Sugarcoat

I had a blissful massive shift which was like the dissolution of my mental self, but I don’t know what to call it. Maybe I haven’t awakened but I’ve dissolved myself so much the world lost 99% of its 3D depth now try to beat that one

No, it can be funny sometimes your comment. Otherwise I feel pretty neutral about it. I’d be glad for you if it went well with girls irl.

I feel that’s a bit of an assumption from your side. From his side it seems love and pleasure was a basis hence this post, but it wasn’t reciprocated. Either he is too needy, or she genuinely didn’t love him back or she has a different style of loving and attaching herself which wasn’t matching his. That she broke up could be a sign that all that time she didn’t love him explaining the lack of giving love, or she broke up when he started to pull back which would be weird because why would she expect receiving when she didn’t give. We only know one side of the story so hard to tell. Limiting beliefs as in not believing they are capable of getting something better thus settling for less meanwhile women don’t tend to have these you mean? I wonder why he dint break up with her. Maybe he had it in the back of his mind but hadn’t taken action on it yet.

I don’t know what you mean by a demonstration of his social power

Obv it can work like that because op wrote about it. You also wanna enjoy your partner as a human being that gives their love to you, not just their qualities as objects. From his pov there was an imbalance and since she broke up she must have agreed. Or he was expecting too much of her, I can’t know enough to say which one it is. I don’t get your last paragraph

He can have all that but if he doesn’t feel that love from her it can still be unsatisfying

Exactly bro

Why would she be with you if she’s not gonna love you? Isn’t the reason for being with someone that you love them, what’s the point if not? Her breaking up with you shows that she didn’t love you. Ofc you expect someone to give you love if they’re gonna be with you. Not in a needy way, but as a given. Very simple. (Not in dating but in relationship) Also drop any idea that you need to love in a certain way due to some philosophy. Be honest with yourself about what you truly feel and think about it and become clear with yourself what you think genuinely not what some philosophy says

It can be hard to comment on something when you don’t know what they’re going through but I know you’re speaking in general terms When dealing with physical stuff it’s different I experience that certain states can be experienced as negative irregardless of mind activity But yea I’ve been trying to think more actively in a “strong” way to deal with this Self awareness is key yes

Something I think about sometimes is what keeps people going through adversity. And about maintaining a strong mindset. This past year has been the worst in my life, and I have been having regular suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it’s so bad I’ll have suicidal thoughts from the morning I wake up until I go to sleep pretty much. I have like two sides of me. One that has some strength to keep pushing forward, and another that is “weak” , has no strength and wants to end my life. I don’t even wanna call it weak, I see it more as a reasonable reaction to the circumstances I’m in which I won’t go into here because it’s too weird even for this forum. Maintaining a “strong” mindset is so hard and I feel it doesn’t last long until it crumbles. What I mean by a strong mindset is a mindset that makes you persevere through adversity. The opposite would be a mindset that wants to end your life instead of persevering through the adversity. I manage to maintain this “strong” mindset for a little while, then it always crumbles and I’m back in suicidal thinking. And so it goes, oscillating between the two. I have wondered to myself what keeps other people going through adversity instead of ending it or at least thinking of ending it. I hear of cases worse than what I’m currently in wondering how those people keep going while I can barely stand my own situation right now. I have some theories. 1. Attachments. I feel peoples attachments could keep them going. For example being attached to their own family, and not wanting them to suffer if they die. This is something I lack, I’m not attached to anyone so no person is a reason for me to keep going. 2. Other attachments. I wonder if people have a kind of attachment to life itself. Or to themselves. They are attached to living, to being a person that is a part of the world, being a part of society. They have a “life” in the conventional sense, having friends, hobbies, partners, interests and they are attached to experiencing these things. 3. Good mental health. When people are dealing with physical pain but have good mental health then their good mental health is like a good foundation they stand on and the physical pain is something that bothers this good foundation but not enough so it crumbles and as long as they are able to maintain good mental health it’s a good enough foundation that gives them a reason to keep living. 4. Having a reason to go through the pain. Sometimes great pain comes from something great. So for example if a woman is giving birth and is in great pain, her reason for keeping going is that she will have a wonderful baby out of it. Also if someone has had a surgery and are in great pain their reason is that they are in the healing process. 5. Attachment to self image. Im going to use David Goggins as an example here. He has this desire to be “the baddest motherfucker” that is a self image he desires to have, and having this self image entails he preserves through adversity and in his extreme case ever PUTS HIMSELF through adversity (the extreme training) . So he needs to do those things to maintain this self image he has created for himself that he is attached to. He is even afraid of not achieving this greatness, of being old and not having reached his full potential. His case is extreme, but I’ve seen some cases of people having this self image of being “tough” and being attached to this image so this keeping them persevering through adversity. I don’t have this as I don’t have a desire to be “tough”. 6. Knowing it’s temporary. This one is a bit difficult for me to swallow. Some things for me are too unbearable to go through even if they are only temporary. So I’m having a hard time seeing how someone could have this as a reason to keep persevering. Because when something is horrible time slows down and it feels like forever. That is a very strong mindset to have, this mindset of it only being temporary. In my case I feel the only reason I’m alive today is that my situation hasn’t become “bad enough”. I don’t have a reason to live, there is nothing that I love, there’s no self image I’m attached to , nor a person, or other things. I don’t know if I would wanna switch places with someone with a “stronger” mindset, or who has attachments, because I hear about these horrible things people go through and I know myself enough to know I would much rather die than go through that. For example there’s this disease called trigeminal neuralgia which causes horrific pain regularly. Many people with that disease commit suicide apparently, and I know myself enough to know I’d be one of them. I don’t really understand those who persevere through that, but I can imagine that some of the reasons I highlighted above could explain it a little. Hope you enjoyed reading. Thanks

