UpperMaster

I am ahahahahaha

@integral wow this was a great response. Matter of fact I was recognizing that every time I took drastic action I basically was obsessed by the goal. Whether it was understanding a existential topic or getting some girl ahaha. im just unsure of whether you can self-deceive yourself into doing this. If so how, how to do it without it seeming like your gaslighting yourself.

@Ishanga i understnd

@Buck Edwards honestly I know this sounds weird but I usually get distracted by philosophy abs self-development. like as a deadline is approaching I somehow convince my self that a certain existential matter is more important than the exam. So il be studying, 2 min later I have a certain question that I need answering and go down a rabithole.

@Ishanga Ok I understand what you mean, thanks for claryifying. Il be honest I want tangible results in life. I can see how Isha Kriya or many other practices can help me be happy right now, and thereby extinguish the need to do anything else (at least on a smaller scale). But I seriously doubt that it excuses me from other self-development work and working on the main goals I outlined. Maybe I am wrong. Thanks anyway.

I don't mean to sound mad gay, but I give a fuck about girly shit like "story" and "plot". I want a relationship that that's risky but extremely fun. It's not just the relationship between me and the girl, the context from which the relationship forms is super important: her family, her friends, my friends, the city, it should all be fun and interconnected. taboo makes it fun too. going against norms together. tinder super bores me, I want so fun story shit.

Can you please give an example of how you do this. I've tried I think this concept several times before that's why I am asking. This sounds like the similar thing described in atomic habits where you have to make an identity level change. I am familiar with this because I contemplated and tried this so many times before. For me when I try this, it sticks for a bit but then reality hits and makes you realize that you aren't as good as you believe. Take pickup, can you BE, DO, HAVE with pickup? To me it makes sense that you can't just BE good with woman. I've tried this maybe hundreds of times. Maybe I am implementing this wrong that's why I asked how you do it. I don't mean this in an offensive manner. Thanks for the reply.

@Hojo I swear my best friend became a bitch attracter as soon as he started succeeding in life, built self-confidence and as a result stopped with the neediness. My man was already super funny before. But that switch changed the game for him

accomplish main goals

Got out of a messy a super unfulfilling relationship which broke my confidence. I fucked up on tests, social situations etc destroyed my self-confidence. Therapy is the biggest step I've taken this year. Writing an actualized journal consistently is also a huge step ive taken this year. I also contacted people on the forum and asked for help. I am taking action. Developing my humor is the area I made the most progress in my life. I failed 1000 times, but now I funny on a consistent basis and have good social skills. Looking back I am so happy I kept trying to land horrible jokes, because it has payed off. This was a multi year process, but going into uni I had so much more opportunity this year

@LordFall I took Big 5 personality test. Haven't done Myers Briggs so I am not sure what my MBTI is. Where did you do yours, can I do it online? My main goals are very straightforward 1. Pass all my exams in uni 2. Learn the local language where I currently live to complete fluency 3. Get a job, so I can buy the Life Purpose course and actually find my life purpose. finding life purpose is a super high priority goal. Passing uni and learning local language has to do with survival and is a non-negotiable. I also have a lot of emotional baggage and issues that I am working with my therapist, I have lower self-confidence and that's stunting I feel my ability to take major risks in life although I want to. Going to therapy is one of the most important things I am doing right now aswell. Other goals (very important to me, but not my main goals) 1. Exercise daily 2. Continue Improving my humor 3. become proficient with woman 4. be a better older brother 5. Job experience, maybe management consulting I have no time to address any of the "other goals" because I am failing my exams, I have a language exam to study for and no matter what I do cant exceed 2 hours of study daily except if I am near a deadline. I started studying for this math test 3 weeks in advance and made little progress. I make the intention to be productive daily as evident in my journal, you see how frustrating it is? You try to work hard, but you can't. People surpass you. Worst of all I know deep inside that if I could just work, harder, longer with focus and consistency, I am capable enough to do something big. It's so frustrating.

