SwiftQuill

I say the pendulum swings too far when my opinion is rejected merely for being male and white. I say the pendulum swings too far when I join a community anywhere online, reddit, this community, any other media, and I seek help about men's issues like mental health, dating and masculinity, and people like you call that a "manosphere". I say the pendulum swings far when they create affirmative action for my career industry and create jobs just for women for instance, to fix the "dominance of men" in the industry. Has anyone ever pondered that some industries like tech are just boring for women? Therefore few women take those degrees, few women apply to jobs in the industry, and that's why there's a gap? Why on earth do people insist there has to be a perfect 50/50 ratio in every industry? Are you going to deny asymmetries exist? The reason there are more men than industry x or y isn't necessary "because of the patriarchy". Conveniently, no one worries if females dominate the hr or psych industries. And lastly, it's not fox news propaganda to say people often dismiss the things I say for being male and white. That has happened to me many times in my previous job (and in contexts that had nothing to do with politics). It has happened to me many times online and in person. And it has made me feel ostracized. I developed anger issues because of this. People gaslight me by saying that I have it easy in life when I don't. I study my ass off, I work my ass off, I do self help, I have a psychologist, I do the best to improve myself. Sure I've never been sexually harassed or imprisoned unfairly. But life isn't "easy". It's a grind. It's not easy being in my shoes. Especially not when people want to make life harder for me by employing affirmative action and all that BS, and I'm not even allowed to express dissent. It's not a fox news fear monger thing. This is reality. People are indeed dismissive of men's issues. I'm saying from experience, not out of some incel shit or men's rights thing.

My individual experience is enough to debunk the notion that all males are privileged overall in life. And again, for the nth time, I'm not dismissing that women and other demographics have issues. I'm not the one gaslighting others. This attitude of let's brush men with a broad brush as though they have it easy in life in 90% of cases is what I am against. We live in a society where a white woman who is a project manager at a tech company, makes good money, has a husband and children, is seen as part of the "oppressed" class. Whereas you can have a guy with a Master's degree in civil engineering, and because of the bad job market he's working at a supermarket or fast food to survive. Let's say he has autism or some other hidden issue he's facing like and addiction or family situation. Doesn't matter. He's a cis white male and that alone dismisses all of his perspective because he's "protected by the patriarchy". Yes I do understand there is racism in the world. Yes I do understand women suffer from a lot of things I can't even begin to imagine. Immigrants have it rough. I'm not here downplaying the notion that classes exist and many people are oppressed. But there is such a thing as swinging the pendulum in the other direction. And there's this BS attitude of "let's pretend the world has 0 sympathy for those oppressed people". We live in a world where DEI and Affirmative action policies exist, many of which go way too far in fighting racism with racism and sexism with sexism. But who am I to say? I'm probably just a privileged bigot who just has it *way too easy in life* so I am not allowed to express criticism toward any single left wing ideology. That's how privileged I am, to the extent that everything and anything I say is dismissed as ignorance and bigotry.

Yes I sure lost you. Do you want me statistics on this topic? Do you want a double blind peer reviewed study saying that I have been rejected multiple times for job because I'm male? Because according to society living experience doesn't matter, only statistics and books written by feminists and sociologists apparently. At some point this is beyond debating. I'm speaking from direct experience in my life. There have been times when I was desperately looking for a job and applied to a shit ton of places. Supermarkets, fast food, restaurants, stores, etc. I can't give you a number but there was a significant number of rejections I got because of being male. I can give examples of specific restaurants and stores in my city which say explicitly they prefer hiring females. These aren't beauty saloons or anything like that, I mean normal restaurants and shit like a Lego store in the mall. Yes I have been indeed fucked by society for being male and my ability to survive in the job market has been harmed from it. Education? I see shit ton of free degrees of software engineering on LinkedIn, like AI, aimed at females. So while I'm middle or lower middle class and I need to study and work at the same time to pay for my degree, if I were female I'd have free tuition. These examples are just tip of the iceberg and the fact you are unwilling to receive criticism on this topic shows how it's very much taboo to discuss the negative aspects of wokeness. @aurum go fuck yourself honestly

What I find interesting is how the first 2 traits are seemingly "contradictory". Superiority Complex (entitlement?) and Massive Insecurity. I have not done research on this, but I assume they aren't mutually exclusive. We can almost reword this as Superiority Complex = having a big vision for oneself, and the insecurity as "fear of failure", which is associated with the possibility of not achieving that vision, because the fear is associated with our vision and our identity. In my opinion there is 1 trait that is the most important, without necessarily forcing us to feel insecure or neurotic about failure, which is just focus. The mere act of focusing on a goal for long enough is a lot more powerful than people realize. Focus, focus, focus. Reduce distractions in life, focus on what you want. This simple lesson has helped me a lot in my life.

I recently came across a hidden strength within me. I have tapped into it a few times in my life, but it never lasted long, not longer than a few seconds. But I need to provide some context first. For most of my life I suffered from crippling loneliness and depression due to my lack of friendships. Recently I was diagnosed with asperger's, things started making a lot more sense. In the past I would beat myself so hard for being a "social loser" and I would be a people pleaser (being a people pleaser doesn't work at all btw, on one will like you if you act like one). So after so much suffering, a lot of suffering and periods of low self esteem, for the first time I forgave myself. I no longer see myself as a social loser, I see myself as just a human being, neurodivergent. I discovered that I am not AT ALL playing the same game as everyone around me. For me, the fact that I have a stable job and I get along with people relatively well, I should consider it a success. But anyway enough of that. I watched Leo's video "The Root Solution To People Pleasing & Loneliness", I've watched it a couple of times. The first time I watched it, it didn't hit me hard, it made sense in theory but in practice I thought it was difficult, impractical. How wrong I was. I've been doing a lot of mindfulness lately, I've been questioning my suffering and my frustrations with people, and I became aware that they have no power over me. That sentence Leo said "Take back the sovereignty" is so true. We are so foolish in life, we spend so much time deluded, looking for external validations, we look for compliments, we look for people to "love" us. It's all a delusion. All of it. It's not just my opinion, at this point I consider it a fact. I can't say I never feel lonely now. Of course I do, but nowadays I don't suffer nearly as much. I don't throw pity parties, I don't waste much time and energy being frustrated. I look at social situations with more awareness. I wish I could put it into words. I feel quite powerful when I look into my delusions and say "No, I don't need this. I don't need this person to like me. F*ck this person, f*ck validations. I do what I want, this is my life dammit!" If you struggle with loneliness and people pleasing. Don't "try" to overcome it. Don't resist it. I recommend just observe it. Observe your own reactions, observe your inner desires. Eventually you will reach an epiphany and transcend your problem. Here is a warning though, this power is stronger than you imagine. Sometimes, nowadays, I contemplate becoming a hermit. Because I genuinely feel I don't need other people, at all. So once you find this hidden strength, don't go crazy with it, don't let it make you deluded into believing that you HAVE to become a hermit to be happy. I am trying to be happy living in society, I am still working on my social skills, I still plan on meeting new people. But now I feel a lot more in control over my emotions. You look for love in other people, but you already contain a lot of love within yourself. I know it sounds cheesy and BS, but it's true.