Sugarcoat

I was losing that sense of “something existing” (the boundary of self and other). Reality is to me “something” , duality. So it was like I was approaching no duality, no reality But you could call reality everything

I wouldn’t say it’s classic. I think most people who have awakenings have them without dissolving so much of the structure of self. It seems I was close to a sort of awakening Yea maybe I was approaching a nothingness, but upon arrival at it, it would reveal itself to be everything. Maybe Thanks for the suggestions

Yea it seems to me like the sense of self can drop even if the structure hasn’t been dissolved. Because my self still feels absolutely real, even if it’s very “thin/small”. So that realness could go away at any time, regardless of how much has dissolved.

It’s not a scary idea to entertain, it’s not like I’m unwilling to accept it. I recognize that when I think about my brain, it’s a thought about my brain. I don’t have proof of my brains existence i don’t feel like I chose my thoughts : thoughts just arise, so when I imagine myself, when I have self referential thoughts, I think to myself: maybe those thoughts create or at least contribute to the sense of self? And what/who is thinking those thoughts? You could say I’m thinking those thoughts, but I don’t feel like I’m making a conscious choice in choosing to have those thoughts, those thoughts about myself come spontaneously: that’s why I say it’s my brain imagining myself.

I googled mahasamadhi and it seems it’s when the consciousness leaves the body, I don’t think this is close to that If self dissolution means end of suffering then I’m for it You have a normal amount of ego

Feeling strongly separated from others can come from a strong self awareness of your own self. So it was for me, as a child before I gradually dissolved myself (not all the way) I felt scarily separate, it was disturbing and that awareness was a self awareness. If you’re more outwardly focused you might be in more flow state and forget yourself more thus feel less separate

@LastThursday It never goes fully away. Or maybe it does but I just don’t notice those tiny moments of absence. But it does fluctuate how big it is

@Breakingthewall You got that experience part down that’s the part I need to get down

@LastThursday a little bit of the self reappeared (but not in the way it was before as in layers of mind, but some sense of time, space and other etc reappeared) It was positive when I had “breakthroughs” because it felt like a release of tension, (the self is lowkey this tension). But other than that pretty neutral. I think the self has to do with survival maybe it was created to help body survive I don’t know though My difficulties is that I lack emotion, libido and major joy. I’m almost completely “neutral” all the time, very calm and unaffected by circumstances, it’s a bit zen almost. Sometimes I can get “low” because I feel a disconnect from myself, as a consequence of all this. But other than that my life continues normally. The self and other/rest is one boundary, when that boundary starts to dissolve sense of distance starts to dissolve too (you could almost visualize it). Time and continuity connected to your sense of reality and personal timeline which is connected to sense of self

It’s mental problem. It’s quite unusual . I’m healthy in my body tho

Have no libido like me😊problem solved

Yea work on getting that basic mental health in order.

They said minimal intake of those lol

Hahaha well I don’t have that directly, what I do know of is for example the Nordic nutrition recommendations 2023 which is based on a big body of research which recommends : quote “ A predominantly plant-based diet high in vegetables, fruits, berries, pulses, potatoes and whole grains. Ample intake of fish and nuts. Moderate intake of low-fat dairy products. Limited intake of red meat and poultry. Minimal intake of processed meat, alcohol, and processed foods containing high amounts of fats, salt and sugar. “ https://www.norden.org/en/publication/nordic-nutrition-recommendations-2023 But I think everything can be up for questioning even science.

I don’t think science says good quality meat is awful. But I think it says it’s not good to eat it exclusively. And gaining weight is about calories . That’s my materialistic science view which I do trust in these matters

Science seems to support a plant preDOMINANT diet, so not necessarily a vegan diet because it still includes animal products. If you don’t care about potential disease then yea it’s not an issue…

So you trust your feeling more than common science?

Beautiful Do you just write straight from direct experience or is it also inspired from work you’ve read? It’s cool

Omg drop this idea that you need to be some mega actualized being with years of “doing the work” to get laid. Losers get laid every day , it happens. I think the simplest way is just to socialize and expose yourself to people in various environments and there you’ll find women and sooner or later it will be a match, someone will be willing to hook up, some self confidence is pretty basic and doesn’t necessarily need years of work. Just learn to be in flow with yourself, be relaxed and see rejection as reflection/learning opportunity instead of offense so you don’t fear it and ruin your vibe.

The fact he knows he is full of shit suggest he has some introspection, but not enough introspection to deal with/unravel that shit. It’s where most people are at in society

I kind of have depression. Lack of motivation. Pretty much no happiness . So maybe some applies to meX How has it changed you taking those things?

Haha

@Carl-Richard Why you look lowkey exactly how I imagined

Ok😊

Ok. But I feel disconnected from myself so it’s like there’s a disconnection in the transmission of dopamine, a disconnection in the pathways that it travels so it doesn’t “reach me”. That’s my theory . And it’s a result of the severe degree of self dissolution I went through You don’t have to believe me😂