Consept

I disagree, i think understanding comes from learning the language of the other person. Keep in mind im not saying that a woman should be masculine or a man feminine, im saying that they should be aware of both polarities within themselves and also that they should understand the others perspective. Its like if I dont understand why my woman acts in an emotional way when shes feeling overwhelmed, i might demonise her behaviour instead of understanding it. Conversely if my woman doesnt understand my tendency to make a logical choice when she thinks its an emotional one, then we're doomed. Also there are different levels of masculine and feminine in different people, its important to be able to gauge this on both sides to work out a good fit. Its often not as simple as saying well im a man and thats masculine and youre a woman so thats feminine. Some women need an overly masculine dude, some women not so much, its very subjective.

Ah man why'd I have to be too handsome 😩 For real though, I think a lot of guys problem with women is because men can be over logical and so as women decide, at least in the initial phase, whether theyre going to accept a man's advances, men need to know its on them to learn how to speak the 'emotional language'. Having said that women can also be overly reliant on their emotions and feelings to make sense of the world, which can then affect the relationship negatively if they're not able to speak the 'logical language' of men. So essentially I'm saying there has to be a balance where both sexes embrace they're opposite polarity within themselves. In that way it can be much easier to understand and communicate with the other side. A big problem with ideologies like red pill is that they are 100% logic and they believe that women are stupid because they don't operate from logic. So they attempt to logic the female into their way of thinking so they can have power over them in the masculine realm. This can work but eventually women will feel the strain, which is why a lot of red pill guys don't have healthy relationships. It also exists on the other side with things like female dating strategies which is toxic femininity

OK yeah I understand, thanks for your perspective

I get you, I think in general if either sex wants a solid, fulfilling, loving relationship, strategies will not work long term. As men we seem to have this idea that we need strategies for a relationship. Strategies can work for men and women but only temporarily ie for men if they just want short term sexual encounters. Out of personal curiosity, do you have any insights on non-monogamy? I just got out of a relationship but I'm kind of enjoying the freedom although I'm wondering how sustainable it is and if I'm just wasting others time, even though I am being honest. I think I have an avoidant attachment style which I'm working getting to secure. Sorry don't mean to selfishly derail the topic lol

I don't think that's strategies though, it's more compromise. Let's say a woman has certain needs and she wants you to fulfill them but nags if you don't, then you have to communicate to each whether you the man can fulfil those needs or if those needs and what she wants you to do are reasonable. You may decide you don't want or can't fulfil those needs and then the relationship won't work (this goes both ways). If you just say don't nag and be peaceful she might be repressing, genuine needs that are easy to fulfil for the sake of the man's peace. This just doesn't work in practice. On the 'prize' talk I honestly think both sexes should believe they are the 'prize', meaning they should have confidence and self-respect for themselves. How that looks for woman is being selective and choosing a guy that they are sure really cares for them. For guys it could be choosing a women that cares for them but that they are also compatible with, a lot of guys will just choose a girl based on looks and then try and make everything else work after the fact, which can lead to unfulfilling relationships.

Yeah i agree, its interesting because this dynamic exists on the male side as well. So a guy will either not recognise or ignore his instinct that a girl he likes is not really into him, then he'll do things that he believes will get her to like him. What he does depends on what hes learnt through media or wherever, if its rom-coms he'll be the typical 'good guy' and maybe be really nice to her, buy her presents, give her all his time etc. Obviously this is known as the friendzone, the female equivalent is the fuckzone. So it is the same in that a guy needs to be true to himself and only really pursue girls that he feels are genuinely into him. All in all 'strategies' are essentially ways to convince someone who doesnt like you as much you want them to, to like you. They rarely work because at some point the mask will drop and if you feel that youre not good enough for the person, you will become insecure.

Youre obviously much more intelligent than me and I'm amazed at your ability to sum up the whole free will argument in less than 3 lines. But try again with your explanation. So far what ive understood is that 1+1=2 and not something else which would be chaotic, therefore there is free will, is that right?

