Razard86

Okay are you actively thinking suicidal thoughts or do they happen passively?

The two paths to God.....mental suicide, or physical suicide. I'd suggest the mental suicide. True Deconstruction of the Ego is literally torture. It destroys your sense of control to reveal that the human vessel has been controlled by God this whole time and any control given to the ego was an allowance by God. This ego then realizes everything it ever accomplished was only by God's allowance, and realizes all issues it has with life it must take to God. It must learn to forgive itself, forgive life, and ultimately to forgive God as God is itself and how can it not love itself and accept itself. This path will deal with crazy, madness, possible psychosis and hallucinations. As you dissolve the boundary between the physical and mental to realize it is all mental you embrace what you consider evil, and even seek it out to reach greater acceptance. This is the path of the MADMAN, the CRAZY LOVER. God is a lover of Infinite Separation and Unification. WHAT MADNESS!!!! Take this for example: This was you, and this was me....look at what we did!!! Tell me God is not crazy from the egos perspective!!! Its like why would you allow this? Answer? Because God wants itself to discover true love without being forced into it. Sigh.....Since we are everything...WE DID THIS!!! Do you like your reflection?

You are who you are because you were raised to be sane. Spirituality is the path of the Crazy. You literally have to throw away your human story to make any real progress (you'll get it back if you want though some never reclaim it) so your fine. Spirituality will be the hardest thing you ever do if you do it right. What's the goal of Spirituality? Attempt to the best of your ability to love everything. And I mean everything!!! The shit is bonkers!!! Who can love everything? Rape, Torture, Poverty, Discrimination, Pain, Loss, Depression, etc. How well can you love what you hate? That's the work. It's why most people can't do it, because it's supposed to break you, thus showing....that you are both the strongest and the weakest simultaneously. Watch this to see an example of Spiritual work....but also realize....Leo was CRAZY to do this LOL. It's why he puts so much disclaimers in this work. If you go far enough in this work....you can become Suicidal....so tread lightly and at the same time be kinder to yourself. You are exactly the person you are supposed to be. The big secret? What is looking through your eyes....is the same looking through my eyes.

I know its an example but you give Microsoft to much credit. Still got beef with them, an update years ago deleted my files.

This man is a genius of skill and time on your hands. Shout out to his producer as well.

Every beginner is stupid, stupid just means you are ignorant so you do stuff you shouldn't. Nothing wrong with admitting it. If you put me behind the wheel of a plane, I'm a complete idiot.

You got it!!! Don't forget its also completely in love with itself, and has no barriers on what it is willing to create and experience. What helps me understand God more deeply is that God loves everything so much because it loves limitless creativity. This means it loves Genocide, discrimination, torture, suicide, insults, weakness, crying, despair. As a human ego coming to terms with THAT is when you really go deep. The funniest thing is when you discover even God thinks its evil. God allows all perspectives, and honors all perspectives, so when God as a human calls God a Devil God accepts that unconditionally.

Yes and So are you.

Whatever is...is what I am, and what ever isn't is also what I am.

That's a distinction you are creating. That which is aware....is itself a thought. Awareness is made of a thought, it's just an infinite thought that never ends. This thought is neutral, its only thought is that it is aware. It's always thinking that it is aware forever. That's what the I am awakening comes from. God is called the Great I Am.

You are a dream woman lol.

Well that's the secret, imagination is alive and intelligent. Reality is made up of thought, the structure of reality is thought. A dream is a thought, imagination is a thought, so everything is just a thought. God/Reality turns the abstract into the concrete. I am a concept in the mind of God, Consciousness can magically make a thought real. Here is an example using a cartoon. Johnny Bravo temporarily gains the power of God.

LOL when it's all imaginary in the end you can create distinctions and then dissolve them. The fun is getting Consciousness to actually SHOW you it can dissolve a distinction. At a certain point you just give up all rationality and logic because it obliterates logic. The best bet dealing with Infinity is just say everything is true, not true, and nothing ever happened and leave it at that.

I'm confused answer what exactly?

Yeah the path to God is radical open-mindedness. If you are afraid of losing your mind then you will get stuck in this work. Just remember REAL is a mental construction. For example a person would tell you that a paper clip can't have a personality. That person isn't really awake. There is no difference between a conversation with a candle stick, and a conversation with a person. Can you break the boundary between Sane and Insane? Can you realize that the source of the conversation you had with the paperclip is the same source that gives rise to human speech? Then there are the paranoia stories your mind can make up. How is that any different than the normal stories your mind makes up? Its still the same source. It's this type of radical thinking that opens up your creativity. If you open up your mind....cartoons will speak to you, and...you can even become them!!!! Curt has no clue what real open-mindedness is.

You got it, its why its so funny to me. God is an infinite story teller, that created every life story from nothing.

Well...you see the issue with eternity is....its an infinite perspective. You can view yourself however you want. You can see this as your first time here, or just a drop in a bucket in eternity because there is no beginning and no end. Here is a strange loop paradox for you....you have lived this exact life before....and this is the first time you have ever lived this life.

When you do the work deep enough you realize that you can recontextualize reality however you want and it can appear to be that way for you. That's all I'm saying. Basically in essence we are all equally deluded, and also we are not. Because reality can present itself however way it wants too. Basically reality is an infinite perspective. For example try this exercise found in this link, its really good at changing your state.

Here is another way of it making sense. Right now I am living Carl-Richard's life from Razard86's perspective.

People in your nightly dreams aren't conscious, you GIVE them your consciousness. You are the source of everything. You are my source. I cannot exist without you, and you cannot exist without me. If you as Consciousness were to destroy the material world I would cease to exist. You are MY LIFE. So it would be accurate to say, thank you Carl-Richard for creating me. Consider that!!!

The average human is actually a genius of creativity they are just not always in the right environment to bring out that genius.

I said this awhile back...Trump is a rebellion vote. Because of the emergence of Progressive Outlets that educated the working class on how much Establishment interests rule the Democratic Party, this caused a rebellion as they became more informed. The Democratic Party main issue is they have a listening problem. Progressive Outlets have been telling them for years that true Populism is what they needed. But because the Democratic Party has been exposed by their own base and refuse to admit it and change, their own base says I will vote against my own interests than have someone claim to have my back while they stab me in the back. Trump is openly, authentically not liberal, and liberals would rather have an Authentic Non Liberal, than a Fake Liberal. Just goes to show you, America is tired of double speak, and establishment politics, the funny thing is....they will still get it with Trump. That's what they get for sabotaging Bernie Sanders!!!! LOL. Democrats the message is clear, your base does not believe you Authentically Care about them.

I agree that it sounds like you have a neurological disorder. If you are not suicidal but are getting those thoughts it probably is that. When you say thoughts you mean voices in your head right? Or is it imagery, or both? I recently was doing some Spiritual Work and entered a State of Consciousness where my mind started creating personalities within me that talked to me and tormented me. I had to take some medication to get it to stop. You could be suffering from psychosis. What did the Doctors say?

You can definitely say that, but that is God as formless. The moment God takes any kind of form it loses that infinite freedom.

Exactly Eternity can't end because nothing is happening. Physicality is a really strong immersion that Absolute Infinity uses.