Oso

I'm conflicted with two things. 1. There is a woman who I would like to be with as my partner one day. We have been together before but decided to split due the fact that both of us were not ready for a relationship with each other. This leads into the second thing. 2. I have many desires related to women in which I want to experience. I want to practice pickup, experience relations with varied women, have sex, and overall go through those experiences to both quench desires and become masterful with the feminine. Of course, the thought roaming in my head is to simply do none of that and wait for the woman who I feel I'll be with one day. If I followed that thought, would it be a recipe for regret down the road?

@integral Thank you. That is exactly what I needed to hear.

By this question. I'm asking how you were able to find direction in life and how you knew to trust it. I ask this question with the understanding that sources other than the Self might be faulty and inauthentic. However, my confusion arises when I have to decide between listening to my logic, dreams, intuition, etc., for direction. What I'm getting at here is two questions: Q1. What within myself speaks truth and what within me speaks nonsense? Q2. What worked for you in determining where to go in life? (What did you trust?)

I'm utterly lost in life. I feel many others are here too. I'm doing things but I feel like a husk and suffer immensely from it. It is as though I'm missing something. Actions I Have Been Taking To Solve This: Self-questioning/contemplation Listening to intuition for guidance Practicing being Putting down distractions like the phone Developing and creating with my passions Actions I Have NOT Been Taking To Solve This: Meditation Actual self-developmental productivity Questioning my fears and limitations Exposing myself to experience Seeking proper guidance, if any I'm seriously stuck and blind to something here. I feel like I cannot suffer in this ignorance any longer. Does anyone know what is going on? Or how to solve it?

Right now I'm in my first year of college, pursuing a degree and several different passions. Ideally, I'm looking to become a Yoga teaching and ultimately a guide for my own spiritual retreat center. I have a little scene that has been playing in my head for a few years now which keeps leading me that way. Besides this, I'm producing music, making mind opening videos, and going for a degree in and around English Composition. It is simply this lost feeling which has been plaguing me for the last few months. That said, I'm going to take your recommendation into action so I can stop looking elsewhere for answers and an end to my suffering.

@NoSelfSelf Very well. Thank you.

What do you suggest I do to deprogram this program? I can see what it might entail, but even now I can see the lack of self trust you are talking about. I would like to trust the self without reserve.

Thank you for the clarity and practicality you provided with this. I will get to work with it and experience what it does through action. Do you mean what I'm currently doing in life?

To put it simply, I've been indecisive about my purpose, direction, values, vision/s, goals, and more for over a year now. Even since gaining insights and slowly awakening to things, my life has been shattered from certain realms of ignorance, leaving me naked in unknowing. I feel like I'm stuck here with too many decisions. The point is that I'm very purposeful towards uncovering/creating a purpose in life. However, I cannot help but wallow in my own bullshit because of fear or something of that nature and I seemingly have gotten nowhere at the end of the day. I'm tired of being directionless and I really wish a flame could be lit under my ass so I could start going after something. Something in me wants to create and give and it cannot be otherwise. A life wasted on turning away from being purposeful seems extremely foolish at this time. So, in other words, how can I stop being indecisive about life? What is it I must actually do to get direction and go towards that direction? I don't mind if it changes overtime, I just want to get in alignment with my core direction and pursue it fully as it becomes whatever it becomes.

For around a year now I've been working on figuring out my life purpose. I've done a multitude of things from Leo's course to self refection exercises and even death contemplation. Whilst they were helpful, I haven't found the thing which clicks. I've discovered and created solid purposes here and there which seem convincing but don't seem to have the magnitude to be that thing. None of them feel like my true reason for being. The reason I'm stating all of this is because I seek some clarity whether it be through others who have had similar situations or those who simply know how to help. If I'm digging my own hole or am swimming in self deception that I can't see, I would hope for it to be called out here without reserve. There's this mental fog which is prohibiting me from progressing and it seems I've been on a self destructive path trying to find my purpose lately. I don't know what to do or where to go anymore. I just want to be purposeful in life and now I'm not even sure if that's the right thing to do.

Thank you for the advice. I don't have much to say accept that I do see its truth. I'll put things into action and see what the results are for myself. Nothing seems to go according to plan but if I make progress, I'll let you know what worked and what didn't for me.