UpperMaster

Difference between really wanting something and wanting something Despite my ADHD. Last year I lost 10kg in a span of a month. Why? I wanted to lose weight for a girl. I had a crush on this specific girl. For me liking someone like that is actually quite rare. When do like someone, I really like them. This girl is probably the most desire I ever felt ngl. I mean I never wanted anything more ty shi. Low-key weird but whatever it's anonymous and it's the forum so idc. I wanted this girl so much, I was ready to fear monger myself into losing weight. I said to myself if I don't lose this wait, I can't get this girl. Even if logically me losing the weight wouldn't have a huge impact on my ability to get the girl, I genuinely believed it. It was crazy, I tracked my calories and lost the weight (I don't recommend this high level of weightloss, I stopped getting boners it was a real bummer dawg). Point is, I wanted something so bad, it didn't matter what the price to pay for it for is. Even if I have ADHD, if I want it enough, I would probably do the actions required to get it. The ADHD probably just makes the threshold higher (threshold for how much I want something before I actually do something about it.)

ADHD Cure -- My call with Forum member (also additionally some advice on dating) I am grateful for the members of this forum. Last week I had a three hour call with a forum member discussing a problem I was going through. I deeply suspect that I have a form of ADHD, as the experience that I share is very similar to the experience ADHDers complain about. I also started a thread in the forum because I was getting quite desperate. To gain more clarity around my situation I contacted a friend on this forum to help me out, as I felt as if my ADHD was effecting my life deeply and I didn't know what to do. The gist of my issue was the following: "I have all the symptoms of ADHD, I feel like I have ADHD, one of the only effective strategies I found to motivate myself is by fear mongering myself, and my life is not improving nearly as much as I want to I am literally failing a grade please help me. Should I go to psychiatrist, possibly get prescribed? Should I perform chelation?" Ok so the call was very good. To summarize we decided that going to the psychiatrist and getting prescribed is an option but should be considered only after trying to fix my problem on my own. He elaborated on the idea that small things could affect my productivity and focus quite a lot, and I should first focus on making sure that I am drinking enough water, eating enough calories etc. Then we talked about bigger changes that I could implement. Here's a list: Sleep well (White noise for tinnitus) (Magnesium supplements) Drink Enough Water Eat enough food It's completely normal to want to move every 30 minutes, sitting down and working for hours on end is not something our biology is not intended for. Exercise once per day Check for Allergies Maybe a form of multitasking could work me specifically Dopamine Detox Meditation Nootropics (specifically modafinil) Heavy Metals Chelation Breathing We talked in detail on each one of them. I already tried everything before the call except Nootropics, Heavy Metals and breathing exercises . I couldn't stick to dopamine detox or meditation consistently so that could be the fix to my issue aswell. He recomended me to do one thing at a time. He also told me that implementing something like dopamine detox should take several months, and effectiveness should be judged only after dopamine detoxing for several months. I really want to do dopamine detox but I don't even have the confidence to try because of the amount of time I tried and failed to abstain from consuming social media. Like I cant say it's ineffective because I never properly implemented it, but I cant seem to ever be able to properly implement it. After discussing this we touched on dating. I told him about some of my blackball beliefs and he asked me to completely turn off blackpill content. He told me that unless you look like a Gremlin, looks don't matter as much. He shared with me his experience doing PUA, he told me that his wing was a dark skinned 150 centimeter guy and that he used to pull way more than him. I was low-key shocked, and hope he was telling the truth. I have seen not conventionally attractive guys get laid in real life aswell. We'll see, I'll explore dating on my more too. I think this part of the convo was really cool.

Reminder to self - don't forget to write about living with open heart aswell. Edit: Nevermind

Topics I should cover for this journal (Note to self so I don't forget) 1. ADHD cure -- My call with forum member (also additionally some advice on dating) 2. Difference between really wanting something and wanting something

I dropped my next test because I couldn't be asked

@Thought Art that's absolutley sick!!!

time to move to midwest

@Realms of Wonder Thank you for sharing.

In the video "The Avoidance Of Truth - Why You Fear Truth", Leo says that if he was completely real with himself on how much work it would take for him to achieve success in many of the sub domains in life like dating or business, he wouldn't do it (because it is way more than expected). He then admits that lies, and not facing truth is useful for success, and in the beginning you must be over-optimistic. I'm so confused on where to draw the line between when it's okay to lie to yourself, how to do so correctly for the sake of progress? More and more I'm realising how different your mindset should be when beginning to self-actualising vs later on in your journey.

@Keryo Koffa Thank you for your well written response. I have neglected many actualized.org videos as I currently feel that Im not at that stage yet, I'll get there soon hopefully. Yea it's becoming increasingly clear to me, especially after reading your post that I should study how my ego justifies certain world views. I am currently getting into issues of paradigm lock because I am only now learning more about the world and different idealogies. Damn, paradigm lock..I'll watch this video soon.

So many things have happened recently, I will cover main lessons one by one after my exam. One thing I do want to write about today is how my initial vision for this journal is unrealistic. I thought that this journal could be a way to show my journey detailing all the ups and downs, and show myself and other people that this process is very human and messy. That its not a linear progression. I don't think I can do that anymore, because there are so many insights and lessons that I learn, it's very difficult to keep track real time. Another thing is that technically I've started this journey years ago, so this journal paints a false image of where I currently stand. That said, I will still write the way I did till now. Just jot down thoughts. But I do want to remind myself that there is way more going behind the scenes (for when I read the journal later).

