Sugarcoat

What forum is that?

If we agree self is illusion. And that oneness/non duality is true. Why would reality be limited to produce only one single illusion. Might as well say why would reality be limited to only producing one single experience (the appearances you’re experiencing now, this screen, the noise etc). The illusion is the separation (I don’t know this but let’s say), so it’s this separate experience, so we can’t say “oh it’s all one because what we mean by solipsism is that there is only one universal self” , because that’s not the illusion, that’s oneness, two different things. From what I’m understanding, solipsism is talking about the limited self being only one of that kind. Because if not then it’s just another way of talking about non duality. But you could say that you only have access to your own experience/self, so from your perspective when you experience another person it’s another aspect of your singular experience. But that’s not the same as concluding there’s no illusion happening from any other perspective, in another person, just that you won’t have access to it directly. If I can feel I exist why couldn’t it happen somewhere “else” in all of infinity? I haven’t read so much of the thread just adding some thoughts hopefully I’m not just saying what’s already been concluded 100 times…

Lube?

Why does this post feel like it all boils down to you not wanting to use condom? 🤣 You can be with woman who is on birth control. I haven’t googled this but I guess with some birth control it’s safe enough to skip condom in terms of pregnancy risk Also even if she happens to get pregnant. Make sure whenever you’re with a girl, that she doesn’t want kids or that she’d never have kid if the father doesn’t want it. Maybe it feels weird to bring up if it’s just short term. It’s kinda like asking if someone is tested for std. But I mean its better than being unwanted father… If she is set on that, in worst case if she gets pregnant she’s gonna 100 % have abortion (if country allows abortion, if not then its bigger problem and stronger precautions when having sex are needed)

Eheh Thanks for the tip

I have mentioned before a interview of some guy who apparently managed to overcome (as in not experience it as suffering anymore if I remember correctly) the pain of trigeminal neuralgia through extreme mindfulness practice while he had it. Trigeminal neuralgia is considered one of the most painful conditions, causing pain some describe as 10/10. I’ve seen video of woman hysterically crying and shaking in pain. It’s something that I think about, if you transcend pain you have like unlocked a new level of freedom in life that’s like super human

Another solution is to just meditate on the toilet. My family isn’t so fond of it, but hey, they dont exist, so

Good to know

Do you allow toilet breaks? I did when I meditated for longer. Maybe it interrupts god awakening tho.

I respect the reasoning because I mean, behind the screen you might as well some mega mystic yogi who possesses an exceptionally rare psychic ability that makes you concerned that the state will find you and try to use you for experiments or something, what do i know I had to GOOGLE what tin foil hat refers to, lol

I propose experiment to test validity of your claims. Get a training watch that measures stress. If it’s not “at rest” 24/7 then I don’t believe you 😆

I feel I have to experience something significantly negative from my fellow google to care to switch Its like how people need their nearby forest to be on fire from climate change to finally care about it

Do you truly live by this or is it more a saying, an ideal?

Ok I see

What is hand orgasm? I have experienced some brain awareness too Have you practiced this, if so, wouldn’t you agree it’s “advanced skill”?

But what if your goal is to overcome something you feel is limitation so it’s actually moving you towards more freedom, or maybe you’ll say we should drop the idea of having limitation to begin with?

I did upwards an hour meditation almost every day in parts of high school and to be honest I didn’t find it much helpful in spiritual sense except for creating a temporary calming effect that was good for mind and body, but it didn’t last long I was quickly back to my normal mind later after the session. If you find yourself significantly stressed then it’s good but I have assumption that unless you’re gifted you’re gonna need a lot of more time to get it to give you spiritual transformations, deconstructions. I might be wrong but it’s an impression. Also depending on how your mind operates, when you work on every day things, it can create flow state and be partially meditative too. Like if you’re reading a bunch of material it can put your mind in concentrated state. Or if you’re cleaning you could do it with zero distraction and it can be calming. Not spiritual transformation but mental focus and calm, if it feels necessary.

It makes sense what you’re saying. Maybe I’m just strawmanning a little. But I mean a guy who has average job, average ambition, decent confidence can still get decent woman, he doesn’t have to be top top man with all things going for him like top 10% men. But yea I think confidence in particular matters a lot, maybe more so than career and money.

