The Caretaker

This sums up my position as well. Casual discussion with coworkers don't bring me much joy as well. But I do feel in a much better mental state after I speak to somebody. Yes, feel at "peace" when I am alone, but at the same time, my mind is starting to play games with me.

@PsychedelicEagle Makes sense. Thanks for sharing 🤗.

One of my goals for this summer was to get better at socializing. So far, I've been rigid about going out at least once a week. Day time, night time, concerts, bars, events, solo or with a friend. I've tried a little of everything. I've trained my brain to look for people that I could vibe. The problem is, that I don't feel comfortable approaching strangers, both men and women. With men, I want to expand my social circles and find new friends outside my echo chamber. And with women, I want to find somebody more into self-development and invite to a date. I feel secure about my conversation skills and my life in general, but I feel like facing a wall when I want to cold approach. Being with a friend does not help much either (my mind looks for more excuses not to approach). I know I could try the warm approach route, but I want to improve at cold approach specifically because it does not hinge on any particular group. If I get good at this skill, I feel like my social life will depend only on me and not on bullshit circumstances or social groups that I can't take with me if I change location/interests. I've studied more dating/social advice than my brain could digest in a lifetime. What I am asking is more about personal experience. How you personally get over this fear? A remark, I refuse to take alcohol or drugs. I want sober improvement, either solo or with a wingman. Also, I am not interested in anything flashy. I just want to get better.

@PsychedelicEagle Yeah, it seems about right. In other areas of life, I feel like I get what I am doing only after 3-5 years. But at least it seems that the more areas you master, the faster the process become. Like learning how to learn. What about results from night game tho? I consider doing mostly day game and events just because I want to preserve my sleep schedule. Even 1 night a week going 3-4 hours later to sleep seems to affect me at least for a few days.

@Treewatcher It used to be the case in my country as well. But either my perspective changed, or ppl overall got happier. I am from Eastern Europe.

@Leo Gura Got ya. I remember my first approach was in a park. A woman was close to the lake and I joked that "the water is too shallow here to jump". She laughed and we started a discussion. And then, I started talking to her about spiral dynamics 😂. Take notes guys, the best approach = a suicide joke + autistic conversation topics. Another time, I was very hesitant and spent like 30 minutes doing nothing but walking around in the park. My state was so low, that a couple approached me, and asked me why I was so sad. The woman instantly assumed it was because I was single 🤣. @Lyubov This sensation is emotional, not logical by nature. I know how to handle logic, emotions a little harder. I think and think and think about my internal state, and observe, and contemplate more. This particular area of my life feels impossible to handle through introspection alone. How exactly would you follow your advice and @mmKay A real grandchild would game their elders sober. Everybody's gangsta when granma is high 😤.

@Basman He had a few videos on his main channel where he helped people overcome their fears. @Leo Gura When you started, you did it head-on? I remember you shared some stories where you either tried (or at least advised) to start from something smaller (like asking for time from strangers) and gradually increase the difficulty (talking to women with sexual intent). I also remember you said "game" was so brutal you had to cry after some nights. Do you believe this is because of the nature of the beast or because of your past level of development? @Lyubov In my experience, people who have natural "zero social fear" are cracknuts, not so far away from prison or at least harassment. But yeah, the question is a good one. I'm just not sure how the answer will help me. Awareness with little action can take you only this far.

@Leo Gura Oke, maybe I didn't ask the question correctly. I mostly meant to ask how others raise their state for any given day/night. Yeah, in the long run, gradually talking with more strangers will improve my skills, but I want to also know what is possible in a single good day. Also, what should I do about this part [Being with a friend does not help much either (my mind looks for more excuses not to approach)]? Look for another wing? @Basman I like Mark's work. After I've read his books I've memorized a few principles for self-help. Not so sure about his exercises tho. Getting somebody like him as a couch could be good, but his current life advice seems somewhat disconnected from practicality.

@Yimpa I have quite a few tricks in my sleeves ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿༽ @Raze Thanks for sharing. Have you tried in the field their advice?

Thank you all for your contribution. I will try to make some changes you mentioned and see where it goes.

I agree with aurum. After ~36h you might feel very exhausted and have tingling sensations in the arms, but that is quite individual. Just be careful how you break your fast. Refeed syndrome is a real thing. Even after a short fast, I took too many calories (by too many, I mean something like half of a usual meal) and almost fainted. It's no fun at all.

Right now I take the following supplements: D3, B vitamins, mineral spectrum, and creatine monohydrate (mostly to boost my workouts). I did a blood test recently and my B12 was barely above the bare minimum (something like 260 from a range of 250-750), however, my minerals seemed just about fine (Iron, Calcium, and Zinc). Don't have any problems with sleep, focus, or general energy levels during the day, just want to be cautious with deficits and have an extra umf. For Omega I eat plenty of nuts/algae/tofu. And as far as I know, those are all the most common issues. Usually, I take the supplements with water, but I have 3 general questions: If I take all the supps above at once, will they get fully absorbed? Creatine is recommended to take with something sweet (like juice or sweetened milk) for better absorption. Is this true? My B comlex it's very concentrated, up to the point where my piss becomes saturated yellow for half of the day. However, today I took all my supps with juice (including vitamin B) and my urine was the normal color. + it's overall "dangerous" to take such a high dosage of B vitamins? Thanks for any feedback in advance.

