Lila9

I see. The thing is that revealing clothes can be practical as well. Saggy and modest clothes can be uncomfortable in sports and not as practical too especially in a hot climate. This can be the equivalent of men training without a shirt when there is warm weather.

Same 🙂

Yes, it can be conformity, self-objectification, and pornification in order to fit in. Both the niqab girls and the Western self-objectifying girl fall to the social pressure as women to cater to the male gaze and are centered around male desire rather than authentic self-expression or individuality. Yet, a woman can dress modestly or more revealing as part of her self-expression and individuality too. It is not always conformity. Revealing the body is not always about wanting to be a sexual object or be objectified (as the body is not merely sexual), and dressing modestly is not always about covering or hiding the body to avoid "tempting" men or to signal moral "purity".

Sportswear in general. The same goes for men. They are usually tight and revealing, especially in late-stage capitalism heavily influenced by Orange culture, which is all about image and body worship. Nudity is seen as purely sexual. At the same time, clothing is not an invitation for harassment and modest clothing don't necessarily prevent that. Nudity and the body are not merely about sex or sexuality. They can be neutral and functional, in the same way the “nakedness” of animals is. Breasts for example are first and foremost for feeding babies.

Same goes for germs, radio waves, atoms, and many other things.

I don't know about enlightenment and whether this is real. I know about awakening, as a lifetime gradual process. Yes, it's called shadow work

Next time you can choose to incarnate as a tree (or any plant) in a wild area that is difficult for anyone to reach and live peacefully for many years 🙂 Some trees are 100–200 years old. This is a nice break. But here, your soul chose to incarnate as a human on this specific planet and in this era (provided you had a choice). Do you have any idea why your soul would choose such a thing? Maybe your soul wanted some challenge or growth.

I would have probably done the same (getting attached to a poor dog and giving up on everything just to have it with me).

I see.

Yes, unfortunately it is not always easy or possible to detect pedophiles in schools. Though kids can be really clever and intuitive. I remember that when I was in primary school, I had a sports teacher whom we suspected to be a pedophile because of the way he touched us and hugged us too much, both girls and boys. He was a bit weird and did strange things, like giving us a ball to play with and then closing himself in a nearby room, for an unknown reason which we suspected had cameras. But even if kids are clever enough adults may not take them seriously. I remember that our suspicions came to the attention of our teachers, and they brushed it off maybe because the sports teacher was their friend and they liked him or because it is too uncomfortable to admit that one of the teachers may be a pedophile, as it can also impact the school’s reputation. Maybe he wasn't pedophile and it all was our imagination, I don't know. Maybe the best thing in those chaotic situations is to teach kids to have boundaries with strangers. I had a friend who taught her kids not to allow anyone, including someone in their family, to touch their body, not even for a kiss or a hug unless they receive permission from the child himself. And if someone touches them without their permission, they should report it to their mother or father. This may not resolve the chaotic environment, but at least it gives children some awareness and tools to protect themselves.

No 🙂 This is completely normal and healthy, and the advantages you described (like catharsis) are real and good for mental health. Also sharing online in a community of like-minded people (more or less, I guess) feels almost like talking to a real human, but without the risks of real-life consequences due to anonymity. I find your posts real and relatable. I don’t read many journals here lately but in the times I read yours it gives me a cozy feeling like reading a letter from a friend, reading the thoughts of a beloved character in a book, or reading an article from an author with a unique and distinguishable style that I admire. However, if you feel uncomfortable with an online journal this is valid as well. I had two journals here which I removed because I have the tendency to overshare (or at least to believe that I overshared) and regret it because I feel too exposed and vulnerable, as if I am naked. But on the other hand, I do crave people to see more vulnerable and exposed parts of me, because I do want to feel seen and express and share, so I'm torn between the two hahaha Anyway, your journal and the journals of others here gave me inspiration to create a new journal when I am more prepared.

