Consept

Was gonna say similar, it goes to the lack of education in the western of anything past European history

I think the caveat is that being rich wont necessarily make you happier than if you werent rich. If you were unhappy when you were poor and then you become rich youd most likely still be unhappy, the flip of that could work as well in that, if you were happy when you were poor youd be happy when you were rich as well. It is of course possible that in the process of becoming rich you found meaning and purpose and this gave you happiness, you could also get disillusioned in the process as well. What i will say from personal experience of having literally no money to having some money is that there can be a certain freedom of not having much to worry about except bills and going to work, when you have money its very easy to get locked into financial traps ie mortgage, a business, protecting your money etc, in theory you actually have more problems the more money you get as the late great Biggie said. Personally I'd choose the challenges of having money as i personally like those challenges and feel that they offer growth and push you to learn and be adaptable, but i can fully understand why people wouldnt want to go down that path. I think maybe a better way to phrase it is making money can give you growth but nothing material can give you happiness.

There's plenty of books and materials to research this topic. Why not look at them and come back and educate us, it's not hidden information. Hint: Africans are dumb is prob not the answer

I think its a case of diminishing returns, the difference between someone earning £15k and £55k could be massive in terms of being comfortable, productive able to not worry about survival etc. But the difference between say earning £100k and £140k would probably not make that much difference, theres not much more you could do with the higher amount that you couldnt do with the lower. So once you kind of have enough or have enough coming in, it ceases to really give you that happiness boost that youre probably looking for, which is most likely what drives people to earn more because theyre looking for that golden amount that would satisfy them but it never comes. Also how humans work is by comparing themselves to those around them, so in a village in India maybe the richest person earns 10k a year and feels on top of the world because theyre richer than everyone else, but someone who earns 100k in London who lives an expensive street where theyre the lowest earner, probably feels really poor in comparison. So its all very relative and subjective. Bottom line in the western world, if you can get to about 70k, more money is not going to make you happier and if you can live without comparing yourself to others that will also lead to a much more content existence

Yeah this was pretty good actually, vet under rated

I love chess, play a couple games daily. I think it's a great metaphor for life as well, in that its good to have a plan but that plan has to be constantly adaptable because of the factors outside of your control, ie the other players moves. It's also great to get in the zone as you need a high level of concentration to play well. Near 1500 is the highest I've been on chess.com and 1700 on lichess. But its so hard to improve or even maintain those numbers and it gets to a point where if you're not gonna be a pro it's better to just enjoy the game, without worrying too much about the numbers.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying dont date, it is important to date and get that experience, but I'm saying don't date just to specifically find a wife that will help you with loneliness. Date to enjoy it, to learn about someone new, to have good and bad experiences, basically dont put any expectations on it, just have fun, life is not so serious. The more you date the more you realise what you like and don't like and then these will inform your decisions on whether you even want to go married and if you do to which type of person. It's great you're doing therapy and reading but it should also be balanced out with practical experience.

If your issue is loneliness then why not solve that before bringing someone else in? If you need someone there to avoid that feeling then are you even making a choice? You've dressed up the question as if it's you just deciding a good time to have a wife and kids but this doesn't seem to be the case. If you had said something like 'I want to share my love, knowledge and being with others in a familial situation', then yeah I'm with you but if your reason is literally I don't want to be alone so I'm going to find someone to have kids with and they can keep me company, then you really need to look into that. It also seems you're using enlightenment as some kind of spiritual bypass. Ken Wilbur talks about how important 'cleaning up' is, as in in cleaning up your mental bullshit, your fears, anxieties, insecurities etc. This should be your priority atm, this means therapy, it means a lot introspection etc etc, before you go down any of these roads you're talking about. If you don't and you make big decisions like starting a family, these will be things that will still affect you and most likely you'll pass onto your family

You could lose all your money yes and it may take a few tries, but usually this is the route for most entrepreneurs, they have a lot of failures before a big success. So this is part of the process and something you have to learn from. Getting the funding is also part of the game but depending on where you are there are usually options for this.

Why not do both? Or even better why not invest most and get funding for your business idea? If the Idea is really good and will make money, then most likely you'll be able to get funding for it, all you have to do is make sure the profit you're getting from the investments is more than the interest your paying for the loans and then youre golden. Plus you can payback the start up costs in installments instead of big chunks.