Just my 2 pence and its interesting thinking from a female perspective, I think for a man to stay, first of all he himself has to be in the mindset of genuinely wanting a long term relationship. So 'female game' starts from this point which is selection, through the courting phase she has to ascertain whether he actually wants to settle down and be with her long term. I think a lot of the time women know that the guy is not really looking for that by they try and keep him around with sex or by demonstrating 'wifey' characteristics. Some guys will settle down for a particular girl but she needs to work out whether he actually feels strongly for her. This can get slightly confused if they're having sex and a lot of women believe that if he's having sex with her regularly, he loves her but this is rarely the case. Guys will definitely talk a lot of bullshit to keep a girl around. Once she's passed this hurdle and is sure that he's at least up for a long term relationship with the right woman, all she can really do is be herself and see if that connection can grow and they fall in love. There will be traits that will signal that she would be a good long term mate, but this is very dependent on the guy. For me personally it'll be things like being a person worthy of respect, high emotional intelligence, ability to navigate conflict well, dealt with previous trauma or at least working on it, good at communication, honest, fair, able to take criticism. There's many more probably.

1+1=2 would be an example of no free will, as in something outside you is fact and you have no will over it

phew glad we sorted that out

If any woman is into you it's a positive, I think you're problem is you can't keep your confidence and inevitable shit tests when you actually like them back

Start a webcam business and use the loverboy method to recruit, then brag about it online. Then theyll see how much of a badboy you are

I mean it's probably worse to repress, just ask the Catholic Church

My thinking aligns quite a lot with you on this subject. Every human action can probably be brought back to survival and low consciousness, why do we eat? survival. Why do work? survival. Why do we have relationships? survival and so on. But my overall point was its not black and white where and activity is either low consciousness or high, its that there are degrees of consciousness within everything you do. For example eating good food in silence and enjoying and experiencing every mouthful is obviously a higher conscious way than shovelling Big macs and fries in your mouth in a crowded Macdonalds restaurant. It seems like a bit of a cop out to say, everything is survival so im not gonna do anything and just be in solitude. I think sex though there is the potential to hurt someone, so there has to be a real effort made to mitigate that. But i also feel that if you are of high consciousness and this is a concern for you, you will naturally make the situation as ethical as you can.

That many girls then yeah, it's almost factory level. But in general if you're open and honest in a compassionate way, would you agree that is an ethical way of approaching it? At the end of the day there are many women who would appreciate the choice to be with you even if it is just short term

Physical attraction would be incorporated into the connection though, that would be part of a deeper connection. If you didn't like the girl on any level except physical then that's different that would be shallow. There maybe hot girls you meet that you don't think would work long term or don't have the depth and so you don't pursue. Again there is a low conscious version of that which you've outlined, which would be status climbing etc. But then there's also higher level where you learn about the other person and build a good connection with them. I started a practice in my life of just talking to more people, some you click with and some you don't but I'm not trying to get anything out of the relationships, I'm more just enjoying time with them. Even amongst people I don't think ordinary people are friends with each other because of money or status, most of the time they just like hanging out. Maybe in competitive industries and cities what you're saying happens more.

I think it's a spectrum like with anything, there's low level pick up which would be using strategies and saying whatever you need to say to get sex from someone and then there's higher level which would be something like being authentic and building genuine connections with people. As an activity though where you're literally going out of your house to attempt to acquire sex that would probably be low consciousness. It's kinda like going out your house to try and convince people to give you money, probably worse even.

I agree and it's what I was alluding to when I said God's will. The question of free will implies there is an individual will that we each have separately, which of course as you say can't be possible, as the individual itself is an illusion. Gods will although we may have access to, its not individual. God's will for example might be to be loving so that would be applicable to all. This will also might not be the best choice for the individual but would be better for the whole. But yes I agree with you anyway I was just simplifying it down to whether we have individual free will

Promiscuity can be attractive but just for short term mating, but the traits needed for short term dont really work for long term

'Good' in this context is a relative term, as in 60 years ago the thinking that interracial relationships were wrong was commonplace and 'good', but obviously thinking changes and evolves to more 'advanced' thinking. Sex positivity is a made up terms just like any other term but it doesnt equate to it being meaningless, it obviously means sex without the judgement that previously existed around it.

