Vercingetorix

There is Trickery in that 1) In regretting your imply that you can control your life, the circumstances of your life - and that is simply not true (From a normal Ego perspective at least) - You do not control The circumstances of your life. 2) You might say "no but I do control my reactions. and in that time I decided to act in a stupid and not do the course, and I regret today - In that case, you do not realize that you are in a process of development. It means that you had to act in the "stupid way" that you did so now you can grow from this. that's the only way to grow! In order to choose now to do the course, you had to choose to not do it in the past. Imagine if you again opted to not do it now and only in 10 years realize that you should do it. You can be grateful that you do it now 3) When you are talking about the past, you don't really talk about the past - you talk about the present. What do you gain from Regretting? what "Hidden" benefit do you have from it? Maybe it's hard for you to accept certain parts of yourself? the "lazy part" or any other part of you that made you not take the course in the past perhaps? 4) The Root: We assume that everything comes from our childhood. We can ask the question - what a child needs to experience so that when she is an adult she will experience Regrets? we can look at regrets as a form of violence towards oneself. The violence that was inflicted on her, that she learnt and she keeps inflicting towards herself. Is it criticism for her parents? do the regrets represent in you the voice of your parents that were criticizing towards you? and maybe you feel guilty still of what you were criticized? If it is so, It's important to go to the Root Memories and release the blame - telling the child: "you are not guilty", "you were doing what you could", "you couldn't do anything differently", "you did what you could and that's OK". 5) It's about the journey, Not the destination. It doesn't really matter when you start, because all you really have is this moment. and if at this moment you follow your bliss, you pursue your purpose, you progress In your life, you're in flow - you are satisfied and happy, aren't you? and It doesn't necessarily get better than that.

@Leo Gura Leo, If we assume that you have exactly what you want to have (consciously or unconsciously), why do you think that you choose to have this Health condition? what do you gain from having it?

My ex-girlfriend whom I still live with, truly believes that If I truly loved her, it won't matter that I'm not so much attracted to her. I believe her that she really believes this and that she is accepting me 100% with all my flaws. But I don't feel that I can do the same, I can "accept how she looks" - it seems like a core issue. To me, it just doesn't seem to work, no matter how much I love her as a person, that I feel a deep connection with her, and can tell her anything, I just don't feel attracted to her even though that she is a pretty girl, she just doesn't do it to me. I feel no passion/romantic love to her (unless drugs or if I wake up in the middle of the night for some reason). Also, we gave great sex - and I enjoy it when we have it, now we rarely do it because I feel I have to force myself a little bit to do it, even If I know that I will enjoy it later. I think that the root of it is that when I look at her for real close, while having sex, I don't feel attracted to her face? And also maybe because sometimes she threatens me and beat me I feel that I can't really trust her. SO I would like to know - did any men here had the experience of becoming attracted to a girl that previously were not attracted to? BTW when I started to date her I felt attracted but it was "needy attraction" not from "choice".

@Forestluv thanks, it helps to read other's experiences

A girl told me today that she is not attracted to me, and I was somewhat surprised. I was wondering how attraction on the spiral works? The more developed I am the more the opposite sex is attracted to me? Or mostly girls from my stage are attracted to me? Is it possible that a girl will not be attracted to me because I'm too evolved for her? a stage orange girl won't be attracted to green boy for example?

My friend told me that in Tantra it is said that unconsciously am attracted to women with same emotional patterns as My mom, and that ultimately this kind of relationships will not be happy. And the the solution is to grow my weak side\energy (male or female) and then I will attract women that are not like my mom. I would like to read about this theory or other theories that are related, that demystify all of that because I feel a little bit in the dark regarding that. Leo's List books (book number X in Y category), Books in generals, Youtube videos etc. are welcomed

@flowboy ??

@flowboy @flowboy @flowboy you are right ????

@flowboy I assume you mean therpiests and not therapy clients. I'm sure you are right, I just don't see the connection, she is not my client. how am I failing exactly?