Obviously we're talking about a long process of overcoming trauma, that cant be summed or minimised here as its a complexed thing. What youre saying of course has some truth, but i wasnt talking about emotionally bypassing trauma by using an affirmation. The question from op was 'what makes a psychologically healthy person', i would argue that being psychologically healthy includes, but is not limited to, truly not taking things personally. If you are not psychologically healthy and are saying a mantra to get there obviously thats not psychologically healthy. If someone takes everything personally of course thats not healthy. Its not going to completely alleviate past trauma of course but is used as a tool to open ones perspective by many therapists to overcome the past trauma, whilst they also be with and process the past trauma. If people are aware of this 'rule' going forward, it can also reduce trauma, that guy that cut you off in traffic that i cant stop thinking about and taking it personal? Actually a different perspective is i just happened to be there but he cuts people off everyday so its not personal to me. Im not arguing against what youre saying, its just that its not a binary either/or situation

I dont really get the analogy because what you're saying is something that's not true or at least not verifiable to console someone and so yes, in that case they won't face the emotion and repress it. But saying that it wasn't personal when your mum shouted at you is facing the reality, the alternative is to say to you or for you to think that your mum shouted at you all because of you, that is not actually true, it's a faulty perspective. These perspectives are exactly what build up life long traumas in kids, when they think that their parents divorced because of them for example. I don't see how it would be helpful to process a faulty perspective, might be more helpful to correct your perspective even retroactively which is something commonly done in therapy. Or of course could be both where you process it as well as changing perspective.

I don't see it as an affirmation or a bypass mechanism, I'll admit it could be used like that. But I think it is a reality and it's acknowledging the reality that when your mum shouted at you as a kid and you got upset it wasn't about you it was either your mum had a bad day, or had her own traumas but there was a reason for it. Thinking it was about you is a childish notion of the world revolving around you. I think it's probably the most realistic thing you could think about a lot of situations

No I agree, thats an important caveat that you raised. Its easy to follow dont take anything personal and just be like, 'yeah you know ill float through life and let people do what they feel even if it affects me because theyre not aware'. But in reality you have to have your boundaries both for yourself and what is acceptable in general, usually if someone is doing something that hurts you or other people then that needs to be called out, the person youre calling out then has a choice to continue their behavior elsewhere or hopefully change it. Its like a dog that bites too hard when it plays, it doesnt mean or even know its doing it but you cant allow it to continue, so you have to give it a firm rebuke every time it does it so it knows and if it doesnt listen you may have to rehome it.

I think the four agreements are a good starting point but especially don't take anything personal. That is one that's really stayed with me and I think is so important. Nothing is really about you, the fact most people go around thinking pretty much everything is about them is very psychologically unhealthy.

Ocd is tough and can be around for a while or go very quickly depending on how you deal with it. There are no shortcuts though so don't look at ways to just bypass it or transcend it. The key word is acceptance, as in you have to fully accept that it's there and not fight it or even want it to go, just see it for what it is, which are thoughts. If you are in the mindset of how do I get rid of it or what can I do to bypass it, that will counter intuitively keep it around longer. A good way to face it directly is erp or exposure response preventation, which is basically being around what triggers your ocd and not responding, just letting those thoughts and sensations be there. This is a practice just like meditation or shamanic breathing, you have to do this everyday and do it the right way. So I would advise looking into that more and going ahead with it. Its not an easy journey but definitely can be improved

I wasn't talking about you specifically or what you do or dont deserve, with due respect I don't know you so I couldn't make any claims like that, I was just sharing some thoughts I've personally had on the general topic. When I say 'you' in the comment I wrote, its more of an overall you as in if it applies to you. Sometimes it's important to look at other perspectives and nuances of topics, but if its the case you just wanted to state they've you've switched from nice guys to bad boys, without further discussion or expansion then that's cool as well.

I think every boy/man goes through the 'nice guy' or 'simp' phase which as I see it, can be defined as being what a woman says she wants. Ie respectful, put her first, put her on a pedestal, see her as your number 1 priority, I can sympathise with this as it's what's taught to boys in mainstream society especially if there's no strong role model to teach any different. The implication of this teaching is whatever your natural inclinations are as a man, they should be sacrificed and buried because to get a good woman you have to be a good provider and be what your woman needs you to be, so this erodes mens confidence to the point where they don't even know who they are anymore. This ultimately doesn't work for both sides, on the woman's side she just isn't attracted to males that are like this because they don't take charge, they dont know who they are, they actually feel different deep down inside to how they act which makes them inauthentic. For the man it doesn't work because he's going to try and hold this persona in the face of less and less attraction from his woman. A word on 'bad boys', traditionally seen as having a criminal element, not caring about anything, being kind of reckless, but maybe with a heart of gold, at least a suspected one. A youthful bad boy is more often than not also not very confident deep down, they just have a better persona, it's like they know what's attractive to women on a surface level and are using that persona as it works. It gives the impression of authenticity because actions are taken regardless of consequence, women my see it as such, but it's really just a play of authenticity. But these can not really translate into long term fulfillment for the guy or any girl he gets with because it is really a facade and he would need to build up true authenticity to get past it. Think Danny Zuko in Grease, hes seen as the cool guy but he hasn't got the authenticity to even come out and say he likes a girl. So that brings it to actual authenticity, this is what every girl says they want but have to actually be very well developed themselves to handle. The truth with this is that although you want it you may not like hearing these types of truths that you'd hear from an authentic person. Like you might not like the idea that he puts his happiness before your happiness, you might not like that he tells you upfront he doesn't see himself being with you long term, that he dote on you and call you honey and all that stuff. But because you're so attracted to authenticity you will always want to be with him because it gives you an experience of actual reality instead of this role playing most do. The dilemma that you have is that you want authentic but an authentic person will not be how you want them. If you want a top level authentic person you will only be his first option if you truly understand who they are and what they want and become that person that will truly enhance their lives. A lot of women expect or feel that they deserve a top level just because, that's fine you can have your standards but reality is if it's truly a top level guy he most likely won't choose you just because, you have to become a top level woman by his standards.

