Sugarcoat

I don’t know?

Thanks you have a special place for me too

Yea

It feels normal now but in my past I remember when I would have breakthroughs in overcoming the fear it would feel great

Yes. I can feel just so ~slightly ~awkward at times but it’s no anxiety. Like if someone starts talking to me at the club or with distant family members, but it’s usually if I haven’t gotten into my flow. But the anxiety is completely gone

Not just any mind falls for such content. You must have had low self esteem and maybe paired with being overly logical detached from emotion (even though such black pill thinking usually has emotion behind it but it’s more hidden) to fall for such content and for it too permeate your entire world view. It spoke to your mindset

👍🏻

Are you also exploring your own darkness in doing this? Like uncovering your own dark sides, if you have any. That’s probably the most important work regarding this

Whatever you please Thanks 🤫

I’m doing “semen retention” too but just because I have no libido

That was so well written you’re intelligent and deep

Yes stress is definitely a factor

I used to struggle with this (not so extreme though). Now I have ~zero~ problem around food. I don’t know a method that works because I don’t feel I got here through effort, but rather things healed inside me kind of and my brain found another way to get that dopamine. So I’d say that your brain is hooked on the pleasure (dopamine high I’m guessing) from the food. So you need to find other ways to get a kind of high, ways that are healthier. Like socializing for example. Ego boosting (vague term I don’t know how else to put it, it could be something like flexing your gym gains in the mirror, so self centered activity) That’s two I can think of. Also the food you eat can play a role, I don’t have too much knowledge in this but I will study nutrition this autumn but maybe try various ways of eating and seeing if it can curb your cravings, maybe you’re lacking something, maybe you need more sugar from fruit . Being present, meditation etc can probably help too to become more grounded and not immediately act on the impulse which can with time decrease the impulse for sure. It’s probably worth a try

Forget my theory it was just a thought😹 another thought I had is that they have a much more social and more forward socially culture in general vs the west that is more individualistic and isolated . So that thendency permeates even the sexual stuff

It’s difficult because your entire dopamine system is designed in a way to derive love and pleasure in attachment to another person. You writing this post suggests you might be the kind who feels better by talking about it and sharing with others, so maybe spending significant time with others can act as a way to fulfill that need for human bonding and act as a potential distraction, and you could talk it through with people. Or with her if you haven’t already. (Maybe I’m sounding too obvious) It can be hard when someone has such a place in your mind, but you can see how your mind is fixated on the person and is running stories about you and them and keeping this attachment alive. A lot of the suffering lies in the very stories we tell ourselves. As Leo said awareness alone is curative so becoming aware of how your mind fixates and spins stories can help dissolve the attachment. It’s in your own mind at the end of the day.

Ok then it remains a mystery for me…

You mean forward sexually? Then maybe my theory isn’t true😹

This is kind of a wild guess from my part But maybe some Brazilian women idealize white men, see them as extra attractive because it’s a societal ideal. And also they think that white men come from more liberal countries and thus are more sexually liberal so they feel more comfortable being that way with them So it’s a little bit of fetishization but it goes both ways, some white men fetishize Brazilian women so they wouldn’t mind it, it’s “mutual”

👍🏻

That’s why I included in my reply that sometimes the best thing to do is to not try at all because trying to overcome emotions can sometimes cause unnecessary turmoil. I did this myself in the past when dealing with social anxiety.

It can make you overly aware of the feelings making them seem greater but I found it key in overcoming the sticky feelings and identifications and stories associated with them. Sometimes we need methods more than “just be” when we’re so entangled in something “just be” can seem like it just leaves us at the same spot not doing anything.

I found for myself with social anxiety that its about more than only exposure. You have to be very mindful while you do it, incredibly present with the fear to dissolve it. Basically great self awareness. Notice all the subtle ways you try to avoid facing the fear, such as looking away, being fake in how you talk, tensing up in the body, talking just to talk, basically all your avoidance mechanisms and go against them, by for example forcing yourself to talk when you feel held back, you can even be a bit fake to gain some momentum, holding eye contact even if it feels uncomfortable, relaxing your body, breathing deeper and focusing on breath, actively focusing on the other person. Basically learn all the ways your fear expresses itself in your behavior and actively, mindfully go against it in the moment of it. Sometimes counterintuively though making effort might not be the best thing (depends on the moment) because it can cause additional psychological strain that just adds more overthinking to it all, so there can be times when its more appropriate to not try at all, but just doing what comes naturally (even if its being more quiet) and still observing the fear to help it dissolve, and hopefully you can find that natural flow. Also this is a bit odd but it requires a bit of self dissolution to completely transcend some psychological fears, because youre dealing with a negative idenfication that needs to be dissolved for the fear tied to it to dissolve. To do this requires self attention which is synonymous with self awareness. In my experience

One thing I could suggest is to become genuinely interested in your own reactions (it’s a part of being interested in your own nature overall) So whenever a negative reaction or prejudice arises you have a genuine interest in its nature, and can observe it from a neutral view and analyze it, how it came about, what it is etc. You allow it to arise if it does without suppressing anything. This way you’ll be potentially breaking it down. Understanding that you are a human being and it’s natural to fall for prejudice sometimes, having some compassion for yourself about it, but it can be worked on and dissolved for good. It’s important to be interested in the actual truth of the matter, so that it overrides emotional biased thinking.

Sometimes we engage thoughts because we feel they’re useful somehow in some twisted way, like you feel you gain some weird sense of control over the situation by keeping notice of how others are doing in relation to you and comparing. You have to really see the uselessness of such thoughts and be too concerned with your own shit (working on yourself etc) to waste mental energy comparing yourself

Ok. The reason I asked was if they had noticed any particular differences between the genders (if they had switched)