Sugarcoat

So basically you think one has to come to peace with life first before striving for liberation?

Through meditation for example?

I experienced an ~almost~ total loss of self and it was like an ~almost~ total loss of reality, so I assumed the ~total~ loss of self would be a total loss of reality, that’s what inspired this post.

Very good answers I read them all I might just not reply to them all

I think about the self a bit. I am like that I think about the most fundamental thing in reality. Seemingly “obvious” things. I thought to myself why there has to be a self. It’s a quite tragic phenomena like Jim Newman has said and I agree. No matter how we flip it we can’t overlook the tremendous suffering in the world that all boils down to having a self. Am I not right? No self would entail no suffering. Who would suffer? Even physical pain wouldn’t be suffering without a self or am I wrong? If so, maybe the self is needed to avoid physical pain to sustain the body’s survival? Why did evolution have to create an ego? What’s the purpose? Is it needed for conceptual thinking maybe? Can you think conceptually without a self? Is it needed for daily functioning? I mean some non dualists say you function just as well without a self. So why did it have to arise at all? It must be serving a function otherwise it wouldn’t arise right? Maybe I sound negative. But that’s how I been feeling lately. Battling with the most fundamental thing in reality.

I ~almost~ lost myself and it felt like almost losing reality so that’s what inspired me to write it. Life can be so weird yea

Ok didn’t know

You absolutely don’t have to be all self-actualized to date. Do self actualization if that’s what you truly want to do for yourself, otherwise do something else. Everyone in relationships haven’t done it, it’s probably a minority. It’s okay to fail some in life, like those exams you mentioned, it can happen to anyone. It’s also okay to be virgin at your age I’m 21 and a virgin too for mental health reasons. Struggles standing in the way for dating. I don’t have much will to keep going either so (not because of virginity I don’t care about it) but for other reasons, so I relate to you there. You’re not alone

What does that mean?

54 : I remember in my past I used to be kinda intimidated by this forum because there’s so many grown seemingly “developed” men here. Now I don’t give a fuaq 😹😹😹😹 I could post whatever Growth

Thanks

Mental issues. I’ve tried psychedelics but they didn’t change anything for me.

53: As I’m writing this I barely feel like I exist. I have the thinnest sense of existence. It’s so vague. I wish I had a normal functioning ego. I really do. There’s some flaws to it such as all the tension that comes with it that is like knots in the physical body too, contributing to illness, this I have experienced myself when I had more of my ego left. But it is so much better than this half assed barely real existence. I guess I will never know what a normal existence is. I see it all around me but I can never grasp it nor imagine it, even if I try.

How do you know it has no self?

What is?

Yea or you can be something in between like me and ~barely~ feel real

The ultimate goal

Very much true Understood I think

You mean it’s not real?

The self is a possibility?

52: Are you ready to give yourself up? All you’ve ever experienced is what is right in front of you. Thoughts, sights, sounds, not even those things, the immediate appearance. How come then when you for example read the news you really feel like there’s a real world out there with real events and people? How come when you are in history class you really feel like there’s a past with real people and real events? And why can’t you shake this seeming sense of reality? How come you can discuss all these topics in the forum and feel like it’s all real? Because you have a self. That’s it. The self is the basis for everything. It’s the sense of I’m here and the world is out there. Real solidity here creates real solidity out there. This one separation, this one border between you and the rest gives rise to all else meaning. You can talk shit about this but are you really ready to give it all up? Because it includes everything, all your meaning making, all your sense of a society existing and events happening and people existing. All relating, relationships etc. It all goes down the drain. All your discussing about this and that and feeling like what you’re discussing is real. Are you really ready to give up your entire reality? Because that is what you give up if you give up your self.

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Ok😹

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I’m naturally independent so it’s hard to give tips but I could try. What I could spontaneously come up with is Do things alone that you enjoy to build that love for solitude and become more self sufficient Do things that bring your confidence up in general, such as personal development in general, fitness, building habits for yourself. Anything that will build you as a person and grow your confidence might help you feel less of a need for love from others because that confidence will translate to all areas of life Practice self love. Maybe like affirmations, mantras etc. When you feel unloved, notice that feeling and try to accept it. Sit with it. Write down and analyze that need to be loved. Break it down into pieces to try to understand it better. Thats some things I could come up with. Maybe it helps maybe not.