Sugarcoat

Why you feel you need to do the physical if you not really enjoying it yet. That is a kind of desperation that is in a way making it even harder to get hard (😄) . You could just chose to do the very things you actually feel you can enjoy, instead of forcing it. You seem you feeling pleasure in your ego when you two are doing it, which seems to show the libido is there, but it's like that is not connecting to the body for some reason. Imagine if you told her very raw and unfiltered how you feeling and what youre going through, maybe you'd feel some release from that and more relaxed in your body, regardless of how she responds, it may help you, I think.

@Carl-Richard He's projecting 😂

I understand, youre sensible, I was kinda just exploring my self expression

Thats nice to hear. Yes I think that shows high awareness, in particular high self awareness (how i've experienced it) .

No problem, I am also gaining something from expressing myself these days so my replies are for me too I can see what youre saying. In these past months ive been more natural , doing things im drawn to, and I also wasn't writing on this forum for a while. So that can be a way to take a break from this stuff, because Im guessing you may feel a little stuck in these mental loops. For me, I used to kinda make effort in my mind to try to articulate things, but then I felt its better to be more natural , and let it come naturally , so now when im writing this stuff it doesn't feel heavy, if you see what im saying .

Definitely. For me, I used to feel insecure around people I viewed as "socially skilled", and it was because I felt shy. Maybe for you it was other qualities that you pedestalized. It really has to do with something that we are feeling about ourselves

Im loving your reply right now, thats really genuine and aware expression What youre saying about life being mysterious void to you, perhaps that is more spiritual than the state you were in when you convinced yourself of those ideas. So youre maybe not at all missing out on that spirituality you feel "Fomo" about , but rather the opposite. But ofc feeling empty could be of different quality, for example as I mentioned before as a child I felt unsettling emptiness, but it wasn't of spiritual quality if you could say that. So thats something to consider , can be hard to tell I can relate to you in that last paragraph actually. I also had these disturbing feelings about reality as a child. I would visualize "eternity" and feeling disturbed at the idea that we stuck in eternal existence (forced to be conscious basically). And as I said before, just feeling disturbed in that sensation of existing, as you said, and thinking "in a way it would be better if it was just eternal sleep, no suffering" I was taught religion as a child, but I remember how even as I child, I was aware to to some degree that I didn't actually believe that, but that I used prayer as a way to seek comfort to cover the disturbing sense. Personally I feel that these kind of expressions, where we are really expressing what we´re feeling and thinking deep down (could be thinking them to ourselves too), that in itself can relieve some of the negativity already. Because it's almost like you are asserting yourself in reality, connecting to yourself or something when youre authentically expressing : )

Did you manage to change that tendency? Its good you recognize it

: ) I just thought about something, do you think she'd feel ok about you posting her messages on online forum? Im not asking this with judgement, I just thought about it , and it's something ive thought about in general when I see these types of posts on social media. So it's not only directed to you but people in general. It doesn't even have to be so much about her, but if you meet her next time, doesn't it feel slightly off somewhere in you that you posted this without her knowing, and youre now interacting with her while you have that knowing in you. Like a sense of "disconnect" perhaps.

I dont understand what would be so unsettling about not knowing something. Youre sitting there or whatever, you see your room around you, the stuff, you experience yourself being there, you may feel relaxed in your body etc. Why would it be unsettling that your idea of "god" might be something you dont even know, like does the room change because of that, why would it change the feeling in your body or whatever? Its one thing to feel that you have a negative idea and you feel unsettled because you believe its true, vs what youre talking about, being having an idea that you realize you dont know is true. If it is unsettling to you, thats like stuff going on in your mind, the rest is the same. But even if you do find that pleasant idea that you believe is true, how would you even be able to sustain living from that place and keeping that positivity stable. Thats like all in you, and im not even enlightened or something, saying this. Youre the one talking about the non dual I saw in some posts, and you spoke as if you were truly coming from that place, but youre now talking about being unsettled by shedded beliefs on mind level or something, how do those add up

Thats funny, I suspected it and wanted to ask but you seemed confident in your question so I didn’t ask 😂😂

My reply was relevant to the post because the original post included info about women’s risk of abuse in the home too. You don’t have to reply to precisely the core of the post

I don’t understand what you’re saying

But the statistics are talking about the instances when the abuse etc actually happens, so how is what you’re saying relevant

You guys text each other more than you text these women, and that is chemistry to me

They weren't really approaching women earlier either, they were approaching their images in their mind of the women

What do you mean by this? I connected what you wrote to something I've thought about: If someone has no sense of self, how can there be any experience of reality at all for them? To me, when I hear certain "non dualists" speak, it almost sounds like they are saying, that from their perspective, reality is identical to the perspective that a rock on the ground is having: absolutely nothing, "nothing happening". Identical to deep sleep, UNconsciousness. Maybe this is not at all related to what you are saying, but it came to my mind. It's just weird to me, like it seems you HAVE to have some kind of sense of self to even have any sense of there being a "happening" at all.

The women are afraid of public spaces and think random men are the problem, but the fact they are more at risk for abuse by their partners shows that the bigger problem is actually her poor intuition about men and what kind of men she is attracted to. Hmmm. Almost like she is a danger to herself, not the men

I agree and have experienced this. Sometimes I will genuinely write in a way where the words are chosen to be as literal as I can, and still I might be misunderstood. So then I don't always see the need of explaining, rather I just say "read literally what I wrote". It's like people have their world view, and are reading through that lense, but I mean, we all have a world view, but I think you can have one but still have this openness where youre not automatically projecting it everywhere. Something like that

Just daily casual occurrence you know

You too : D

I was feeling funny, truly no hostility here, because you were snarky so it inspired it in me

@Mellowmarsh youre neither "zen af" nor soft like "marshmellow" u fake

Ok but maybe you dont remember how it felt to be you as a child then. Because I felt it very strongly, near constant unsettling sense of distance like my head was black hole that I was deep inside. Words can't produce that, im convinced

yea