Fabio

I made a somewhat similar post a year ago.. Finding Im struggling with the same underlying issue. Many girls Id never date. Though I dated a girl that's 39 for like 6-7 months recently and broke up about a month and a bit ago. I think what made her so crazy about me is that I was initially minimally attracted to her and she could kinda tell, which made me a challenge and with some time she kinda grew on me and I enjoyed her company and she had her shit together and treated me nicely, replied fast , happy to meet my needs, etc so it was nice. Problem is I found younger girls more attractive, and I didnt want to have kids with a girl who in a few years is like 44 and dating a girl whose 49 in 10 years when im 40 makes me feel like I aged quicker than necessary. When I approach a girl that I genuinely find attractive, as I have recently, I find it hard to keep my emotions in check. I tend to show how much I adore them quickly, when I find a girl physically attractive and she recipricates a bit, I tend to indulge. I went on a first date this monday with a girl, we went for a couple drinks and an appy, went to a beach, sat down, made out, smoked a joint, faced eachother, pulled her on top of me and made out and had a long hug. One guy even commented on how were "making him feel some kinda way" as in he liked the lovey vibe. She was kinda a hippy type, and talked about how she wants to be a stay at home mom one day and how life is about love etc . This is where I usually get messed up: She had such a beautiful face, that when we kissed and I looked at her it literally felt so heavenly and euphoric like god was blessing me with his attention or something, like the biggest rush of serotonin and peace, very addicting feeling. I texted her a couple days after our date in the evening (yesterday) to make plans in the next week, and the next day (today at 1pm) she hasn't replied yet. I've basically given up on trying to not think about it because the withdrawl from that heavenly feeling is so shitty, ive been just putting my time outside of work on just emotional healing techniques to try to manage it because I get logically how I should be super detached at this point. It seems like we connected kinda deeply, but I know thats the wrong thing to be focused on as a dude, as girls feelings develop slowly, its just the truth of how I felt about it . Anyway, I meditate a few times a week, been getting into holotropic breathwork and did it once a week ago and that was an amazing tool to get in touch with my traumas and release them. I know I should be approaching other women, but when I felt a bond with a girl, its hard to approach others but I can force myself if necessary, (yes I know I shouldn't be bonded with someone I just met, but how was I to avoid it?) and chances are she'll probably reply eventually, but still, knowing to myself that I thought this amount about her between the dates is like an issue I need to resolve even if she goes out with me again cause the attachment is unsustainable for a womans attraction and is hard to hide. Thus the title: What habits would be the top priority to build independence , low reaction to girls and their disintested behaviour after this type of date? To be as non needy as possible, preferably from the inside out. For example: Date more women, Meditate everyday, journal? Etc. Any dudes who have been in the same boat and have overcome it, if you could mention that as well would be appreciated.

Cool responses. Thanks everyone for for the contributions.

I actually might regret never seeing him in concert... damn. At least ive seen Paul Mccartney twice.

Gay bar? lol

@Hardkill If you can stomach a bit more judgement, you should be able to go to the same places as 20s and 30s and chat with them. Girls in their 30s should be cool with 40s dude. Heck Ive seen a girl in her 20s kiss a guy who must be like 50 or more once because he protected her from a creep. Girls can be surprising that way. Dating apps probably make more sense, the paid ones to find a long term partner if you want a normal, healthy relationship with out filtering through the taken women, etc in cold approach. You can go to community events, festivals, concerts, I see people in their 40s at these events all the time. Even places with young people usually have people in 40s-70s age range. Social circle can be a way as well.

Id .. find something you like wearing or improve something about your image you dont like. for example, if you're bald, wear a hat you like or whatever. Most people look better when they're smiling and have good posture. If you tend to hunch and look serious, try to work on it. Go out with some friends, have a couple drinks if needed and ask one of your friends to take candid pics of you throughout the night. Ideally without you noticing so you dont tense up and can be relaxed or smile. Like someone else said, learning cold approach will probably be better. I invested time into cold approach and I get way more results with cold approach than tinder and im a decent looking guy with okay photos. The algorithm doesnt really show my profile to attractive women unless I pay for a the subscription which i dont want to so I barely get matches. Then when I pay they all start flooding in and of the matches, only a few reply and very few go on dates. Its slow and kinda a waste of time as an only approach but eventually works, can be quick if lucky. Living in an area with attractive women and cold approaching is so much more effective and faster. Last two nights I went out to bars, I got two numbers and made out with both of them. So personally, I swipe only as an extra.