@integral Answering your question. I became vegan like ~2 months ago. And I did the test right before that, when I was still on a vegetarian diet. I still eaten animal products for the past 3 years. My low level is either from bad absorption or "bad" animal products. Also, I do consider that I will return to vegetarian, but mostly for social/taste reasons, if my vegan trial will do more harm than good to me. I am not fanatic about this, but can't accept/reject a lifestyle without trying it first either. @Michael569 Thanks, will look into that. I will do a test in a few months (or sooner if I will feel weaker/mental fog). If my overall level will rise, I guess nothing to worry about. In rest, I have a plan from you guys . Will remember to not take the sups 48h before the test tho. @M A J ISadly we don't live in a truly healthy society, and such lifestyle could work only in a village with self cultivated products. Otherwise, you don't really know what you are putting in your plate and what deficiency will rise out of it.

@Michael569Thanks. I will look into it. For the most part, I've considered only pills and powders to supplement, but never anything more "exotic". Will look up if we even have those tests in our region Also, do you have any inputs on those parts? @EugeneTheSage Thank you. Will look up at this as well. From all the mentioned sources, algae are the least consistent in my diet. I was certain that I get enough from other sources.

The National Bank created a separate akk for donations. I don't think you can get more official than that. https://bank.gov.ua/en/news/all/natsionalniy-bank-vidkriv-spetsrahunok-dlya-zboru-koshtiv-na-potrebi-armiyi

Yeah, this might be the case. Rn I am considering eating 3 times during workout days and see if this somehow affects my productivity in other areas. Also, "funny update". My coach told me that fruits are bad bc they contain a lot of fructose (aka a lot of calories/sugar) and that all carbs are "pure evil" . Idk, he is looking at them mostly from a losing weight perspective, but even then fruits are good for your health, besides just gains...

Howdy guys! Hope the New Year is bringing you some good stuff. I want to renew going to the gym this week and I want some recommendations regarding a few topics (just a small 1 sentence response will be enough): Fasting and calories surplus - does it make a big difference when I eat if I am able to get all my calories within 24h of my appointment Water bottle - I am using mostly a plastic bottle for convenience, shall I look up for a glass/metallic (and how to choose a good one) Supplements - I am vegetarian, and I don't really want to use any artificial powders, but I am curious what I can add to my food and water to boost my gains and recovery (stuff like cinnamon, maca, or there is something more specific)

The kettle became white, not the water. The heating element boiled the tap water and a lot of minerals just got stuck on it. Gladly, my usual water leaves no trace of excess salts after boiling. Ok, I've never considered a sauna before (I will ask if my gym branch has a good one). If I understand correctly, between cold showers and sauna, you would recommend the latest, yes? Actually, I get way more stressed after a cold shower. I've done it for ~60 days max as an experiment, and all I got from it was a PTSD/anxiety to shower a few weeks after I finished. I did it to train my willpower and see If I will feel more energetic/rested afterward. In reality, I got trouble sleeping after the first few weeks + my feet were extremely cold and almost impossible to warm (even with socks) after them. Idk, maybe the main problem with them was the fact that I shower in the evenings, not morning + I did them full cold, without any warm gradation. I still do them, very rarely, but again, mostly for spicy sensations than health benefits. Yeah, I totally get that. But again, I've done them for reasons other than gains. There is already a lot on my plate to consider other than cold showers before I develop any stable habit.

Thank you all for your time and effort . @aurum My water seems quite good so far. I will check out the composition once more to be sure that it contains all the minerals I need. What is funny tho, I bought once a new kettle and boiled it a few times with tap water to "clean it up". Let's just say that after one boiling, it was all white from the salts . Also, as far as I know, cold showers/baths help a lot with recovery but slightly inhibit muscle growth. Idk, I've tried to cold shower for a few months in the past and haven't noticed any substantial benefit. @The0Self I do 16/8h fasting mostly because it increases my productivity. It feels easier for me to eat just a few times a day, even if it means eating bigger portions. Idk, I just feel more focused when I am hungry. @Michael569 Hmmm, 140g of protein per day sounds quite a lot for me. From your experience, is better to consume like 3000+ calories to get all the protein, or maybe It would be wiser to consider, after all, at least a protein powder (tbh I have no clue how to choose a good one)? Getting 2500 calories is doable and sustainable tho. Hahah, yeah, I understand that. By "skyrocket", I meant 10-20% increase, not x10. I used to watch a lot of Athlean X back in the days, and it was a very good time to build up some good gym attitude, but he was too dense for me. Right now I am not following any "gym guru" at all (besides Derek, the guy who you recommended, but he is more like a vegan cook than a serious coach ). The main concern I have (and the reason I started this topic) is that I take everything quite holistically. Considering fitness is quite a heavy mental task for me, thus I want to get as much high-quality info and just start practicing. In a sense, I am not worried that gains will take long, I am worried that I will underperform on any step of the training/recovery and will waste my time.

@Michael569 Thanks a lot! But I am still slightly confused about this part: My sleep is good, and the training part will be handled by a coach. I am mostly curious about protein intake and general "gut health". If I have to boil it down to 2 smaller questions: Will eating buckwheat, rice, pearl barley, tofu, soy products, white/brown beans, pea, whole pasta/bread, and various nuts (all of them are quite a stable addition to other meals) be enough (and how much/often realistically)? I also eat daily fruits, vegetables, but the main part of my meals are cereals and legumes. Is there any root or seed that I can add to my tea/water/smoothie that will skyrocket maybe not my gains, but overall health (basically, something like walnut or blueberries, but in the world of seed/roots), as I neglect them quite a little?