I'd argue its not necessarily as cool as it was for a guy just to randomly sleep with a lot of women. In reality a successful man hasn't really got time to be doing cold approach and trying to get as many women as possible, it's more of a young boys mindset, as in a 16 year old will probably be seen as cool amongst his friends if he sleeps around, but that's probably just cos he can and his friends find it hard. Also recently there has been more negative connotations put on men for doing it by women, calling them fuck boys etc. I don't think guys for the most part see someone who's fucking constantly as more of a man, maybe before though. Also in reality it's only 5% of men and women who really promiscuous, most aren't either by choice or because they can't. I do agree with you, I never understood why guys in school labelled girls as sluts and whores, I always thought 'if you call them that, no ones gonna have a chance' lol

Good vid for all you guys complaining about hypergamy

I was more talking about why its so prominent in the west, but yes other cultures have the same ideas, specifically the muslim world. There are many cultures that are not monogamous and have never been but have had to adapt because of religious influence, for example many countries and tribes in Africa werent really monogamous but adapted when they were colonised by the west. You could make the argument that these societies were more successful previous to the colonisation, but obviously there are a lot more factors in play than just monogamy. To argue that monogamy is optimal is hard to say as well, in African tribes they took the view that it takes a village to raise a child which in which case its not that important to have just one stable, monogamous relationship as everyone is involved in child rearing. In our society the child is completely dependent on the strength of the relationship between 2 people, which is actually quite shaky, when you consider that 57% of marriages end in divorce because of infidelity. Also the marriages that dont end can sometimes be incredibly toxic environments for children, a lot if not most people i know, didnt have the best situation growing up with 2 parents. This isnt to say that it cant work, but i think the idea of shaming people that dont fall into it, is probably not healthy. This is not a new phenomenon as well, sometimes we like to paint the picture of past generations being idyllic, but prostituion services are not a new thing. I dont actually believe more people naturally skew toward monogamous relationships, at the very least it would be hard to ascertain whether thats true because of how much its baked into society. As I said in tribes in Africa today the idea of monogamy barely makes sense

First of all I dont think your intentions were bad or that you planned on grooming her to have sex. What seems to have happened is that you were working in a job where you had responsibility for young people and (this happens a lot), a young girl developed a crush on you. Now the issue is because you seem to have confidence, self esteem issues or were just going through a bad time, you entertained this crush, as in you enjoyed the attention and encouraged it to go on. The reality is you shouldve stopped it from the start, because you wouldve realised that this is something that can happen and you have to have that barrier. Because you didnt youve let it get to the stage where shes now heavily invested and likes you even more and youre considering taking it further with her. Whether its your confidence or whatever, there is no way to look at this other than you are taking advantage of her, you may not be consciously but you definitely are as you are the adult. She has no experience with the emotions that shes feeling, she has never had a relationship before, so you are in the position of power fully. If you were to do something with her, people would recognise that when you are in a position of power over minors, you will take advantage of it by having sex with them. This will decimate your reputation, you will not be allowed to work with young kids again, period. You are doing this to sort out your confidence issues but it will actually make things so much worse when you are ostracised because of this. I agree with your brothers gf in that it is 100% your responsibility to cut this off for the sake of both of you. Dont listen to people in this thread saying its legal, that is not the issue here. Personally ive actually dealt with this situation myself where young girls have come on to me whilst I was working in youth services, it is flattering but its something I had to cut off straight away, I had in my head the boundaries. One girl did add me on facebook, which I even felt uncomfortable about accepting and in retrospect Im not sure if id do now. But we didnt message or anything like that.

I think the judgement of women that sleep around comes from the christian, moral idea that we've had through history about protecting a women's 'purity'. Main reason for this is we wanted society to be 'better' and that meant one man for one woman raising kids together. This is an outside way of organising society for the potential collective good. However, it can be in direct conflict with our own human nature that might tell us to sleep with more than one person. Even in sexually restrictive societies, people still cheat, have crazy sex etc, they just do it in the shadows. The sexual force is very hard to suppress. So in modern day, there is more sexual freedom however the judgement can still remain. But I don't think it makes sense to judge someone for something that is natural to them. Either someone genuinely wants to be sexually free or they have some kind of trauma that's pushing them to do it, either way judgement doesn't make sense. The person either needs help or understanding. Also it is their choice, there maybe consequences to the choice, for example of you are used to be sexually promiscuis, it could be hard to all of sudden change to monogamous. I also think a lot of guys judge because they want the girl, they see a girl who sleeps around but they are not able to sleep with them and so they hate them for it. They also hate the fact that they do t have the option to sleep around. A man who sleeps around is similar, but probably doesn't receive the same judgement a woman would.