I keep failing on a daily basis, few days ago I set a habit tracker, couldn't stick with it. I am not able to abstain from certain foods like I want to. I am not working as hard as I want to. I still procrastinate a lot. I'm starting to wonder whether or not this much amount of failure is normal. Everyday I fail, and so I never seem to progress as fast as I want to. this is seriously killing me, I don't want to go to chatgpt for motivation I feel resistance to it now. Fuck man maybe I should still strive to stay positive. I've documented a lot of my dat to day failures. Everyday is a new gimmick for productivity but I cant seem to pull it off.

seriouasly? daaamn

I went to therapy today. One thing I asked her about it responsibility and victim labeling. She made me realize that things that happened to me when I was younger was something I couldn't possibly deal with at the time, I was too young, I was a victim. Labelling yourself as such is important to close the chapter and not blaming yourself. I asked her, when exactly should you label yourself as a victim and when should you take responsibility. She said that it's different, case by case, but the main differentiator is "resources". "Resources" refer to coping mechanisms or the ability to deal with situations effectively. When you're young and subjected to bullying or manipulation, you don't have the maturity, mental development, know how to deal with it and resist the manipulation (you don't have the resources). When you're older you do have the resources. You know that associating with a narcissistic person is a recipe for pain and disaster. So instead of labelling yourself as a victim you should hold your self responsible and willingly take that responsibility. This is kind of different from how Leo suggests. He suggests radical taking of responsibility, which in my opinion is impractical in some scenarios because it is very hard to do that without unnecessarily blaming yourself. Of-course all of this is very case by case.

@OmniNaut Thank you very much for this thorough and extensive advice. I read it, and will likely read it several more times + research to truly get the value from this post. I am so happy for this response. Thanks man. I will consider all your advice.

Hey guys, is anyone here a management consultant or used to be one? I am very curious and want to understand more about this line of work. If so please let me know, I'd love to get in touch and ask questions. Cheers.

@OmniNaut forgot to tag

@OmniNaut Hey, thanks a lot for your response! I’m currently pursuing an undergraduate in business and economic, and there’s a chance I might have opportunities to work with companies like EY or PwC since they recruit heavily from my university. I’m really curious about many aspects of the job, especially given your diverse experience. Im interested in management consulting rather than auditing and accounting because numbers are not my strong suit ahaha. Some questions I have are: Are management consultants usually specialized in one field? I started reading a book about McKinsey, and it gave the impression that management consultants work on projects across many different industries. However, when I look at EY’s or McKinsey’s websites, they highlight the specific industries they operate in. So, I’m wondering if consultants usually end up specializing in one industry, or do they move across various fields over their careers. Do you think its better to learn skills and gain experience in a big company like EY or a smaller company? What should someone like me focus on during their undergraduate studies to prepare for consulting? (e.g., technical skills, business knowledge, soft skills, how much math is required?) From your interactions with management consultants, what are the most common mistakes new consultants make? How compatible do you think is management consulting with this self development work? I know this is a handful but I am very curious to what you think. If you have time I would love if we could speak on the verbally over a call, there's plenty l am curious about (no pressure). I wish you a merry Christmas, thanks for responding I really appreciate it.

I feel like I am fighting hard for nothing. I feel like I don't have control in the end of the day. I feel like I am coping with the fact that I have very little control on how my life will turn out.

@Leo Gura ok fair

Im starting to realise that I am not working hard at all. I haven’t even tried hard enough. I’m currently looking into management consulting I am seeing how hard they push you in some careers. If you don’t work, you will be forced to eventually. also I realise that once the expectation/standard is set, it’s easier to work much harder. I have to find a way to set the standard.

Didn't you mention in your 1st video on how to get laid that you know guys that pull every other day

this is so crazy

I watched this video. It's interesting because whenever this video came up I always shoved it aside. I knew that, I do a lot of people pleasing, but who doesn't right? Another reason for shoving this video aside is because I think a few years ago when I started getting into self-development, it was a huge issue of mine. I suspect I tackled it by acting like I didn't care and other shallow solutions. I never solved this issue, but I completely forgot about it so maybe I assumed I was over my people pleasing problem. Now I realize that it's one of my biggest sources of unhappiness. I thought the reason I am unhappy is because of how "unsuccessful" I am, but after watching this video I realize that its more of the fact that other people around me like my parents don't SEE me as successful. I think this is the case. Also more evidence for this is my obsession with competition and being better than other people. It's more for the validation of other people. I realise, especially the last year, that I don't do any activity where I can't prove I am better than anyone. Except philosophy I stopped doing things for its own sake, rather to show off to others. Even philosophy has now become something that I sell to people so that they like me. Super essential video. Reminded me of one of my biggest problems. Highly recommend.

I gave in