Sugarcoat

All in one ??

It’s like they not even interacting with the woman in front of them , but rather some generalized idea of “women” (the women they want lol) in their head lol. Like hmmmm how does this woman in front of me fit into my category of women in my head ??

You consider that “having your shit together” ?

I don’t necessarily disagree with what you say here because there is indeed a lot of men that applies to I bet but I’m not referring to those type of men I agree that ultimately we desire to be with someone sooner or later ,But doesn’t have to necessarily come from place of dependence, but something else that draws two people together. The type pf man I was referring to was something along the lines of someone with sense of self not dependent on others .

As I said it came to me very spontaneously so haven’t thought it through but something about how a “real man” doesn’t need a woman to sense himself

I don’t mean in non dual way hahah

No it doesn’t

It just came to me from nowhere seemingly . Makes sense somehow

You forget if you were never one to begin with

Yea so I feel like thinking you wanna connect with her is kinda misguided you actually first and foremost wanna break through that wall in you to get in touch with yourself deeper, like a more authentic confident you that maybe you can sense somewhere under that fear so when I asked what’s the sad part I meant that maybe you feel the sad part is missing out on her, but that actually when insecurity arises it’s showing you exactly where your problem is kinda so it’s a positive thing you are aware of it, first step to resolving it. But then it’s like hmmm how, well people function different but a lot of people stay the same for a long time, and don’t conquer their insecurities for a looong time , which is the goal , so perhaps next time it happens for you , switch it up inside you, see that moment as an opportunity to beat that fear. So using that other person to beat your fears, so it doesn’t really matter what they think of you, as long as some of that insecurity dissolves it’s a win, first priority, isn’t it so? Isn’t everything else secondary?

what’s the sad part?

Then you two have something to vibe over

Find a girl who only drinks water ?

Regardless of social code or anything else, doesn’t it feel weird for you personally that you would deal with someone drunk? You can’t really know their state for sure . For me, I don’t like alcohol either and go so far that if a drunk person flirts with me, even if i hypothetically would be interested back I would feel a responsibility and not want to engage a person in such state

nice nice Yimpa

could be this could that lol. Sure but thats note impression I got. Sounded more like some kind of fomo to me that some people seem to have these days in this personal development thing, he even alluded to this further down i like to point people to make space in their life to go deep into their own minds and to engage their own minds more actively instead of adding yet more consumption to their already probably hectic life and if youre the type who is quite productive too then youre probably filling your mind up with a lot already. before you add deepen what you already got...

A man could be very masculine and have no problem with femininity too if it’s coming from authentic place and higher ego development, self awareness

It’s a very deep topic with many layers id have to really sit down and think about it to have much to say

Great examples

Lol ok Ajax that’s a perspective I’ve not heard before I don’t think feminine masculine division is a problem it’s more human developmental level overall that is problem and is what shapes how this division expresses itself in society and how destructive it is, something like that

Maladaptive daydreaming is ~symptom~ of a type of mind and other factors . Treating it like a problem is a waste of effort, much more effective to focus on healing overall and changing everything around it for the better and it will naturally lessen. no I’d say it’s quite the opposite something is most effective when it’s something your body/mind wants to do naturally .

Oh yes

Yea lot to unpack

I thought about it for a minute and what came to my head : when men need to be masculine to survive they need to reject femininity within themselves and whatever you reject inside you reject outside

Daydreaming can be extremely powerful visualization that can change your body chemistry , dissolve negative identification patterns etc.