@egoeimai thanks I think I agree @Amit you are lost on me @Raze I do not watch porn. I do masturbate 2-3 times a week though @Roy Thanks for the care basically I agree with you and see this pretty clearly now. The reason I tolerate the violence and the threatening is that I kind of enjoy the process - it makes me feel alive and at the moment, it's a great opportunity for me to observer myself, to see how I am identified with my thoughts and to break the identification, to practice different kind of techniques I learnt to deal with tough situations, to gain experience in such situations so that I could help my clients (coaching/therapy) later. to try to see if I cad do anything to let her see the situation more objectively. For example, I try to see if when I manage to stay 100% compassionate (to myself and to her), calm, honest, not judgmental - will she still be able to hurt me (sadly yes but it's really minimal). Also, I try to see everything that happens in my life as 100% MY responsibility, so I kind of focus on what I can do different and better that such a thing won't happen again? In addition, if she hits me really hard, I do not tolerate it and strike back. But I understood that I won't tolerate it anymore and in fact, we just had a talk now and It looks like she kind of get it. I told her that I feel afraid to be with her and can't trust her, and made it clear that if she threatens me again or hit me - I will call the police. She says that she gonna find another place to leave (not the first time though, every time I hint on separation she cries how much she want to stay with me as a friend). I find it amazing that with a person that most of the time I am best friends with and feel 100% safe and loved, suddenly it changes 180 degrees and I'm don't feel safe with. And to think that the root of this behaviour is that she is "in love" with me.

@Username thanks for sharing

@mandyjw she doesn't believe me that I'm not attracted to. she doesn't think it's possible because she would "do anything for me" and because most people find her attractive.

@Leo Gura that's also what my intuition tells me @egoeimai If most women are mostly attracted to character and character can be changed pretty fast, it means that for a woman it can happen @Roy exactly, sometimes she threatens to throw my books/break my stuff/destroy my notebooks. and sometimes she hits me

@Opo but if I'm really developed I have confidence, knowledge etc which are really attractive to girls. So I would expect an orange girl to be attracted to yellow for example.

through my psychedelic trips and Leo's videos there exist the experience / notion of "only I exist" - I am the only consciousness that exist, and all other consciousnesses are merely Illusions - Like characters In a dream / computer game that have no independent existent on their own. Do I understand it right? If this is true, I do not completely understand why is that so, why it is not possible for other consciousnesses to exist and experience a different reality? The logic for that is that the "Truth" is not a concept, it's only what exist in my direct experience, So any experience that I am not directly conscious of can exist only in my Imagination and therefor false. But on the other hand Leo is saying that the truth is what I imagine, so If I imagine that other consciousnesses exist they "truly" exist? Anyways, it makes me feel puzzled, because if only I exist than why Leo and all of you do not acknowledge this, admit that you are figments of my Imagination? Also, So I have to assume that Only I am real but in this imaginary world that I created everyone behave as if they existed - and they behave as if they exist only for me to experience love? And ultimately, If true, How should it practically change my life? for example, now by writing this post I have to assume that you, the one who reads this post are all real just for the sake of helping me, The only real consciousness, to explore this world that I created?

@Someone here I like your answer. Nonetheless I understand that it is possible to be conscious That only "I" exist. In my deepest Awakening experience only "I" existed. But this knowing doesn't seem to pass on to regular, dual life So should I discard this experience in my regular life? I am looking for an explanation that will satisfy both views (some of the explanations here seem to do so ).

When dealing live with other people, how do you deal with your emotions in real-time? I'm experimenting now with different techniques, and was curious to know about the full spectrum of reactions to negative emotions in Situations when you feel Anger/frustration/judgment/blame or other emotions like embarrassment/shame. techniques I use: Non-identification / Mindfulness - being aware of the thought/ "Angry me" and realizing I have the choice to not identify with it Body - putting my attention on my body, identifying the body sensations that are hard for me to feel and taking care of them - breathing to them, accepting them. Inner child - talking to the "inner child" in me - the childish part in me that is in pain, understanding what he needs and taking care of him, hugging me, soothing him. Enjoying Mindset - Being happy that a sensation arises because now I can be with it, sense it and dissolve it through feeling it. Non violent communication - Identify and Connect to my need that is behind this emotion. Curiosity\seeking understanding - connect to not knowing - Identify the assumption that causes me the unpleasant emotion, seeing that it's not the truth and asking the other side why he behave in the way he behave (in a honest, non judgmental way) I would like to know what other effective techniques exist.

I see that this question is something I focus on a lot in my life. I think I made the assumption that it's also something that everyone is occupied with. But now I realize that maybe not. That most people are just living their lives "automatically" without giving a second thought to their reactions. @Nahm can you elaborate about the use of LOA, I"m not sure i'm getting it (maybe an example ) @ivankiss does it let your respond in the way that you are happy about?

