UpperMaster

@MarioGabrielJ I really hate this sort of response. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but your response isn't helpful for most people. At the start, before you have any experiences, the self absolutely exists; you are the center of your experience (that's where I am right now). In those early stages, you pretty much have no choice but to assume that the world around you and deterministic materialism are real. All this no-self stuff seems like spiritual mumbo jumbo to me—just a possibility until I experience it. Under the materialistic paradigm, there's absolutely no free will. Even from personal experience, thoughts just seem to appear out of nowhere. I think many spiritual teachers fail in guiding the learning process. It's not enough to just say there's a possibility to experience no-self, which changes the entire meaning of the question. It's more useful to help people integrate their current understanding into their lives so they can progress in the future. For two years, I struggled because I couldn't accept the idea of no free will. Now that I've accepted it, I'm more able to dive into understanding the self. The no-free-will existential crisis is terrible because it causes constant cognitive dissonance. You realize that whether you self-actualize or not isn't your choice, which really messed me up and made it hard to work productively for a long time. But now that I've accepted it as my current worldview, I'm open to new experiences. It's crucial to help people understand and accept their current truth. If they don't, they'll seek evidence to support their existing beliefs rather than searching for the truth without bias. Accepting no free will, if that's your current understanding, is essential. Only by accepting it can one remain open to truly exploring and discovering the truth.

ok, yea I'm maybe thinking of doing a trip or participating in a travel group.

Hey everyone, I need some advice on a personal challenge I've been facing. I have a tendency to impulsively overshare, often revealing things about myself (and sometimes others) that shouldn't be shared. This habit has landed me in trouble multiple times. Each time, I think the pain of the consequences would prevent me from making the same mistake again, but unfortunately, that's not the case. Recently, I found myself in a situation where, under the slightest pressure, I overshared again. It only hit me afterward how bad my decision was, and I'm at a loss on how to handle this issue effectively. Despite being aware of the problem and deciding not to overshare, I end up doing it anyway. This impulsive behavior not only affects me but also endangers others involved. I thought I had fixed it, but clearly, I haven't. I'm looking for any advice or strategies that could help me tackle this problem from different angles because mere awareness doesn't seem to be enough. I have a feeling that I trust people too easily. I think maybe that is the root cause. or that also I realise that I like the attention that this specific incident that I overshare about gets me. Has anyone else faced a similar issue? How did you manage to overcome it? Any tips or techniques to curb this impulsive behavior would be greatly appreciated.

This video was promised after the how to get laid guide. I'm super interested in Leo's take on this topic, and his personal anecdotal experiences. David Deida has written a lot about it, would love to see if some of these concepts has worked with other people.

This is so true. I reflected on your message. I think the emotion I feel is also more that the person won't like me from telling them the truth + guilt and regret. I've taken a personality test and have scored 95th percentile in Neuroticism, so yea I do have OCD tendencies. I'm not industrious at all though so not a perfectionist. I am interested in learning more and will PM you.

This sums up my problem. As I am thinking more about it, I think it's defenitly possible that people pleasing is also a possible root cause. I fold under pressure because maybe I feel as though me telling them a truth about a situation makes them like me more. I think this issue might be so deep that I am willing to endanger other peoples privacy to satisfy this need. I am hypothesising here but it's possible.

I am trying journaling aswell, as of now I am doing Jordan Peterson's self authoring program. I think I'll be able to find and understand the problem in greater depth once I analyse my past and myself. I will try to find a solution to the problem for sure.

I really want to give people context but I can't repeat the mistake again ahahaha

I think it's the fact that there is a shock factor in the story. It's spicy asf.

I've been thinking about it a lot. There's defenitly several underlying issues here. I think also a huge problem for me now is trusting myself. The problem I face basically is parrelel to someone saying " I cheated on my partner several times, I made the commitment not to do it again but did it anyway" and now obviously I stop having the capability of trusting my self. Cheating was not the situation at hand here, but now I do somewhat understand people who have a problem cheating in the sense that for some reason it's very hard for them not to fold under pressure. There has to be an underlying reason, some root issue that can be fixed. I'm doing all I can to fix this. I can't let this happen. I have to get this under control. Maybe I have to fix the root cause of thrill seeking and giving into temptation.

I rather not go into specifics, it's not a traumatic event. It's a social taboo.

