UpperMaster

I just cried my eyes out. Realising that I am not living the life I want to live. If I lived on my own I wouldn’t do half the things J am doing. I would do everything differently. i need independence.im not living my life i hste my life. I realised that no matter how successful I am I won’t be happy like this. It’s not success it’s what I’m doing the way I’m doing it

This year I want to live life on my own terms.

Happy new yearrrr

I wanna have twelve kids. Name 11 of them Leo, name the 12th Theo.

aint it everywhere? Where has it actually turned new year

I didn’t work at all today. Very minimal language work, that’s it. The reason for this is yesterday night I entertained a series of thoughts that spiked my cortisol. I was basically went in to fight or flight and couldn’t sleep. I was imagining a debate about something sensitive and it got heated. couldn’t sleep after that. Subpar sleep, ny head hurt. I basically wasted the day. From now I plan to wake up at 5:45 study from 6-12. Then study from 1-7 12 hours a day. and I won’t get distracted by thoughts.

I have both my parents, both my grandparents still. I must be grateful.

I worked 5 hours today. I worked till my mind is so foggy I can’t think . I feel great. I am finally putting in the work, I feel great.

Who even is this guy, does he have history on this forum or community? Im so confused.

I worked 6 hours today. Most productive day so far. I mean, I was focused the entire time.

Having Children mature you significantly. I don't have experience yet, but I've talked to my parents and they've agreed. Because for the first time you have someone that's more important than you are. I think being more mature will definitely help in recovering the planet. You may not give a fuck about pesticides in your food, or climate change. But having a kid could lead you to fight for future generations. I'm just spewing heresay but it makes complete sense.

I didn't do too much cold approach or get much success yet. Mostly because I don't live in a huge city, but I am planning to improve my cold approach skills significantly. That is going to be a priority in my life at some point. I want to meet a good woman spontaneously like that.

@Flowerfaeiry Hey thanks. Biggest reason I created this post is because I was confused on how to feel about my progress. Your response game me more of a relief. Yes I am itching to reach my goals, and you put it very well, change is very very previous. Thank you for the response

Hey everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty frustrated with the lack of results in my life. My results making skills, and ability to "brute force" the work is very poor, and I am constantly trying for years to improve it. I’m not sure if I’m just overthinking or genuinely doing something wrong, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Over the past few months, I’ve been documenting my journey in the actualized journals. I’ve tried various productivity tactics, but I keep finding it hard to do the work consistently, even for things I enjoy. Focusing and staying on task long enough to get significant work done feels almost impossible. This has been a recurring challenge for a couple of years now. The journal has been helpful for spotting patterns in my thoughts and habits, but I still haven’t cracked the code on making real, lasting change. I’ve talked to some of you here before about my struggles with staying productive, even considered ADHD might be a factor. Your advice has been incredibly helpful, and I’m grateful for it. Still, I’m really ambitious, and working just 2 hours a day isn’t enough to match my goals. Honestly, it feels like I can’t even meet basic expectations like school with that level of effort. Recently, I started seeing a therapist to work through some of these challenges, including underlying trauma. It’s been a positive step, but there’s a lot to unpack, and progress feels slow. So, here’s where I’m stuck: Are these struggles normal? Is it typical to fall short of your productivity goals everyday for a long time, even when you’re trying to improve? Should I just trust the process? Or am I doing something fundamentally wrong? (everyday just seems like a new gimmick I am trying to be productive, and of course nothing is sustainable) I can see that I’ve made progress, I’m definitely better off than I was two years ago but the pace is agonizingly slow, and it’s tough to reconcile that with my ambitions. Also, I failed the year, everyone my age that's around me have no trouble doing the work. I'm not gonna play the victim here, but I want to know what to do. I know sitting at a desk for 6+ hours a day isn’t realistic for everyone, but my goals demand a lot, and I don’t know if I’m approaching this the right way. Any advice or perspective would mean a lot. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I am ahahahahaha

@integral wow this was a great response. Matter of fact I was recognizing that every time I took drastic action I basically was obsessed by the goal. Whether it was understanding a existential topic or getting some girl ahaha. im just unsure of whether you can self-deceive yourself into doing this. If so how, how to do it without it seeming like your gaslighting yourself.