Im currently doing door to door setting up appointments for Solar evaluations. Commissions $500-$3500 typically, can be $5000+ CAD. I started in October 2024, and have averaged about $2900 a month (I was learning and had no sales first month).. The last 2 months Ive made $5k-9k month. A lot of potential for growth. But anyway, its hard, ideally a product that actually works and has real value . Door to door is a good playground for doing one of the simplest, yet emotionally difficult jobs with the ability of earning more than a doctors salary if you're disciplined. Its you vs you essentially if the company is good. And what I like about it is the freedom, being a sub contractor, and how you choose how much you're going to make with your dedication while learning to stomach tons of rejection, kinda like doing pick up. Can be fun too and you learn a lot about humans meeting 20 + people a day typically.

They are now called SMC "Self mastery Co". From what I can tell, its mostly Owen's youtube as the main marketing, and a team of staff (SMC) running the business end of things.

@NoSelfSelf yes

I've been cold approaching for the last year and a half pretty consistently 1-3 days a week, usually 1 day per week after my last relationship. I've been working on my inner game for about 10 years and consider myself decently mentally healthy. Since my last relationship, I've made almost no effort on dating apps. Been trying to meet people only through approaching. In the last year and a half, I've made out with close to 20 women, and been on dates with 7 women , some of them multiple dates and still seeing one. My self esteem is fine. I don't think cold approach causes low self esteem, but it will trigger your already existing low self esteem when you get rejected if you don't manage your state and emotions. It doesn't bother me, I expect rejection and don't take it personally. Most rejections end with us both smiling because she has a bf or something. Ya its easy to forget about your low self esteem when your hiding from anything that triggers you. Cold approach reveals it. Im not saying Im perfect, or don't have times when I feel bad, but it passes within a few minutes, hours or couple of days as long as Im doing emotional work and then I'm back to normal. Im sure if I continue, that my dating results will improve with time. The dudes in your examples have issues to begin with and don't want to face them. Thats probably the bigger issue. The guy went to jail for threatening murder and the videos hardly seem like an approach that's inviting romance , more so a debate on veganism being bad. Which is fine in sprinkles, but not as the whole conversation. You have to be smart with cold approach, you cant just be a monkey spamming the same location with cringy vibes forever.

I kinda agree that working on the internal while doing cold approach should be a priority.. More importantly this sense of inadequacy. I found when I feel bad about myself and there was no one to listen to me, I tuned inside, closed my eyes and tried to identify the feelings I am needing, the needs I have that aren't being met and feeling that kinesthetically. And imagine a conversation in my head with the person I wish was there to comfort me and meet my emotional needs and I would rub my arm or torso as if it was them to comfort myself while I told my frustrations to this person and they validated every thing I was feeling until the pain faded away. In other words, you imagine someone meeting your emotional needs and learn how to self validate yourself. This can help you be happier and be healing. You don't want to tell women all your emotional traumas or problems, but its ok to do this privately in your head to connect with yourself and heal. In the video when she was going to walk away and the way you said "You're just going to let love slip away like this?" It shows desperation, frustration, and can scare a woman and put her on guard. There's many women, and if you approach her like she's the last woman on earth , she's going to see you have no options. Towards the end of the video, you started to relax and talk about things you are more passionate about and that's good. Overall, the approach was ballsy and I salute you for that. When you run up to a girl, try to slow down a little right when you're getting close to her and walk past and turn to her so she doesn't get the feeling that its an emergency. You want to give her the vibe that you are a safe, fun and an enjoyable person to be around. Dont tell her this unless its in a playful tone, become it and show it to her. Its like Owen Cook says " if you can masturbate, then you can change your state enough to get aroused and cum to pixels on a screen or an image in your head. So if you can do that, you also have the power to control your state so you are fun and charismatic and thinking about things that are fun to you. " This is easier after trauma release work, but can be something you work on now. Instead of approaching a woman from a place of extracting love from her, realize your internal state has been like a dry well that you could be filling up through things like the exercise I mentioned at the beginning and other trauma healing exercises. Focus on the good in your life, and goals that feel good to you. Take this as a long term game, 27 is not old. You're definitely going to be fine, but do the work. A woman will NOT complete you. Love yourself.