David Deida teaches that purpose is inherent within us, while Leo, as I understand it, teaches that purpose should be consciously and strategically constructed. I’m struggling to determine if one method is better than the other and would love to hear from anyone who has experience with the benefits of each approach. Here’s a summary of my understanding of both methods: David Deida: Purpose is not something you either have or lack; it’s something you either acknowledge or ignore. To discover deep purpose, you need to sit quietly and enter a state of deep not-knowing until a purpose reveals itself. This might take weeks. Initially, you may feel the urge to pee—that's your purpose then. Once you’re done, you return to your state. Avoid entertaining any thoughts or distractions, as these are seen as forms of the changing or feminine. When you realize your purpose, allow yourself to be fully driven by it until you no longer are. There’s a distinction between pretending to be in a state of not-knowing while chasing attractive mind distractions like partying, and genuinely committing to a state of not-knowing until purpose arises. “Finding your purpose is fully sinking into the present moment and letting reality manifest through you as a gift to all.” More details: https://deida.info/2016/02/14/deep-purpose/ Leo’s Life Purpose: Purpose should be carefully constructed based on value assessments, personality tests, and deep introspection. It is not inherent but rather created. More practical, discusses concepts such as 10,000 hour rule, and addresses ways to actually motivate yourself. Overall seems more holistic and practical. Does not treat purpose as inherent to man, but rather something you should construct. Is purpose inherent to individuals or should it be created?

Deida says this: You are your mission, and if you don’t know it, you are not relaxed in the moment. So you don’t have to find your mission, you need to relax in the moment to discover it. It is being shown to you right now. You are being lived by a force deeper than you. Masculine practice is intuitively feeling and identifying with that force so that when you wake up in the morning, you are lived by your mission. If you don’t know what that is, it is because you are thinking. Your mind will never know your mission. You will never feel your mission if you are attending to your thoughts hoping to see what your mission is in the future. So to answer your question, purpose is always there you just have to realise it. Not my words.

Yea but it sounds way cooler if it just comes to you. Like oh idk what my purpose is let me just sit down in my room for 3 weeks in solitude. Boom, you know your purpose. But it seems like Leo talks about this aswell, its just that in David Deida's model, the outer layers of purpose or initial purposes are gonna be materialistic fear driver crap, Leo teaches this as burning karma so I guess both teachings overlap

@Wisebaxter Whats the significance of this? From my understanding it just says: Action must be part a series of actions that lead to goal Action must respond to your environment Actions have to relevant and not random I don't understand the last part Could you explain this further please, I don't seem to grasp it.

Nah bro I think most woman are self critical asf. Also they can't afford rejection. For woman rejection is fucked. For men its really bad but for woman it hurts them even more I think

ok I'll forget about it until I do

yea man life is so uncertain, you don't know if something is good or not

Did your rate of failure decrease after your first lay?

screenshotting this.

Yea I saw this video. Crazy because messages like this I feel like I won't even understand fully until I get the material things that aren't worth while.

I have to try, I don't think I can live life knowing I didn't do it.

Yea see that's one thing I was wondering. Like you said you had to do 400 approaches before getting a single lay with a girl. How do you even do that without losing hope? How do you have faith that it will eventually work out? When should you know when something isn't working? Like I definitely see most people quitting and saying it doesn't work before 200 approaches let alone 400. But that's like not even a bad effort, I would they know that they need 200 more approaches. And by the way, that's the only thing that's giving me hope right now. Like the fact that all the blackpiller may have spent 1000 of hours reading game and probably did 100 approaches, but I don't think they did 400 or 1000.

@Leo Gura The first video I saw of you was in the 7th Grade, when I got into self development. From around that time I believed that I could Get very pretty woman that I am attracted to Become a successful musician Build a life for myself that other people can dream possible. Live life with 100 percent passion. To honour life. I believed I could achieve all of this provided I worked hard and got rid of limited beliefs. That the only thing in my way is myself. Fast forward to now, I'm starting to believe that Woman mainly care about looks the most. The chances of being a successful musician is incredibly rare, most people who try fail. Life is nothing but a game of luck. People born in war-torn countries are fucked. People that have disfigured faces can't get woman. If you're blessed with normal genetics, there's an automatic cap on what you can achieve. If you're a normal guy, maybe you should be realistic, try to do the best of what you got, but don't expect that you can achieve what you truly want. (I really hate having to think like this, I grew up with self help content and was always filled with hope, this type of thinking is painful for me, but then again I really don't want to brainwash myself) There's no free will, so self actualising as a whole seems pointless. Yes Leo, I watched all your free-will videos. I've asked you about this 2 years ago, and you told me that the real question in Do "you" have free will is what the meaning of "you" is. But you must understand that I have not experienced what you've experienced, I have to go on my own personal experience, and right now all I see is material determinism. So yes, I don't believe in free will, because I don't understand your vantage point. I just see evidence that all our actions, desires and capabilities are manifested because of our genes. This viewpoint has been parroted by Sam Harris, Robert Sapolsky and now much of the blackpill community. I hate having victim mindset, but it seems to me that we are victims of life. It's somewhat problematic for me because I intuit that I am stuck between two levels of development. I intuit that my understanding of the nature of self is very primitive and that I must temporarily let go of all the pessimism and the idea of no free will in order to develop. But by doing so I feel like Im gaslighting myself again. Maybe I need permission to do so. I believed I could really do big big shit in my life, like I could work 20-30 years with a company and make a 100 million dollars. Now I'm like, maybe I should be realistic.

Yea and one more thing, like this whole blackpill thing makes sense in the Darwinian sense.