Sugarcoat

Might be true absolutely but as long as I feel real , words like that don’t manage to shake that sense unfortunately , despite being open to it

I say it once and say it again the self is its own curse period

Ok I see

I’m suffering yea, me as a sense of self. If awareness is nothing , then isn’t that the exact same as no self at all aka enlightenment ? So might as well just say “no self”

Well I do agree with the way you word it here. The thing do is that some seem to speak of this awareness as being this perfectly unbothered true self so as if your no longer capable of suffering if you awaken to yourself as it which I don’t agree with from my experience don’t know if that is even possible. Maybe only with enlightenment aka no self at all it’s possible to be perfectly unbothered right? Like I can still suffer not mentally really as before but psychically

I’ve never been without a sense of self except for maybe a brief moment one time I don’t remember the exactly tho but who is being that sense of self? You are. Isn’t it so. But you’re saying as if you are awareness (nothing) recognizing the self as if that self isn’t what you experience yourself as somehow, entangled with it “This is true. And yet every shape or density of ego is seen. The awareness itself is beyond all shapes and all qualities. ” I see this as detachment within the self, not awareness seeing the self. So the one who is aware of a dense ego is also the self it’s just a split within the self. The self can be attached to the mind in my experience, so you can observe and detach from this mind, but it’s still a self left that is doing that.

What is this witness awareness even. For me I don’t know this but it seems either there is a sense of self or not and then this self can be different in quality so some egos are denser than others , some attached to their mind some not is this witness awareness completely undisturbed and unable to suffer or what . Sounds nice to “abide as it” as some say

Ok I see

Ok I see

Ok. Mm then I wonder too how it works. Dreams can be fascinating, an escape from reality too

@Princess Arabia if you do feel like a self , like I do too, then what’s the point of speaking in such ways what makes it seem true to you?

Yes

I meant that some say suffering is an illusion, so that’s what I was kind of responding too. As in, what’s the point really in saying that, what does it mean even. They maybe mean that because the self is an illusion, and it’s the self that suffers, then suffering is also illusion. But physical pain for example can be felt as suffering even for some without a self I’ve heard. And probably some mental suffering too. So that doesn’t entirely make sense.

Exactly

Yea And even with mental suffering that people say it’s just a “story” about a self that doesn’t exist. Still that is an appearance. Regardless what is ~actually~ real or not that misery is still appearing and being experienced so it does exist in some way can’t just disregard it.

Yes but misery is still misery that’s all I’m saying because some seem to say suffering is illusion like it’s not an appearance like anything else. Doesn’t necessarily need a self to be in physical pain for example .

If anything can appear then misery can appear

Happy temporarily? Long term? Permanently? Those would have different answers . It’s not all impossible but some things are seemingly for a human with a self. “The self is its own curse” a quote I came up with and it hits home damn

Ok I don’t know still but it’s fine

What does this mean especially second sentence

U sure it wasn’t sleep paralysis

I'm no expert but I feel like if you fear these things youre more likely to attract them to you so I feel the most important thing is to try to keep calm and grounded which youre already trying to do which is good. It's just this intuition I have regarding these things.

Western psychologists don’t even know what self dissolution is, the process of it, at least where I live. It doesn’t have a name they only know “derealization” etc any sort of thinning of the self and sense of reality is seen as something being not right

Ok got it yea I’d say the same about alcohol

@Chadders i wonder if the dog is conscious, whatever it is seems better than being human