Devin

@eos_nyxia I think the large gathering part is about vowing to each other in front of all those witnesses, people you wouldn't lie to or want to mislead or let down. It shows the level of commitment

@puporing I'm actually planning on at least talking to Flowboy when I get a little time. I may go see someone in person as well after that. I feel fine, I've just never been to a therapist and want to see if there's something I could use help with that I'm blind to, seems like something good to do like going to a dental checkup Another reason to though, thanks I don't like the idea of a deep connection and then not maintaining the relationship though.

Ooooh, hadn't thought of that, I've never felt loved in my life, I never got it growing up either. I'm talking about I haven't met anyone that seems deep in real life. I don't like getting into friendships, exploring them and then if I don't think they're good enough we just let the friendship fade, if I start a real friendship with someone that's for life, from my side anyway. That's what I'm going to attempt, I was just holding off to find deeper people but I think I'm just gonna go forward with some of my barely friends, I don't think I'm going to really find deep people in real life in person. I no longer think I need to, I think it was sort of a dependency thing seeking that, probably that lack of love as a child you mentioned, I love myself enough now though.

@soos_mite_ah I think starting out anyway, that the people you work with is more important than the specific type of work. I think everyone's life purpose is the same though and it's not your career, it's just to be a peaceful and loving person, the rest is "just secondary", to quote a friend

@puporing beautiful

@Swarnim alright, I sort of just feel alien sometimes, like everyone else is asleep which sort of makes it feel like it's no big deal to walk away from it, not that I want to, but it feels scary easy. I think a spiritual ego might also make you cling to some concept of spirituality you have and lead you down the wrong path, I think the other guys are saying don't get attached to something "spiritual" either.

@r0ckyreed https://manhoodcanada.com/ its a cover to keep from rubbing the head on your underwear and drying out as easy

ManHood if you're circumcised, don't use harsh soap, and occasionally use a alpha hydroxy lotion for a few weeks, normal oil moisturizer everyday. And yeah don't masturbate

@Gesundheit2 yep, I love working hard, when you find something you think is worthwhile doing it takes no will power. Thanks

Music to my ears. Thanks, nice for reassurance once in a while, in my experience when you push continuously you lose some peripheral vision, when I take it in stride I always make out like a fat rat in unexpected ways because something pops up in the peripheral I wouldn't have otherwise seen, it's like things just fall into place better. My biggest problem with burn out is that when it happens you're so burnt out you just keep going albeit at turtle pace but you don't recover because you're so exhausted you don't think straight

i think you're talking about productivity and we're talking about exhaustion/harming our selves Yeah there's no limit to productivity, but you can only work so many hours/calories a day and you can only take on so much stress before you get to the other side of the bell curve and you're in depreciating return territory for productivity and then the more you work the less productive you are and it has long term effects, overheating the engine requires serious repair work.

@Ulax @Gesundheit2 that's what I'm think too, thank you

thank you, that does shed light, I don't actually feel the need to isolate I feel less and less of a need for society and others which makes me fear I could walk away, though I feel no need to or desire, I desire to be here, it just seems like I might find something else more appealing and follow that. I know this doesn't make sense but it is what it is.

@Swarnim That seems like a good idea either way, what sorts of things do you think someone with that problem would do?

keeps things exciting?

@BlessedLion That's what I do sometimes and it melts away my anxiety as well, the ego doesn't have as much grip when no one else is around. I needed the surrender reminder, thank you

I use to desire deep connection from others and never found any though, now I view socializing differently and no longer socialize for something I need from others, I think I can provide the deep connection to myself now and I socialize to give sort of that deep connection/love which is the only fulfilling thing to me.

If you go to like third person mode and focus on the experience and only watch your emotions knowing they are only attached to the occurrence and don't accept them as part of you, you'll likely still have to process a little later but it definitely lessens the impact.

@puporing yeah I wouldn't hang around people like that either, in my experience it's pretty easy to find healthy friends though. I don't mean to try to box you in though, it just seems like you're hurting, just offering

@puporing well you're not asking for it but my gut feeling is your gut feeling is right, and that it's connected with the social isolation; personally I think being a loving part of society is the only worthwhile thing in life and there's too much disconnect for me with digital society, I can only get my fix with in-person society. Just throwing that out there. I had my share of toxic people but I've come to find positive people and it wasn't hard, I still have plenty of my personal time but I sprinkle in the social like salt on a meal, it doesn't take much. If you want some help figuring out how to go about that I'm more than willing to try to help.

Yeah, if you're on the right path. The problem is if you're not on that one, I hadn't heard the spiritual ego thing but I think that's what I'm afraid of.

@puporing how long has this been for?

@Kksd74628 I hit the gym almost every night, but you can count tonight's as for you?

@Kksd74628 yeah, I actually love doing chores, .... they're cathartic to me and there's obviously purpose for doing them, you see results fast. I'm building a house right now myself for myself and there's a balancing act of how hard to push yourself though, if you push yourself too hard even though you're working you're less productive than if you find the sweet spot, I have too much tunnel vision and things I'm thinking about which promotes my struggling to find the sweet spot. It's not just physical exhaustion but some times mental as well. But taking the time to talk this out with you really helped me though ?, thanks, I don't really have a need to be in such a damn hurry. I think if you move out of being peaceful you are pushing too hard, I've followed this for a while apparently just needed a reminder, would still like to hear others thoughts though.

@gettoefl thanks, I needed that. Now just to figure out the lesson I need to learn?, keep letting go of that ego more I think.