CoolDreamThanks

Hmm okay, so my nightmared are just my deepest vasanas — deepest mental imprints. I played alot of apex legends, now I dream an amalgamation of apex legends and tv shows ai recently binged, like the Preacher. That’s a horrific combo. I’m always either chasing or running, by demons or plyers. It just feels so real and so intense. Video games and tv shows leave deep imprints in the mind.. that’s actually very bad. That’s why I should consume only sattvic content.

Damn insane nightmares again. I did eat before sleep. Never doing that again.

Dreaming day and night. Alone. Projecting everyone the same here and at night.

Lust is not only about sex. Lust is about all desires -- shopping, food, entertainment. All these are chains that bind to the illusory world.

The author of the book The Coiled Serpent states that things such as Tantra and teachings which proclaim that sexual union is akin and can inspire divine union are one of the most dangerous to a spiritual student, and I can see that clearly, how if you make this one mistake, you won't be able to transcend and rise to the highest centers. It's extremely dangerous, and it's what Lisa Cairns teaches, Tantra, Osho, and I believe many other teachers. The author also talks about how magic, how becoming a white magician, performing miracles depends on perfect continence. He says that only when you subdue your beastly nature can you become a perfect instrument for the divine. This is the core aim of the magician.

Onto the next:

Finished the book. One of the best books ever. Have multiple other alligned about celibacy. Waiting for kindle to arrive. But will also listen to audiboooks. Will attempt to maintain perfect celibacy forever. Allowing myself around an hour of comedy/social media dialy but that’s preetty much it. Sattvic diet started as well.

The author also talks about the more addicted you are to sex, the less discrimination you have as of the females you find attractive and want to spend time with. I noticed this in my own experience, that the more addicted I became to sexuality, the wider the range of females seemed attractive and good to procreate with. But when I abstain, I see those females as unworthy of my attention, impure, unwise. That is also why I didn't want to speak with men. You feel shame around men when you are addicted to sexuality. Anything becomes attractive to you when you are completely addicted. You become insane, demonic-like. Even blood can become attractive to you. And what is a demon than someone who takes pleasure when another is bleeding?

The author says that the transmutation happens when you learn how to raise that energy through your spine up to the higher energy centers. This is what I've learned from Jan Essman. And just in general, Kundalini Yoga, I believe, teaches you how to raise that energy through your spine. When on the in-breath, you raise the energy from the lower centers to the higher, and on the exhale, you just release and relax. That's the transmutation of the energy. If you are unable to do this, then the energy remains stuck in the lower energy centers, and you will feel extreme cravings. You will feel like such a powerful sexual entity, like you can please any female. And while that is true, it's a mistake to do that. It will only strengthen your vasanas. He says that you can even begin to practice some Tao practices where you circulate, where you touch your organ and you feel the pleasure without really finishing. He says that that damages the organ and further degrades you sexually and is an error on the path to purity.

The author further talks about an important point of how sexuality becomes perversed over time. If you are using your sexuality, it's a natural development that at first you might have been attracted by women's breasts, then their hips, then perhaps their vaginas, and then their anus. He says that when you're attracted to a woman's anus, you are established at the lowest energy center. If you keep going, if you keep your perversion going, then you might become attracted to even weirder things, like other men, or worse. He says that at any point you can realize how destructive sexual desire is and turn back. If you don't turn back, you might even lose the ability to reincarnate as a human in the next lifetime, if you die stuck to these lower energy centers. You are starting to become a demonic entity. You can contract physical and mental disease from watching porn and then an even deeper attraction from the demonic realms pull you.

Spectacular. I already feel increased stillness when sitting. Only one day in. You take one step and God takes a hundread for you.

The author quotes multiple saints, proclaiming that when you let go of nature, of the world, and the deeper your renunciation is, the more the world bends to your will, and the more comfortable your life is. The world will even test you if you are truly renunciate. It will give you women and wealth, and it will see if you are truly able to stay away from them. I have experienced this in my life. During one of my renunciation periods, a woman came to me, gave me a flower, and said she wants to be my friend. And I succumbed to her, and agreed. And I noticed that from that time, my meditation got weaker, and I lost the path of renunciation altogether. This is how the world tests you. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna also tells Arjuna that even if he fails in yoga in this lifetime, but if he gave a lot of effort, then in the next lifetime he will be born into conditions conducive to enlightenment. In A Course in Miracles, Jesus also says that if you choose this purpose as your only goal, then the Holy Spirit will arrange your life so that you can meditate and awaken. You won't have to take care of your material needs. This was also my experience when I was a renunciate before life arranged itself in such a way where I had to work only a few hours every week and got enough money to survive.

