feel sad. Actually, I would like to feel sad but I don't feel sadness. I feel just empty and I don't know how to let myself feel sadness. I know I am conscious. I know I am aware of all these things. And to some extent, this does console me a little bit. But I would love to get better. And I am trying. Or am I? I don't know if I am. Really. But I hope in the future I will be able to feel better and slowly start feeling my emotions. I am also really lazy to do work on myself. I am not doing the gateway experiment. I am not meditating. I am not doing stretching. I am not taking care of myself. I am kind of eating healthy. That depends on whether I eat out with friends, which happened a couple of times. I am not doing anything. I feel like I am always complaining to other people about my roommate. He is always really dirty. And our friendship was really based on smoking weed. And now that I don't smoke anymore, I really don't appreciate so many things about living with him. But it's fine. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to do with myself. I would like to relax a little bit. Emotionally, physically. Really be able to let go. I do this guided gateway experiment and in those moments I am able to really relax and kind of let go. But still, towards the end I am always like, okay, let me take off my headphones and continue doing nothing, watching a movie or whatever. I am struggling but it's fine. It's fine. I can handle it and I know that one day it will get better. And actually, before November, I need to get started with studying the Cranio-Sacrale and the practice. So this is the right moment to do it.

I'm grateful for; Having fun today Being on schedule with my YT videos Being social today Painting Trying to relax

🟢 GATEWAY EXPERIMENT - Wave 1, Release and Recharge 16/10/2024 10:30 DAY 25 As I said yesterday, I went back to the first wave, and it was a good decision. I managed to do the whole exercise greatly, and actually I had a strong experience of expanded consciousness, and it happened pretty spontaneously and quickly, that was not the intention of the exercise, and not even mine. But still, is fine. I'll keep doing the 1st wave until I get constant great levels of relaxation and expanded awareness.

I'm grateful for: Making up with my gf My dad slowly starting to talk more

🟢 GATEWAY EXPERIMENT - Intro to Focus 12 15/10/2024 15:30 DAY 24 Today before doing the audio I took 4g of Green Kratom. I haven't taken Kratom in a long time, and I remembered that this plant makes my mind think more than usual. That disturbed the whole practice, not in a crazy bad way, but still. I didn't have any great experience, and that's probably because I haven't been doing this experiment as a daily practice. I'm not feeling great emotionally, and that makes it difficult to keep up with the practice. I will go back to the basic relaxation exercises to deepen them, and also start again with daily fixed practice.

Thanks for the nice explanation

@Ishanga I did not listen to the video, but from what@Asia P said: "you should make your whole life a meditation", same way as Osho says. In my opinion, all the types of meditation are great, and with those we should combine present moment awareness, make our whole life a meditation.

It's unethical on a professional level