Sugarcoat

Yes you do and that’s fine. As I said you can start when you’re alone and when that urge hits just follow it . Listening to music that’s danceable and that you like ofc . No rules whatsoever. Doesn’t matter how it looks. Because the thing is also dancing isn’t really fun when you don’t do it in a way that feels natural for you, It’ll just feel forced. Do you have sense of rhythm at least? I’m not sure but most people have and then maybe a small minority don’t for some reason

Yes I understand that . I meant it more in a way of dropping the ideas you have about dancing and simply following the urge to dance in the body , but if you don’t even experience that urge , that spark like the moderator above said, then there can be different reasons for that I have had significant social anxiety myself for years in the past so I know how it is to feel painfully awkward simply existing . I can sympathize with that. But dancing always came natural . I find, the more deeply in touch with my body I get, the better I get at dancing interestingly enough Leo is right here. I can guess. You’re stuck in your head, disconnected from your body so now when you try to do something that is very natural for the body, you approach it in this overthinking way because youre just stuck in your head so you do everything from your head. This is the problem here. Practice and follow some instructions all you want but that’s like going to college without finishing high school . Backwards using dancing to help with social anxiety at parties sure. But if you do it with some idea in your head of some specific dance moves and rules to it, you’re just feeding the very problem itself. And you seem to pity yourself , like oh poor me. I don’t mean to be rude here but that’s the vibe. It’s not helping you, just feeding this mental story about yourself even more It truly is like that I would say. If you can’t feel the urge to dance in your body and simply follow it without instructions then there’s no point in doing anything else as that is like the basics If the social anxiety is so strong stopping you from even relaxing in your body at all then forget the dancing and do some work on that id suggest and stop pitying yourself digging yourself into your own suffering even deeper

you’re way overthinking this. you can start when you are alone you put on some music you like you feel that urge to move in your body . You just allow your body to do what it naturally feels like doing. Different people have different dance moves that comes naturally This is foundation

Wow I didn’t know that … thank you for enlightening me ?

Which part to understand , what it is about for me or for others because the others part is what I’m not understanding ? that’s why I’m asking you

Get your shit together, get a grip on yourself and your life and you won’t care about others because you are in full control over yourself and trust in yourself to be able to create something good for yourself independent of what others are doing ??????????????????????????????????????????✌?✌?✌?✌?✌?✌?????????

Ok what is it about then ??

Haha this was more fun to me to read than to party?some good points i sometimes think, damn, for some people clubbing/partying is their “it” , wonder what kind of existence that is . Id say that I bet for a lot of these people, that is their authentic self , at least how it feels for them. So it might seem purely superficial for you but for many of them that is genuinely how they are. the women part. Sexualizing yourself/making yourself hot to yourself isn’t some invitation/want to be sexually objectified by others when you’re out and about, just a point. it’s Two different things I don’t see the reason to be concerned about all of this tho. You trying to save society or something?

i immediately related to your comment before where you described your experience, so same. I dont really understand why though, ive been contemplating it quite a bit from time to time trying to understand so ill see where that goes yea ofc people are different.

I have never really dealt with anything other than my inside. So its not about conflict between internal and external, all the conflict has happened within me. Is what i am saying. And this is not purely a mindset, its what my experience has been pretty much all my life. interestingly enough, it seems to me that most people are moving in the general trajectory of seeing how more and more of their conflict is internal. "embracing both equally without barriers". so you tryna dissolve that barrier? isnt that barrier internal too? trying to not have any problem with the outside? isnt the problem simply a reaction happening internally so once again just dealing with your internal? trying to embrace your internal? isnt this also internal ? interesting take you have nonetheless yes id say that too. Id just add that the sense of self and other seems to be deeper than psychological, like energy, presence. Maybe possible for that to die also, then its about what one is personally aiming for. yes you have a point here. Theres a difference between understanding on an very abstract level vs how it would look in a persons life, the processes they go through etc. I bet that what youre saying reflects something in your personal experience. Even if someone doesnt get it, there is something special that happens within us when we try to put structure to things in words, I find. mm i can see. When you mean embracing those differences, you mean that youve had problems with them or? Like being bothered by feeling "stuck" in your persepctive or something? im just asking you can answer what u want It was extrodinary, yet at the same time "subtle" and nothing special. So I have some theories. I believe everyone is going through this process of awakening in their way and pace. A sort of unraveling. This process seems internal for me. So the reason it happens faster for one person and slower for someone else depends on how much they go in vs out. So most people are kind of stable in something in between, they look to both inside and outside. Since it is an internal process, the more you look to the inside the faster. Something like that. yes it could because sometimes we just explain things differently but there migght be more parallels than it seems. yes the way one descrbibes and understands ones own expeirenes can always evolve no you dont give that vibe of pushing anything and that is great that you dont care if i belive it or not! for me its not so much about belief thats another thing i dont really get about people this obsession with what they believe or dont believe (not saying for you i mean people in general here)

