MatteO22

Good! I’m glad you’re being honest. Enjoy your time on the internet! Spend it well ! May it be abundant and fruitful.

@Lucas-fgm so your logic is, you can attack anyone you want, and If anyone else does something that in your eyes is an attack (even though I was just being direct clear and truthful), you attack them as well, and of course - they deserve it in your head so you should keep doing it. Am I getting this right ?

I’m not that into SD, but to my limited knowledge being authoritative is a stage blue value, therefore authoritative stage green person is a healthy green that has integrated blue, and doesn’t bounce around spreading ‘love and light’ to all individuals, toxic, abusive and otherwise. So… isn’t that a compliment to someone’s growth ? I’m honestly wondering because I don’t know that much about SD If you call out someone’s behaviour as a red flag it’s hardly an attack it’s a pointer of awareness. Statement ‘shame on you’ is an attack though. I do have to say that besides, didn’t you attack @Hulia calling her (in your words) ‘a German hoe’, and then dragged all German girls through the mud ? Maybe it was someone else… oh wait, it wasn’t.

Just saying, If you’re sleeping with your boss for treats and are in a situation that’s getting you worked up and angry about it you don’t have strong boundaries at all, your boundaries suck. Boundaries are what keeps you from getting into the situations like the one that she is in.

That doesn’t make it okay. I mean that’s literally the reason behind any hate speech or verbal attack ever. Of course, a misogynistic belief won’t confess itself as misogynistic because then it would have to change. If you have misogynistic agenda you’re going to deny it all the way.

Yes! I just had a glance at the forum guidelines and sexism is not allowed. Which is problematic because the whole red pill/pua/Alfa-beta ideas are all rooted in sexist ideologies. Frankly the whole dating section is flooded with posts where most of them are rooted in some form of covert or overt sexism. I’m not here to tell you guys how to run a forum, totally not my job. But there seems to be a huge dissonance. Why doesn’t anyone bat an eye ! I mean people seem to be speaking up finally but so much shit gets a pass, stuff that if you said in a room full of people in real life you’d be outed for discrimination and misogyny or misandry.

@bejapuskas you’re a great mod and I appreciate the empathy and sensitivity you bring to the community, it’s making a huge difference !

All your points remind me of this video, I’ve been thinking about it all this time it’s so funny Instead of all this talk, go tell your dad that you love him ! Granted he’s alive and well, and your relationship isn’t too broken beyond repair… hopefully

This! tbh it’s a lot of social stigma, the roles men tend to play and be Put into in today’s society tend to be so rigid that they leave little room for spirituality. In so many ways, true spirituality is about receiving the essence of who you are. And since you’re not achieving anything, you might be labelled as a weak and useless man. And that shit can hurt as hell. But it’s also that women can be into spirituality, but it doesn’t mean it’s always genuine. The ego can dress up as a spiritual one because it may gain attention and praise for being a certain way. So spirituality can be used as a manipulative means to get what you want. … thuss I don’t think we can say that women are less rooted in their egos than men. It’s about the same for all of us. Yeah… I’m not sure about that. I think that birth and having a child can be a huge spiritual experience and a process of alignment with your soul, but fatherhood can be the same. Thing is Tolle has probably a predominantly female audience so maybe he just concluded that based on the percentage of females watching him ? Maybe.

Yes, thank you for your example that’s exactly it, with one exception. Guy needs a dominant ‘feminine figure’ in order to develop feminine traits not female. E.g If you had a child and brought it up in the state in which you were conditioned (imbalanced masculine), your child would have the same energetic predisposition as you, assuming you’d be the dominant parent. In my case it was a bit of a chaos, cause my parents switched who is more dominant quite frequently, which to an extent happens probably to everyone but not always in such an extreme as me, regardless overall my mom was a little more dominant so her imprinting was much deeper than my fathers. And the relationship I had to my dad was mirroring the one my mother had to him. Which also mirrored the relationship I had with my masculine energy.

@Shin I think ultimately the reconciliation between genders is a journey of forgiveness, the masculine forgiving itself for what it didn’t recognise in the past as hurtful and abusive, and the feminine forgiving others for what it survived at the hands of all perpetrators. And it happens in phases and takes time and that’s fine, but at least we don’t need to pretend like there’s something else going on!

Depends, I think it’s useful allowing everyone to embrace where they’re at with awareness and self-compassion. And not try to gaslight people into thinking that they should be somewhere where they’re not at already. Silly isn’t it :D. (This isn’t me accusing you of gaslighting btw I think you’re one of the more sane people here). You should be more ‘masculine man’ or ‘more feminine woman’… tbh what does that even mean because that’s gonna mean a different thing for all of us. Just be as you are, come as you wish (which is a great Matt Kahn quote), and be honest about your experience, which translates as ‘I feel this’ not ‘my partner should do XYZ in order to allow me to avoid ABC’ that’s how we create intimacy, and that’s when healing begins.

@Shin btw even to say 50/50 is misleading, it’s more like it becoming one thing. I’ve experienced this that as I heal more and more the distinction between masculine energy and feminine start dissolving because they start working in such a harmony that they become indistinguishable. It just takes time and usually is a life long spiritual journey of healing and awakening.

