UpperMaster

I feel like giving up, but when I do give up momentarily it just sucks even more so than I keep fighting. But it sucks.

The fact rhat we put our selfs on the moon is crazy. The face that we created smartphones and computers is crazy. Beyond crazy. We as humans have done the inpossible several times, why can’t I? Maybe I should adopt the belief that if I do the work required anything is possible.

Friend that helps me study told me that I don’t succeed because I don’t try and give up too easily, and that I should learn to trust myself. I give up without trying but after trying I understand. maybe In just not believing in myself

Starting to hate blackpill. Looks do matter, looks can make a huge huge huge difference. People who have great looks have an easier time getting woman, but I strongly believe that blackpill is missing a huge part of truth because I know a guy in real life that blackpillers would disregard as someone who is too ugly for dating but has a hot girlfriend. I don’t know how it happens, but it does.

I think I should focus more on marginal improvements.

I don't know if il ever be enough, I wish the internet never existed, I wish social media never existed.

bro landed safely w that one I cant lie

You don’t need to deserve success. You can be an asshole and be successful. Success is achieved solely on doing the actions required to attain it.

I realise that the main reason I do everything is because of woman. Woman are my main distraction I guess. It’s becoming such a big thing in my head that I feel like it’s blocking me from maturing. If I keep staying at this stage of being desperate for woman. It will not good. I am thinking of dedicating my life to getting woman. I need money for that so working and getting some money maybe through a business is neccecary. I just realise how it completely messes up every experience that I have. I don’t seem to enjoy anything because I want to be with a girl I find attractive. It’s always in the corner of my head. I’ll contemplate further and further and see if it’s a decision I should commit to.

Ok super important notes I want to make today. I now understand that you have to bring value into a relationship. You can’t get a girl and bring no value. The reason I understand this deeply more now is because I experienced today how it felt like when a girl likes you but you don’t like her back. I now empathize more with woman who don’t find some men attractive and reject them. When you’re not attracted to someone, accepting your advances is somewhat cruel to you. today I went out with my friends, among which was this girl who is really nice, but I didn’t find attractive. I really think she was interested in me. The reason why is because she complemented how I looked many times, my new haircut my fashion. Touched me more, or tried to touch me more, and also looked at me with that “I want to fuck” look. I might be delusional but even if I am, I finally understood to some extent at least how it feels to not be attracted to someone that likes you. this specifically opened my eyes to how relationships are transactional and that you can’t expect someone to like you if you don’t fulfill your side of the transaction aka you being attractive. it made me realise how I should become more attractive to woman, and I should think less of just myself see how I provide for them. Because I would also reject some woman or not sleep with them if they don’t meet a standard.

I just read the post I wrote about self doubt and now I’m a bit calmer

There are many nights where I can’t sleep because it’s like I ain’t as successful as I want to be. Right now I’m tripping aswell. It’s 2 in the morning. I’m tripping. I haven’t fucked yet, I haven’t made any money I need to ASAP. I soo want it please wtf. How is can ny dad earn 6+ figures but I’m a piece of shit useless. I gotta boss tf up.

I was scrolling through instagram and I came across a short video showcasing a podcast where the host asks many different girls which man she would chose. He shows two pictures, one of a model Chico Lachowski and the other of a Puerto Rican actor Luis Guzmán (I've uploaded the photos here). A lot of the woman in the podcast chose Luis Guzman OVER Chico Lachowski even though Chico looks better conventionally. They justified their choice by saying things like "he looks like a boy, I want a man" or "he looks like a ladyboy", or "I've dated guys that looked like number two before, and I much prefer the dad bod" When the woman said this, the podcast host called on there bullshit, saying that their lying for chosing Luis Guzman over Chico as Chico is obviously way better looking. He kind of alludes to the idea that the woman were chosing Luis Guzman to potray themselves as less shallow. The comments on the video were supporting the idea that the woman are lying. That they would never chose anyone like Luis. That there is a huge discrepancy between their actions in real life and who they chose during a podcast interview. because who the fuck would not chose Chico, he is super handsome, where as Luis is old and isn't as conventionally attractive. It even made sense to me, that these woman were bullshiting, and that when shit comes to shove, they would pick the more conventionally attractive looking guy, But then I caught myself, and possibly entertained the idea that this was simply dogma. I want to know if it is dogma or not. So my question to you is, Do You think these woman are lying, or are they telling the truth. Do they actually prefer how Luis looks? Are looks objective, or is that dogma? (apparently there is research backing up the objectivity of looks, but I can definitely entertain the possibility that modern Beauty standards specifically in the blackpill and incel community is too harsh and contains dogma) (I Don't know if that's true, maybe the podcaster is completely right, that's why I am making this post) Note: The woman clearly didn't know the two men (I am pretty sure, it seems like), so they were only judging looks. I saw the video on instagram and forgot to save it, but I found the same upload on TikTok for which I will post here: https://www.tiktok.com/@whateverpod/video/7394521688366501162 The comments on TikTok, is much less incel audience and they are more mixed, however the same sort of comments (the comments supporting the podcaster) can be found, Il upload some. Thanks for reading, looking forward for what y'all sayin

woah what the flip

@hyruga the audio-tapes go more indepth but still like the basic terms have to be explained more I feel