But do you really think most women want the top guys really, I mean a bit “above” them is one thing, but if a woman is average or below in her “development” etc, then maybe some of her ego feels insecure if she feels they guy is “too good for her”, she might feel inadequate, or that she can’t match him. I don’t know.

Good post I might add more thoughts later but this came to mind. When I’m inauthentic it feels wrong and it bugs my mind I don’t get how people can do it for so long, repeatedly with different people and still gain significant satisfaction. Being authentic is one of my primary sources of satisfaction, or maybe it’s more that it feels like a bare minimum for me, connecting with someone on false basis wouldn’t be able to compensate for that for me Not trying to sound like angel or something im not that, it’s just a sensitivity to oneself I think.

I don’t really understand what that need for extra privacy is about, that goes beyond what regular sites like safari or whatever provide. Maybe I’m just so unaware of what goes on online. Is it about like the Internet gathering data about your preferences and adapting ads to it, or is it a concern about private info leak, or ?

I think a healthy expression of this desire would be to seek out girlfriend and/or sex. It doesn’t have to be explicit like going out and approaching, it could be just socializing with people you encounter in life, school work etc and when it’s a female you asses the vibe and flirt if you feel interest. If you for example use porn a lot it could create addictive tendencies, also certain social media is very sexualized so it could strengthen it too. So i think it’s to be used sparingly, as long you feel it’s in your control and it doesn’t feel like it’s numbing you to real life. Also certain problems like mental health issues, emotional things, can make us more likely to resort to quick pleasure to feel ease. So if you generally work on trying to be healthy mentally then a healthy libido would usually follow. Although some naturally have higher libido so it’s not always dysfunctional but it could become problem in similar way as some people have higher appetite and can get fat easier. So it requires self regulation an awareness to find balance

One thing I’ve noticed about a lot of people is that they seem quite engaged with what they do in the moment (especially if it’s interesting like travelling) Meanwhile i can be there and feel like im just neutrally observing what’s going on and not feeling engaged nor interested in it. So when people talk about what’s relevant to a specific current situation, you might think it’s just them sticking to what’s “comfortable” to ask in order to strike a convo, and that might happen sometimes, it probably does! But also at the same think I think significant amount of people are genuinely interested in the questions they’re asking you. What seems “fake “ to you might just be an “average” mind being “average”. People are in a way genuinely average it’s not just all insecurity. I’m drawing broad generalization here ofc asking “basic “ questions doesn’t automatically make you “average” and it’s not even clear what that term means I think we shouldn’t concern ourselves too much about how others are unless it’s harmful and focus more on how we are. If we are being authentic or not. So if you are bored of small talk you have the opportunity to be authentic and to lead the convo in another direction and see if the person is open to that. It might lead to them opening up too. I think making a rule that you’re gonna stop something very common socially “asking questions” is a bit too far and sounds like you’re just reacting egoically to situations. But I think it’s worth to evaluate yourself, how you are socially , and try to align that more to how you wanna be, more authentically , even if it’s radically against the norm (might be scary) for your own fulfillment and depth of life. But be careful to not be swept away by som egoic reactions that come in the moment …

Our regular exams are not multiple choice in our country. Rather you answer with text or calculations

If we consider sleep, nutrition, weekly exercise and some socializing as non negotiable for well being, then my impression is that you could fit all those things into your schedule and still become relatively rich by being ultra disciplined and using the rest of the time (as much you need) to use your mind and working smart and hard. People think that working a shit ton, in fast and challenging ways is automatically stressful, no! It’s not inherently stressful! It’s how your mind does it. If your basic survival is tied to it (like you’ll end up on street if you fail, ok exaggeration but you get the point) then yes it’s harder to not stress. Also if you’re like many that create this mental attachment and especially identity around being this person with money and who “ succeeds” then yes it’s also gonna be realllly hard to not stress! So it’s gonna affect your well being. But if you drop those two factors then you can actually use your mind a shit ton and fast without stressing. And you’ll see well being is possible simultaneously Call this a foolish example, but pretty much all my life I’ve had almost excellent grades. For example in my recent exam in uni I got second highest score out of all the 50 people in class. But guess what, I was never stressing about it🤷🏻‍♀️ I am a weirdo, I actually find studying somewhat meditative! It’s about your mind, not the work.