Ever since early childhood I’ve noticed this tendency in people to worry about outside situations and other people. Now I’m specifically referring to this tendency regarding the dynamic between men and women. It might sound obvious. It’s not a new concept. It has been mentioned over and over and over again by various people and especially in these types of communities that are about focusing more on yourself. But I find that even if people are familiar with this tendency on some level, they still engage in it. I see it all the time. It’s hilarious to me. This is literally a SELF actualization/spirituality forum and people are still doing it all the time I cannot…. Are you not aware of the tension in your system that is being maintained when you are engaging in those thoughts worrying about what women are doing or vice versa what men are doing, the dating scene or the world and other people in general for that matter? And how this tension and those thoughts are completely independent from the outside situation and other people so completely unnecessary and not beneficial to you. But I guess people can’t separate the two so they genuinely feel like they are dealing with something outside themselves. But as I said those are two different things. All I see people dealing with when they are engaging in this tendency is their own minds and emotions etc…. Aka aspects of yourself. And that is great news!! Because those things are directly here and now. Thoughts are now, tension is now. Fear and anger is now. Right here. Nothing needs to change about the outside for all of that to be dealt with. Actually not really needed to be dealt with at all in a way to be dissolved. Now you might say I’m doing the same here. Actually no I am not. I have ZERO problem with this tendency people have. I can’t really say what I’m doing here ? but I can say that it is NOT coming from that place i am referring to here. Now feel free to keep maintaining tension in your system by arguing with me about this if you would please ?? And if nobody engages then that’s a good sign people are focusing on themselves??Or actually not I believe a lot of people are fooling themselves, they believe they are focused on themselves but aren’t really

Thank you Ajax!!

That’s feeding the worry, because it really is its own independent thing. Ironically you get less attractive to women with this type of worry, which you might know already, not that that is the reason to try to resolve it , but still. It’s like a cycle. You probably already had this insecurity around attracting women before, then you get a girl, now you feel good temporarily, but since it’s based on her being with you , if she leaves you’re hurting. Then you feed the worry again, thinking the solution is to have options but then you’re stuck in the same cycle, if you get a girl you’ll feel good temporarily but if she leaves, which is out of your control you’ll feel shitty again. It’s a very unstable thing to base such happiness on. all that meditation you talk about in your profile flew out the window now didn’t it? Since you say you have ASD. I also have such tendencies and I had problems with feeling very stuck in my head so if that’s the case maybe take some deep breaths and do things that could help you ground you deeper in your body to calm the mind. For me body awareness has helped a lot.

haahha whaat. I do relate to thoughts being seemingly outside of location and time in a way but still internal. Internal meaning mind, emotions, bodily sensations , those things you are aware of and others arent. Things connected to you/your body. no problem! thats what this forum is for ! the mind is damn tricky i wonder about it too a lot I had many minor shifts prior to the, what i would call awakening, which was the major one. In particular towards the last period before the awakening I experienced that my mind was dominating my reality. It felt like my mind was my only sense of grasp on reality. I had this very intense self-repeating, loopy stream of thoughts a lot of the time. When I followed it, it was projected out and it was like my mind was no longer just in my head, but all over as a filter on reality. What i mean is, imagine you have an idea of what you need to do to get closer to what you want. This idea is contained within this stream of thoughts in your head. Then when you ~follow~ this thought, by doing the thing it shows you, suddenly this thought is no longer in your head as potential, it is projected outwardly and acts as a mental filter on reality. The more i followed my mind, the more i strenghtened it, and i was stuck in attachment to it. Quite literally, my sense of self and grounding in reality was bound to it. then the shift. I was permantently released from my mind. It was almost visual too when it happened, like having a filter on your eyes (my mind) and then you get pulled back and separated from this filter. It was not the end of the mind, or sense of self altogether, but it seemed there was this identification/attachment to this particual pattern of mind i talked about. So like a sense of self attached to a limited aspect of the mind, holding on for dear life. So ironically the mind is also constricted by this identification, because the identification ties itself to this mind and its forced to stay in a certain way and is very repetitive. im guessing maybe this is why a lot of people stay the same seemingly? Perhaps a neurological pattern tied to a sense of self, because most people seem to have a certain way of operating, a pattern that is their default. this is very abstract but im trying to understand it myself on a very general level, hope its not too hard to get a sense of

Yes. I worked as a cashier for a couple of months this last year. Both by socializing with colleagues and customers I found myself more and more comfortable with it and it got more and more natural as time went by and I had a lot of fun and some interesting experiences. id say if you do it, focus first on learning the task at hand until you get comfortable with that, don’t stress about the social part in the beginning. Then when you feel you’ve gotten it down you can focus more on the interactions. Be open, let it come naturally. You might surprise yourself by how you can be

Cashier is great for that.

no worries. Pretty much all I see humans doing falls under this category so you damn right ?

Maybe it’s not so much about the skills and knowledge but more that you broke through this barrier of fear within yourself that was the major success. And now trying to translate it to women it’s the same thing there

Sounds like it would be some aesthetic style I’m down for it ?

So if you could choose , would you rather feel like you have options or , for this worrying to stop ?

You sad about this mostly or her specifically?

I would say no fap is a more so a consequence of mental clarity rather than a cause

A dream ?

Fair enough ??

I’m good ?