Damn , some people just cant be helped lol

I have had experiences like that, maybe 6 months dry spells.. where despite my efforts in game I didn't get past 2nd base.. a lot of close ones. To be relatable, I understand the feeling of like feeling Im never going to get laid again and blaming myself or women. Im almost 30 and experienced that many times, and it has eventually always happened again. Been seeing two new girls in the last month and a half .. but I've been putting in the work for the last year and a half. It seems like its getting easier and could happen even more often. Anyway, the thing that changed things most for me is working on my mindset and being okay whether or not it happens and reminding myself constantly that its okay and I'm valuable either way. 25 is not old. You underestimate how much you can change if you put in the work internally and externally. The process can be enjoyable, I've made a lot of guy friends through learning game too. Its okay to feel down, but see it for what it is , just a feeling and temporary perspective.

@Schizophonia because it quickly makes a 10 feel like a 7 or 6

Just remember that pretty girls fart, shit, get diarhea and vomit. It'll help centre your mind.

I used to have a job good for listening to audiobooks. I got an Audible membership and listens to very many books. You could pick good titles from Leos book list about whatever you're struggling with.

I think Owen would come around. He seems to try to forgive everyone. Especially someone high consciousness like Leo. That video was a long time ago and Owen would probably disagree with things he did in the past.

If Leo could get on Joe Rogans podcast I think it would be epic. Leo has a lot of out there perspectives that would be interesting for his audience. It’s just getting their team onboard

Hi, I met a girl outside a bar. We talked for a minute or two and then we made out. Exchanged numbers, and left separately soon after. I texted her the following week and she often took a long time to reply, or had unexpected work shift come in the way of our plans. She has 3 jobs. After 2 weeks, we finally did meet up in the morning 10am because that's the only time she had available. Its clear over text that she was super unsure about me; asking for my Instagram and other things to confirm that its safe. Even when we met up, she was still expressing some concern but she did relax a bit. Even invited me to join her the next day for a photoshoot she was doing because she didn't know the people she was capturing. Anyway, we had a picnic by the water and shared our interests and we like a lot of the same music. After eating, we went to my campervan and after some mild resistance, she wanted to hook up and we did. I drove her home, all good. Next day, I asked if she needed me at the photoshoot after her not saying anything all day and it was almost time to be there. She said she was fine and didn't need me there in a roundabout unclear way in which I replied with a thumbs up emoji. And she "loved" the text. A week later, I texted her "Hey, how've you been busy girl? " . 12 hours later she replied "hey! I've been working and enjoying the weather haha wbu?" at 11 on a friday night . The next day (Saturday) 1pm, I say "Aw nice, me too. You free next week to do something?" The next day (Sunday) I hear nothing. Monday, I get a read receipt but no reply or acknowledgement. Finally tuesday 1am, she replies with "i have a couple of hours tomorrow morning, Wednesday evening, or Thursday lunch" so basically 3 days later she replies. Meanwhile, in the meantime I'm going out with friends, doing work, did a few approaches, got one pretty Korean girls number who lives 40 minutes away in a city I visit most weeks. Even with that all, I was feeling hurt that she was ignoring me and even with her reply, I feel like not acknowledging her taking 3 days and just accepting the date seems wrong somehow. Its like, almost everything about her texting indicates shes not interested, and most people would say so but then she makes plans and hooks up. Now some dating advice would say "take 2-3 days to reply back like she did so you don't seem more invested in her than her into you" and others say, that "even though its hypocritical, it'll piss her off if you do it back and could lose her" Im just kind of tired of suffering waiting for her texts even if there's some romance and sex for a few hours at the end of it. (Im already doing things like the Sedona method, meditation, etc to process my feelings around being ignored) What do you think I should do next? I have already told her before that I had to cancel a plan because it was too short notice after her taking so long to reply. Thanks