That’s a limiting belief. Life purpose is a social construct made of ideas, nothing to do with balancing out your polarity. It can be a part of it, but you’re putting unnecessary emphasis, which is also Leo’s agenda - he sells a course after all doesn’t he. It’s precisely 50/50 for all human beings who are not traumatised by their experiences. Which is close to no-one on planet Earth. The natural state is equal balance. If you don’t have an equal balance you have something that’s called an ego. Which is fine, we just have to say it as it is. There’s a percentage outside of the 50/50 balance that’s been conditioned, not ‘set’ as in some sort of determined destiny that somehow overrides the 50/50 default. Again to say that there’s an ‘imbalance of masculine and feminine polarity’ that is set is a limiting belief, because as long as there’s imbalance, there’s going to be some form of pain lingering unresolved creating some form of toxicity and overcompensation.

@Thunder Kiss I think the main issue is that there is an assumption that women are seen as feminine and men as more masculine due to the social and familial roles we play. And that would make sense wouldn’t it… but whether you have dominant feminine energy or masculine energy has actually nothing to do with your gender and everything with how you grew up and how your childhood dynamic went. Basically which ever parent in your family was the more dominant ego structure, you take on their imprinting whether it’s mom or dad, masculine or feminine. Just because a man plays a masculine role doesn’t mean they are rooted in their masculine energy, there are feminine guys in masculine roles who have to overcompensate with inauthenticity and people pleasing. So embrace who you are and work with that. If you feel rooted in your feminity allow yourself to embrace that, receive, feel and love yourself. Eventually your masculine energy will come online and you will be able to tap more into it, and the dance begins as the inner feminine starts reconciling with your inner masculine, it’s a journey of receiving love and the letting go that eventually heals all wounds. It’s about being able to make empowered choices (masculine) while being rooted in the love and compassion of the feminine. The whole idea that men are masculine and women feminine makes sense only on paper and in red pill ideologies, but when you really see what’s going on, it is all very silly, to think that gender plays a role in the balancing out.

Thank you ! I wouldn’t have thought of explaining it the way you did but that makes so much sense. Men can be under so much pressure to be forever some sort of a provider and what not, at the end of the day we just want a break sometimes. It gets exhausting to always have to be the strong guy paying for everything, having to put up with all kinds of stuff, always perform at your job and what not… exhausting!

@Etherial Cat hey! Thanks for speaking up and good luck with your work you’ve got this.

Of course you’re right 100% haha. But I find that if we don’t realise that we are worthy of unconditional love, we won’t be attractive to other secure people who feel that way. We can create attraction by learning to be more assertive and masculine in the dating stage, but this will also entail attracting girls who may not be ready for a stable relationship. You charm a girl like that, and the next day she’s threatening to kill herself in order to gain attention (this actually happened to me many years ago right before my healing began, I called the cops and she got beat by her parents who opened the door). You learn to charm a girl, and you learn dating by learning about the masculine and feminine polarities and that kinda works, but keeping a healthy and loving relationship is a whole another ballgame. And there we need to dive deeply into - am I worthy of love, or do I feel like I am unlovable ? But you are correct.

@ivankiss gotcha bro

Do you mean how the individual in question bashed all step parenting all together ? I just had a glance at it and that was the comment that struck me the most, if so yes it shows an inability to empathise and narcissism, it’s alarming and should be probably banned. Because there are vulnerable individuals posting who might take him seriously.

Not at all, issue warnings and bans for insults and attacks, such as calling someone dull witted, or attacking someone with the insult of ‘being a fucking hoe from Germany where all girls are horrible and masculine’. Which is what happened in the thread that was deleted with the data loss.

Dear sir, what you’re doing here is gaslighting and attempting to blame the victims of your abrasive and abusive behaviour without taking a hard hard look on your own narcissistic tendencies. I am saddened that behaviour like this isn’t more regulated for in my eyes you’d be instantly banworthy, based on the quality and tonality of your posts not just in this thread.

This seems wildly inaccurate, inappropriate and uncalled for. @ivankiss asked for genuine advice with self-awareness with his issues. I think he’s entitled to that, and doesn’t need to be bashed for desiring to better and improve himself. By the way what he posted has nothing to do with narcissism. Narcissists (who are not absent on this forum) have no capacity for self awareness like he demonstrates.

I’ve seen it, it didn’t resonate at all. It seems that I’d have to put myself into a position for being loved for what I do. But that’s not unconditional love, unconditional love is given regardless of what you do, just on the basis of who you are. I also am coming from a place where In the past I was in the position of valuing myself based on what I can do for others, and in the name of health and healing that had to fall away. In really simplified terms, men who feel like they are valued based on Their actions didn’t have unconditionally loving moms and there’s a big shadow in that relationship. edit: let me specify, if I said my self-esteem was about being useful and needed that would be me being insecure. It’s much more different than saying I have the ability to be useful and needed, and yet it’s not a condition of why I am loved or lovable.

These are actually somewhat feminine traits because they encompass emotional vulnerability. I’m right there with you I’m not opposed to being that way what so ever, being a leader doesn’t exclude the awareness of your own emotional well-being at all. It’s quite the opposite, it’s because you’re aware of your emotional self and are taking care of yourself in such a good way, you extend that self-care and self-love onto others by positive containment. It doesn’t have to do anything with doing extreme sports, it has to do with the ability of taking positive ownership of those around you, and for that to be done well you actually need a good feminine background of emotional sensitivity, otherwise you won’t be able to intuit the needs of others.