CoolDreamThanks

Notes from sessions with my teacher: 1. Romantic relationships - 2. The art of healing - not trying to fix, not indulging. 3. How much effort to put in and how to go about awakening 4. Does the dream change? 5. What is life? 6. Defences 7. My lack of self-worth 8. Don't focus on the error. 9. Be normal 10. Pleasures.

Isn't it true that the deeper you go, the more seemingly extreme thoughts you will have to let go? From the conventional POV, they will seem unforgivable, disturbing, disgusting, but if you don't see them as sin, only as meaningless thoughts to be let go of, all goes well.

Imagine asking the wisest being in existence: -How does one come back to Heaven? I've remember Heaven - it is a formless, thoughtless, silent, abstract realm of love and light with no separation, no self, and no world. How does one return to that realm? And the wisest being says: -Salvation can be seen as nothing more than the escape from concepts. Hold this concept as a sword and it will slay all demons and cut all weeds in your path from hell to Heaven. You need not a shield, only this sword. You don't even need to defend yourself against the world, the only sword you need is a sword of Silence, and with it, walk bravely and effortlessly through this maze within your mind. ___ In other words - don't restrict anything in form, don't chase your behavior at all, only do everything from the place beyond concept, where God dwells and from where the Gates of Heaven will be opened once more.

Salvation seems so simple now -- it is merely the escape from concepts. What error would I make, if I discarded all past learning and kept up this one single concept in my mind, which lead me as a reminder through my days, as to where to go for God, and for happiness and Love. Happiness is not in the world and it is not in thoughts, it is in the space around and inside, it is in the stillness of my mind, it is here. When I begin to fantasize about a future, remind myself that happiness is not there, it is here. When I think, I can always feel and clearly see how that is not the place of happiness. I can always choose Silence and taste immediate results, a profound shift into happiness and divine peace. What if I trusted that my only mission is to keep this realization in my mind for the rest of my life, what if this concept is a concept that erases all concepts? And will not Spirit arrange for all things for me to be able to walk freely this path? Is all experience not merely my own decision? Is form not merely a reflection of what I am choosing - the realm of God or man -- the realm of Silence or thought?

When you project and judge, is that specific judgement something that is true about me, that exact thing, like I am really that, or is it not true, but I believe it is true about me, I dont like it, I dent it and I judge it? do I judge and project because I left the peace of God, mainly, or are there many other reasons for judgement and projection?

relationships as mirrors to see your errors - true or false?

when you allow something of the world to take the peace of god away from you, tell yourself: I value "x thing" more than the peace of God, I must be insane, and i must choose peace instead of this, as there is nothing more valuable than the peace of God. Is it correct to use feelings to identify when you are in the wrong mind, and the peace of God as to identify that you have chosen correctly now and are in your right mind?

Uu okay, so there is a reason why ACIM is written in a poetic manner - those higher states are beyond simple analytical language, the closest you could get is by describing them in poetic ways, and also, someone who lives in those states is likely to express themselves through poetry, hence, because the Course comes from the highest levels of mind, it is written in shakespearean style. I guess..

Not affirming ego’s - bad or good? In a team lunch - not speaking, genuenly not having anything to say - bad?

Carreer - surrender?

Karma - anything worth considering? True? Seems to be true. Totality of existence - solipsism - just to confirm - completly true, right? Fear of awakening - experience of seeing mind in terror, dying, during a meditation retreat.

So you go slow and gentle because the terror of dissolving is immense in the character. I remember dreaming and seeing the character being in terror sccreamjng and at the same time dissolving: whaat? I dont exist!??? Nooo!!! I am dying! It did feel like it was close to total dissolution and the fear was immense. Although there was perfect love and peace underneath the frantic screams of the ego, and the screams felt meaningless and illusory.

Ken says you have to realize there is no differences, which means you don’t teach others the Course because that makes them real, different from you. If all is one, then you are the one and there is no one to teach. Only ego wants to use the Course to proce others wrong or help others. There are no others, only you, and even you will dissapear in the end into oneness, and this is where the fear and the resistance comes up, in forms of fear or sickness or many other ways that will stop you from dissolving completly.

The dream definately reflects your state of mind, and the highest state of mind is a state of being, not state of doing, of thought or emotion. Ken said when psycho-analysts analyzed the death mask of Bethoven, they saw no libido there, no energy, no emotion, there was no self. First Bethovens conpositions are in the camel’s stage - following all the laws of music, second stage, the lions stage, the 4th, 5th, 6th sumphonies are where he was going deaf and was saying no to the world, and final pieces are reflecting innocence and egolesness.

In the final stage you no longer say no to the world, you are nit mad at it, but you also don’t believe there is anything in it of value. You simply laugh at the world, at the tragedy, because you know it is unreal, it is merely your own dream. And because it is your dream you are innocent and nothing is serious, nothing disturbs your peace. Now you are tasting the peace of God.

When a grown man becomes as an innocent child, the unwise, unperceptive minds will see that mind as feminine and perhaps call it gay, not understanding, as Jesus says, what they are doing. However, they will be very much attracted to that innocence, even if they judge it.

Accoridng to Nietzches model, first you are a camel who lives according to the world and tries to be happy in it, then a lion who says no to the world, and finally, an innocent child, a stage he himself has not reached. But the final innocence is indeed somewhat childish, you can feel the purity and the gentlesness in that state.

How is simplicity of lifestyle connected to God? I assume that now if I force myself into it I will fall back, it has to be a natural progression. Carreer - what approach is right? Efortlessness principle applies to this as well? Defence s- let them go as you see them arise, or that is still a form of resistance?

I used to have nightmares that I am late to submit my last assignment for the graduation of high school. It was very stressful. I think it's a symbolic expression of how I've been living - always rushing, feeling like I'm always behind, trying to get somewhere I want to go through maximum effort, whilst now, Jamie said that I have to spend the rest of my journey relaxing, dropping all effort, instead of revving up my engine, even if its related to meditation, contemplation or studying the Course. You can read one line of the Course per week, and that will be enough, if you go where it is aiming to take you, back to effortless flow.

Each day carries with it a melody, and you have to learn how to join that song in a gentle, harmonious duet.

When I decide not to try, not to reach for Him, He feels closer than ever before.

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here, And you must treat it as a powerful stranger, Must ask permission to know it and be known. The forest breathes. Listen. It answers, I have made this place around you. If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here. No two trees are the same to Raven. No two branches are the same to Wren. If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you, You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows Where you are. You must let it find you. David Wagoner

You see the error, in whatever form in comes, but you know it's an error by how it feels, you recognize what is happening, you remember that you have a choice and you choose peace instead of this.