Yea I know.

I find that I can be in an undesirable internal “state” (for example depression, anhedonia, kind of like depersonalization, seemingly independent of outside circumstances) and that if I have negative thoughts they aren’t the cause of the state, but rather they are a response to it and reflection of it. At most they can contribute to the negative state. On the contrary, positive thoughts can’t bring me out of the state but they can have a little boost and help me go through it. A quiet mind and being more present doesn’t get me out of the state either, but it can kinda act like a slight temporary distraction. That’s my experience

That’s what I thought you meant. Yea I see. I don’t see though how it has to do with determinism. Ofc we know about someone’s life if they’re already dead, how does that support determinism for our lives. I have wondered about this too btw

What do you mean by this?

Thanks that’s sweet I believe in you that you can. You’re pretty solid. Have you ever considered it seriously?

Definitely My journal is like your ventilation for your sexual frustration

I remember long time ago watching some of her content and it was pretty solid. On top of that her being charismatic. Plus the good looks definitely helps her. People like to look at a beautiful face, even if they’re comparing themselves to it and feeling bad about themselves. It’s kinda toxic how it works. People pedestalize the f out of a gorgeous woman’s face. It’s seen as success to be pretty

I have experienced that too in my past having a hard time admitting what my problem is so that’s def important . Complete self honesty is critical.

Probably because the average person has an average psychology and circumstances so it isn’t so bad for them to consider suicide. And they’re attached to their average life so bad times are like passing clouds that dont shake that solid foundation and if it does it’s only temporary. I don’t think the average person is particularly “strong” so it’s a bit mysterious to me if they don’t consider suicide when things get really bad but I’m guessing it’s that attachment to their “life”(everything that is considered in having a “life) that’s one of the reasons. And having problems that have solutions. Also there’s a big difference between just having suicidal thoughts and vs going the length of actually trying to kill yourself so I’ve had a lot of suicidal thoughts but I’ve never attempted Yea those things are usually what cause people to suffer Yea you covered the most basic things with your reply. I’d agree

This is what I’ve been trying to do id say, just acting without overthinking it. Did you ask this question as a way to say it’s my thoughts causing my suffering so when I do something without thought I won’t suffer like when I brush my teeth? If I’m having a particularly bad day I can suffer while brushing my teeth but it has nothing to do with the teeth brushing

What’s the point of dating other than to go for what you WANT. Like if you settle for something lesser than what you want you’re just gonna end up thinking what could’ve should’ve been, and it will be bad not only for you but for the one you’re with.

Society being free makes competition possible? I don’t watch YouTube much at all for real. I usually switch between actualized , reddit and instagram I see You and your dirty jokes

Yea . In the recent months in particular I’ve been trying to have a more strong mindset and acting despite the discomfort and it’s been working a lot of the time. But still sometimes I get really low and feel weak and suicidal thoughts can take over. But in general I’ve developed a more stronger self by help from that mindset.

That’s def a strong mindset yea.

Aw Not everyone is that secure in themselves I sincerely (no pun intended) hope that mods don’t read my journal 😹😹 I try to keep answers as short and simple as I can. Don’t know what you mean by that last sentence but it’s fine