Sugarcoat

My family who knows me thinks I’m weird yes. But I act normal outwardly to strangers and acquaintances. I’m not normal but not the creative type. My experience is quite dull. I barely feel I exist most of the time

So much easier said than done.

I tend to sometimes close my eyes and observe my mental activity. I can see how you’d suggest doing that for longer. I wouldn’t say I’m contributing to it but I’d have to write much more to explain that so I’ll leave it for now. Have already written about it don’t wanna spam the forum with it. Connected vs disconnected might not be the best terms to describe this. But what I mean is that I feel disconnected from my mental processes (this is also the how depersonalization is described on Wikipedia) so it’s like my thoughts are somewhat quiet, there is quite a bit of space between them as in time between each thought, and my thoughts aren’t coherent so they’re more random “bursts” rather than following a line of thought. As if they’re “far away” from me. A “connected” “normal” state id assume is with louder more clear thoughts, that follow a line of thought rather than mostly being just random “bursts”. As if the thoughts are “closer” to the person. Don’t know if I’m making sense

Feeling disconnected from yourself, as if you almost don’t exist. Feeling disconnected from your thoughts, so that you barely hear nor see them. As a consequence, feeling disconnected from reality and the world. Barely being able to enjoy anything. Having no emotion. And this being the case no matter where you are, what you do or who you are with. This is your normal state. Basically having nothing, not even yourself; no life, on the deepest level.

🩷hugs

What are non serious suicidal thoughts? Suicidal thoughts not intended to act upon? I have suicidal thoughts daily

I feel my mind is blank sometimes and my thoughts aren’t coherent, it’s like there’s a lot of space between them but not in a spiritual way, if that makes sense so yes I’m a bit of a exception to that . It’s like a disconnection from my own mental processes

It’s on my mind a lot I feel I have a clear sense of how it works and what it is. In short it’s a kind of severe disconnect from/within myself

That is true. One could be not average though if one suffers from some mental condition, so not average doesn’t necessarily have to mean above average .

The most average people ironically become special in being so average maybe

I wouldn’t say it’s about feeling different or special . Just feeling separated as a separate self. And that is a shared experience that everyone has unless enlightened. Im not talking about that here. I assume the average person has almost constant thoughts yea

Yes

The alternative is just being yourself and approaching when you want to. But since your “being yourself” sucks you can’t do that

Agree here too. The human mind works in such a way it forms attachments. But it can probably be worked on.

Agreed

Do you mean if someone is able to display themselves as being a faithful person but they’re not? Sometimes we could be wrong about people. Then id just say at the end of the day you can’t control someone and you shouldn’t want to as that will just make you suffer. Ideally in relationships to people you can love them but shouldn’t be dependent on them, so if they cheat it doesn’t break you. You can learn from that experience and maybe be able to recognize red flags better the next time.

You’re the best 😂

It’s also about whether you trust your own ability to make assessments of people

It would be like self inquiry I wouldn’t say I’m making a lot of presumptions about it. It’s just a description of the sense of being a separate self.

I don’t really experience that which you describe I would say. Ofc I feel like a separated self which pretty much everyone does unless enlightened , but I don’t feel particularly “separated” or “isolated” beyond that.

The sense of not feeling average you mean? I do experience a kind of disconnect from/within myself and my thought processes, that is somewhat similar to how depersonalization is described. That is not the average experience, so it’s one reason for me wondering how the average experience is (that I assume feels more connected to /within oneself/ones thought processes)

Okay but I still think there is an genuine average person that I see around me regardless of government

What videos? Never heard of it

No. It’s just an impression I have of people of being “average” from life experience not from some government description

I don’t know of a government definition of normal. I just “sense” average people in general, and maybe I could describe them a bit