Yeah Yeah

From my research I have come to prepare myself suicide or not that depending on your state of vibrational frequency ... Not thoughts or emotion like core belief of being like maybe you believe for example in a Hell while your thoughts or emotions wish for a heaven ... The state of clarity you die with and those core beliefs will mirror your energy into an echo chamber here after. So if you have shame or you believe you deserve to punished in eternal torment then that is what carries over, and in the astral realms what you intend is what you get and you create your own reality ... But even in the hell realms your vibration will be a million-fold of what you fear here on earth, you may hear screaming and gnashing of teeth, blackness blacker than black, deformed entities that lead you away with malicious manipulation and tell you horrid things or rip you apart, or take you to realms more real than this life, or into torturous environments ... All millionfold more than anything you have experienced here ... Like those hell realms make the worst of life you've endured here on earth seem a park picnic in comparison, like your pure hate for someone in this life is more like love than the hate those entities feel for you in a realm like that ... But ... Until you crack open and start telling yourself you deserve love and create love and reach for divine miraculous intervention then the realm shifts instantly to a white light with angelic avatars or christ like entities ... It's messed up I know because before coming across this information I finally had a method I wanted to lean to since all my research for methods are essentially off limits like pure helium is hard to obtain, or pills don't have the the stuff in them like they used to overdose on and it's really hard to these days to find something effective but ... When I did get close to a method finally then a new thread appeared of hell realm nde experiences not just the ones of unconditional love - the unconditional love ones make up for like 95 percent of deaths while the hell ones are rare but do happen at like maybe 5 percent - I personally hoped for Universalism as a belief I've finally found a word for but I think in the ultimate sense might be so but also that if say Leo is correct and everything is my own solipsistic bubble then maybe the whole nde reports are also just figments of my own dream and the end is truly unknown

Yeah Leo actually goes extreme which I personally disagree because I know for a fact that I am currently this moment typing this out to you so by his extreme theory you all and everyone do not exist - I've listened to these types of teachings of his on repeat and have taken a break of such extreme ideas and now coming to these forums I wonder if he was speaking of the all non-duality ultimate consciousness being whatever as ultimately solipsistic but no I've recently researched solipsism video and he means to its most extreme - so I'm aware I am me so technically from that video you are not real but I have a hard time going that far - unless I haven't taken 5 meo DMT and seen what he has seen but idk I push back surely - surely other people do exist

@Leo Gura Feeling inspired again to return to psychedelics, but this time not just to trip — I’m more interested in actual breakthroughs. I think what I’ve really been after is experiencing things like ego dissolution, nonduality, and God-realization firsthand, not just reading or thinking about them. I’ve done acid and had some decent insights, but it still felt like it stayed within the realm of the mind — like ideas and patterns being rearranged. I’ve also tried normal DMT (N,N-DMT) a few times. Didn’t fully break through, but it felt alien, fluid, and alive in a way that was completely different from acid — almost like touching something other, but not fully becoming it. If 5-MeO really goes beyond both — not just visual or alien, but actually dissolves the self and shows you what you are at the core — then yeah, that might be the direction I need to explore. Feels like I’ve done a lot of circling, but haven’t quite hit the center yet. So I’m seriously considering it now, not as escapism, but as a way to actually get clear on what awakening really is.

@Leo Gura Appreciate the clarity. I’ve done light DMT before — trippy, but not breakthrough. Ayahuasca’s been on my radar more seriously, feels more transformational than visual. Haven’t done it yet, but I’ll add it to my "if/when finances align" list. I’ve felt stuck in a low-grade state for years — writing, meditating, surrendering — but no real shift. Hearing you say that’s not deep enough kind of confirms what I’ve sensed. Maybe I’ve been mistaking self-awareness for actual awakening. @Breakingthewall I hear you. I’ve wrestled with being stuck between seeking liberation through my story and trying to just be. Your reminder to drop everything and open to raw being hits something deep. It’s not easy — but I’m listening. Thanks to both of you — this is more than theory for me. I’m in the trenches with it daily.

