CoolDreamThanks

Listened to around two hours of this book on celibacy. It's amazing, very inspiring, introduced a lot of nuances I haven't considered before. Based on his evaluation, I am very much on the wrong path. In the past, when I was on a psychedelic trip, I viscerally, intuitively felt how ejaculation was a wrong thing to do, how it hurts me. Now, knowing that chakras do exist, this makes even more sense, because I'm wasting the energy and sending it down to the lowest energy center, whilst enlightenment is the accumulation of energy at the highest center. The book also talks about the astral realms, how you can't enter certain realms and hang out with certain company, which, as it requires for you to be celibate, to be pure, that also seems to be true. He also talks about spiritualities that don't advocate for celibacy, like Tantra and Leogura, are perverted and actually will cause the teacher to incur bad karma. That's why Leogura is suffering so much in his health. The author also talks about how the more you desire to become a teacher, the less you should be one, and those who don't want to become a teacher should be ones, but they should be called by life naturally, you should never attempt to become a teacher.

Actually, I'd better not. Haven't heard of Anandamayi Ma or Ramana Maharshi or Ramakrishna or Papaji having a cat. Probably best not to take upon myself such a long-term responsibility when I don't really know all the consequences.

Cats are so zen. Maybe I should sell my pc setup, get a cat and mimic how she lives. I’ll just read books but besides that I can pretty much live 90% like a cat.

Decided to abstain today and took a nap. Dreamt of an ex classmate which I found fooling around immaturely and pressing buttons he shouldn’t. - symbolic of finding my immature side pressing buttins I shouldnt?: sexuality. Then from that scene I found myself in a cave, a perfect cave for meditation — no bugs, the ground covered in sort of a moss that I could sleep on. also symbolic. Now I found that listening and reading to teachings from Saints about celibacy helps me to not do it. But if I’m serious about it I shouldnt do all other things that are close to it - junkfood, vidoegames, youtube. I do feel ready I think. Everything else seems meaningless and I’m tired of it. Cant find any interesting content, video games seem boring. Junkfood even tasted pretty bad today and felt how it’s making me sick. Ok, Trying to live a life of Brachmacharya

Interesting, in the book Swami says that if you practice brahmacharya you can't even dream nightmares. Nightmares are the effect of blasting off. hmmm

Love that Jesus' teachings are the same as those of the Saints of India - let go of the world, let go of sense pleasures, this world is an illusion, a dream, simply meditate and come back Home.

Lust really is at the core of bondage to this world..

I'd hypothesize that people look exactly as who they are because when you incarnate you incarnate into a body that is representative of the mind that you enter the incarnation into. So if you had a promiscuous mind in the last lifetime and did not purify yourself, you will have a slutty face in this lifetime. If you were meditative and pure, you would incarnate into a kind/pure body, like Lisa Cairns and Anandamayi Ma. I think we can mostly see a person's intelligence in their face as well. So, if you developed wisdom in the previous lifetime, you will have wisdom. But I think you can also punish yourself -- if you were intelligent and misused your intelligence in the previous lifetime you might incarnate into an autistic/retarded body next lifetime as a karmic punishment. Anyway.. Just thinking.. Was watching porn and got into a contemplative mood - why do all promiscuous girls look promiscuous? Like you can see it in their face what's in their mind. It's just that that's universal - you can see who everyone is in their faces. Maybe.

Working sucks so much.. Even though I'm in a good position it's still not ideal. This is a huge motivating factor for letting go of the sense-pleasures and falling into meditation, where I dedicate myself fully to God and he lifts me above my karma to where I live a life of freedom, where my needs are met with working only a few hours weekly.

veery good resource https://selfdefinition.org/celibacy/

“Freedom, Sancho, is one of the most precious gifts bestowed by heaven on man; no treasures that the earth contains and the sea conceals can compare with it; for freedom, as for honour, men can and should risk their lives and, in contrast, captivity is the worst evil that can befall them.”

There is really no content left to consume. I mean something that's truly interesting, profound, entertaining. What I've been doing in the past few months was playing video games and watching a TV show or YouTube videos on the side. Because neither of these are that interesting in themselves. But if I combine them, I sort of feel occupied and satisfied. But now it just feels like there's nothing really valuable or truly entertaining to watch. Everything is so stupid, so trashy, so violent. Wish I could find another good tv show like shits creet or smthng. But just in general I’m just moreso distracted than ever truly entertained these days. Which is good, getting tired of this useless content and seing no value in it helps me to let it g, combined with the cost if pc and phone making me tired, sick and dreaming nightmares.

Was watching the show Preacher this last week and now had a dream of my guts being ripped out. Hate when this happens — dreaming nightmares based on the shows I watch. Characters were mean and selfish just as in the show. Another morivating factor to stop plating this game of sense pleasures.

Forgiveness is very much about realizing it’s not personal at all. It’s just them, who they are, it has nothing to do with me. Someone is rude? That’s literally just them being miserable and expressing that. Nothing to do with me at all. That liberates.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1CGwXcqR4P/?mibextid=wwXIfr haha true. Addiction is not just in the mind, it’s in the chemistry. There are withdrawl symptoms when going from a sense pleasure lifestyle to a God-centered one. This whole life is one big drug addiction and breaking it is not easy, but required for awakening.

Solipsism is peace. It means there is nothing you need to do or change. Nothing means anything. You never did anything wrong or right. Nothing ever happened. But if you only keep solipsism at the conceptual level, then yes, you will feel unfulfilled. Realizing life is a dream is only the first step to ultimate peace and liberation. The second step is to go beyond concepts to a place of Peace inside and live from that Peace until that Peace dissolves the dream and you enter Mahasamadhi.

I still feel so sluggish. It takes time to rebalance the chemicals in the brain that became unbalanced because of the inappropriate sleep schedule. Ruining sleep is such a bad idea. Other things have an effect too, ofc, like spending a lot of time in front of a screen, eating fatty processed foods, not exercising. That's the cost of not living a sattivic life. Feels like living underwater. Drowsy.

Satori (Japanese: 悟り) is a Japanese Buddhist term for "awakening", "comprehension; understanding" The word derives from the Japanese verb satoru. In the Zen Buddhist tradition, satori refers to a deep experience of kenshō, "seeing into one's true nature". Ken means "seeing," shō means "nature" or "essence".

Why did I fail my life of Purity before? Probably not enough wisdom and spiritual maturity. Didnt see clearly the cost and consequence of choosing to be in the world. Still had hope in the world. Didnt see that all roada of the world lead to despair. Still believed in manifestation.

Another profound benefit of being totally commited to God is that it lifts you above your Karma. When I live a life of one mindedness I am so blessed. I dont have to work. Nothing bad ever happens. The universe supplies all my needs. Not one seeming difficulty melts way before I reach it. I need take thought for nothing except the only Purpose I would fulfill. Amazing. Grace.