@NatureB From a Coaching training course I did in a coaching method called "Satya" here in Israel. @Aquarius can you elaborate on the purifying of mind and transcending ego process? There are situations, pretty exclusively with my (not exactly) girlfriend, that she becomes strongly emotional and has a specific need from me, and that specific need pushed deep buttons inside of me and feels like satisfying her need at the moment will be at the expense of myself. For example there are times that she becomes quite "needy", in a demand for constant attention/love/hug/sex and at the same time I'm in a strong need for space/freedom/doing what I want/ not feeling forced to do something (in my childhood I often had the feeling that I am forced to do things I didn't want so it's a deep rooted feeling in me) And at these times sometimes I find myself not sure how to deal with the situation. @Nahm It's a start what's your way?

@Aquarius what do you mean that are unable to feel negative emotions? how did you reach it? how do you raise your vibration practically? I agree that emotions are not really negative, but practically speaking do you have a better word to call them? The thing with expressing my emotion freely and openly in my experience is that when the other side is also emotional it will usually just escalate the situation. any tips?

1) you don't have to identify with your thoughts, thoughts are just thoughts, and you always find proof to any thought that comes. even if now you will take the opposite thought - you could find why it's true. 2) these thoughts are defense mechanics - created in your childhood to protect you but are no longer necessary. when you are emotional, you can connect to your body sensations, ask from where do I know these sensations (example tension in the throat - from when do I know this tension? and a childhood memory will probably come. then you can ask yourself if everything was possible, what this child would want to do , would like to say? what this child needs? (use your imagination to get the child what he needs) and heal this part.

what about these books? https://www.youtube.com/user/JoeRodriguesTV/videos

you can ask yourself: "what does she needs from me?" (she needs attention? love? see that those parts of her that you hate, are childish parts of her that we never given what they needed and so were never transcended, and by helping and giving her them you can help her grow - you can see that she is just a little girl in a woman's body and it can trigger compassion to her ) and when you identify her needs you can give them to her in a way that suits you, that is easy for you to give.

My motivation for spiritual growth has dwindled in the last 6 months. I work and see a lot of progress in the outer world - with girls and pick up, with my self-esteem, with emotions mastery, communication - I have high levels of motivation for this stuff. But not so much for anything "beyond". I barely meditate, barely practice yoga, and do not engage so much in spiritual knowledge and practice. Although my highest values are freedom, truth and love, I see that I am in kind of a fear to pursue truth. the reason is, that I feel as I have glimpsed the truth, and "didn't like" what I've seen ( in my 3 ayahuasca sessions, I will attend another session in a few days) My fear is similar to what is described in the recent topic about solipsism here (for some time I wanted to ask Leo about this topic but his reply in this thread "confirmed" my suspicions about it, I had a very strong surge of fear and loneliness when I read his reply). In a way, it's a stupid topic to discuss with "others". because even just trying to explain to you people the topic forces me to be under the "others exist" illusion. writing here to you guys I have to assume that you exist and I can gain value from discussing with you, that even If "I" alone exist, "you" do seem to experience the same stuff and can help me. I can't wrap my head around it. If I knew for sure that I alone exist my course of action in my life will be different than if others exist. (will be more focused on me than on others). also If I act as if I alone exist people may think that I am mad and even if it's true it's seems something that I have to hide to an extent. So I feel like I am kinda stuck. that If I alone exist I can't really trust others reports about spiritual experiences, only my own, and so far for me, it seems to reveal an uncomfortable truth about me being alone, and not stuff like unconditional love, total bliss... Always when I came back from my psychedelic experiences I was very happy, but only because I returned to safety, to a place where others exist and I'm not alone. I'm so happy to return to the "worldly illusion". So why should I pursue this path? why not enjoy this illusion while it lasts? it's not so bad here after all. On the other hand, I read and hear about all the progress and experiences people are having with spirituality and "envy" them, and for most things, It seems that others experiences can be trusted and mirror mine. but again, when the "truth" of solipsism really hits me, and I surrender to it fully, I really accept that I'm alone, it seems that every piece of knowledge from others collapse, that I can't trust Leo experiences or any others, I feel truly alone. And then I'm afraid because I feel that I am groping in the dark, in the unknown, and what little I have in my life I may lose so I better stick to it. another point, Is that I can't fathom how to talk to others about this topic ( as you can see here...) how can I address this Issue? it's A fucking paradox. If my experience is that "only I exist" and my experience so far in life is that even if others don't exist it seems as they exist "like me" so I have to address anyone else as if he alone exist If I want him to understand me. and this forces me to see the world as if "others exist". I want so deeply to believe that ultimately at the end all there is is unfinite love, that the story of life has a "good ending", but I fear it is not so, That ultimately I'm here alone, responsible to all that is happening, trapped here... edit: Just watched Leo's solo retreat part 2 from 26:50, And it's almost exactly my experience and conclusions.

how much time per day it took you to count calories?@Amandine