"No, try to become that mindset. Practice it at all times so it starts to become who you are. Women can also sense wanababe's. You probably don't have to work that hard, though, with a name like Fabio. lol. That's a player's name..hehe." @Princess Arabia Hah thanks.. Some friends say "make up a nickname" and Im like "I dont need to, they already don't believe its my real name and want to see my ID lol"

A noble goal. Thanks. The irony is , if another girl wanted to hook up that same night, it would have felt like a chore hahahaha, But I'll try to get that mindset at the beginning of the night.

lol ya I mean thats ideal. From a couple of minutes of watching his other video, it seems he's already known by a lot of people and lives this life style. Seen as high as status in his community and has a relaxed confidence, and truly has a ton of options. Ya, when your game is that good, dress good and you're making good money, and you actually care less whether the next girl works out, it becomes easy mode. For 95% of guys on this forum who aren't extroverted or experienced, this will be like a 5 year goal if they work hard. Its not something you execute smoothly without experience by just watching a video lol. Though it can happen by accident on a good night out here and there. One night I hooked up with a girl, and went back to the bar 10 minutes later and like 3 girls approached me. I wasn't that attracted, but it was unusual. I could swear they could smell the natural perfume the last girl left on me and how little I cared about getting them. One was like trying hard. Another made out. haha. Its weird. Not my average night out currently. I take this post more as a vision board of how you'd like to be approached by your dream pre-selected alpha lol.

Try this one. Its kinda geared a bit more for sales, but its still relevant and carries over to other areas of life. Try the exercises at home with the video to get the most value out of it. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1005899459919129&ref=sharing I wrote in notes that there is some exercises around 1:22:00 . There is more parts of the video that he does other exercises. The point is not to talk like this all the time, its so you can if you want to.

Its opening a can of worms.. I agree, getting good at pick up is a long, process with a lot of disappointments along the way, as well as a lot of fun and learning experiences. The main lesson lately I learned is to control your own state. To game yourself If you will. As far as this "Any guy who has developed this legendary skill should feel entitled to use it whenever and however guilt free. ." I can see this being a bit of a dangerous mindset. Its like creating a weapon over years, and because of the difficulty of acquiring it, you are now entitled to torture anybody in however way pleasures yourself. Of course, I'm kinda exaggerating the pain caused by dating but taken too far, its unnecessary suffering. For one, you need to ask yourself your moral character and what you would feel good about. Do you feel better about yourself having sex with a girl who only wants a relationship to marry and you lie to her? As well, if you are truly the amazing pick up artist who can attract many attractive women, are you going to really choose to resort to methods that you consider or even wonder are "immoral"? Or you going to choose situations that feed your soul as much as possible? Something to think about. Something I wonder myself of what's possible. Many women seem to choose low consciousness behavior, and you aren't going to change that. But if I can, id prefer to date in a way that makes me feel like I did the right thing,. And that might be a dirty hookup with a girl who wants the same thing and probably cares less if I commit to her. Or date a girl that wants a relationship and likes the activities that I like. That sounds even better. You might be different. Catch the drift?

@Something Funny Ive been enjoying Owen cooks content (paid and on Youtube). Some people criticize his over the top loud personality, but I went to his free tour last week and I got to say, he surely stretches your comfort zone. Especially if you try to replicate him. Best to try to imitate his exercises in your house if your only watching his videos to learn better. I spoke in front of the room, and he kept yelling "louder!" even though I thought I was shouting already. This is because its a big room. But it's easy to get in a routine behavior and not even realize the diverse ways we can express ourselves. Also, Bioenergetics can help. Elliot sometimes talks about his religious beliefs more in recent years, but you can ignore the religious parts of it and look at the exercises at a face value perspective.