Wanting things of the world costs the awareness of Heaven. When lust and other desires are halted, then kundalini can rise to the top and grant the experience of God.

Now I can see the faults in the teachings of Osho. He proposed a rather new idea, where you can be a Buddha and still enjoy sense pleasures. And that is also why he was so popular in the West, because he didn't teach them true spirituality, but he basically told them that you don't really have to change a lot, just practice meditation. And of course, I practiced it the way he says, probably millions of others practice it the way he recommends, and no one yet got enlightened through his method. But he was very popular. So, is he a true teacher? No, he is a fake guru. I haven't listened yet to the part of this book where the author talks about Osho, but I'm sure this is what he will say.

The author, Julian Lee, also talks about Buddhism, how Buddha in the Dhammapada, which is believed to be a scripture containing things Buddha actually said, Buddha teaches that lust is like a web, a spider weaves himself and gets lost within it, and as long as you are lost in lust, you are lost in the world and have no hope of letting go of the world and awakening. I'm paraphrasing. So now when I look at teachers like Frank Yang, who has had multiple girlfriends and currently has one, and that girlfriend is constantly showing her almost naked body online, that is obviously not in alignment with what the Buddha was teaching, whilst Frank Yang calls himself an arhat or a bodhisattva or whatever. He obviously is a fake guru. He said that in terms of sense pleasures, resisting them is just more resistance, and that is how ego interprets this. It's a trap. If you are a stupid animal, you have stupid animal impulses, resisting them is actually wise, not stupid. So spiritually saying that you're just not resisting your desires might sound smart, but actually it's foolish.

Now that I look back on my psychedelic trips, I can see clearly how sexual desires and overall sense pleasure enjoyment including food and entertainment is a complete antithesis to God. I saw in those states how divine light is disrupted, covered up, made impure, and finally destroyed by the enjoyment of sense pleasures. There is no deep meditation and Unity with God without renounciation. It is so. I know this not intelectually, but experientally.

“He who has given up sense enjoyment for the sake of God is already 3/4th’s of the way there.” -Sri Ramakrishna Not sure if it’s a real qoute by him but seems right based on what he teaches and very inspiring.

This not-giving-up-sense-pleasures mistake is even apparent in A Course in Miracles community and teachers. Jesus literally says at the end of the book that you do have to give up everything you value here, all the pleasures of the world, every single thing. However, even Ken Wapnick, in some of his books, advocates that Jesus doesn't actually mean that you have to give up specific things, but only judgments in your mind. So that's a silly thing to say when Jesus literally says you have to give up pleasures of the world. And Keith Kavanaugh, another popular teacher who I followed, says that you don't have to give up pleasures. But again, this is how the West interprets the teachings. Even though Jesus says you have to give them up, they don't like it, so they omit that part. And that's why their spiritual progress will be very limited. Ken Wapnick seems so scholarly, so intelectual - no way he makes mistakes right? Wrong.

Julian Lee, the author of The Bliss of the Celibate, talks about how in the West most teachers actually omit the basic teaching of Brahmacharya from their teachings. They take some parts they like and omit others they don't. And the author says without Brahmacharya there is no true spirituality. He says how many teachers advocate for Tantra and that is actually hurting spiritual students especially men, making them weaker and unable to achieve the highest goal. I think Lisa Cairns would be included in this category. In the previous interview she said she has a lot of sex with her boyfriend and in another video she talked about Tantra in a positive way. I think she is not a true teacher. She simply attracted me as a teacher because of how beautiful she is. She also thinks there is no free will which is not true. So she has many or multiple things she is wrong about that hurt and even make the spiritual progress unavailable to men at least to reach the highest goal.

Okay, first night seems good, dreams were better, I think somewhat sexual, but as the author said you first will heal the conscious mind it lust and then the unconscious mind. I think abit more energy too this morning. Feeling slightly stronger will I think. Did some cleaning of my apartment which was overdue. Will put up some things for sale today and do more cleaning. Change of diet, so will eat perfectly sattivic today - rice with vegirs, peanuts with vegies, honey, vitamins and some exercise plus yoga. Life free’s up to become healthier in many ways when sense pleasures are dropped. Will also do some work for my job today or and tommorow. Need to do this task well, quite important to seem valuable now as one product is going bankrupt.