I dont think his view is difficult to understand, you're seeing something that you don't really care about make money so you want a piece of it simply because you want money. This isn't a judgement and you can do this but it just doesn't usually work out well, people that follow trends are always a few steps behind because they're always looking for the next big thing. Most financial analysts will tell you that following trends will not lead to anything and probably loss. If you want to make money try and find things you care about or are at least good at and go from there. Don't just look for things that are doing well and think how can I manipulate to get some money out of this space. Or do that and let us know the results.

Hey everyone, ive just posted a new episode of my business/entrepreneur podcast series. I get the question of should i do an online course a lot, in fact someone asked me just before i did the episode which inspired me to talk about it. So if its something youve thought about these are my thoughts on it. Ive also got other episodes which talk about how i made 6 figures on Amazon and giving general advice on how to make money online (Also would appreciate it if you liked, reposted and shared, would help get the info out there, if you like it of course lol) -

Thank you bro that means a lot to me and yes its something i noticed in the business sector and in some way tried to address. There are a lot of people who make money just from becoming a personality and selling courses rather than actual business, which is a massive problem as it basically takes advantage of people just trying to better themselves. But anyway ive got some new podcasts recorded so ill get them up soon, keep doing your thing bro

Excellent stuff bro. I think your advice can apply to people of all ages as well, Ive noticed a lot of people have a core belief that certain things are just not possible, i really believe if this can be challenged by the person and they just start something they will learn and progress so much. Me personally i do like business but would like to incorporate more things that im passionate about like psychology, coaching, sports and discover new things as well, the journey never ends.

lol to be honest i didnt even know those pods existed for students, but yeah theres always someone taking advantage and putting their profit before the people but I dont think you or we have to do that. For example if these type of things are happening, there maybe avenues to supply something somewhat ethical. But yeah i was more talking about dorm rooms on campuses, here in the UK i think you can buy them and rent them to students although i need to look into that.

I see what youre saying, this is the case for cities definitely and has been a real problem, which in some cases has brought a lot of regulation from the local councils. What im talking about specifically is very touristic areas where a big chunk of the economy is based on tourism. For example my parents run a holiday rental company in a small beach town called mojacar in spain, the population is only 5000 and most people who live there are involved in the tourism industry or supplying some sort of service for locals. If you bought there youre not really taking away someone elses place or jacking up prices as there are other options to live in other towns close by. Another idea that ive come across is buying a hotel room or a student accommodation, these things are helpful to the everyday person without taking advantage or at least you dont have to take advantage. But i agree in general that there should be more schemes to own at least one house but like @datamonster said there does have to be a balance, the argument now is that its probably to weighted toward the investor rather than the person so that needs to be addressed definitely.

If you worried about ethics, which i feel similarly, there are options to do real estate in such a way. You could do holiday rentals, so buy a place that is in a popular tourist area (when things get back to "normal") and rent that out per week or even per day on airbnb or a local property management company. This way its not so much a necessity for the people renting and you can make good income because weekly or monthly rentals are higher. Theres also rental of retail & commercial space, office space etc etc. You could also buy, renovate and then sell on, in this the money is made on the renovation, so you buy a place thats seen better days, fix it up and flip for a profit. This helps buy putting more eligible properties on the market, you could even sell at a reasonable price to first time buyers if you want to go the whole ethical way. The option on stocks, which ive done myself, is to invest in etfs like renewable energy. Quite a few of these around and they usually hold stake in all the major players around, this is slightly more of a gamble as who knows what will happen, but i think renewable energy will be the main source of energy in the relatively near future.