I've read it so many times, but there are still a lot of things I don't get. It really frustrates me when people in the mainstream talk about concepts from the book without having any idea what they're actually talking about. One example is the idea of finding your purpose. The way he explains it is by saying you should "relax into your consciousness" and live from there, finding your purpose that way. He says you don’t find your purpose from your thoughts because they’re always changing and come from the feminine. I kind of get what he’s saying—he’s clearly talking about something we can all relate to—but I still don’t fully understand what he means by "relax into your masculine" or "relax into your unchanging consciousness" to find your purpose. Leo's approach to finding purpose heavily includes thought process, and it makes sense to plan out your life carefully. But Deida is talking about something completely different that I just don't get. He says we shouldn't get distracted by the feminine, which includes thoughts and anything that changes, while the masculine is consciousness. Like, okay cool thanks. Here's what he says about, please read it, and if you understand someone please explain it to me: https://deida.info/2016/02/14/deep-purpose/

Intellectual integrous individual (my understanding): Individuals that have minimal biases, hypocrisy, ideology in their ideas and work. People who actually value truth rather than just want to be right. I'm confused about whether I should consider viewpoints from people with low intellectual integrity. I read that Leo completely discards viewpoints from creators or authors who lack intellectual integrity. But at the same time, in his advice for young people video, he encourages taking in different perspectives. How can I embrace different perspectives when many come from individuals with low intellectual identity? It also seems to me that very few people are fully intellectually honest, as they might be unknowingly influenced by ideology in subtle ways (examples being Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson). What is the minimum standard of intellectual integrity I should look for when deciding whether to listen to someone and take in their perspectives? I have recently become more aware on how the media that I consume affects my daily life and decisions, I want to completely eliminate perspectives that hurt me (like blackpill) while also maintaining a healthy variety of perspectives for my growth.

I suspect that there are serious limitations with the advice "think for yourself, don't take anything as dogma". In my life currently, I feel as though I know too little to make any conclusions with any major degree of certainty, and surrendering to "not knowing" is not practical and makes it difficult to move forward. In addition to that, especially in the beginning (when focused on surviving), since you don't know anything about the world, the conclusions you form seem to heavily be affected by your emotions namely fear (personally happening to me) (which ironically leads you to become ideological). Another thing worth mentioning is that people that are less intelligent "think badly" and end up with poor conclusions, and so it is wise for them align themselves with semi conservative crowd as suggested my Jordan Peterson (I think this isn't bad advice). I'm very inclined to purposefully put faith into teachings from people who I intuit are good, so that I can actually move on in my life. I don't like being stuck and confused, I don't want to continue struggling to make decisions. My life recently has shown me that questioning everything and being anti-dogma is very difficult when your trying to survive and succeed, it's seems most appropriate to search for truth after you have some success surviving. What do you guys think? Is my thinking correct? Add more important thoughts? I appreciate it.

In order to become a mature person, I have to go through these experiences

Full disclosure my previous post was because I have very little belief in myself because of blackpill ideology, and I feel as if the only way to get me working is by making it acceptable for me to work even if I fail. Idk how to get out of thus. Logically why I don't believe in myself doesn't make sense but I feel like this regardless. I guess I am starting to realize that I cant fake maturity, that I have to go through this process of self-doubt. I have to experience life more. I have to allow myself to experience life more rather than just be stuck up with getting things right.

@ChrisZoZo I know I shoudln't be as neurotic but it's hard not to when my survival is at stake.

I agree with you, but it’s also important to consider that the other sources you check might share the same biases as the original one. Even when you search for different perspectives, the answers might still be similar because they come from the same cultural or ideological background, carrying the same biases. I think you're right. It's probably important to explore sources from different fields or cultures. For example, two psychologists might have similar opinions on solving a problem, but a psychologist and a successful entrepreneur could have radically different views because they come from different experiences and backgrounds. It’s not the best example, but you get the idea.

@Leo Gura Can't wait for the video. I just read your blog post about social systems. Very interested on the insights you have on how to study ideology and social systems in the best way. I have personal experienced difficulties you describe in the blog when watching blackpill content. It's like you don't truly understand what they are saying until you immerse yourself in the content itself. But at that point, you can see yourself starting to actively defend blackpill worldview, even if that's at the expense of your development. Also, fascism and racism is somewhat on the rise in Europe, one of my best friends, as great as he is, is very ideological and is incredibly anti-migrant. I can see how belief systems like Fascism have spread, I even know because I am in so close proximity to him, how it feels to be very racist. It's the exact same thing. It feels as thought you can only truly understand fascism and racism as an ideology at the expense of becoming ideological.

This. Sooo hard to do. Great reply, I can defenitly relate.

That’s so true! I totally get what Leo is saying. I remember watching blackpill ideology, and it felt really strange. I kept feeling like I was avoiding it, but at the same time, I knew that the more I exposed myself to it and tried to understand it, the more I risked becoming indoctrinated.