@Ishanga i understnd

@Buck Edwards honestly I know this sounds weird but I usually get distracted by philosophy abs self-development. like as a deadline is approaching I somehow convince my self that a certain existential matter is more important than the exam. So il be studying, 2 min later I have a certain question that I need answering and go down a rabithole.

@Ishanga Ok I understand what you mean, thanks for claryifying. Il be honest I want tangible results in life. I can see how Isha Kriya or many other practices can help me be happy right now, and thereby extinguish the need to do anything else (at least on a smaller scale). But I seriously doubt that it excuses me from other self-development work and working on the main goals I outlined. Maybe I am wrong. Thanks anyway.

I don't mean to sound mad gay, but I give a fuck about girly shit like "story" and "plot". I want a relationship that that's risky but extremely fun. It's not just the relationship between me and the girl, the context from which the relationship forms is super important: her family, her friends, my friends, the city, it should all be fun and interconnected. taboo makes it fun too. going against norms together. tinder super bores me, I want so fun story shit.

Can you please give an example of how you do this. I've tried I think this concept several times before that's why I am asking. This sounds like the similar thing described in atomic habits where you have to make an identity level change. I am familiar with this because I contemplated and tried this so many times before. For me when I try this, it sticks for a bit but then reality hits and makes you realize that you aren't as good as you believe. Take pickup, can you BE, DO, HAVE with pickup? To me it makes sense that you can't just BE good with woman. I've tried this maybe hundreds of times. Maybe I am implementing this wrong that's why I asked how you do it. I don't mean this in an offensive manner. Thanks for the reply.

@Hojo I swear my best friend became a bitch attracter as soon as he started succeeding in life, built self-confidence and as a result stopped with the neediness. My man was already super funny before. But that switch changed the game for him

accomplish main goals

Got out of a messy a super unfulfilling relationship which broke my confidence. I fucked up on tests, social situations etc destroyed my self-confidence. Therapy is the biggest step I've taken this year. Writing an actualized journal consistently is also a huge step ive taken this year. I also contacted people on the forum and asked for help. I am taking action. Developing my humor is the area I made the most progress in my life. I failed 1000 times, but now I funny on a consistent basis and have good social skills. Looking back I am so happy I kept trying to land horrible jokes, because it has payed off. This was a multi year process, but going into uni I had so much more opportunity this year

@LordFall I took Big 5 personality test. Haven't done Myers Briggs so I am not sure what my MBTI is. Where did you do yours, can I do it online? My main goals are very straightforward 1. Pass all my exams in uni 2. Learn the local language where I currently live to complete fluency 3. Get a job, so I can buy the Life Purpose course and actually find my life purpose. finding life purpose is a super high priority goal. Passing uni and learning local language has to do with survival and is a non-negotiable. I also have a lot of emotional baggage and issues that I am working with my therapist, I have lower self-confidence and that's stunting I feel my ability to take major risks in life although I want to. Going to therapy is one of the most important things I am doing right now aswell. Other goals (very important to me, but not my main goals) 1. Exercise daily 2. Continue Improving my humor 3. become proficient with woman 4. be a better older brother 5. Job experience, maybe management consulting I have no time to address any of the "other goals" because I am failing my exams, I have a language exam to study for and no matter what I do cant exceed 2 hours of study daily except if I am near a deadline. I started studying for this math test 3 weeks in advance and made little progress. I make the intention to be productive daily as evident in my journal, you see how frustrating it is? You try to work hard, but you can't. People surpass you. Worst of all I know deep inside that if I could just work, harder, longer with focus and consistency, I am capable enough to do something big. It's so frustrating.