@Wilhelm44 yes I've done the psychedelics but fairly sure that is more a materialist experience within the human dream rather than the clarity of spiritual sober awakening to some higher self or my god self teachers circle around yet when I practise dropping my identity to form and ready to wake up it doesn't seem to work so I'm confused how I could be infinite intelligence pretending to be limited and yet unable easily awaken to myself like good game but I now wish to remember - I mean Tom Campbell or Donald Hofman even say we are in a virtual headset so I can't seem to take it off whenever I wish and awaken to my fuller self which makes little sense to me

@Sugarcoat Hey Sugarcoat, thanks for jumping in. I’ve read your post and yeah, it sounds like you really get it. I think there’s something about the way this whole ‘awakening’ thing gets talked about that just doesn’t hold up when you’re knee-deep in the rawness of it. Like, I’ve done the work — the states, the meditations, the isolation, the letting go — but somehow it still feels like I’m stuck in a loop. I’m not here looking for sympathy or quick fixes, just trying to cut through the noise and see if any of this can actually lead somewhere real. So it helps to hear someone echoing that back. Let’s keep the thread alive — maybe there’s some signal in all this noise.

@Leo Gura Thanks again Leo, I appreciate the post. I'm really trying to sit with what you're saying — that the only reason I’m not awake is because I’m in the wrong state. I want to take that seriously. But here's where I get caught: If state is everything, and none of the things I’ve tried so far — meditation, weed, writing, deep contemplation, surrender — have shifted my state into that “radiance of God” you describe, what specifically changes it? Like what changed it for you? Because it’s not that I’m not trying — it’s that when I ask “how do I shift state,” I keep running into abstract answers like “raise your consciousness” or “change your frequency.” So here’s my question — does changing state mean moving into higher vibrational states? Like David Hawkins' map of consciousness: powerlessness, grief, fear, desire, all the way up to joy, peace, enlightenment. I've even heard some spiritual folks say that if you get too blissful, too joyous, your body starts to "de-manifest" from physical reality because your frequency is too high. Is that what you’re pointing at? That I’ve gotta basically drop my painful life story — stop identifying with the suffering, poverty, loneliness — and instead force my state into one of joy or love or expansion? And then that will be the gateway into God-consciousness? Or are you saying that even that wouldn’t be enough unless it’s a radically different state that overrides all vibrational emotional states? Because honestly, I’m tired of what feels like gaslighting myself. I want something real. I want to actually wake up, not just pretend I’m not the person struggling to survive in a shitty life. So I’m open — I just need some clarity: does the path involve transcending the lower states by reaching joy, or is the path something else entirely? Because if the answer is just “be in a different state,” and I’ve tried everything I know, then how do I actually get into that state?

@Schizophonia That’s incredibly reductive, man. You’re assuming this is just psychological when I’m talking about metaphysical imprisonment. You’re reducing a spiritual dilemma to a DSM diagnosis. That tells me more about your framework than mine. Maybe I do have mood issues—but don’t assume you understand my reality just because it’s rawer than what you’re used to. Also... you post under the name Schizophonia. You of all people should understand that sometimes spiritual and psychological states blur.

@Sugarcoat I appreciate this more thoughtful response. And yes, I’ve spent a hell of a lot of time looking inward. Journaling, meditating, stripping layers. But that hasn’t dissolved this “self.” It hasn’t ended the loop. So either I’m not going deep enough (even though I feel like I’ve gone to the core), or this whole structure is rigged in a way that no amount of self-observation can undo without some divine intervention. I wonder if there is more than just watching the self die slowly?

@Schizophonia I hear you, but “take care of yourself” doesn’t really engage with the depth of what I’m saying. I’m not asking for life tips—I’m asking why, if I am God, this game is still ongoing with no clear exit. Saying “take care” feels dismissive when what I’m laying out is a direct confrontation with the paradox of awakening.

I know I exist - I am having my own experience yet not one of you has as much vigor to respond equally which either mean none of you exist or you don't actually want to hear someone break your fantasy for feeling special - I exist and it is offensive for any one of you to act like I'm a figment of your ignorable background prop that is not truth that is cosmic narcissistic - I know I exist and yet no one has acknowledged that and equally agreed how much they exist instead I have been continually ignored for the sake of other people jerking themselves off in Mama's basement hoping to feel more divine than anyone expressing their actual lived felt experience

I am constantly being ignored and my logic is not collecting actual debate I am making sense yet I am being ignored - this is narcissistic theatre - if you actually responded to me you're afraid you'll have to realise you aren't actually the only supreme node in all this experience and that'd crush your ego more than truth absolutely disappointing especially on a Leo forum this is childish if anything

