Devin

Many women don't mind too much that their man watches porn I think if the woman was far enough along it wouldn't bother her, she seems in the middle of this and the former and likely won't get to a point where she wouldn't get bothered by it, he will probably out grow this though. I'm sure many men especially on here wouldn't want to be with a woman that watches porn though. I don't think it has to do with sexism. I'm monogamous but I actually wouldn't be hurt if I was cheated on either, so I don't think I'm a good litmus test. I love the idea of growing with someone through those relatively difficult things, most people have too much ego to deal with that much though.

Tolle too, says something like just observe them and let them pass they're not you. You should care in a way though, not letting them be used to make decisions though, they're usually something unprocessed in your subconscious mind poking out. Ignoring them sounds like resistance to me, the opposite of what Leo said

I'm similar, I always felt worse following emotions or "pleasure". I follow my intuition but not my emotions, I do listen to them though, they are just indicators of something I need to process though not something to act upon. Following intuition and rationale is what keeps me peaceful, real pleasure

Yeah. I think my bias is that I think porn is sh!t and that it keeps you from going deeper into your sexuality than just the surface. I think it takes away from your partner in that way, which is what I think she is getting at, you can't go deeper with your partner, your sex will suck, porn's fake it lies to you about sex, if he TRIES quitting porn and going deeper with her he will see porn was holding him and their relationship back and he'll be disgusted by porn for it. Trying this would be good for the relationship, you should be able to help each other grow in healthy ways, she isn't telling him to quit she's telling him she will leave if he doesn't, expressing a boundary, not manipulation; healthy. It doesn't just effect him it effects their sex life. Like saying if you keep getting drunk I'm leaving. You could try to figure something out with keeping porn too, sure, I'm being biased for sure. The girl I'm with likes porn and I don't have a problem with it, so I don't think I'm too biased though.

@Adam M When you take a break from porn does she ever turn you down when you want sex? You say you prefer masturbating because it's easier, have you tried letting her do the work in those instances? Women like quickies part of the time too, they love getting their guy off

"As for why don't I just have sex with her? Well, for one, masturbating alone is a completely different experience than sexual intercourse. Having sex requires tremendous focus and energy (for the guy mostly) and if I feel very tired... lazy... and just want to cum... it's a lot less pressure and more relaxing for me to just masturbate on my own. " He says THE reason he doesn't have sex with her is because he wants to masturbate to porn instead, not that she doesn't want to.

"As for why don't I just have sex with her? Well, for one, masturbating alone is a completely different experience than sexual intercourse. Having sex requires tremendous focus and energy (for the guy mostly) and if I feel very tired... lazy... and just want to cum... it's a lot less pressure and more relaxing for me to just masturbate on my own. My girlfriend says that she "feels" when I've masturbated... which is pretty obvious. My energy is slightly less." You're the one redefining cheating She wants more sex, he wants porn instead of sex. Porn is shit, it has nothing to do with expressing your sexuality it can only help you suppress your sexuality.

yes he did Sunday 1:23 pm post I'm not arguing that, it can distract you from your sexuality and sex, it definitely doesn't replace it. Cheating doesn't mean replacing

Sexuality is how you experience and express YOURSELF sexually, porn watching is not sexuality it's deception

No, he said he prefers masturbating over intercourse. Textbook porn addict symptom

Ahhhh, Yeah I need breaks for sure, just sounded like a more permanent statement from you. I mean we don't need to do some specific tasks, it's just whatever we do conscious

Seems to me someone in that position would need to take a serious break once in a while

In the first post he says his girlfriend complains they don't have enough sex He masturbates to it, It's cheating You're right

Yeah, from a worldly perspective that stuff sucks, but "suffering" from/with those things is an adventure/experience a different spice of life to taste. We don't actually make progress on the world scale for raising consciousness, like growing a corporation. The only way you raise consciousness is just by being conscious, there's nothing to do beyond that.

I don't see why you have to pretend there's separation, to me it's like reading or watching a story, it's a fun adventure, I don't pretend when reading and I still like to

I don't think you do. I've been being picky about who I start friendships with for taking relationships beyond being friendly acquaintances, I was hoping to find a few deep guys for being good friends and I haven't. I no longer think I likely will, but I also no longer think I need them to be deep, just relatively positive. Should I hold out to find deeper guys to be friends with? I take friendships seriously, I don't like getting close to people and then leaving, and I also don't like the idea of just having a ton of barely friends, so this is a more important decision to me than you might think. Thanks

You seem like a really nice person to talk to to me

Not everyone is looking to get something back from you, and I don't just mean conscious people, many average people just like company, being with different people is like dining at different restaurants of life, tasting different spices of life.

I've met adult friends and formed much deeper connections and more quickly than I did as a kid, I recommend giving it a try, to me everyone seems the same past the surface.

Meetup has some online stuff, I think for long term relationships I would look for a group within driving range though, I think it would be hard to bond 100% online which is required for long term relationships. So something 90% online but meet in person every other month for something. There's a girl user on this forum in your area actually, what sorts of stuff are you into? I'll give her a heads up if you seem like you would hit it off

I've been feeling the same way, I don't view friendship as a need anymore I view it more as an adventure and way to love, which is why I'm questioning my way of selecting friends.

@puporing What helps me is taking time away from the world, I don't do a prescribed type of meditation but I consider it a type of meditation. It's just relaxing away from society and processing things if I need to, with no set allotted time, just eventually I feel like getting back to people for curiosity, fun, and love. I don't like the idea of trying to relate, to me I prefer it more as exploring the person/relationship. Goals; it's about curiosity, fun, and love for me rather than being rooted in fear like they used to be For me acting doesn't work out, what does is having fun, curiosity, love, and appreciating beauty. The only times I have trouble are when I follow my ego and I then feel like I'm not being productive?. But it's easy for me to come back from that quickly, knowing that nothing anyone is doing in the world is productive?, and that letting life take you places is what has been the most fun for me, just going with it, not trying to do what society tells you you should, that's all lies It's all just for fun

Do you not like being around someone different? I don't think porn use is as prolific among men as it is sometimes made out to be, I'm a guy, non church going or anything like that and porn is repulsive to me, and I'm not friends with guys into it and wouldn't want to be, similar to what you said earlier I think porn use is indicative of a real problem, most of those guys are insecure, negative, and are never really happy or satisfied, I notice it when being around them in a platonic way and I don't like being around them. You may be surprised about your insecurities melting away if you get into a healthy relationship.

Boredom is when you want to do something to distract yourself from something in your head

I don't consider myself OCD but I think mattresses and cushions are disgusting ?. You could also put it out in the sun and wind on nice days, even wash it with hose or powerwasher that feeds soap, aid drying with leaf blower. I've tried to figure out how to use a bunch of stacked knitted blankets, you can wash them in a washing machine, I'm okay with using that but company prefer a mattress ? There's just so much area inside a mattress, seems like an ecosystem to me.