What does that mean bro? Ego-defense mechanism paradigm lock

Fair guys, so most of you don't believe in lying to yourself in any circumstance

@Realms of Wonder yea so its like almost a way to see how much you want a thing or not

@mmKay thanks bud

@NoSelfSelf Is optimism lying to some extent. Like you are blocking out all negativity, even if its true no.

Today is my best friends, birthday. I wrote a letter for him and sent it at 12 am. He is a very good friend of mine, I hope is has a great year and life. I ordered a DNA test for him a few days ago as his birthday present. I remember not long before, we talked about DNA tests and I guaranteed to him that if he took it he would be at least 4 percent Afghani (he is Persian, and Persian people don't like Afghanis), and he was like hell naw. We bet 4k ahahahaha. So yea I'll be collecting money after he takes this test. I attached a map of Iran and Afghanistan, you'll see there in the same place so no way he doesnt have Afghani in him. Anyway so that and I watched half a video on why we avoid truth. It's very difficult for me to understand when Im avoiding truth or not, sometimes it's obvious but I want to get better at it. He says something very interesting though, that if he knew how much work it would take to get success in business or in dating, he wouldn't do the work. ahahaha. So he admits that he had to not face that truth, or lie to himself on what is required to get him started. For me thats fascinating. but I really want to know when to lie to yourself and when not to. Thats why I asked a forum question today. Other than that Il try to pass the next exam, either way I am failing the year but I only need to repeat the subjects I failed so if I pass the next exam it will be better. Anyway back to work I guess.

How many people in this forum question Leo? I want to be one of them. I don't want Dogma. I remember the first time I saw how delusional mass amount of people can be is when I read actualized.org haters, it's like they never even opened a fucking video to see the lessons and depth. They don't even do the basic research. If thats how the masses operate to find truth than I can't trust the masses, I have to find truth for myself.

I just realised I was going to adopt and force a full on blackpill ideology because it allowed me to live a certain way which seemed appealing, like a sort of fantasy. Trying to align with truth is so hard, it's like you sacrifice happiness for it. It's so hard to align with truth no matter the emotional cost. I want to know what's really going on in the world, not yet in the metaphysical (I will get there), but in normal human everyday life. Fuck it, I guess I just won't be happy then.

I took one of the exams today, I did so badly, its confirmed. I failed. Im failing the year. Fuck I got to repeat it. I don't know what to think about it honestly. I've been getting back into blackpill lately, I really don't like how I was avoiding it, I was scared of it being true, and I was using actualised.org as hope for it not to be true. I don't like how I was scared of truth and so was unable to properly explore this perspective. I think I'm slowly getting into it. This is my journey, I'll try to find truth, I'll explore different perspectives. Blackpill YouTubers do have some points. I really started to dislike false hope. Blackpill ideology is still an ideology however, I am aware of that. There are clear ideological aspects of blackpill, which I don't like. But I will try not to be afraid of adopting ideas from the blackpill if they have truth in them. Anyway yea so I pulled an all-nighter yesterday and I fucked up the test today, I can't sleep right now I'm pretty depressed. It is what it is.

Hey everyone, I’m really struggling and could use some advice or direction. For as long as I can remember, I've had a hard time focusing. In high school, it was a mess, I was struggling to get through. Now, in university, it’s still hard. I’ve tried so many things to be productive, like motivating myself with fear (which is super harsh on me), but nothing seems to stick long term. I’m constantly feeling like I’m trying so hard but getting nowhere, and it's really messing with my confidence. On top of that, I’m super impulsive. When I get angry, I sometimes break things, which just makes me feel even worse afterward. I know it’s not healthy, and I need to get this under control, but I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been thinking it might be ADHD, but I really don’t want to self-diagnose and end up relying on medication if that’s not the real issue. On the other hand, when a lot of ADHDers describe how they feel, it feels exactly the same. A battle uphill. It’s also crossed my mind that this could be something else entirely, like heavy metal poisoning or some other underlying cause. But how do I even know the difference, I can get tested but that takes money and time, so does getting professional help for ADHD. What should I start with? I’m looking for advice on how to find the right professional help or resources that could point me in the right direction. I need a real plan of action that works, not just more tips on organizing my life. How do I get proper professional help? Should I first check for heavy metals or go to a professional? How do I make sure im not mis-diagnosed? I don't want to take meds unnecessarily. What should I do in the mean time? Any useful websites or forums you know dedicated with ADHD? Please help, I would appreciate it.

@Leo Gura Awesome Im 19 and have it pretty much my whole life. When I was 16 it got pretty bad, then it got better. I went to doctor and everything, they didn't help it, I just got a hearing test and I was good but damn there really weren't any cure. If it's seriously a cure I would be amazed, I don't know how silence sounds. I was pretty desperate for cure or smth back then.

@Realms of Wonder Thats super awesome, some questions if you don't mind me asking: What would your current more mature self say to your 19 year old self? Also, how much of maturing process do you think just comes with age?

I'm panicking and procrastinating. I watched this video. Here he talks about how doubting yourself is normal, and having anxiety about whether you ahiceve the goal or not is completely normal.Even billionaires have this fear. He also explains also how riding highs and lows are important, but during the lows to have a list of successes you can remind yourself of. Sort of like David Goggin's cookie jar. Anyway, now Im going to embrace the anxiety I have and maybe that will be conducive to work.

Oh I do remember this one time I was super motivated ans basically lost 10 killos in 3 weeks, and thats when I liked this girl. I don't think I ever wanted something more in life ahahaha. Maybe I just don't want it enough and it's not ADHD. or maybe if you want something enough, it doesnt matter how much ADHD you have. But even then I mean, I wanted her so bad I basically fear mongered myself to work so...mhmmm idk