This goes two ways I am the dreamer and you all are NPCs arguing in relativity so my cosmic research as a node of the only awareness reflecting back to myself or you all equally do have your own independent experience but dance around my logic here because you hope to still get a kick that one of you is the only solipsistic bubble in the void but that is a form of conscious supremacey above other commenters and beings which is highly egoistic but most of you won't accept that as a possibility because you get a real kick in the hopes you might be the supreme awareness and someone like me is an ignorable figment of your dream

I still don't understand why people aren't responding to me to argue for their own experience like you typed a response and you say I am here and I am having my own experience because I am typing this and I know I have my own experience so if any one of you says that back to me like yeah I'm here and then I say yeah I'm here and we are both sure we are each here then that disproves solipsism but no one is doing that each of you continue dancing around it and pretending mental masturbation around this idea could somehow hold true but from this argument's logic I'm reading I know I exist and therefore you all would by solipsism not exist and that surely can't be the case and yet no one is voicing with as much vigor as myself they exist and getting to the point with me so either you all are indeed NPCs ignoring me because I'm the sole dreamer or you each hope to be the supreme dreamer but still argue against other commenters in this thread who also talk as if to hope to awaken they are the sole dreamer like this is absurd

If I'm the only dreamer then how do I wake up from this dream and what happens to me when I die is it madness, limbo, bliss, divine schizophrenia or super self awareness manyfold spiritually but without human distracts to escape myself

I still wonder to what extent Leo implies his theory of solipsism like to it's extreme because there are multiple people debating and using terms like others do have their own independent dream lives in a shared reality - by this logic I'm the main character and you all are dream imaginings like come on there is no way that should be offensive to anyone else in this forum because I know I have my own experience independent of whether I read anyone else's response or not I can choose my own autonomous experience like anyone else in this forum surely - this alone debunks solipsism unless you insist this solipsism idea then I am aware of myself as the lonely dreamer which I don't buy into honestly - this solipsism idea must be like spiritual clickbait for endless engagement from people in the forum

@Eskilon not true this is based off false logic on the human level I can choose to agree or disagree but you are distinct from myself living seperate lives within a shared reality called Earth

@Salvijus okay so all is consciousness whatever that means because why put words to the ineffable but here we are, and so other people are conscious as the same as me ... From yours or Leo's logic ... Therefore other people are consciousness in expressions relative to my consciousness game as a human being - but in a sense I'm not the only dreamer dreaming them to play my own finite individualized human experience? Because what ... Do people only exist if I observe them and the infinite field of consciousness then collapses into a person of their own supposed dreamer quality like myself or when I look away from someone they literally disappear and if I don't think of them they are of the infinite field nonexistent until I consciously observe them and they collapse back into a form pretending to have consciousness and so I'm literally from this logic the only dreamer and you are not real bro surely someone can be as possessed as me to exclaim they typed out their response like I am and if that is so we both exist as independent dreamers within a shared consensus reality ... I doubt it bro

Can someone clarify exactly what Leo means by solipsism idk what other people believe - like me as this dreamer dreaming my life I am the only one and other people are figments of my imagination on the fly, i'm sure this is how Leo puts it in the YouTube videos ... By his definition and is that what you all are playing at or ?

@Loveeee Okay so how might one of those ways enlighten me that I am the only one and Leo or any other reply is literally my own dream material which ultimately dismisses your own independent dreamer experience which should be insulting to any conscious being

@Sugarcoat good point because he's talking shmack if he thinks he is superior to my own experience right this moment and I'm just his dream material so what I should drop on a knee a worship his high all mighty consciousness

@Eskilon way to attack someone making better claims than your own - sound to me this solipsism idea you cling to for superiority has become almost religious to the point you'll tear down those outside it to protect your insecurities about the unknown or truth

@Eskilon what the actual f did you just say bro how the f are you going to tell someone you don't even know that they lack consciousness below your own that is so so so messed up and offensive what the f haha no way you must have forgotten to drink your coffee this morning sounds like you consciousness is lower than my own

@Sugarcoat 🤣

@Eskilon by various sages and whatever? You're still squeezing the juice all you can bro so you are really denying my own independent experience? How about I drop to my knees and worship you as the dreamer and since by your logic I'm st a side prop surely ... Oh great dreamer please dream me to be more attractive to the women and have more money