Sugarcoat

It’s not unbearable as of yet luckily

When I tried 5 Meo dmt (small dose) I experienced a kind of emptiness/nothingness. There was not really anything positive about it But I am open to the fact that it might have been the dose I took so I could have different experience if I tried again and yes it’s something I’d like to try I am not self less. It’s just that I have a very small self because most of it dissolved for me In my past : I could get attached to a crush I had, since my self almost dissolved I don’t get attached to anyone anymore I used to be attached to looking a certain way. I am not attached to my appearance anymore, that disappeared when my self started to dissolve I used to have social anxiety and I was attached to having a confident, charming self image. Now that’s all gone I used to have as a child chronic existential anxiety, that’s all gone Instead of all of this, which disappeared when I dissolved layers to my self: now different problems arose I barely feel I exist That creates a kind of emptiness Its almost like walking around in a constant void (almost, not completely because I’m not completely gone) It is like everything is a bit hollow and lacks richness Makes sense? If my sense of self was 100% dissolved maybe this problem would resolve Thats amazing you found a reason! Yes it could be worse after death so better stay here so long we can somehow handle it

I feel my condition is due to brain wiring so I’d have to rewire brain to change it

Bipolar sounds so tough! Ive never fit in either! I have always been very quiet i have no attempts either! I think its because I haven’t reached my absolute limit yet Stress can be tough! Luckily I don’t have a lot of that. What I have instead is this severe emptiness, dpdr(kinda), and slight constant depression It’s definitely hard to keep going sometimes!

The first point is legit! What if there is hell? We never know. I have a hard time with this idea of “it will pass” because I’ve been in this state for almost two years now I actually struggle a lot with my ability to enjoy social interactions

I don’t have unbearable pain either. I think that would be the last straw for me if I had it on top of my mental issues I am also kinda thinking “I can endure this for some more time” and it can keep me going. I haven’t reached my limit yet I am chronically in this “ill” mental state but it’s hard to accept

It’s when life feels never good those thoughts come

I’m not blocked.

Yea it’s like I have stereo type in my head how some US women are but I haven’t encountered it in Sweden Also I don’t meet a lot of people so it’s hard to make conclusions

Omg have we became a joke on the forum @Schizophonia

You mean you need something to look forward to?

You mean you need something to look forward to?

The pain of dying is one aspect stopping me yes It’s like all I know is what’s going on presently so if I can’t handle that then I don’t really care what comes after death so the thought of it doesn’t prevent me I find

So maybe I’m not the only one. User purpletree also mentioned getting those thoughts when life gets hard Especially if it lasts a long time and seems chronic But I still feel weak sometimes. Because I sometimes hear stories worse than mine and wonder how they get through it Thank you One aspect of my problems makes it so I barely can enjoy social interactions so I tend not to talk to people most of the time…

Do you think the brain is involved in enlightenment?

You have developed a strong mindset then. Good for you

Good for you … Even if life for most isn’t like religious hell people go through a kind of hell still. Chronic diseases etc

Didn’t you just describe your life as constant suffering? Sounds like hell to me

My post was a joke. I would never voluntarily torture myself I don’t have the guts to do that, very few people have The video I mentioned is example of extreme suffering too. But if it’s possible to transcend severe pain it should be possible to transcend milder pain or mental suffering. So maybe you could apply the same technique he uses to your own suffering, whatever degree of severity it is

If consciousness/awareness is reality then what do we call the personal consciousness/awareness that the person possesses and is aware of itself (subject) and the world (object)?

I’m not talking from my own experience lol I just have heard stories about it. It’s extremely rare and maybe not even possible for most This for example: Man overcame pain from trigeminal neuralgia (aka suicide disease) through extreme mindfulness practice

I see. So it’s like if you can scare yourself to the point where it feels you’re actually experiencing it you can then learn to accept it

I’m being honest, I could force myself to meditate for a long time (I tried in the past 1 hour a day but it seems not enough to produce mystical experience for me) but I don’t have strong desire to do it so I lack motivation for it. But I’d like to try psychedelics more. Do you think that’s enough for the openness you talk about?

What am I according to that radar? You can probably smell my self from a mile away

I don’t meet many people but for example in high school (I’m still young so it’s not too long ago) I went to a high school which required high grades to enter, and I saw many women I’d consider pretty mature, not non emotional like me but somewhat balanced. Maybe it’s a difference depending on education level you go to Im going to uni soon so there I’ll see more women…. I’ll see what I see