Glaucus

@puporing Thank you for your kindness, I will reach out to you tomorrow, it's pretty late where I'm at rn.

Hey all. Apologies if this is in the wrong section, this one seems more fitting to me since I'm not in a crisis or even ordinarily in this state. In the course of my meditation lately (the past week), I have hit a rough patch insofar as I have dug pretty deep into my unconscious feelings, and I have reached a lot of heavy, dark emotions. A lot of sadness and fear mostly acquired during my upbringing. It is quite intense, to understate it, unpleasant too. It has impacted my ability to perform at school & work and even carry out the necessities of my daily routine. I know what I must do is I must keep meditating, keep my awareness on these feelings, and give love to myself where I am lacking it most, but this is just very intense. I was just wondering if anybody here has experienced anything similar, has any advice about how they got through it, or even just some encouragement. It's just really hard to look at. I understand why I have not looked at it for so long. Thank you for your kindness & compassion.

So for over a week now, the scope of my meditation has naturally drifted over to observing the attachment issues that I have. For the first couple of days, I felt like I was observing this part of my mind pretty productively and that I was beginning to understand the mechanisms of this issue and its underlying reasons. But then one day--it's kinda difficult to describe exactly what happened, I'm not the most certain how it went down--I felt these feelings really grab a hold of my body and thoroughly tense up my muscles. I observed this too and it passed within minutes, but then I found myself unable to return to where I had left off observing the attachment issues. It was like there was the wall my ego was putting up that my awareness kept bumping into, unable to pass through it. And it has remained like this for the past four or five days now. My meditation is naturally taking me towards my attachment issues, but pretty immediately from the onset of the session, I become stuck at this wall. I focus my attention on the blockage, but I feel as though I have made no progress in getting through it. It frustrates me and I am beginning to worry I am not being effective with my meditation. It seems pretty obvious to me that the answer is "Keep meditating" but I want to know if anybody here has experienced anything similar and/or has any advice. Should I keep sitting before this mental wall and continue focusing my attention on it, or should I manually set a different intention when I meditate and come back to this later? Thank you for your help.