I don't necessarily blame them. Blame is a difficult word. But I think that once men mature, they should be held accountable. Usually, the brain completes its development at 25. From 18 to 25, I agree that men are still too young and vulnerable, but they are not as clueless as children. In the past or in the Global South, people at that age got married and built families. People already have a driving license at those ages, they are handling guns, serving in the military, drinking alcohol, etc. Women are accountable to think critically too, have better standards, develop their intuition, and be more careful regarding men or even women who uphold the patriarchy and harm them (which is what feminists are trying to do), but there is only so much they can do without men taking accountability as well. I don't remember arguing that. However, I do think that for adult men, since they are no longer children, this becomes an active choice not to take accountability and to remain in this dark loop. I understand that it is very convenient to avoid accountability in this convenience culture, especially if it involves looking in the mirror and admitting that they were misled, misinformed, and caused real harm because of it. It is difficult to convince people that they were wrong, but without the courage and willingness to realize it and heal from it, nothing will change. We have reached a point where someone has to do it in order for things to move forward. Otherwise, men will keep complaining about loneliness and alienation from women and become more radical in their hatred, and women will keep complaining about mistreatment from men and become more radical in their hatred. This can last for decades or even centuries without anything being truly resolved or changed. Kindly note that the post I shared earlier is an article from someone else, not me. But I agree with its general idea of holding men more accountable. If there is anything specific in this article that you don't agree with or want to discuss, let me know. I see, but they also can't blame women for all their toxic behavior and keep spreading hatred, which results in real harm for women (and other men). This continue the cycle. They should know and understand that it has consequences. Again, men aged 18–25 are not fully mature and do not have the same critical thinking skills as fully grown adults, but they are not children either. If we can trust them with cars and guns, we can trust them with treating other fellow humans better. While we can't expect from them the same level of critical thinking we expect from adults, it doesn't mean that we should be okay with all their harmful biases going unquestioned.

You give me the vibe of @Keryo Koffa 🙂 Are they with us?

What is it?

I am already in love with life and existence. This is my very lover. I fell in love with the good and just forced to tolerate the bad, like in most relationships.

No, I am not "in love" with the darkest parts of reality. I just have no other option but to accept that they exist and to accept any feelings that arise from the pain that emerges from that, the melancholy, the sadness, the anger, the frustration without repressing it, escaping it, spiritually bypassing it, or overly intellectualizing it. And then to alchemize those feelings into doing better and flourishing, because this is the true meaning of alchemy. Transforming pain and darkness into prosperity, light, and healing. There is goodness, and therefore there is devilry. We live in a dual and finite world. While it is sometimes difficult to notice the exact moment or point at which good becomes evil or evil becomes good, as the borders are blurry, there is still Good and Bad. Such an interesting paradox.

Yes, I have seen this a lot. This is why men need to integrate some Yin to balance their Yang. Otherwise, they don’t feel whole and try to compensate by compulsively extracting Yin from women in unconscious ways. When men don’t integrate their Yin, the women around them feel very tired and sabotaged, as if their life energy were being sucked out of them.

This is an interesting talk. He went deep into evolution, history, psychology, and biology. I didn’t know that Neanderthals were peaceful and that only three animals experience menopause. There were some minor things that I wasn’t sure about, but I liked how he sees an egalitarian society with a diversity of personalities and people as an evolutionary advantage, compared to a patriarchal structure in which only a few at the top enforce sameness upon the rest. This point about diversity in personalities connects me to the different temperaments people naturally have, which can be mapped through the lens of extroversion vs. introversion, various MBTI types, Enneagram types, the Big Five, and more. This is not a mistake but the wisdom of nature by design. This is why even within the same family, siblings can have such different personalities, which represent different survival strategies. If one fails, there are many others to ensure that the species survives.

This is a beautiful post. I have learned that boredom is about experiencing nothingness. Nothingness is the fertile soil from which our imagination can go wild, from which great creative ideas are emerged.

Definitely. I feel nauseous because of it. Fuck them. My heart is open to abused children and victims of sick predators, but not to the predators' sick desires and weird fetishes. I probably will not be a Buddha in this incarnation, and I am okay with that.

Perhaps. I’ll watch those documentaries and reflect. Though I don’t expect myself to have extraordinary levels of compassion for their desires.

It sounds like an addiction. All the compulsion and sense of FOMO you describe. You can get free support for recovery through SAA. There are also Zoom meetings. https://saa-recovery.org/

I understand where you are trying to lead me through logic. I can understand the general urge to act on desire, any desire, but especially for murder or sexual abuse of minors, I don't have emotional empathy. I can't get there through logic or abstract intellectualization. I just don't feel empathy for those desires the same way I feel empathy for abused children, for example. I can distinguish when I feel empathy from my heart and when I don't feel it at all.

@Natasha Tori Maru ❤️🌹

Thank you for sharing your experience and bringing to my attention other aspects that you think I may have missed. My original response was to a user who portrayed the life of attractive women as caricaturally ideal and perfect. Such beliefs among men can fuel even more hatred, resentment, and lack of empathy towards women. My intention was to share my authentic life experience, to show that not everything is bright, and to offer my own feminist perspective, which adds nuance and diversity to this forum. Without it, it can become an echo chamber of male bias. I think it is important to bring diverse life experiences of women, which may contradict or challenge common beliefs and misunderstandings men have about our lives.