The author also talks about how, just as I intuited, you incarnate into a form that is a reflection of how pure you are. The more sex-addicted you are, the more uglier the form you will incarnate to, and in the end you might even lose the ability to incarnate into a human realm. Hollywood actors that use their sexuality on camera degrade in beauty in one lifetime. I think I saw this in this lifetime. I know a few examples where women who use their sexuality actually became very unpleasant looking, like that model with the, I forget her name, but they look very unattractive when they're older. So that's the karma you incur for abusing sexuality. He also says not only your body but your world turns darker when you arent pure. You can even get diseases in that area, gaps in your aura that allow lower-astral energies to attatch to you. I did have a disease there from promiscious sex and it’s difficult to get rid of, it’s probably on the energetic level or the astral level even. That ultra promiscious girl probably fcked me up on various levels. Need to regain my purity and my health. Never doing that again. This life has to become a life of purity and awakening. Sex never again. Female companionship never again. Solo monk mode until the end of time and back into eternity. Only platonic friendships with meetings once a month or once a quarter with men. Females are so dangerous for me to be around. If life sends someone I shouldnt reject, but keep it completly platonic, not sexualising her, not looking at her body, just a friend.

He also says it’s almost impossible to maintain celibacy whilst drinking coffee. Uh oh. Okay, stoping that. Also stoping all sugar and junkfood. Eating a very sattivic diet of rice and fruits and nuts and vegies. Meat increases harmones and is definately not good for Brahmacharyas. Also no competetive sports and video games, they agiatte me and somehow lead to wanting. Overall my advanced pc setup is hurting me. I should sell it and just keep my work laptop. It’s enough. I realied this before and sold like 4 PC’s in the past. Then purchased again and again.. the trap of sense pleasures is hard to escape. Not sure if I should aell my pc. Feels bad in the heart center which says that’s not right. Okay, keeping then. I’m often very motivated to let it all go and fail… And if I made bad financial decisions and have to repurchase my equipment I lose alot of cash. Another trap for me is fashion. When I dress well I feel attractive and like I deserve sex. Why shouldnt I use my looks to get attention? Nono thats very unwise. Selling all my designer clothing. Another big one for me is perfumes, selling them as well, same egoic trap connected to sex and attracton and female attention.

The author also talks about how activation of the kundalini energy before you have subdued your sexual desires can actually increase your sexuality. That is what happens to people on drugs. Drugs invigorate the kundalini, and people on drugs who have a lot of sexual thoughts become sexual maniacs. They lose all control. It becomes just completely unbounded, that sexual desire. I've had this in my experience where my friend, female friend, said that if we take drugs I will definitely want to sleep with you. And she said that she actually wants to do that with me. And since then we haven't met. I think that ruined our relationship. But in my own experience, when I take drugs, when I take psychedelics without preparing myself with at least a month of celibacy, that psychedelic experience is like I spend an hour or so just fantasizing about sexuality or masturbating. I just become so engulfed in it and I can't really surrender to the bliss. I am grabbed by the sexual desire. So yes, that's very important to see how you have to remove all sexual thoughts, all sexual desire from your mind until you can ascend to enlightenment. It's impossible to not be celibate, to have sexual thoughts and come back to heaven. It's the core practice.

Listened to around two hours of this book on celibacy. It's amazing, very inspiring, introduced a lot of nuances I haven't considered before. Based on his evaluation, I am very much on the wrong path. In the past, when I was on a psychedelic trip, I viscerally, intuitively felt how ejaculation was a wrong thing to do, how it hurts me. Now, knowing that chakras do exist, this makes even more sense, because I'm wasting the energy and sending it down to the lowest energy center, whilst enlightenment is the accumulation of energy at the highest center. The book also talks about the astral realms, how you can't enter certain realms and hang out with certain company, which, as it requires for you to be celibate, to be pure, that also seems to be true. He also talks about spiritualities that don't advocate for celibacy, like Tantra and Leogura, are perverted and actually will cause the teacher to incur bad karma. That's why Leogura is suffering so much in his health. The author also talks about how the more you desire to become a teacher, the less you should be one, and those who don't want to become a teacher should be ones, but they should be called by life naturally, you should never attempt to become a teacher.